Apple Female Users Frump Factor

Apple products are an appliance not a tool. Apple users are a cult-like crew who swallowed Steve Jobs' koolaide. And now yearn for more.

Apple made a composite of their girl users 'farming' data from Facebook.  The company has verified what most of us suspected all along.

Apple's estrogen-set are an amalgam.  Find them perched near like-festooned friends.  A cackle of freckled, bespectacled, jean-wearing, camisole topped, Nike soled, stringy haired, 'tweenty' year-old toadies pecking on MacBooks.

In sum they are not technical, middle class, conforming, ill-informed, left-leaning, global warming, pro-abortion guilters who likely voted for Obama.

Easy pickings for the company founded by a philandering billionaire over-achiever who died young because his ego drove him to ignore timely and critical medical advise.

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Tesla: Battery Flaw Turns Roadster Into A 'Brick'

Electric cars are a 21st Century snake oil scam.

The GM Volt is a failure.  And proof electrics pollute more than gas cars. Tesla thinks their 'toy' is tops.

A Tesla secret tries to hide a 'severe design' flaw that affect all models.

When the battery becomes totally discharged Tesla says the car becomes a 'brick.'  At that point, the car can't be started or even pushed down the street.

The company remedy is a $40,000 replacement of the entire battery done only at the factory.

Oddly, neither Tesla, nor any insurance company will make warranty or pay for the replacement. Tesla has naturally downplayed flaw. The company GPS tracks owners to 'catch' them pushing their battery-dead cars into a driveways.

But hey, it's only $140k - chump change.

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Russian Billionaire Developing Real-Life Borg

Russian Dmitry Itskov is spending big money to turn the science fiction in the movie Avatar into reality.

Dmitry has hired a 100-man science team to download a human mind into an android, or 'borg' host body. Immortality in just 10 years!

Science fiction? No. This guy is serious. 'This project is leading down the road to immortality,' says Itskov. 'A person with a perfect Avatar will be able to remain part of society. People don’t want to die.'

Is Dmitry a nut with too much money, maybe.

Consider the US DoD is spending $7 million figuring a way for troops to use their minds to remotely control androids taking their place on the battlefield.

If you thought the ethics conflict over organ harvesting was a threat, consider a world where the wealthy never die, and the poor are bred to make the parts for the 'borg'.

Artist Places Kneeling Hitler In Warsaw Ghetto

Art is enigmatic.  Sometimes an artist gets the goofy idea shock, anger, disdain, and outrage are a substitute for inspiration.  But it's a lie.

Italian artist Maurizio Cattelan has made the mistake of a lifetime placing a kneeling statue of Hitler in the middle of the Warsaw Ghetto.

First, the idiot is Italian, remember, Italy gave Hitler the inspiration for fascism.  And Italy started the war allied with Hitler fully participating in the massacre of innocent Jews.  Second, Cattelan gives Jew haters worldwide a laugh at a time Jews are once again struggling to be left alone.

Cattelan's actions are hiding behind the mistaken idea that his mediocre effort is 'art' but in reality he is no different than a skinhead or a neo-Nazi in Germany spitting on millions who paid the ultimate price during Hitler's 'final solution.'

The Warsaw ghetto was the largest concentration of Jews waiting for extermination in any city in Europe.  Of the 400,000 walled into the sector 300,000 eventually died either at Treblinka or in subsequent resistance effort by Jews known as the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising.

There is NO excuse, NO justification, NO reason this greaseball should be allowed to place his ill-conceived figurine anywhere, let alone in the middle of the Warsaw Ghetto.

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California, Illinois Most Hated States

California and Illinois are wholly run by Democrats. And both states wreak like the smell of a chunk of over-taxed road kill.  

Where Democrats control the agenda the population suffers.  Witness these two deep blue states boasting the highest taxes, worst junk bond rating, most toxic business climate of all 50. 

California has San Francisco - home to Nancy Pelosi.  Illinois has Chicago home to Barry Obama.  Obama's hatchet man Rahm Emanual is now lording over Chicago where over 500 have been murdered in 2012 alone.

Both states are the perfect laboratory model for how not to do it.  And both of these state losers have infested DC with their bottom-feeders to imprint the same failures at the federal level.

Ringling Bros Spank ASPCA Over Elephants

Extremists infect good organization like the ASPCA and the Humane Society.  Rationalizing malicious acts as 'passion' to 'protect' animals the errant groups got spanked in court today.

The animals went after Ringling Bros and their Asian elephants. Since they couldn't  find proof the circus abuses their pachyderms they 'bribed' a Ringling barn helper $190,000 to say otherwise.

The dung worker, Tom Rider was given the cash to file a lawsuit charging his employer with cruelty. Over time Rider was exposed as "essentially a paid plaintiff" who lacked credibility.

Ringling counter-sued and have today prevailed. The ASPCA and other groups are ordered to pay $9.3 million to compensate Ringling for damage to their reputation and lost revenue. A sum which likely falls far short of the actual harm the rogue organizations have wrought.

The settlement of course contains the boilerplate legal-sleeze 'admitting no guilt.' But it doesn't take a Veterinarian to figure out whose knees are deep in elephant doodee.

Irony bites the left-wingers once again. The crusaders are the perpetrators. Life is a three-ring-circus is it not folks?

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Global Warming Unstoppable

The latest data from Antarctica has frozen the Global Warming Cult again.

Geochemist Zunli Lu from Syracuse University found contrary to ‘climate consensus’ the ‘Medieval Warm Period’ approximately 500 to 1,000 years ago was worldwide.

In fact, Antarctica saw it – which means the Earth does global warming all on it's own gasses - man need not apply.

The UN's Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) insists warming in 1100AD was restricted to Europe so by extension today's warming has to be man made. Ehhh, sorry loons - wrong again.

The point being long before man showed up the planet was self-warming at much higher levels than today.  Go back to the 200 million years to the Jurassic you will see climate change so extreme that oceans covered Florida, and the polar caps were the size of a basketball court.

Man is not warming the planet - the planet is warming the planet.

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Fed Up With The Fiscal Cliff Yet?

If you are a liberal Democrat you think you won last November.  If you are a conservative Republican you think you lost last November.

The truth is simpler.  We all lost.

Obama back in office ensures a continuation of one economic and social disaster after another and a widening split among the populace.

Once it was mysterious why Obama seemed so incompetent.  And now we know.  He is not incompetent.  He is worse.  He is intentionally destructive.

Obama prods political points while DC burns.  Sad to think at least half the country can't tell the difference.

If you were or are an Obama supporter and still drink the poisoned koolaide from the Democrats vat of foul smelling brew you will be fine with the false crises games being played.

If you are not an empty headed liberal goon you will be anxious and angry as you watch Obama succeed in his little game of power and pain.

And if you are a 100 year-old Hmong grannie hanging out in Vietnam you can still share a laugh in a haze of cigar smoke and and wrinkled memories.  War, famine, disease, poverty and Obama mean nothing in the longer run.  Right?

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Top Ten Tawdry Temptresses Of All Time





History is really the story of how power corrupts. Especially in the bedroom. No stunning revelation that.  But consider the women who changed history spreading legs in high places were just 'average' people.  Most not even good-looking.

Pictured above find the top ten mistresses who in most cases altered the course of history lighting the loins of weak males in power. They are a fun bunch of gals. The 'other' women in history - from the left:
  1. Anne Boleyn was a commoner who got a job consorting for Cathryn of Aragon, King Henry The VIII first wife.  Henry eventually bedded Boleyn, destroyed the Catholic Church to marry her, and after a few years, beheaded Boleyn for not producing a male child.  Divorce Henry VIII style.
  2. Madame du Barry and Madame de Pompadour were both King Louis XV mistresses.  This guy destroyed France executing his grandson and throne heir, King Louis XVI. 
  3. Wallace Simpson the two-time divorcee from the USA who brought down a king of England. Boyfriend King Edward III marriage to the harlot of Harlem was too much for the British Crown.  So Edward abdicated in 1936 leaving the job to his stuttering brother George VI.
  4. Eva Braun married Adolf Hitler in the Führerbunker about an hour before the Russians tore the place up.  The Russians found a pile of burning corpses - hers, the dog, and Adolf.  Until Eva, Hitler seemed to be asexual. Then discover Adolf  had a bastard son while in France during the first World War.
  5. Marilyn Monroe bedded and married them all.  From Joe DiMaggio to Henry Miller to John & Robert Kennedy.   Famous as the 'airhead' blond persona - scary to think Marilyn had her finger on John Kennedy's button during the Cuban Missile Crises, huh? 
  6. Christine Keeler was 'doing' the Secretary of War, John Profumo, drug dealer Johnny Edgecombe, and Yevgeni Ivanov Naval attache to the Soviet Embassy in London all at the same time.  This babe was trying to solve the cold war and the war on drugs all by her lonesome.
  7. Monica 'blowjob' Lewinski 's five minutes of fame:  “I did not have sexual relations with that woman.”
  8. Camilla Parker-Bowles is the Duchess of Cornwall, Duchess of Rothesay, Countess of Chester, Baroness of Renfrew and now the wife of  Prince Charles Duke of Windsor.  Camilla was doing the nasties with Charlie while he was still married to the tragic Princess Diana. So much for hoity-toity titles!
  9. Alexandra Dupré was and may still be a call girl.  Not so interesting until she gets hired to keep NY Governor Elliot Spitzer in knee-deep in vaginas.  Spitzer's special hypocrisy extends from his sleuthing as the Manhattan District Attorney breaking up mob and prostitution rings. Then dipping his stick back into the latter pool in his spare time.
  10. Syria's Bashar al-Assad mistress?  If so, this one is a stinger. Asma Assad, Bashar's British-born wife told a friend she was the "real dictator" in the family.  She hasn't seen these pictures yet - ooops!
Well, there it is...the world is not run by men, and never has been - want proof?  Reread the list and see what happened when women prevail.

    Jeffrey Dahmer Walking Tour Sells Out

    The cannibal Jeffrey Dahmer was himself bludgeoned to death with a broomstick handle by fellow prison inmate Christopher Scarver.

    Anyone shedding a tear?

    A Dahmer rubber-neckers tour has been organized by a souless sales hack in Milwaukee.  The tour traces the haunts Dahmer frequented to find his victims.

    Janie Hagen's 25-year-old brother Richard Guerrero was Dahmer's 4th victim of the 17 in total known. The tour naturally pisses her off.

    The first four customer ghouls took the tour listening intently as a tour guide rattled off victim's names. Victims Dahmer met at each location along with infinite sexual details and gory illustrations of the each murder in sequence.

    Dahmer was an extra viscous killer. Not content to just kill.   He also raped, tortured, dismembered, drank blood (necrophilia), and cannibalized each hapless human storing part of many in his freezer.

    Luckily Dahmer's apartment building has been demolished.  Otherwise the 'customers' would have likely wanted to eat their lunch on the same counter-tops Dahmer used.

    The evil are better remembered than those who do good.  A testament to human nature.

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    Best Christmas Card Of 2012

    The best Christmas card of 2012 may be the one pictured left.  In one child-like gesture the little girl sums up what most think of Obama's reelection.

    The twins got all dolled up and went in for the pro treatment on December 6.  Just one day before Pearl Harbor day.  And one of the twins gave the world the gesture of the season.

    Of course the innocent thing wasn't flipping off the hapless photographer.  No, no, no, no, oh no.

    The unnamed princess had an 'ouchie' on the tip of that special digit.  And she picked the moment of the camera flash to make the gesture heard 'round the internet to point it out.  The camera next caught her turning to Santa insisting the injury was surely there.

    Still, it's a special moment. Twenty-years from now when the little girl is grown and plopping her own toddler on a Santa's lap Grandma will be waiting pensively nearby hoping the behavior isn't genetic and ready to spring again.

    And so it goes...

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    Bushmaster AR-15 Christmas Gift Of 2012

    Now we know why all the $1000 Bushmaster AR15s sold out last week.  Christmas gifts!

    True. Sandy Hook kids and the fireman killer William Spengler used the Bushmaster .223 caliber with 60-round clips

    But it seems rather than make people fearful of the lethal device many went out and bought all 'they' had in gun stores and gave them to loved ones for Christmas.

    How does the Angle know? Twitter. Grinning from ear-to-ear new Bushmaster assault rifle gift receivers quickly posted photos of themselves standing next to their Christmas trees aiming their brand-new assault rifles at the ceiling.

    Brownell munitions supplier began apologizing to the newbie Bushmaster brandishers because though they got the rifle, many will be lacking the high volume clips and ammo that go with them.

    Not to worry, Brownell is hustling hiring overtime workers to get the clips and bullets to customers ASAP.

    Oddly these are the jobs Obama promised to make. Or did he?

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    David Gregory Violates DC Gun Laws

    Gregory Defied DC Gun Laws Deliberately Despite Police Countermand.

    In a grand twist of irony slobbering liberal David Gregory 'brandished' a high-capacity AR-15 magazine on his show Meet The Press possibly violating Washington DC gun laws.

    Breitbart.com quickly raised the issue with the DC cops.  First, determine whether the magazine Gregory raised on camera was authentic.  Second, if authentic was there ammunition inside.  And finally and most importantly does Gregory own an AR-15 or know the owner himself.

    The extra fun part is how high the doo-doo gets on guys like Gregory.  The glass house has never been this easily shattered.

    Oh.  All Davey needed to do was have it in his hand and not turn it into police.  The magazine doesn't even have to be near the gun or hold more than 10 rounds.

    Hello, Mr. Davey?  Care to lecture us further on guns?

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    Sex Crazed Singles At Florida Seniors Center

    Sex sells. Over 30% of the web is about porn. Both men and women search for it about 90% of the time. Should all this end when you get old?

    Is there room for people over age 70 to publicly pose in clothed gymnastic sexual positions?  Or is that a genitalia too far.

    SaferSex4Seniors.org's motto is 'Do It Safely'. 

    The website has a video depicting old folks in Kama Sutra sex positions designed to stave off a shocking 71% rise in STDs among sexually-active seniors in Florida.

    Akila Gibbs of the Pasadena Senior Center said 'I think it looks like they're making fun of seniors, more than they're educating them.'

    Apparently the effort is not a hit with the young on Twitter and Facebook. Lets face it, who wants to picture grandma being mounted from behind by a guy in a Hawaiian shirt that looks like he was on the USS Arizona DURING the Pearl Harbor attack!

    Well, most of us would not deny old timers the same thrills in their golden years they likely had in their youth. But we can do without the visuals. Especially if you look worse bent over than you do standing up.

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    Helicopter Parent Crawling Baby Helmets

    Helicopter parents are obsessed and making their kids depressed.

    Thudguard.com is peddling a product they call the 'infant safety hat'. Part of the pitch is to prepare kids for helmet use later in life, and part is to placate the over-protective impulse in some.

    Looking closely at the device first notice the kids ears are covered.  Bam.  Hit from behind - didn't hear it coming.

    The helmet doesn't seem to prevent a crawler from swallowing loose change, or drinking from the dog's water bowl.  But it sure does let the errant parent put them on and walk away guilt free.

    After all, when you put on a helmet doesn't that make you invincible?   Ask skier Sony Bono who, along with his helmet became one with the trees.

    Six-Nine Seventeen Year Old Worlds Tallest

    Gigantism is abnormal growth due to runaway hormones before the bones have settled down.  Causes include neurofibromatosis or a benign tumor on the pituitary gland.  In all cases, if untreated the victims keep growing 'till early death bring the giants down.

    The world's tallest teen is  Elisany da Cruz Silva a seventeen year old Brazilian amazon measuring a svelt 6ft 8in tall.  Easily able to dunk a basketball without jumping - Elisany's legs are taller than most teens.

    Elisany luckily had the tumor on her pituitary removed, so her growing days are done.  And she may live to scrape her head on many a doorway if she doesn't jacknife on a short bed one day. 

    Elisany is modeling already but does have a boyfriend problem.  So far she is bottom feeding by picking a local twenty-two year old 5ft 4in shrimp sized throwback named Francinaldo da Silva Carvalho.

    Hey she is only seventeen folks.  All teen girls make these kinds of mistakes, even ones taller than Michael Jordan.  The pair are doomed of course.  Elisany could roll over one day and smother the luckless Francinaldo just with her hair.

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    83-Year-Old Supermodel Vogue Superstar

    Some nail the gene lottery large and fascinate the rest of us growing old gracefully.

    We cheer them because they are winning for the species.  And because there is something spooky about an eighty year old woman with natural skin as tight as a baby's bottom.

    Meet Daphne Selfe. She can be found on the photo wall at Vogue.

    Ms Selfe just agreed to pose as Madonna in her prime wearing the famous conical bra and corset from the singer’s Blonde Ambition tour.

    Daphne notes the get-up is a replica but still ‘terribly unforgiving. I thought they might have done a bit of airbrushing..I’m not that brave. I once often posed nude...’

    Daphne Selfe is a classic keeper, low on vanity, yet thrifty, elegant, and gifted.

    ‘I think it’s partly down to good genes. My mother was a livewire, she lived until she was 95. I’ve never really bothered with skin cream or anything like that...I did dye my hair at home for a while when I started to go grey in my early 40s.'

    The octogenarian's advise to the current crop of females? 'Women are too sloppy these days, they simply don't look in the mirror. Leggings and skinny jeans — just dreadful!'

    Daphne's kids are in their fifty's now, grandparents themselves. The idea that Daphne is still working as a model at the top of the profession is a gas. You go great-grandma!

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    'F' Word Fined In Middleborough, MA

    Headline: Malediction Mars Middleborough Missives Mean Monetary Mulct.

    Massachusetts views itself as a 'progressive' fore-leader, but in reality, the undertone is pretentious pomposity punctuated with political correctness. 

    So is it shocking a town south of Boston would view public profanation as a problem for the police force?

    Business owners say they have a store full of teens and parents bellowing in a mule-skinner manner.


    Former Selectwoman Mimi Duphily, “I don’t think it will solve the problem but it will make them understand what is acceptable behavior and what is not.”  Oh.  Mimi must have the book on 'acceptable behavior' - no wonder it's missing from the library.

    The town’s police chief thinks a $20 ticket will deter the foul-mouthed malefactors.  Others want a hefty $100 levied.   There is no fine suggested for playing rapper music in public though...

    Why stop at fines for four-letter words? How about public floggings, stonings, scarlet lettering, or a good draw-quartering?   

    Salem burned them just for saying 'beelzebub'.  Certainly the town can do a burning or two in the name of the F*** and C*** word .  After all, Bob Beckel and Bill Maher are paid plenty sputtering swearwords and they are watched by hundreds.

    Down's Syndrome Teen Wins Prom King

    With screening for genetic diseases like Down's syndrome, 90% of Down's kids are terminated prior to birth.

    Meet Max Jackowski who has Down’s syndrome and was not aborted.  Max beat every jock at the Lake George, New York high school to be crowned prom king. Max won by an astounding 80% of the vote.

    When Max was announced as the winner the crowd jumped into standing ovation. And grinning widely was Hahnah Saroff, who singled out Max to take her to the prom. Hahnah said she sees Max as a genuine guy who is always fun to be around.

    ‘I’m so happy. I’m so excited,’ Max blurted out.

    Max's mom, Lisa Jackowski began crying as she witnessed the outpouring of affection for her son. ‘I never imagined he’d go to prom in the first place,’ she told reporters.

    Recall Obama making fun of the 'special Olympics' when complaining about his own dorky crappy inability to roll a bowling ball? Obama has already scheduled abortions for his daughters he claims - no doubt Obama would rush the procedure if they became pregnant with a Down's kid.

    Max is a great guy - who also happens to have Down's syndrome. And today he is also prom king.

    The Great Tax Evasion Migration

    The USA is said to be a nation of immigrants. Today the country is becoming a nation of emigrants.

    The mass migrations are not East to West, or from other countries. The scramble today is to find a corner of the nation where one can hide from the creeps in DC. Or leave the once coveted shores entirely.

    A few states are still trying to keep the faith.  The ones developing energy - real energy, preserving original values, and creating jobs by lowering taxes and regulations.

    What do Nevada, Texas, Utah, Colorado, Arizona, Wyoming, North Dakota, South Dakota and of course Florida have in common?  They are balancing budgets, curtailing illegals, refusing to implement Obamacare.  States that are pro-gun, pro-life, pro-energy and making jobs.

    What do California, New York, Connecticut, New Jersey, Illinois, Ohio, Michigan, New Mexico and Alaska have in common?  They are losing their income makers.  These states are missing the point.  Most are raising taxes, running tons of red ink, and still welcome those looking for hand-outs not hand-ups.

    There are still a few smart people left in the country, sadly, they just don't make up the majority.  Blue state bumblers and red state patriots.

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    'Beauty' Cause For Firing Says Jury

    Dentist James Knigh and his wife made a marital decision - fire ten-year assistant Melissa Nelson. Why? To save their marriage.

    The Iowa Supreme Court upheld the firing in part because Melissa was not canned based on gender, race, or even misconduct. Melissa was simply too attractive and Jim was walking around with his meat-whistle whistling happy tunes during business hours.

    The ruling is not out of line. The Federal 8th Circuit Court of Appeals upheld a business owner's firing of a valued employee who was seen by his wife as a threat to their marriage. In that case, the fired employee had engaged in flirtatious conduct.

    But Melissa wasn't flirting with Jim. Apparently Melissa's clothing choices were making Jim's middle leg spasm and the wife noticed.

    Of course the defendant and the jack-boots among women's groups are outraged. The premise they claim puts the onus of keeping male hormones in check on women. Or does it?

    If Jim had come to the office wearing just a jock-strap and a couple of nipple rings would Melissa have fired him were the roles reversed?  And oh yea, how about Jim's female patients?  Is Jim gonna have to fire all of them too?

    Christmas Lights Middle Finger Okay'd

    Sarah Childs is pissed at her neighbors in Denham Springs, LA. So this year she decided to rub-it-in in a yuletide way.

    Sarah set her outside Christmas lights routinely this year, with one prominent exception. Perched high on her roof aimed carefully at the neighbors was a giant cutout hand with a prominent middle finger raised, a fuck-you emblazoned in colorful lights in a holly-jolly Christmas kind-of-way.

    Offended neighbors called the cops. Sarah took the finger lights down and contacted the American Civil Liberties Union.

    It seems the city has a hard-on for Sarah. Ms Childs was intimidated and ticketed by the city several times. So she stood in her driveway singing an obscene song of dissent which got her yet another visit from the cops and yet another ticket.

    Sarah has prevailed. U.S. District Judge James Brady barred city officials from interfering with the display. The order admonishes the city's “continued efforts” to prevent Childs from displaying her holiday lights as a pointed violation of her rights to free speech and due process.

    So now the cops and the city and the neighbors have to 'fuck-off' and leave Sarah to her roof displays and songs.  Sarah has set a precedent all of us are now free to follow now.  Got any shit-head neighbors?

    Dad Catches 4-Year-Old Daughters Rapist

    Ever wonder what you would do if your kids were assaulted and you caught the perp in the act - in person?

    A Lavaca County Texas rancher caught a ranch hand sexually assaulting his 4-year-old daughter returning to the house after tending to his horses, unexpectedly.

    Outraged the dad started to punch the would-be rapist in the head savagely. In short order a fatal blow was struck.

    The father told the sheriff he didn't intend to kill the animal, rather, was trying to defending his daughter.

    The little girl was taken to a hospital in Victoria, Texas, for examination. The tot was shaken and traumatized, but otherwise okay.

    Asked if charges would be filed the sheriff said, "You have a right to defend your daughter. He acted in defense of his third person. Once the investigation is completed we will submit it to the district attorney who then submits it to the grand jury, who will decide if they will indict him."

    A preliminary autopsy report confirmed the perp "died from blunt-force head and neck injuries."

    The rancher has been found innocent by a grand jury.  The only remaining question is how will the little girl be scared from the ordeal.

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    Detroit Becomes Zombie Theme Park

    Detroit is an urban wasteland filled with all thats unholy in America. 

    In 1950 Detroit peaked at 1.5 million industrious souls.  Since then Detroit has become poor black and gang central. The poverty stricken, undereducated, crime-ridden, drug-taking parasites of society.

    The largest urban shell in the USA spawns an entrepreneur with an idea.  Fence off the decaying city and add zombies.  Charge the public to wander the dilapidated streets filled with actors dressed as the walking dead.  A kind of apocalyptic apoplexy of awe.

    Hypster Mark Siwak wants to create live-action terror theme park out of whats left of the city, but critics are pissed complaining the idea takes advantage of Detroit's plight.Take advantage of plight?  Only a left wing goon would phrase it that way.

    The idea mimics Atlanta's Zombie Apocalypse, where thrill-seekers wield paint ball guns to play hide-and-seek with undead zombies in a formerly abandoned truck stop.

    Is anyone really surprised? Once upon a time in America the dream was to create shining cities on a hill. Conquer poverty and disease. Today it's all about bailouts and waiting in line for a jobless check..  

    Dutch Hold Steve Jobs iYacht Hostage

    One of the last things Steve Jobs was working on was a giant modernistic all aluminum iMac controlled teak decked 'green' iYacht.

    The 'project' was five years in the making and Jobs himself spent an inordinate amount of time making sure the French designer now trying to rip off his estate did what he wanted.

    "The yacht has been impounded," lawyer Roelant Klaassen representing French designer Philippe Starck.  Phil says there are two unpaid bill totaling $9 million bucks owed to him. 

    The full frieght on the 230 foot iYacht which looks scarily a lot like a modern version of Noah's ark cost well north of $130 million bucks and took over a year longer to build than Jobs lived.

    And since Steve and Phil were pals during most of the effort, there was no formal contract drawn-up spelling out Phil's fee - surprise!

    Will Job's three kids and widowed wife ever set foot on the sweeping teak poop deck? Or will Phil the Frenchman have the tin-can craft crushed into a million iPhones out of spite?

    Stay tuned.

    Small Boobs Need Not Apply

    Remember the Seinfeld where Elaine files a complaint with the city over her contention Monk's cafe was hiring hyper endowed hostesses.   Elaine confronts Monk's owner.   The waitresses are sisters, daughters of the proprietor.  The hiring was not about boobs, it was about the family gene pool.

    Real life imitates art.  Barbara Mann was HR Director at Sunbury Medical Associates. Ms Mann claims she was fired for complaining about CEO David Savell’s directing her to base hiring on rack size not job skills.

    If true, both Savell and Sunbury Medical have some 'splain'n to do. Investigators seem to be concentrating on Mann rather than figuring out how big is big and sending the waitresses thru TSA scanners.

    And why not have boobs behind a serving tray?  Hooters has an entire business model based on the idea.  Besides wouldn't it be bad to bar bold breasted bombshells from bringing burgers?

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    Public Teddy Bear Masturbator Arrested

    How about a nifty, nutty, numbskull story about a guy that can't keep his willy out of his teddy bear?   Weenie waver stories are not new, but this one has an odd lint filled tawdry tone.

    Charles Marshall, 28, got a FOURTH ticket for 'masturbating with a stuffed animal' in an alley near the Elm Street Health Clinic in Cincinnati, Ohio.

    Charlie's childhood must have been a zoo.

    Charlie's obsession for soiling teddy bears is not inhibited by fines or jail it seems. One judge banned Charlie from public libraries where he frequenting the restroom choking both bear and chicken and being none too bashful about it.

    So there is a law against 'public masturbation with a stuffed animal?' Ohio lawmakers must have been seen other perps along the stuffed toy lines to come up with this one.

    Charlie's supply of teddy bears seems to be inexhaustible. How about a restraining order keeping him out of Toys-R-Us?  Charlie might get worse and attack a real bear in a public zoo - oh oh, that would be bad.

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    Obama Burial Urn Turns Heads

    Finally, an enterprising urn company entrepreneur has figured out how to scare the bah-geezus out of mausoleum visitors.

    Cremation Solutions in Vermont is using facial recognition software and 3D printers to create urns with human faces. The company says all it needs is a picture front and side of the 'occupant.'

    The urn, left, was made to show-off the product. Kinda odd they chose Obama don'cha think?

    Each urn is built to order.  For instance a customer may want to add a cigar (Bill Clinton), or maybe a mustard stain on the side of the mouth to get that extra 'what Dad had before his heart gave out' last meal touch.

    Filling cemeteries with hundreds of 'realistic dead heads' will surely keep the living away. After all who wants to visit a park full of plastic heads...

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    Wacky Wife Sprays Spouse For Gas-Passing

    Shannon Manatis, 41 had had enough. Hubby Michael laughed as he lifted a leg and let the dank dogs of duodenum out.  The rank sulfuric scent wafted rapidly filling the room with an odor so pungent Shannon says her throat started convulsing in a gag reflex.

    Shannon decided to get even. She picked up a can of lemon-scented Lysol and started to empty the contents aerosoling a thick mist room-wide. Michael wiping lemon Lysol from his eyes grabbed a bottle of water and started to dump H2O on Shannon.

    After the bottle was emptied Michael grabbed his cell phone and bolted for the front door. Once outside, Michael sucking fresh air into his lemon-singed lungs and dialed 911.

    The cops took command interrogating each in strict police procedure in order to extract who sprayed what when and at what point did the water and tea enter the picture.

    Michael's version has Shannon assaulting him by spraying him in the eyes with Lysol - the farting part not mentioned. Shannon's version has Michael attacking her with a water bottle and a cup of tea - the Lysol part not listed.

    The cops, unable to determine criminal conduct made no arrest.  Both were admonished to avoid each other while Michael's malicious intestinal forces settled back to 'normal.'  The cops confiscated Shannon's remaining supply of Lysol.

    Case closed - for now.

    Women: Fake Orgasms, Road Rage And Cigars

    Women are an enigma.  Women wanted to be free to vote, have sex like men, drive a car, and smoke cigars.  They won, women get to do all that and more.  But what have women done with their hard fought freedoms?

    A survey of 50,000 in the USA, UK, and Australia say 25% of women fake orgasm, 30% say orgasm is no problem, 27% say they have no sex at all.

    About 67% of women say their guy can get fat.  But 50% of men would leave her at a bus stop for ballooning-out.

    Oddly, just 44% of women want to marry compared to 70% for men.  And oh yea, 61% of women say they have had road rage compared to 56% for the males.  Thus, making women more prone to violence and less willing to tie the knot?  Isn't that wrong?

    Women are also smoking more so the fairer sex has added lung cancer, heart disease, and emphysema to their exclusive disease-list risks for ovarian and breast cancer.

    Congratulation ladies, after 50 years of liberation you won!

    Fat Friends Make You Fat

    Researchers from Loyola University found thin students who make fat friends grow fatter.  The opposite was also true.  Thin students with thin friends stayed thin, and even lost weight.

    The principle is similar to pet owners who come to resemble their pets.

    The study indicates that members of social groups mimic behavior and appearance even to the point of molding a fat body. 'Our results support the operation of both homophily and influence,' said Dr David Shoham.

    Homophily?   That's when people find and bond with others like themselves.  So, if you want to stay thin, get thin, be confident you can one day be thin stay away from people who look more like a hippo than a gazelle.

    Use the same wisdom combating any anti-social, unhealthy life-style choice.  Choose friends as carefully as you choose a spouse, a pet, a house, a car, or a job.  But if you are already one of the 'ugly' or 'fat' ones yourself then you are the desperate one groping for higher quality - good luck.

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    Pandemic To Strike Honolulu, LA and NYC First

    MIT researchers have analyzed and now predict which airport hubs will spread a pandemic virus first.

    The virus will spread in the USA from three points simultaneously, Honolulu International, LAX, and Kennedy in NYC. The volume of air traffic is not the primary factor. If that were true, Chicago O'Hare and Atlanta would trump Honolulu. The Hawaii connection arises due to it's location between Asia and LAX.

    The Angle has reported on the disturbing research in Holland sponsored by the National Institutes of Health USA (NIH) and the subsequent publishing of the work detailing the creation of airborne H5N1 bird flu virus in the lab.

    The pandemic will wipe out 85% of those who contract H5N1. Estimates range from between 200 million to 500 million deaths worldwide are likely. But why with all our modern medical advances can such a mass death occur? Simple. Air travel combined with an airborne virus that has an 85% mortality rate.

    The first detection of the airborne version of H5N1 will no doubt occur in Asia. And when it does, if you live near the three aforementioned airports, you are doomed. The virus will already be in the air near you. And forget thinking you will escape because you are young and strong, H5N1 is an equal opportunity killer wiping out young and old in the same ferocious way.

    End of the world on Friday, folks.

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    Science Solves Sleeping Male Syndrome

    Why do men nod off after sex?  The question has plagued woman-kind since cave days.  Well, now we know.

    Neuroscientist Serge Stoleru head of research for Inserm says, ‘...after men have an orgasm they usually experience a refractory period (excitement lapse) when they cannot be aroused...for women it seems to be different...[they lack]  a refractory period and may be asking for more when their partners just want a rest.’

    Okay get out the Nobel; hurry before Serge falls asleep! The first complaint women have is being left behind, awake, undone. Some women even interpret the snooze reaction to full frontal rejection leaving THEM feeling somehow inadequate. So what gives?

    Serge quickly adds that men get flooded with prolactin (zaps dopamine wiping out arousal) and serotonin (anti depressant). Earlier research pinpointed a blood rush after orgasm depleting the muscles of energy-producing glycogen. Since men have higher muscle density, they become extra tired after sex. You now - limp.

    This information can be used in a couple of ways.  First, women can give themselves a break since the chemical culprit is to blame not the extra work needed to fire her up.  Second, men should apologize ahead of time, after all, it's gonna happen anyway so might as well clear the path to guilt-free slumber.

    So, men get to sleep guilt-free and women still get to lay awake wondering why they bother at all.

    Android Phone Controlled Toilet

    The Japanese were bathing centuries before Europeans.  Heck, they still take off their shoes before entering a house.  So it makes sense the Japanese would be first to bring a toilet that washes your butt AND tests your poop for problems in the same sit-down.

    The phrase 'a solution looking for a problem' best describes the Lixil toilet.

    The user can flush and lower the lid from an Android smart phone.  Even more bizarre, the toilet is equipped with a bio-lab for sampling doodoo and peepee in realtime.

    Don't be shocked to learn the microprocessor-laden crapper keeps track of user music choices, squirting-water jets, and utility bills.

    Warning: This is one appliance you had better read and understand EVERY WORD and ponder EVERY ILLUSTRATION in the User Manual before sitting your narrow ass down!

    In the end, the Japanese apparently have run out of things to do.  Next look for web sex so you don't have to be there yourself - you can just phone it in.

    Guinness: 528-lb Female Sex-Hose Beast

    Guinness says “World’s Fattest Woman” is Pauline Potter.

    Aside from tipping the scales at over 500 pounds the massive lady lost 98-lbs during a self-reported sex marathon with her ex-husband Alex.

    Pauline's ex-hubby did not leave her due to her absurd size, but because he didn't get along with her son.  When the goof read that Pauline 'won' the Guinness record for world's fattest female he hurried back - and that's when all the 'big' bumping started.

    'I hadn’t had sex in three years,' Pauline confessed, 'but we did it six times...he took charge as I couldn’t move much, but he was so attentive. I orgasm every time.” Pauline's sex confessions are way to much information, but wait....

    Alex weighs-in at a fragile 140-lbs.  Starting to get the impression now?

    “It’s hard to position her and find her pleasure spots as she has a lot of fat in the pelvic area,” Alex illuminates. “But it turns me on knowing she’s satisfied. Although once, when she got on top, I couldn’t breathe.”

    There it is, Alex is like a male version of a death star circling the sun in a cellophane wet suit. Pauline is using Alex like a Pilates exercise machine. “I still eat Big Macs, but I’ll choose between fries or nuggets,” Pauline said. “I tell Alex he needs to visit more so he can help me shed the pounds quicker.”

    Heads-up Alex in case you missed the obvious. Get your narrow rear outta there before you wake up squashed under a quarter ton of female flattening you like a coke can under a car tire.

    Encourage Pauline to get a gastric bypass instead.  Nature did not have you two in mind when the sex dealie was setup.

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    SF Homeless Free To Pee, Poop and Panhandle

    The homeless plight is now a full-blown reality for record millions thanks to Obama's miserable economic failures.

    California has the most homeless of all the states and San Francisco the most in any city.

    San Francisco spends over $200 million a year on over 10,000 homeless prowling city streets.

    Tom Ammiano, San Francisco Dem Assembly goon is no stranger to bringing idiotic legislation.   And now he wants to free the homeless to pee, poop and panhandle pretty much wherever they want.

    The Lesbian-Gay-Bi-Trannie activist has cooked up a 'homeless bill of rights' to include:
    • Sleep anywhere they want including on sidewalks, benches, and in public toilets
    • 24 hour access to public facilities
    • City provided syringes and needles
    • Live in cars parked indefinitely on city streets
    • Dumpster dive withtout molestation by police
    • Urinate and defecate wherever they want - even on public sidewalks
    • Get cash welfare payments freeing them to buy cigs and booze with handout money
    • Unrestricted panhandling and mooning
    • When busted get 100% compensation for their junk if seized
    • Right to refuse bed, food, or shelter
    • Right to a free lawyer even if too addled to communicate with one
    Ammiano even being in the assembly tells you how badly California is managed.  But the Angle digresses.  The decline of California is amusing is it not?

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    Women Poor Pickers Of Playmates

    Women should hire a pro to pick their potential life-mates.  The methodology females use to select their sad-sacks is sordidly suspicious.

    Match.com has an annual 'Love Geist' report which tries to guess what their customers are looking for.  The gist of the slide-set is that women shift their preferences as they get older.

    The Angle has decoded the euphemistic mess Match.com has concocted.  Read theirs here, then compare to ours below.

    18-24orsomes are superficial and silly.  These under-baked women want a guy that can impress their girlfriends more than meet their emotional needs.  If the guy can dance, and sports a six-pack under his farm-aid-tee-shirt he is getting access to the goodies.

    25-34ish females want a guy with a Lamborghini.  These women are suckers for the 'players' pitch.  Such women are prone to bed a guy as a career move. Then get fired the next day for 'smell like sex' at the office.

    35-44ers women are panicked.  They have mis-selected more than once and stand confused why they are about to pass the 'fertile' fail-safe point without a decent guy to spoon at night.  These women are doomed to even more superficial one-nighters, beer-bums, weed-wonks, and dead-ends.

    45-54ores are resigned.  The men they want do not exist.  They laughably look for  unmarried, successful, mature, balanced, un-needy, healthy and undamaged men ready to settle down.  Are you serious ladies?

    55-sitting life out as a single woman.  Women over 55 want a guy that makes them laugh AND ignores their widening waistlines, down-angled areolas, and hot flashes.  By now these women have taken a lifetime to fail finding a soulmate so they become picky.  In other words, they're gonna die with a house full of cats.  And end by taking more pride in an herb garden than a grandchild.

    Match.com's report is a sales brochure.  The report is written to please their customers.  The Angle does not operate under such delusion or sales quotas.

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    Study: Women A Pile Of Sex Parts

    The European Journal of Social Psychology verifies what advertising execs have known for 100 years.

    That 'people' see women as boobs, legs, and asses.  Not as a whole persons. In contrast, men are seen as a morphous, singular chunk of knuckle-dragging meat-eaters.

    Men are one item, women a collection of orifices, fluids, and sex goodies.

    The participant pool was evenly divided between men and women. Regardless of their gender, subjects saw men more "globally" and women more "locally." 

    "We can't just pin this on the men. Women are perceiving women this way, too," researcher Gervais said. "It could be related to different motives. Men might be doing it because they're interested in potential mates, while women may do it as more of a comparison with themselves. But what we do know is that they're both doing it."

    Researchers said the 'negative' perception of women could be changed, but they didn't say how. Isn't that special?

    Men may now shed guilt over this, and women are no longer allowed to point a finger at the men; they do it too. So neener, neener, neener...

    MD Exodus Over Obamacare

    Get ready, get set, good luck finding a doctor in 2013.

    The Doctor Patient Medical Association (DPMA) surveyed 700 MDs nationwide and found a majority will close their practice after Obamacare is in place.

    That's the not the bad news.  The really bad news is the USA already faces a 90,000 doctor shortage by 2020. And by 2025 the shortage exceeds 130,000.  Despite the new exodus taking place.

    “Doctors clearly understand what Washington does not — that a piece of paper that says you are ‘covered’ by insurance or ‘enrolled’ in Medicare or Medicaid does not translate to actual medical care...” says DPMA cofounder Kathryn Serkes.

    Of course the AMA and AAFP are silent - they endorse Obamacare.

    C'mon folks is this rocket science? Did anyone expect these guys to bend over and take 50 million new patients at cut-rates? Apparently the Obama voters think so - but then they aren't  thinking, are they...

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    Homeless Guy Crushed In A Dumpster

    People joke about the homeless jumping into dumpsters scavanging food scraps and looking for a warm place to dumpster-down.  But the dangers inherent in screwing around in the garbage bins are real.

    Hapless and homeless, 41-year-old Chad Adams was snoozing in one such dumpster when a compactor arrived to pick it up.

    The truck lifted the dumpster and started to compact the garbage.  That's when Adams woke up and started to scream.

    Quickly pulled from the refuse, Adams went into cardiac arrest.  Sadly, Adams died a short time later while having surgery at John Peter Smith Hospital.

    The Medical Examiner said Adams died of crush injuries to his pelvis.

    A warning label on the dumpster would not have saved Mr. Adams.   When it's 20f outside the homeless are gonna chance it anyway.  Can you blame them?

    Hair Grow Miracle Turns Guy Into Girl

    A bald guy claims the drug Propecia (Finasteride) hair grow and prostate deflater turned him to the dark side.

    William McKee, center left, wanted hair not boobs. Bill said the drug made his boobs feel frisky so he became a cross dresser, loaded up on female hygiene products and insisted on being called Mandi.

    Bill says 'my rock hard chest...began to soften reaching the point where I had noticeable breasts even under my clothing...the thing is… I didn’t take finasteride to become a woman. I took it to prevent male-pattern hair loss (baldness)...'

    Bill lamented the transition from man to woman made him consider suicide. Yet kept swallowing the pills!

    'My entire life has fallen apart in a slow and agonizing downward spiral that led me on a roller coaster ride of depression, anxiety, panic attacks, a severe and disabling loss of focus and concentration...,' yet he kept downing those pills!

    Bill took the pills for nine months. As his boobs got larger and his hips got wider some might wonder, why keep taking the drug?  Oh yea. Mandi is suing to get a sex change and he/she wants the drug company to pay for it.

    Merck, the drug’s maker, said, 'No causal relationship has been established between Propecia and persistent sexual side effects.'

    Hint to the goofballs out there taking this drug to grow hair...if your nipples start to get erect watching Olympic wrestling STOP TAKING THE PILLS! And learn to live with your bald head idiot!

    Fusion Reactors Two Years To Reality

    Our 4.57 billion year old sun is a fusion reactor. 

    All life, light, energy, everything on earth that crawls, creeps, and clings owes it's existence to the sun's fusion of hydrogen nuclei into helium.

    Fusion is easily the answer to mankind's insatiable and infinitely growing need for cost-effective energy.  


    Once a controlled fusion reaction is lit on Earth, all other sources of energy become academic.
    Oil, coal, wind, wave, and solar are picking at the edges of the suns fusion furnace and are a faint remnant of original energy from the sun.

    Nuclear fusion occurs when atomic nuclei join together, or "fuse", to form a single heavier nucleus.   The beauty of fusion is that it uses hydrogen (heavy water Deuterium and Tritium) as fuel snarking out helium and a loose neutron with about 20 mega-electron-volt of energy as waste.  Both elements are harmless to man. And even more convenient, hydrogen is the most abundant element on Earth. 

    On July 5, Lawrence Labs fired an array of 192 lasers with a combined pulse of ultraviolet light generating 500 trillion watts of peak power. The pulse duration was 23 billionths of a second. The laser array was not firing 'at' a target - but within two years, scientists will fire the 192 lasers at a 1mm pellet of hydrogen.

    Ignition of the 'pellet' will start a self-sustaining fusion reaction that will release vast amounts of energy far surpassing the 'break even' point.  The obvious result would alter the entire geo-political-energy profile of the planet, nearly overnight.

    But not everyone is happy.

    Greenpeace complains research into fusion diverts funding from wind and wave power. Be glad Greenpeace and the loons that man their rubber boats are not working the problem. If Columbus had listened to Greenpeace our ancestors would have been around for the Black Death and none of us would be here now.

    (Note. Into physics? Fusion of Deuterium with Tritium creating Helium-4, freeing a neutron, and releasing 17.59 MeV of energy ends the oil and coal industries, so be prepared for a fight!) 

    Science: Early Death Test Predictor

    Are you 50 to 80 years old?  Toss your walker and take the test..

    A science team tested more than 2,000 men and women in Brazil for flexibility and power to weight. The spry guys and gals able to perform the two actions using minimum support were five to six times at lower risk of death than those who needed to use aids such as their hands and knees.

    Sit cross-legged on the floor. Now rise to a standing position using nothing more than your feet and legs. If you roll to your knees first, or prop yourself with a hand or elbow you are in trouble.

    Study leader Dr Claudio Arazjo adds more insight, 'If a middle-aged or older man or woman can sit and rise from the floor...without the help of a hand - they are not only in the higher quartile of musculo-skeletal fitness but their survival prognosis is probably better than that of those unable to do so.'

    This is a test you should do with someone else around just in case you fall on your face or crack a knee and end up soiling yourself because no one is around to help you get up.

    And if you fail don't fret. There are plenty of other reasons you are gonna die, not being able to stand up like a 20-year old at a porn premier is not a lifetime achievement remember.  Or is your memory already going too?

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    Donkey Abuser Hides Behind 14th Amendment

    Did you know abortion, gay marriage, pot smoking, even the massive debt Obama, Pelosi and Reid are piling up are all being based on the 14th amendment to the US Constitution?

    Now a Hispanic man is trying to justify an act of bestiality based on the 14th amendment!  

    Carlos R. Romero, 32, of Ocala is accused of having sex with a two-year-old miniature donkey named Doodle.  Florida state law forbids bestiality.

    Carlos is defending himself by claiming bestiality laws are a violation of his constitutional rights.  Specifically Carlos and his lawyer say the 14th amendment is a violation of 'due process' that is alleged to allow Carlos to dip into the donkey pool.

    Carlos told police he was overcome watching the Donkey's mate.  The errant caretaker admitted he, 'may have come in contact with the donkey' by accident and left his DNA - also 'by accident.'  Digging deeper Carlos lashed out at Florida whining,  'backwards' state and 'people frown on Zoophilia here.'

    Carlos out on a $2,000 bond is demanding he be reunited with Doodle.  The country will be waiting to see if the court agrees with Carlos, you know, based on the 14th amendment and stuff.

    Starbucks Store Inside A Funeral Home

    How far is too far in the land of coffee beans?

    Starbucks drinks a lot of their own product apparently.  How else could a strategy to stick a coffee shop inside a funeral home get brewed up?

    Robinson Funeral Home in Easley, South Carolina, installed 'Starbucks Coffee Corner' next to the line of caskets and a small chapel. Owner Chris Robinson says the funeral business grew from his grandfathers corner general store where people sat and drank coffee back in the day. So bringing coffee back is just business.

    Chris says the Starbucks is the first in town and will also be open to the general public, not just to funeral goers. Oh, well that's okay then.

    The Angle has to ask the obvious of course. If Starbuck's can make it inside a funeral home, then what place on the planet is safe from the java jockeys? And in the end what's to stop a full blown Burger King from seizing the corner of a city morgue?

    After all, the dead guys don'tcare what the living are eating - loading up on lattes and double cheese burgers in a black suit seems suddenly possible!

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