Obama MD: Hillary's Neurological Exam

Dr. David Scheiner says Hillary Clinton needs her head examined to prove she's fit to be POTUS.

Dr. Scheiner examined the chain-smoking Obama back in 2008 and declared his fitness for the office.

Dr. Scheiner says a complete neurological exam from an independent medical resource and the results submitted to an independent medical review should do the trick.

The retired MD says he'll be voting for Hillary provided she is fit to serve.

Vladimir Putin Arrested

West Palm Beach, Fl cops got a call a man was screaming at employees in a downtown Publix supermarket.

Managers confronted Vladimir Putin, a huge guy with a goatee, not the leader of Russia and demanded he exit the premises, but he refused.

Vladimir told the cops he was upset because he missed his ride. 

Putin now faces a charge of resisting/obstructing officer without violence.

Hillary & Mother Teresa

Bill and Hillary Clinton had a BIG problem with Mother Teresa.

In a 1997 prayer breakfast with Bill and Hillary hosting Mother Teresa railed against abortion, calling it the “greatest destroyer of peace today,” a “war against the child,” and “murder by the mother herself.”

The room erupted in a standing ovation.  But at the head table, a few feet from Mother Teresa, the Clintons and the Gores sat in stony silence, not standing, not clapping, tight-fisted and pissed.

Mother Teresa was not raising the issue accidentally, just a year earlier, on the first day of Bill's presidency, Hillary demanded Bill sign five executive orders authorizing federal funding for abortion.

Next Sunday Pope Francis will declare Mother Teresa a saint.  And twenty-years later Hillary remains an evil turd eager to kill millions more unborn kids, but then who are we to judge, right

Ohio "Gorilla Man" Busted

The morning started quietly at the Warren City, OH DMV.  But things went sideways fast after Timothy Cook, 32, showed up.

Soon after entering the building Cook started waving his arms wildly, “growling and punching the cement.”  Then Cook ran outside and  “began masturbating on the sidewalk,” according to a police report.

When the cops tried to capture the masturbater, he was sweating profusely and "acting like a gorilla...squatting on all fours, punching the blacktop and jumping up and down screaming incoherently.”

Paramedics treated the maniac for an apparent overdose of an unknown substance.

Cook has prior arrests for drug possession, theft, burglary, criminal trespass, breaking and entering, domestic violence, possession of drug paraphernalia, and carrying a concealed weapon.

Now Cook gets to explain the masturbating gorilla act to other inmates...should be a hoot.

Dildo Defender

On August 1st the University of Texas' allowed conceal and carry firearms.

Pissed off students say guns are allowed but sexual aids are not so they organized a “Cocks Not Glocks: Campus (Dildo) Carry.” protest. The sex-crazed students say, “we are strapping [4,500] gigantic swinging dildos to our backpacks in protest of campus carry.”

In opposition to the opposition a counter-protest was organized. A "Clocks Not Cocks" campaign insists, “One of the most important aspects of college life is being punctual for class.”

Which group will do better against a terrorist or serial shooter?  Guess... 

Record Women In Jail

Since 1970, the number of women in US jails is up by an astonishing 1,400%.

About 15% of the total jail population in the USA are female.  The bulk of those are Hispanic and Black.

A grim 80% of these women have dependent kids.  And some 86% have been victims of sexual violence.

Horrifically a third of these women are schizophrenia, bipolar or clinically depressed.

So not only are minority kids stuck with single moms on welfare, but many will see 'mom' end up in jail, fined and worse.

"Killing White People Not Hate Crime"

Jamilah Lemieux is a black supremacist and editor over at Ebony magazine.  

Just after the five "white" cops were targeted and killed in Dallas Jamilah insisted there was no "hate crime" because the shooter was black - and blacks can't be racist.

“When we use a phrase like ‘hate crime,’ we’re typically referring to crimes against people of color... To now extend that to... either police officers or to Caucasians, I think gets into very tricky territory.”

Well here's a clue for you toadie.  When a mass killer targets victims based on being "white cops" then it's a race-based hate crime...understand?

House Hillary Perjury

Remember Hillary's sworn testimony before the House Select Committee on Benghazi and lying about her emails?

In the non-bizarro world that's called perjury and the GOP is bringing the FBI back to get a new ball rolling in Hillary's direction for the felony.  That's right, under Federal law perjury is a felony requiring a prison sentence of up to five years.

“The evidence collected by the [FBI] during its investigation of Secretary Clinton’s use of a personal email system during her time as secretary of State appears to directly contradict several aspects of her sworn testimony,” the Committee told U.S. Attorney Channing Phillips.

Hillary said no classified information was sent and received.  But FBI Comey admitted a total of 113 emails had classified information.  The rotund maven also testified all work-related emails were given to the State Department but it's now known she deleted over 30,000 such messages.

The usual suspects are laughing at the prospect of nailing Hillary for perjury of course.   Despite a preponderance of evidence in support of the charge.

Toddler Named 'Idiot'

Arkansas gave us Bill and Hillary Clinton and the nasty pair, left.

Hot Springs cops entered the 'home' of Jennifer Denen and her live in boyfriend Clarence Reed. There they found six abused kids.

One was a four-year-old girl with bruises, a black eye, cuts, scars across her back, and rope burns around her wrists and feet. The little girl was so broken when asked her name she replied, "idiot."

Denen said Reed beat the little girl with a plastic baseball bat.  Reed insisted repeatedly terrorizing and calling the little girl "idiot" was just a joke.

The kids now live with their 'natural' father and the little girl is in the hospital.  Denen and Reed are in jail with a $500,000 bail awaiting a trial and a ticket to hell.

NASA: 99.9% LA Quake

NASA JPL says there's a 99.9% certainty the 'big one' slams Los Angeles between now and the end of 2017.

JPL geophysicist Dr Andrea Donnellan says, “There’s enough energy stored to produce about a magnitude 6.1 to 6.3 earthquake.”

A quake that big with an epicenter near downtown LA will destroy most of the city.

But Robert Graves, a US Geological Survey (USGL) seismologist says not so fast.

Graves insists, “The 99.9% number – I don’t know the method that was used to derive that. But basically, that's saying that’s going to happen...and that level of certainty, to my knowledge, is just not attainable. We can never be that certain.”

Well, Graves isn't disputing the possibility of the quake he's just peeing on predicting when....

Monkey Mayhem

Attention Walmart shoppers!  

An employee was retrieving shopping carts when a diaper-wearing monkey sitting on top of the cart return grabbed him by a sleeve.

A woman quickly ran up and yelled, “Let him go, let him go, let him go! If he bites you, they will put him down.”  

A 911 caller claimed the employee had been bitten, but as the video shows, he was unmolested.

The Lancaster Dept of Agriculture is hot to see if the monkey's been registered in Ohio.

Apparently blacks in Milwaukee can set fire to your car without arrest.  But don't let a diaper clad monkey touch your sleeve.  That's real trouble.

Porn Panic

The online growth of pernicious porn is making men friendless without benefits.

Trouble with the deep-V-diver was first detailed in a BBC documentary; 'Brought up on Porn'.

A 2014 study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine noted one in four erectile dysfunction patients were under 40.

Now a 2016 study in Behavioral Sciences Journal claims online porn looks just like drug addiction.

'The potential health risks of internet pornography are not as well understood...and is widely portrayed as both ordinary behavior and socially acceptable.'

Cat Owner Crazies

Though pet owners tend to be happier; single women with cats should be shunned.  

Studies consistently show dog owners are more extroverted, confident, agreeable, assertive, and have high self-esteem and self-sufficiency.  Cat owners by contrast are more neurotic, submissive, thin-skinned, self-pitying, defensive, needy, fearful and emotionally unstable.

A new Facebook study produced eerily similar results.

Facebook dog owners were likely to be fans of happier books, smart TV shows like Big Bang Theory, action/comedy films and movies about dogs.  And Facebook cat owners were likely to be fans of  horror films, anime, cartoons. crime shows like COPS and LGBTQ themed movies.

The takeaway?  You are what your pet is....

Whites Need Not Apply

Blacks and Hispanics don't wanna live with a white college roommate.

Pitzer College student Karé Ureña's Facebook post demands only "non-white" students can apply to live with her and two other "non-white" students in an off-campus house.   Ms Ureña says “POC [people of color] only” will be considered for this living opportunity. “I don’t want to live with any white folks.”

AJ León, a Latino Student Union member says, “People of color are allowed to create safe POC only spaces. It is not reverse racism or discriminatory, it is self preservation [sic].”

Negro Student Union member, Jessica Saint-Fleur adds, “White people have cause [sic] so much mf [sic] trauma on these campuses … why in the world would I want to live with that? Bring that into my home? A place that is supposed to be safe for me?”

Well here is a hot fact flash safe-space folks.  Desegregation was forced on whites...so if you turds want to re-segregate, great!  And while we're at it let's get rid of affirmative action, quotas and set-asides...that way Karé, AJ, and Ms Saint-Fleur can go back to their hoods and safe-space all they can eat.

Trump Death Threats

This week in Bloomfield, NJ, the cops said a man was beaten with a crowbar for wearing a Donald Trump shirt.

Trump warned Hillary wants to “essentially abolish the Second Amendment.”  And that “if she gets to pick her judges, nothing you can do, folks, although, the Second Amendment people, maybe there is. I don’t know..."

The left-wing media mangled the meaning insisting the Second Amendment comment was a threat to Hillary.  Which is absurd.  He obviously meant gun owners can stop Hillary's gun grabbing at the polls as a voting block. 

The hot-heads in the liberal media are wearing out the cry wolf tactic.  But the rhetoric is so un-hinged that some now fear lathered up lunatics on the left will make an attempt on the Donald's life.

Malia Obama Bogarting A Blunt

Just a week after hanging her twerking ass out at Lollapalooza Malia Obama was caught on camera bogarting a blunt.

Malia's wasting no time diving headfirst into the sex, drugs and rock-n-roll realm every President's kid never did...

But not to worry folks because back in '09 Obama assured the nation that if his daughters were to get pregnant by "mistake" he didn't want them "punished with a baby!"

So go for it Malia...dad's got your back.

Hillary Doddering Dowager

Hillary is unable to climb stairs without help.    The obese maven is frail, falling and failing.

The photo left was taken by Reuters and Getty photo services during the primaries.  The full extent of Hillary's inability to motor around by herself is not being shared with the public.

Hillary is 68 after all, but despite the million buck makeovers, army's of handlers and clown-like clothes it's pretty obvious the old woman doesn't know her limitations.

1. In mid-2009, Hillary fell and fractured her right elbow walking to her car at the State Dept.
2. The Clinton campaign wanted to make Bernie's age an issue, but Hillary's campaign chairman John Podesta cut that off spinning, "We're fighting on who would make a better president, not on who has a better Physical Fitness Test."
3. In 2012, Hillary "sustained a concussion after fainting," days before her testimony on Benghazi.
4. In December 2012 Hillary was hospitalized, "Mrs. Clinton’s blood clot formed in a large vein along the side of her head, behind her right ear, between the brain and the skull."  Hillary is said to be on Coumadin, blood thinners for the rest of her life.
5. Hillary has been wearing special glasses to deal with dizziness and suffers from continued coughing fits some say are related to damage to her brain. 
6. Hillary has an unspecified thyroid condition requiring her to take daily doses of Armour Thyroid, a thyroid hormone replacement, antihistamines, and vitamin B12 shots.

A president who can fall and not get up should certainly not be a president at all, right folks?

CA Corporate Exodus

Since 2008 over 10,000 companies exited California.

The anti-business climate began in Jerry Brown's first two chaotic terms between 1975 and 1983.  Laughably, Brown tried to stop them with “California Means Business” buttons.

The GOP "Contract With America" capital gains tax cut tech boom slowed the bleed a bit.

But then the Democrat Party subprime crash and Great Recession brought back Brown in 2009.  Brown's horrendous regs and tax hikes are making an even greater mass exodus to Texas and Nevada.

How are they doing?   These companies are getting an “astonishing” operating cost savings of 20 to 35%.

UN Meat Tax

Get the feeling someone's after your burgers and bacon? 

A new report from the UN’s International Research Panel (IRP) wants to levy massive tax hikes at the wholesale level to deter meat consumption.


Because Maarten Hajer of Utrecht University, lead author of the report says, “All of the harmful effects on the environment and on health [comes from livestock]...”  At least that's what the radicals at the UN conclude...once again without evidence.

The wholesale tax is meant to put meat out of the reach of ordinary people without them knowing why...   After all, ordinary people aren't able to make their own decisions, especially when it comes to food and climate choices.

Cheese Sandwich Rage

Jobless, 6-2, 180lbs James De Paola, 55, attacked his wife Michelle because she was “using three slices of cheese in a grilled cheese sandwich, [after he said she] could make a grilled cheese sandwich with two pieces of cheese...” 

Once the cheesy cuisine was handed to De Paola the hothead threw the fare on the floor (rather than scrape half off) and started yelling and spitting in his wife's face.

Michelle told their nine-year-old girl to dial 911 but De Paola yanked the phone out of the wall.  The quick thinking girl ran outside and made the call on her mom's cell phone.

De Paola was charge with obstruction of a 911 call, criminal trespass/damage to property, and domestic violence.  Wonder if Jimmie likes jell-o-cups and cold baloney sandwiches?  That's jail food.