Armless Artist Stabs Tourist

Ninety pound South Beach, Fl artist Jonathan Crenshaw is homeless, armless and for years painted prodigiously with just his feet to the delight of tourists.

But last Tuesday around midnight Crenshaw grabbed a pair of scissors from his waistband (using a foot of course) and stabbed tourist Cesar Coronado.

Coronado's girlfriend says they were just asking for directions (at midnight).

Crenshaw's rap sheet includes trespassing, disorderly intoxication, vandalism, and battery on police officers, firefighters and city code inspectors.  But not with a pair of scissors until now.

Local newspapers say the artist claims he lost his arms when his mother fed him rat poison.

Crenshaw also says Gloria Estefan gave birth to 200 of his children.  So there's that too.

Read more here: https://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/crime/article214692415.html#storylink=cpy

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Penis Pictures For Science

A Missouri State U sociology professor wants your manhood.

Prof Alicia Walker is amassing measurements of men's penises both erect and flaccid for a research project.

“The purpose is to investigate how men feel about their bodies in a culture where we place emphasis on size, including size of penises,” Walker says.

The catch?  You have to be over twenty-two years old.  But luckily all types of “men,” including “[Assigned Male At Birth], [Assigned Female At Birth], Post-Phallo, Intersex, Genderqueer” are allowed.  Whatever those terms mean.

Email your lap-lizards to Prof Walker if you wanna get your dick into the mix but be forewarned, ya gotta be persistent.  Her email server is flooded.

Man Crushed Carrying Mom's Casket

As the mother's coffin was being raised by pallbearers up to the lakkian (funeral platform), the ladder shifted and collapsed. 

The coffin fell onto son Samen Kondorura, 40, and trapped the other pallbearers.  Samen's head was crushed and he died on the way to the hospital.

The whole thing was captured on video and posted on YouTube.  Some 300,000 rubberneckers have already taken a look...we post it here to test your ghoulish guts

Carrying A Cancer Gene?

Iceland knows who is predisposed to cancer. But the government is keeping it a secret. Why?

When all the Icelanders volunteered to give DNA samples they did not give permission to be told the results.

About 0.8% of Icelanders carry the breast cancer BRCA2 gene.  The same gene that threatens males with untreatable prostate cancer.

"That is utter...bullshit," says Dr. Kári Stefánsson (founder of DNA testing company deCODE). "There is a tradition in...society, to save people who are in life-threatening situations, without asking them for informed consent..."

Iceland's use of "presumed consent" was ultimately deemed unconstitutional.  And Stefánsson's outrage does seem a little 'convenient' given his connection to deCODE.

Read more here: https://www.mcclatchydc.com/news/nation-world/article213014904.html#storylink=cpy

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The Delusional Generation

We had the great generation (won WWII), the baby boomers (born after WWII), Gen X (baby bust), Xennials (disco gen) then Gen Y Millennials (the Delusionals).

The Delusionals born between 1980 and 1994 now 24 to 38 years old are supposed to be post college and well into their careers of choice.  But instead faced the post Democrat Party Subprime crash and eight years of Obama's failed economy.

The result?   Despite a few of them hitting it big, like Mark Zuckerberg and Kyle Jenner most still live with their parents and have crushing college debt.

The Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis, found the net worth of an average family headed by someone born in the 1980s fell 34% below expectations in 2016.

Despite 24% never expecting to own a home, 75% not expecting to marry and 30% uninterested in parenthood half expect to be millionaires before 60.

How about that for a tidy delusion folks?

Top Ten Ways Blacks Keep Racism Alive

Why do black racists want and need racism kept alive?

There is a carload of cash to be made and a ponderous pile of political power to be wielded.  Just ask Jesse Jackson, Al Shaprton, Louis Farrakhan, the Congressional Black Caucus, fascist Hollywood and the 'Fake News' Media.

Here are ten hints you're facing a race hustle:
  1. Victimhood invokes false sympathy. Sympathy used to control and ridicule.
  2. Identity Politics.  Blacks vote for blacks, whether incompetent or even criminal.
  3. Racism Everywhere/Always.  The false idea all blacks are victims of racism always.
  4. Reparations. False idea that blacks alive today are owed cash for slavery. 
  5. Reverse Racism. False idea that blacks can never be racist.
  6. Ignore Reality.  Blacks use the past to justify acting badly in the present.
  7. White Privilege.  False idea whites get preferences when in fact the opposite is true.
  8. White Guilt. Left wing whites swill in self-flagellating guilt...for them it's better than sex.
  9. Segregation. Ironically blacks are demanding to be segregated from whites now.
  10. Whitepeople.  The word contraction blacks use to demean and denigrate.
Obama's presidency was by all measure a complete waste of money and time.  But Obama did manage to re-light the cold war and re-divide the country along racial lines.

Cockroach Milk Next Superfood?

Science says the Pacific Beetle cockroach of Hawaii which oozes non-dairy milk-like crystals power-packed with turd-loads of nutrients.

The study says,  “A single crystal is estimated to contain more than three times the energy of an equivalent mass of dairy milk.”

Two companies already have 'food' products containing the crap.

Africa's Gourmet Grubb says, “Think of Entomilk as a sustainable, nature-friendly, nutritious, lactose free, delicious, guilt-free dairy alternative of the future.”

Canada’s Entomo Farms says, “Yes, there will be people who think [insects] are icky or have a yuck factor, but the ingredients are so versatile.”

Sure...and so is eating a rack of roadkill but who's gonna go there?

Cops Taser Man Sexing Car

“We were called to the 1200 block of East Broadway to a report of a naked male underneath a car, he was attempting to stick his penis into the tailpipe of the vehicle.”

Lt. Scott Powell of the Newton (Kansas) Police Department said the man did not obey police commands to cease and had to be zapped with a stun gun.

The man was later charged with misdemeanor lewd and lascivious behavior and a restraining order was issued on behalf of all parked and moving vehicles in the vicinity.

Green Haired Turtle Near Extinction

Scientists estimate that 150-200 species of plant, insect, bird and mammal become extinct every 24 hours.  

Elusor macrurus, the green haired turtle that makes the Mary River it's home has been pet-hunted to near extinction.

Aside from the green mohawk and dangling flesh-pods from it's chin, Elusor has gill-like organs inside its cloaca (genitalia) enabling it to stay underwater for up to three days.

So why care about this goofy animal?  No reason really...unless you want the last one.

Celebrity Foreskin Facials

Celebrities are self-centered, narcissistic, aggrandizing, overweening and vain.  We tolerate their malodorous politics because they entertain us.

But how far is too far, even for a celebrity?

Cate Blanchett, Sandra Bullock and Oprah are getting 'penis facials' made from cloned cells harvested from amputated male-baby foreskins.

Anti-circumcision groups wonder if Oprah would like a face-full of material “produced with tissue extracted from the genitalia of little girls?”   As if gender is the issue?

White Man Robs Casino In Black Face

Cameron James Kennedy, 26, allegedly armed-robbed the New York-New York Casino on the Vegas Strip.

Kennedy was under house arrest for a pair of prior bank robberies but apparently cut off his GPS monitoring bracelet to do the new robbery.

“I want all your hundreds, and don’t mess around,” Kennedy commanded.  The perp scooped-up $23,000 and made his get-a-way in a taxi.

Cameron cleverly smeared black makeup on his face and wore a pair of glasses in an attempt to conceal his true identity...but no cigar...he was later spotted by witnesses.

Kennedy has finally earned the chance to room with a REAL black guy in a Nevada prison cell.  Oh joy.

Study: Women With Makeup Make Poor Leaders

Abertay University has troubling news for women who wear makeup.

Women once deemed women with makeup as dominant but now see them as competing for men's attention.  

Men once saw women with makeup as prestigious but now see them as promiscuous.

Participants say the painted lady is flaunting sexuality, weak in character and possessing poor leadership qualities.

Bad news for Estee Lauder and Max Factor.   But possibly better news for man-hating feminists who long ago gave up lip stick, lady-wear and any pretense of femininity.

Parents Waterboard Daughter

Malisa (left) and Dion Stevens, of Aliquippa, PA, allegedly waterboarded their daughter as a form of punishment.

Police report the girl had her hands tied behind her back, rags shoved into her mouth and taped into a chair using packing tape.  Once secured water was poured over her face muffling her screams and stopping her breathing.

The couple told police they got the idea from a movie.

Malisa and Dion plead guilty to a felony count of endangering the welfare of a child and will spend the next seven years on probation.   They may get their daughter back, but only under strict supervision.

 Hopefully the two will limit their movie watching to Disney flicks in the future.

Oakland Coffee Shop Refuses To Serve Cops

Oakland is home to homeless, illegals and left-wingers that protect and defend them...but the city also has a love-hate relationship with their own police force.

Hasta Muerte Coffee, an employee-owned co-op, will not serve any cop: "We have a policy of asking police to leave for the physical and emotional safety of our customers and ourselves."

Recently the Hasta Muerte crew even refused to serve a sergeant in uniform who is also the president of the Latino Police Officers Association of Alameda County.

The Oakland Police Officers Association sent the shop a letter asking to open a dialogue about its policy.  But why bother?  Let's just wish them an armed robbery as a reward, instead.

Sex Frequency Facts

Fastidious sex is synonymous with bliss.  So how often is often enough?

EdenFantasys surveyed 2,000 adults.

The average couple bumps uglies 9 times (69 minutes) each month, or 108 times (60 hours) per annum.

But what about the frenetic and the fallowed?

An astonishing 3% said 30 times a month barely butters the bread.  Yet a grim 12% said they were lucky to release the Kraken even once a month!

Dropping behind?  Get a stopwatch and get busy folks, it's not too late.

Pelosi: Politicians Can Learn From Drag Queens

Nancy Pelosi is the gift that keeps on giving...if you are the GOP. 

When Trump's tax cuts became law Nancy pounced onto the podium to re-expose herself as an incontinent elitist.   She characterized the tax cuts as “crumbs.”  But after being roundly chastised admitted “we are thankful whenever workers get bonuses.” 

Gaffing Nancy rushed next to make an appearance on "RuPaul's Drag Race: All Stars."  The venue seemed to titillate her in an extra special way.   Surrounded by men dressed as women Nancy got giddy and pronounce that politicians could learn a thing or two from drag queens.

The reference is a mystery. 

But we understand where she's sinking into...a dark, confused,  befuddled, infantile, doddering, senescent place pampered people who over-stay their welcome permeate.

State To Tax Online Porn

It took state governments years to nail the sales tax windfall in online shopping.  But that tax potential pales compared to the real 'killer app' online.  Porn.

Rhode Island may be first to crush the carnal cravings of it's residents by charging the voyeurs $20 bucks per peep.

How?

By squeezing online providers.  And if they refuse the offer they can't refuse they too will get spanked with a $500 fine for each piece of content reported and not blocked.

And we all thought government were the good guys, right?

YouTube, Google, Twitter and Facebook Fascism

By now it's clear the monopolistic media giants are engaged in purging conservative content. 

Twitter suspends user for calling Maxine Waters ‘crazy old lying lunatic in a bad wig’

YouTube Terminates Account of Conservative Blog InfoWars.
Facebook Purges Top Conservative Sites
Google Blocks Gun Shopping Searches

So why care?  Because left-wing tech companies purvey power that can and will cripple the freedoms we enjoy in the United States.   Isn't it time they become regulated like television, radio and the mails?

Texas To Build Police Substation On School Campus

The city of Keller and the town of Westlake near Ft Worth Texas were already collaborating on a novel approach to school safety before the Florida school failure took center stage this week.

Westlake Academy is a world-class charter school with a sprawling corporate like campus. And the town of Westlake gets police protection from the city of Keller.

Keller Police Chief Michael Wilson said the now under construction police substation in one of the Westlake Academy buildings will solve the dual problems of providing protection for both students and the town.

Sounds like a solid solution.  Oh wait, Democrats insist on gun-free zones, gun grabbing, arm-waving and posturing..nevermind.

School Shooting Triggers Teacher Gun Training

Sheriff Richard Jones in Buttler Co., Ohio is offering free concealed carry weapons training for the first 50 teachers who sign-up.   

Astonishingly over 250 teachers scrambled to get in within 24 hours so the classes have to be expanded.

Jones says the instruction will train teachers how to respond to armed attackers.  But also reiterated for teachers to carry on a given campus the school board must give permission. 

Arming school staff is the correct solution.  But the pleasant surprise is finding teachers who are actually interested in taking real action.

Democrats, of course are only interested in co-opting these tragedies for political gain.