Public Teddy Bear Masturbator Arrested

How about a nifty, nutty, numbskull story about a guy that can't keep his willy out of his teddy bear?   Weenie waver stories are not new, but this one has an odd lint filled tawdry tone.

Charles Marshall, 28, got a FOURTH ticket for 'masturbating with a stuffed animal' in an alley near the Elm Street Health Clinic in Cincinnati, Ohio.

Charlie's childhood must have been a zoo.

Charlie's obsession for soiling teddy bears is not inhibited by fines or jail it seems. One judge banned Charlie from public libraries where he frequenting the restroom choking both bear and chicken and being none too bashful about it.

So there is a law against 'public masturbation with a stuffed animal?' Ohio lawmakers must have been seen other perps along the stuffed toy lines to come up with this one.

Charlie's supply of teddy bears seems to be inexhaustible. How about a restraining order keeping him out of Toys-R-Us?  Charlie might get worse and attack a real bear in a public zoo - oh oh, that would be bad.

Cops Taser A Nude 80-Year-Old Woman On Porch
Michigan Lawmaker Banned For Saying 'vagina'
Homeless 'welded' Out Of Restrooms  
How To Spot A Masturbator