Gore On A Mission From God?

After decades of pulpiteering spurious prophecy snake oiler Al Gore is flaming out.   So what's the shyster to do?

Gore's doubling down on his film "Inconvenient Truth" and releasing “An Inconvenient Sequel: Truth to Power.”  

Gore pronounces, “God intends for us to take responsibility for how we treat God’s creation...the consequences are attributable to us...I think God intends for us to open our eyes and take responsibility for the moral consequences of our actions.”

Gore the Holy Crusader for Climate Change!   Al's hubris reaches it's full efflorescence zenith.

Crazed Ken Doll Collection

Mattel says sales slides force Ken & Barbie to change.

Ignoring the anachronistic names Ken and Barbie as the possible culprits the company is instead remaking dolls in THEIR version of customer's image.

Last year Barbie showed up fat, svelt and somewhere in between topped with blond, red, blue and Afro style hair. 

Yesterday Ken showed up the same strange way.

Ken now ranges from the corpulent, bespectacled Michael Moore model to the oddly inappropriate Jihadi version complete with suicide bomb and AK47.  Oh and lets not leave out the man-bunned ambiguously gendered tranny model too.

So will the little girls (and gender confused boys) go for the new lines?  Or will the two dolls and the kids that buy them get replaced by androids in the end?  Stay tuned.

Pee Privilege Panic

Northern Arizona University is admonishing students to park their “pee privilege.”  Defined as, “never [having] to think about gender identity, ability, or access when peeing.”

Anonymous school officials say transgender students are getting hammered with verbal, sexual, and physical abuse somewhere near the urinals. 

So pee-ers must “Keep yourself accountable...this person...[doesn't] fit into either restroom.” 

The truth is jack-booted feminists resent sitting to pee.  And the transgender pee policy is just the de jure deflection of the day.

Chocolate Milk From Brown Cows

We know the public is dumb because at least half of them vote for Democrats.

And we don't expect much from kids.  For example a 2011 study found half of 4th, 5th, and 6th-grade students didn't know pickles were cucumbers or that onions came from plants.

But what about the 'grown-up?'

The U.S. Dairy Innovation Center surveyed over 1,000 adults in April and found nearly 10% thought brown cows make chocolate milk.  No one dared ask them where cows come from, luckily.

The 'backward' people from farming communities knew the answers. 

But the Obama/Hillary voters living in big blue cities like New York, Chicago, San Francisco and Los Angeles are the loose-cannons that don't know where basic foods come from, folks.

2.2 Billion Obese

A third of the world's population are now clinically obese.  Doubled since 1990.

Not talking bulky, big boned, bulging, bovine, beer-bellied, or chortling chubalitos.  We refer to full blown flabanatted fat farms.

And it's killing people faster than any other disease and crippling them with type 2 diabetes, hypertension, liver disease and cancer.

Man Blows Big Bucks Becoming An Elf

Some say the 'old' bi-gender designation M/F is obsolete.   So why not obliterate the entire idea of Homo Sapien and become an Elf?

Luis Padron, 25, from Buenos Aires, was bullied as a kid.  So he escaped into a fantasy world of fictional creatures, literally. 

After blowing $32,000 on liposuction, nose/ear job, skin  bleaching, full body hair removal and permanent eye color change the goon has morphed into an Elf.

But Padron ain't done yet.  He's still gotta get a heart-shaped hairline and a limb lengthening to reach 6ft 5in tall.  Who says Elves are tiny turds?

Padron is ridiculed more now than ever and won't ever get a date on Match.com.

But Elves are known for sexual threats, seducing people and causing harm.  So Padron's real motives are not all that mysterious.

Coffee Shop's Rape Sign?

Leftists came up with 'safe spaces' to suppress free speech.   And soon after coined 'rape culture' to demonize white males.

The two concepts came together when a Brooklyn coffee shop mounted a humorous bathroom sign, left.

'How is anyone supposed to feel safe?' wrote Instagram user arteye. 'You're normalizing rape culture and sexual assault against women or any person who would be bothered by someone peeking in on them in the bathroom."

Clever Roast owner Luca Tesconi says, 'I like to make jokes, so I googled funny bathroom signs.' 

Wife Nadia Tesconi suspects the much-ado-doo-about-nothing kicked-off when a customer got upset laptops are not allowed during busy times.

But after death threats started the Tesconi's took the sign down.  And oh yea, laptops are still not allowed during busy times.

Woman Masturbater At Walmart

Monday a Louisiana Walmart security camera recorded 33-year-old Shaniqua Johnson shoving sausages under her shirt and then bolting for the bathroom.

The security guard knocked on her stall door and after no response swung it open and gazed upon a scene he said would “haunt his dreams forever.”

Yes.  You guessed it.  Shaniqua was ramming Jimmy Dean sausage into her nether region with furious pace and abandon.  The guard complained, “she didn’t even stop...she just stared at me and kept going.”

Given Shaniqua's size and raw indifference to discovery the little 140 lb security guy got scared and ran for help.  Some seven cops were needed to wrestle the sausage and Shaniqua to the ground.  Shaniqua faces beefs of shoplifting, indecent exposure, and resisting arrest.

Walmart stated they "do not tolerate this type of behavior" and point to bathroom signs clearly warning "no merchandise is allowed beyond this point."

But Shaniqua's solo saunterings prolly justify adding something about auto-erotica to the signs.   That or shed cigar shaped comestibles from the meat department.

Native Americans Not Native Nor First

Archaeologists have discovered evidence of human hunters from over 130,000 years ago - 115,000 years earlier than once theorized in North America.

And LONG before ancestors of so-called Native Americans crossed over the Bering Land bridge at the end of the last ice retreat 13,000 years ago.

Researchers found butchered remains of a mastodon in San Diego.  The chips and fractures could only have been made by early humans.

American Indians are not native and not first.  So the US government shouldn't give preferences to the red devils.  Right folks?

Huffpo: End White Male Vote

A leftist toad over at Huffpo wants to strip white men of their voting rights.

Student sycophant Shelley Garland self-describes as an “activist and a feminist” and says she's “working on ways to smash the patriarchy” and the “toxic white males” retrograde force in politics.

Garland insists white males are to blame for the recession of 2008, 500 years of colonialism, Brexit, and the election of President Trump.

A daunting directory of delusions.

The 2008 recession was thanks to Bill Clinton who jammed subprime lending rules into Fannie Mae.

Colonialism? How about Africans enslaved each other for thousands of years and were rounded up by Arabs and sold to the Spanish, Portuguese and Brit slave traders?  Still happening today.

Brexit and Trump of course are the direct result of millions of disaffected people from all races and creeds unseating the globalist left.

Well, given Garland looks like a white guy maybe this is more self-hate than anything else?

Brothel Bust From Clogged Sewer

Juan Wang and hubby Joseph Emery were running a whore house at Jade Massage Therapy in Austin, Texas.

Business was bold, bustling and brisk.  But one day an industrial disposal unit connecting the building to the city’s sewer service was choked off and clogged with condoms. 

The cops got warrants and raided Wang's weenie-works catching naked patrons and prostitutes in the act.  A search of Wang's domicile also turned-up $66,000 cash in a safe.

The couple had a dozen damsels living at the house.  Wang waxed, “most would tip between $40 and $120 [for the a la carte] on top of a standard $60 charge [for back and butt rubs]."

"Milk" And "Tomahawk Missile" Are Racist

PETA has a new video belching, “Did you know that milk has long been a symbol used by white supremacists?”   The screw-loose-leftists insist milk is the neo-Nazi drink of choice and has “long been” a symbol used by white supremacist groups as a “thinly veiled allegory for racial purity.”

But the milk and cookies don't stop with the PETA pukes.  On April 8th the toad-in-chief at Mother Jones, Clara Jeffrey tweeted, "That the missiles are called tomahawks must enrage a lot of Native Americans."

Clara got scalped trying to co-opt American Indians and what they might like or dislike.

Hitler preferred meth to milk.   And the Indians have bigger issues than military names for missiles but then what else do left-wing goof have going?

7 Executions In 11 Days

Arkansas hasn't had an execution in twelve years.  So death row is packed like sardines in a salty tin.

The state’s midazolam supply (sedative) expires at the end of April and a fresh batch is in short supply.

Originally Gov. Asa Hutchinson okayed eight in eleven days but a judge has delayed the die date for one of the inmates beyond the drug's expiration.

Four blacks, three whites will dies this month and that has anti-death-penalty goons going gaga.  Tough

Convict Hides Gun In Butt

Twenty-three-year-old Jesse O’Neal Roberts was standing in line being booked at Alabama’s Limestone County Jail when a gun fell out of his butt.

Officers surmised Roberts pooped his pants but the gun was found in the bottom of his boxer shorts on first frisk instead.

When Roberts was arrested for burglary the cops thought he was drunk or crippled.  But the real reason was far more repugnant.

The brandishing butt burglar was charged with carrying a pistol without a permit, “first-degree promoting prison contraband."    What?  No law covering a firearm rammed up a rectum?

California Pandemic Warning

California Dept of Public Health issued a March 31st dire alarm warning two invasive (non-native) mosquito species named Aedes aegypti (the yellow fever mosquito) and Aedes albopictus (the Asian tiger mosquito) are breeding like wildfire in 10 counties (160 cities).

These are the Zika, dengue, chikungunya and yellow fever mosquitoes.

The CDC suspects the century-record rains in the sinking state combined with large existing populations of these dangerous disease vectors will lead to a world-wide pandemic on a scale equal to or exceeding the 1957 Asian flu pandemic.

Thanks again Jerry 'Bonehead' Brown and your merry band of deleterious Democrat Party dolts.

N Korea Nuke Ship

North Korea may detonate a nuclear bomb in a US harbor using a freighter instead of a missile.

James Woolsey, ex director of CIA told congress, "...an atomic bomb hidden on a freighter sailing under a false flag into a U.S. port, or...fly a nuclear 9/11 suicide mission across the unprotected border with Mexico [would put] New York, New Orleans, Los Angeles, and San Francisco, San Diego, Phoenix, Austin, and Santa Fe...at risk."

Woolsey added, "A Hiroshima-type A-Bomb yielding 10-kilotons...would cause about 200,000 casualties..."

Worse?  North Korea may even have a Hydrogen bomb.  Such a bomb would kill millions.

Still think it's a game liberals

N Korean Defector Says Kim Jong Un Will Use Nukes: ‘World Should be Ready

California School Too White

Busing and desegregation began after the Swann v. Charlotte-Mecklenburg Board of Education Supreme Court ruling in 1971.

Nearly 50 years later schools are arguably more segregated now than they were in the 60s.  But despite desegregation failure schools are still punished for having too many white students!

The Los Angeles Unified School District gives more money to schools dominated by minorities (less than 3 in 10 can be a white kid).

Walter Reed Middle School in North Hollywood, CA. is facing massive budget cuts leading to staff layoffs and larger class sizes because there are too many whites attending classes.

Surprised the racists aren't going after a school name change too.  Major Walter Reed was a white MD in the Army who figured out yellow fever was transmitted by mosquito saving countless lives building the Panama Canal.

Cancer Crap Shoot

So you quit smoking, don't eat meat, load up on cruciferous vegetables and only drink bottled water.  You got Cancer cornered.  Or do you?

Cancer comes "no matter how perfect the environment", according to co-author Dr Bert Vogelstein, also from the Johns Hopkins Kimmel Cancer Center.

Prostate, brain and bone cancers are 95% caused by mutations due to random DNA copying errors. And the copy problem leads to 77% of pancreatic cancers.

In fact, 66% of all cancers come from copying errors, 29% from lifestyle or environmental factors, and just 5% from inherited faulty genes.

Dirty Harry said it best, ‘You've got to ask yourself one question. Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?’

Arizona U Crybabies

In the olden days, growing up meant no more behaving like a child. Today, the scourge of political correctness is producing puny, crumbly little crybabies, literally.

The University of Arizona has a handbook, “Diversity and Inclusiveness in the Classroom.”

The manual instructs students to say “ouch!” when offended by a faculty member or a classmate. And demands offenders say “oops” to acknowledge the "ouch."

And the extra fun part?  The idea came from the infertile mind of Jesus Trevino, the school's Vice Provost for Inclusive Excellence who gets $214,000 a year to come up with such crap.


College Coddles Stout Students

Carleton University removed weight scales from gyms because the devices were “triggering” corpulent coeds...or so say school officials.

Carleton claims it's all “in keeping with current fitness and social trends."

Manager of wellness, Bruce Marshall says the scales remind people they are fat and leads to a “negative impact” on health.

Student Marko Miljusevic disagrees, “We shouldn’t remove something because some people abuse it, if they can’t handle the number that shows up on the scale then don’t step on it.”

Which part of a "fitness trend" is hiding from the truth?