Gun Greets Guy Pulling Dog Poop From Car

New Mexico Pueblo painter Mateo Romero says a Santa Fe cop pointed a rifle at him while he was cleaning dog poop out of his SUV.

According the police report, the officer pulled out a rifle and detained Romero after neighbor Maria Markus reported a burglary in progress at her home.

Romero says he parked in Markus's driveway because his Shih Tzu - Han Solo took a dump in the car while he was driving past her house. Romero says Markus boxed him in with her car and called 911.

Romero complained that Markus refused to talk to him before police arrived. So there was little he could do except continue to shovel out the hot pile while the cops were apparently en route.

Lesson? When a pet or a kid starts unloading before you get home, keep driving and take care of it in your own driveway. Some neighbors apparently lack the sense of humor necessary to tolerate cock-ah cleanup on their turf.  And the cops are not above poop-profiling people.

Abandoned Dog: 'I Need A Home' Sharpee'd On His Head

California Strikes 'Husband' And 'Wife' From State Law

California voters approved Prop 22 in 2000 blocking gay marriage. The vote was struck down by California's Supreme Court in 2008, prompting voters to amend the constitution and ban gay marriage again.

Last year, the U.S. Supreme Court upheld the 9th Circuit's striking of the ban as unconstitutional.

Despite the will of the people, gay marriage is now a done deal - and spreading nationwide.

Armed with the SCOTUS decision, gay state Sen. Mark Leno of San Francisco wanted to 'clean up' the messy traditions of heterosexual marriage in California.  So he created SB1306.  Gov. Jerry Brown signed SB1306 yesterday.

The newly signed law lets fudge-packers and muff-divers unite in matrimony.

The law also requires the words 'husband' and 'wife' be stricken from all monuments, monoliths, buildings, books, pillars, pylons, cereal packages, comic books, registrys, transcripts, chronicles, newspapers, magazines, pamphlets, trophies, boat hulls, tombstones, freeway overpasses, outhouses, obituaries, birth certificates and tree trunks in the state.

And replaced with 'I now prounounce you spouse and spouse.'

Dee-do-dee-do-dee-do-dee-do.  Narrator: 'You are about to enter another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind...Next stop, the Twilight Zone!'

Graffiti Tagger Fries On Third Rail Of NYC Subway

The word 'graffiti' comes from the Italian word graffiato ('scratched').

Graffiti bandits 'tag' freeway sound walls, railroad boxcars, white delivery trucks and the tiled surfaces inside the once pristine walls and cars of the New York subway system.  They cost taxpayers billions.

Jason Wulf, 42, was probably 'tagging' just before 10pm at the 25th Street Station in Sunset Park, Brooklyn when it happened. The Queens-based graffiti goon was found dead on the tracks at the station after being electrocuted by the third rail.

Though some say the notorious defacer was a hero the truth is Jason was an obsessed ego-maniac who had no real self-worth. Wulf had been arrested 13 times since 2008, including this past February for criminal mischief, graffiti and trespassing,

Wouldn't it be a hoot if someone emptied a can of contractor orange on his headstone?  Where's that funeral service again?

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Drunk Driver Says Dog Was Driving

The place: Quickie Mart, Oconee County, GA.
The crime: Hot dog.
The suspect: 60-year-old, Wesley Mark Terrell.

The cops got a call about a canine locked in a car in front of a fast food joint on a 100 degree day in sweat hog Georgia. Sheriff Sgt. Partain says the inside temperature of the car was indeed over 123 degrees. 

After locating the car's owner Wesley Mark Terrell, officer Partain couldn't avoid Wesley's forceful feculent breath wreaking like the floor of a post apocalyptic frat house party.

How sauced-up was Wesley?  Well the curmudgeon told the cop his overheated dog drove him to the store to buy some corn.

Unconvinced, Partain arrested Terrell and he was later charged with Animal Cruelty and DUI.

The dog was turned over to Animal Control too cool down.  And Terrell?  He's training a cat how to drive now.

Man Arrested For Cruelty To Rats

1 In 3 Southerners Below Poverty Line

Poverty zoomed to record levels while Obama's been playing golf. 

Not really news, but the sheer magnitude and devastation Democrat party policies have had on both the national debt and the poor cannot be understated.

A grim new report from the U.S. Census Bureau shows a solid band of high poverty concentration running from Arizona to North Carolina.

A staggering 25% of the U.S. population, 77million Americans, lived in poverty areas in 2010 - a shocking 56% jump from the 2000 census and a full 20% jump since Obama took over.

The gap between rich and poor is now as bad as when the robber barons JD Rockefeller, Andrew Carnegie and Cornelius Vanderbilt were trying to top each other on the backs and blood of ordinary people.

Even more fun? When Johnson announced the war on poverty in 1964 the jobless rate for whites and blacks was the same. Today, after $4 trillion has been blown on poverty programs, blacks are victim to double the jobless rate than whites suffer.

Incomes In Steep Decline For The Young
Record Number of Women Out of Workforce

Berkeley Mandates Free Pot To Poor

Despite marijuana listed under the Federal Controlled Substance Act as a Schedule I drug, Berkeley is sanctioning illegal sales of Cannabis Sativa city-wide.

Heck, the city council even wants to make sure the 'poor' dope smokers get their doobies too, despite the high cost.

The city of Berkeley is requiring 'medical' marijuana shops give away 2% of their stock annually to low-income 'patients.'

“We think this is the responsible thing to do for those less fortunate in our community,” said Berkeley City Councilmember Darryl Moore.

Hey Darryl encouraging people to break federal drug laws is not a 'responsible thing to do,' you obtuse, pointee-headed goon.

Wonder what the limp-dicks in Berkeley would do if the NRA handed out free guns to the poor?  Wouldn't that be a hoot?

Extra Credit For Not Shaving Armpits?

Dog Vomits Wedding Ring Lost For Five Years

Five years ago, Lois Matykowski lost her wedding ring. But no one suspected Tucker had it 'till he coughed it up a week ago.

"He's known in the family to be the food burglar," said Lois.

Two weeks ago Lois and her granddaughter were feasting on Popsicles when Tucker snapped the one in her hand and swallowed it whole.

Apparently the sugar hit and the Popsicle stick were too much for Tucker and he up-chucked a his own weight of indescribable stuff two days later.

But wait, what the hell is that in the middle of the goop? Matykowski's wedding ring, the one that disappeared five years ago. When the ring disappeared Lois said, "I was devastated, how do you replace something like that?

The vet theorized the Popsicle stick dislodged the matrimonial band stuck inside the hapless hound for half a decade. Hoping to find other hardware disappearing over the years, the vet took a series of x-rays, but bubkiss.

Despite Tucker being a jewel thief, Matykowski carries no grudge. "I'm just elated," she said. "He threw up on the carpeting and I don't even care."

Still, the prudent parent will keep Tucker away from the kids toys just in case...