Shannon decided to get even. She picked up a can of lemon-scented Lysol and started to empty the contents aerosoling a thick mist room-wide. Michael wiping lemon Lysol from his eyes grabbed a bottle of water and started to dump H2O on Shannon.
After the bottle was emptied Michael grabbed his cell phone and bolted for the front door. Once outside, Michael sucking fresh air into his lemon-singed lungs and dialed 911.
The cops took command interrogating each in strict police procedure in order to extract who sprayed what when and at what point did the water and tea enter the picture.
Michael's version has Shannon assaulting him by spraying him in the eyes with Lysol - the farting part not mentioned. Shannon's version has Michael attacking her with a water bottle and a cup of tea - the Lysol part not listed.
The cops, unable to determine criminal conduct made no arrest. Both were admonished to avoid each other while Michael's malicious intestinal forces settled back to 'normal.' The cops confiscated Shannon's remaining supply of Lysol.
Case closed - for now.