Woman Masturbater At Walmart

Monday a Louisiana Walmart security camera recorded 33-year-old Shaniqua Johnson shoving sausages under her shirt and then bolting for the bathroom.

The security guard knocked on her stall door and after no response swung it open and gazed upon a scene he said would “haunt his dreams forever.”

Yes.  You guessed it.  Shaniqua was ramming Jimmy Dean sausage into her nether region with furious pace and abandon.  The guard complained, “she didn’t even stop...she just stared at me and kept going.”

Given Shaniqua's size and raw indifference to discovery the little 140 lb security guy got scared and ran for help.  Some seven cops were needed to wrestle the sausage and Shaniqua to the ground.  Shaniqua faces beefs of shoplifting, indecent exposure, and resisting arrest.

Walmart stated they "do not tolerate this type of behavior" and point to bathroom signs clearly warning "no merchandise is allowed beyond this point."

But Shaniqua's solo saunterings prolly justify adding something about auto-erotica to the signs.   That or shed cigar shaped comestibles from the meat department.

Native Americans Not Native Nor First

Archaeologists have discovered evidence of human hunters from over 130,000 years ago - 115,000 years earlier than once theorized in North America.

And LONG before ancestors of so-called Native Americans crossed over the Bering Land bridge at the end of the last ice retreat 13,000 years ago.

Researchers found butchered remains of a mastodon in San Diego.  The chips and fractures could only have been made by early humans.

American Indians are not native and not first.  So the US government shouldn't give preferences to the red devils.  Right folks?

Huffpo: End White Male Vote

A leftist toad over at Huffpo wants to strip white men of their voting rights.

Student sycophant Shelley Garland self-describes as an “activist and a feminist” and says she's “working on ways to smash the patriarchy” and the “toxic white males” retrograde force in politics.

Garland insists white males are to blame for the recession of 2008, 500 years of colonialism, Brexit, and the election of President Trump.

A daunting directory of delusions.

The 2008 recession was thanks to Bill Clinton who jammed subprime lending rules into Fannie Mae.

Colonialism? How about Africans enslaved each other for thousands of years and were rounded up by Arabs and sold to the Spanish, Portuguese and Brit slave traders?  Still happening today.

Brexit and Trump of course are the direct result of millions of disaffected people from all races and creeds unseating the globalist left.

Well, given Garland looks like a white guy maybe this is more self-hate than anything else?

Brothel Bust From Clogged Sewer

Juan Wang and hubby Joseph Emery were running a whore house at Jade Massage Therapy in Austin, Texas.

Business was bold, bustling and brisk.  But one day an industrial disposal unit connecting the building to the city’s sewer service was choked off and clogged with condoms. 

The cops got warrants and raided Wang's weenie-works catching naked patrons and prostitutes in the act.  A search of Wang's domicile also turned-up $66,000 cash in a safe.

The couple had a dozen damsels living at the house.  Wang waxed, “most would tip between $40 and $120 [for the a la carte] on top of a standard $60 charge [for back and butt rubs]."

"Milk" And "Tomahawk Missile" Are Racist

PETA has a new video belching, “Did you know that milk has long been a symbol used by white supremacists?”   The screw-loose-leftists insist milk is the neo-Nazi drink of choice and has “long been” a symbol used by white supremacist groups as a “thinly veiled allegory for racial purity.”

But the milk and cookies don't stop with the PETA pukes.  On April 8th the toad-in-chief at Mother Jones, Clara Jeffrey tweeted, "That the missiles are called tomahawks must enrage a lot of Native Americans."

Clara got scalped trying to co-opt American Indians and what they might like or dislike.

Hitler preferred meth to milk.   And the Indians have bigger issues than military names for missiles but then what else do left-wing goof have going?

7 Executions In 11 Days

Arkansas hasn't had an execution in twelve years.  So death row is packed like sardines in a salty tin.

The state’s midazolam supply (sedative) expires at the end of April and a fresh batch is in short supply.

Originally Gov. Asa Hutchinson okayed eight in eleven days but a judge has delayed the die date for one of the inmates beyond the drug's expiration.

Four blacks, three whites will dies this month and that has anti-death-penalty goons going gaga.  Tough

Convict Hides Gun In Butt

Twenty-three-year-old Jesse O’Neal Roberts was standing in line being booked at Alabama’s Limestone County Jail when a gun fell out of his butt.

Officers surmised Roberts pooped his pants but the gun was found in the bottom of his boxer shorts on first frisk instead.

When Roberts was arrested for burglary the cops thought he was drunk or crippled.  But the real reason was far more repugnant.

The brandishing butt burglar was charged with carrying a pistol without a permit, “first-degree promoting prison contraband."    What?  No law covering a firearm rammed up a rectum?

California Pandemic Warning

California Dept of Public Health issued a March 31st dire alarm warning two invasive (non-native) mosquito species named Aedes aegypti (the yellow fever mosquito) and Aedes albopictus (the Asian tiger mosquito) are breeding like wildfire in 10 counties (160 cities).

These are the Zika, dengue, chikungunya and yellow fever mosquitoes.

The CDC suspects the century-record rains in the sinking state combined with large existing populations of these dangerous disease vectors will lead to a world-wide pandemic on a scale equal to or exceeding the 1957 Asian flu pandemic.

Thanks again Jerry 'Bonehead' Brown and your merry band of deleterious Democrat Party dolts.

N Korea Nuke Ship

North Korea may detonate a nuclear bomb in a US harbor using a freighter instead of a missile.

James Woolsey, ex director of CIA told congress, "...an atomic bomb hidden on a freighter sailing under a false flag into a U.S. port, or...fly a nuclear 9/11 suicide mission across the unprotected border with Mexico [would put] New York, New Orleans, Los Angeles, and San Francisco, San Diego, Phoenix, Austin, and Santa Fe...at risk."

Woolsey added, "A Hiroshima-type A-Bomb yielding 10-kilotons...would cause about 200,000 casualties..."

Worse?  North Korea may even have a Hydrogen bomb.  Such a bomb would kill millions.

Still think it's a game liberals

N Korean Defector Says Kim Jong Un Will Use Nukes: ‘World Should be Ready

California School Too White

Busing and desegregation began after the Swann v. Charlotte-Mecklenburg Board of Education Supreme Court ruling in 1971.

Nearly 50 years later schools are arguably more segregated now than they were in the 60s.  But despite desegregation failure schools are still punished for having too many white students!

The Los Angeles Unified School District gives more money to schools dominated by minorities (less than 3 in 10 can be a white kid).

Walter Reed Middle School in North Hollywood, CA. is facing massive budget cuts leading to staff layoffs and larger class sizes because there are too many whites attending classes.

Surprised the racists aren't going after a school name change too.  Major Walter Reed was a white MD in the Army who figured out yellow fever was transmitted by mosquito saving countless lives building the Panama Canal.

Cancer Crap Shoot

So you quit smoking, don't eat meat, load up on cruciferous vegetables and only drink bottled water.  You got Cancer cornered.  Or do you?

Cancer comes "no matter how perfect the environment", according to co-author Dr Bert Vogelstein, also from the Johns Hopkins Kimmel Cancer Center.

Prostate, brain and bone cancers are 95% caused by mutations due to random DNA copying errors. And the copy problem leads to 77% of pancreatic cancers.

In fact, 66% of all cancers come from copying errors, 29% from lifestyle or environmental factors, and just 5% from inherited faulty genes.

Dirty Harry said it best, ‘You've got to ask yourself one question. Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?’

Arizona U Crybabies

In the olden days, growing up meant no more behaving like a child. Today, the scourge of political correctness is producing puny, crumbly little crybabies, literally.

The University of Arizona has a handbook, “Diversity and Inclusiveness in the Classroom.”

The manual instructs students to say “ouch!” when offended by a faculty member or a classmate. And demands offenders say “oops” to acknowledge the "ouch."

And the extra fun part?  The idea came from the infertile mind of Jesus Trevino, the school's Vice Provost for Inclusive Excellence who gets $214,000 a year to come up with such crap.


College Coddles Stout Students

Carleton University removed weight scales from gyms because the devices were “triggering” corpulent coeds...or so say school officials.

Carleton claims it's all “in keeping with current fitness and social trends."

Manager of wellness, Bruce Marshall says the scales remind people they are fat and leads to a “negative impact” on health.

Student Marko Miljusevic disagrees, “We shouldn’t remove something because some people abuse it, if they can’t handle the number that shows up on the scale then don’t step on it.”

Which part of a "fitness trend" is hiding from the truth?

Shopper Catches Fire

Shoppers at the COSTCO in Puyallup, WA. smelled smoke.  The trail led to the hardware isle.

Witness Everett Tyrrell said he saw two or three people standing over the smouldering pantless man with a fire extinguisher at the ready.

“...I guess his pants...caught on fire,” Tyrrell said.

A COSTCO manager said the man pulled his pants off pronto and avoided being badly burned.  But his LG phone left a scorch mark on the floor, nonetheless.

The man got a new pair of pants, a tube of panthenol and an expedited check-out.   Betcha he's happy the phone wasn't in his front pocket.

Yoga Pants Polluting Seas

The University of Florida says microfibers from sports wear and other industrial uses are polluting the seas.   You know them as polyesters, polyamides, and polypropylene (e.g., nylon, Kevlar, Nomex, trogamide, Prolen).

Recent studies have shown that microfibers can end up in the stomachs of marine animals, including seafood, like oysters.  When you eat an oyster stuffed with the fibers you get a gut full too.

Ever heard of the Great Pacific Garbage Patch?   The debris consists of small plastic particles.  The flotilla ranges in size from 270,000 sq miles (the size of Texas) to 5,800,000 sq miles or "twice the size of the continental United States."

But the crap in the Pacific Patch is too hefty to end up inside a tuna.  And you were sweating a nuke war...

Toni The Tampon

Cass Clemmer from the Republic of Congo has a kid's coloring book out entitled The Adventures of Toni the Tampon.  The prevarication posits that men get menstrual periods too.  

The agenda is what's behind pushing men into girls bathrooms and showers.  And allowing men 'self identifying' as women to compete in and dominate women's sports.

Clemmer claims, “I’d rather help just one genderqueer or trans menstruator feel like they were seen than sell a thousand copies only to reinforce the boundaries society draws by gendering periods in the first place."

In case you hadn't noticed the left has a cadre of callous curmudgeons hellbent on blurring the biological distinctions between male and female.   And these loathsome villains are targeting little kids.  

Direct comments to #periodcoloringbook on Twitter.

'If They Are Here Illegally, I Won't Teach Them'

Hawaii almost had a hero. 

Campbell high school teacher John Sullivan penned an email responding to another one sent by a school counselor about stats on students staying home from school due to deportation fears.

Sullivan wrote, "This is another attack on the President over deportation. Their parents need to apply for immigration like everyone else.  If they are here in the US illegally, I won't teach them."

And that's when the proverbial poop hit the principal.

Superintendent Jon Henry Lee shoved the school rules governing the use of the department's email system into Sullivan's face.   Then lectured the panicky pedagogue,  "I just reminded him again that we don't discriminate against any individuals, we're going to service all students that are registered in our school."

So Sullivan predictably now says he's misunderstood.  "My comment in the email refers to (the email's title) if students is (sic) kept home, teachers cannot teach them."

The problem?  Sullivan was right and the school wrong.  Illegals do not belong in our schools!

States: 5 Best, 5 Worst

If Democrats are so smart why do they run their states into the ground?  Is it intentional? 

The annual survey of states from the investment advisors at 24/7 Wall St. shows the GOP run states are on top, again.  And the bumbling blue states are sucking hind teat, again.

North Dakota, Minnesota, Nebraska, Wyoming, Utah, Iowa, and Texas
Connecticut, West Virginia, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Rhode Island, and 50th Illinois.
So where's California?  Three years ago they were 50th, but thanks to Silicon Valley they are 16th this year.  California still has the highest taxes, most debt, 2nd worst credit rating, most illegals, most poverty, most on food stamps and worst schools.  But sugar-daddy tech keeps them in beans while they manage to screw everything else up.

Pee In The Pool?

Lindsay Blackstock of the University of Alberta, Edmonton says, “Our study provides additional evidence that people are indeed urinating in public pools and hot tubs.”

The scientists tracked levels of an artificial sweetener, acesulfame potassium (ACE) found in processed foods.

Two Olympic sized public pools were tested over a three-week period.   Nearly 20 gallons of pee was detected in one of the pools and about 10 gallons of the yellow stuff was found in the other...

But the really nasty news was in hot tubs.  About three times the concentration of the pool pollution was found.

Olympic legend Michael Phelps says, “I think everybody pees in the pool, chlorine kills it, so it’s not bad.”  Ah, not so fast there pee-boy Mikee...

Compounds in urine, including urea, ammonia, and creatinine react with chlorine to form DBPs.  Long-term exposure has been linked to asthma in pro swimmers and pool workers.

So why pee and not poop too...you think no one knows, right

Undocumented Unafraid And Deported

Daniela Vargas, 22, was at a press conference bragging about being illegal when she was spotted on TV by ICE (Immigration Customs Enforcement).

Vargas, an Argentine national was brought to the U.S. at age seven. She was protected under Obama’s Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA) program. But her DACA status expired.

Vargas' car was pulled over by ICE agents moments after the news conference, “You know who we are, you know what we’re here for.”

Vargas' Dad and brother are likewise here illegally and are also detained by ICE.

Maybe it's time to be afraid?