Ink Pen Cutlery Keeps You At Your Desk

Desk jockey's just got another reason to keep their fat-asses planted in front of their desks.  Having to get up and go to lunch  has always been too much work - and so the mother of invention is stepping in to do something about it.

Pen toppers that turn pens into forks, knives and spoons have arrived. The desk cutlery set comes from the Fred and Friends store on Amazon. You don't even have to leave your desk to order the $8.49 set online, in fact you don't even have to Google the link - here it is.

The makers motto? 'Our Dine Ink Utensil Set is pencap cutlery for the cubicle captive.'

Did you hear that? You're a cubicle captive, a chair-bound chump, a toadie too lazy to get up and get yourself a plastic spoon from the snack room.

Customers are happy to report the little toppers are sturdy enough to pickup even the most dense dollops of droppings dragged to work.  Some even asked for a CPR attachment for when their heart attack comes.

You do know you still have to get up and go to the snack room anyway, right? Well, ya gonna lick 'em clean?

Obamacare Kills Healthcare Plans In Ten States

In 2010 Barry Obama gave a grand speech promising that, 'If you like your healtcare plan, you can keep your healthcare plan!'

Well, it's BO-Day tomorrow and shockingly we find that BO lied.

 If you live in California, Maryland, Missouri, Connecticut, South Carolina, New York, New Jersey, Iowa, Wisconsin, or Georgia you just lost your healtcare plan.

Thirty-eight stupid states and DC signed up, but many are unable to open on time.

Those dumb enough to play the game are about to take a a big stinky bite from the most dysfunctional pile of poopoo to ever come out of the asses in Washington, DC.

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Scrotum Handbag Hits High Fashion

Once a week the Angle brings you a 'solution looking for a problem' story.  This week it's the Scrotal Handbag by fashion designer Andy Bates.

At first blush it's obvious these gonadie goodies stun the senses with the striking look and feel of high quality and funky fun.  Then you look closer.

The hand-made hand-bags make no pretense about what they are - giant scrotum cases with a leather strap and bell on one side mimicking a penis.

The ball-busting bags also sport a knotted protruding hole on the reverse side which has no apparent purpose other than to mimic the other portal in the male anatomy.

The guy behind the aberration is just as you might expect. Meet customer Grayson Perry, a cross-dressing English artist with a large collection of ceramic vases depicting child abuse and sado-masochism. You listening Scotland Yard?

So the 'purse' is for a gargoyle of a guy. A dude whose destiny is an eventual home filled with fiery fun and full of fashion befitting a man who obviously lost his way a long, long time ago.

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Skin Cancer Cure Discovered

A full cure for the most deadly and common cancers -  skin?  Yes.

Even in early trials 1 in 6 patients are already being cured by the drugs. The treatment holds the possibility of more than half being saved in the near future.

The breakthrough comes from mixing two different drugs formerly used with limited results but together produce a much higher and more pronounced full-tilt 'cure.'

Ipilimumab – or ‘ipi’ has had a 17% cure rate. By combining Ipilimumab with drugs called anti-PD1s the 50% plus cure rate is suddenly achieved.

Prof Eggermont of Institut Gustave Roussy in France says the new immunotherapy drugs will also be adopted ‘across the board’ to successfully treat a wide range of other advanced ‘solid tumor’ cancers like those found in lungs and kidneys.

Eggermont notes: ‘These drugs are going to help a large number of people. It’s a massive deal. Reports from trials with patients who have advanced kidney and lung cancer are very exciting.’

Pretty cool huh? Now all that needs to be done is get the FDA out of the way.

Benghazi Coverup Linked To Al Qaeda

The Benghazi coverup is eventually going to explode like a money shot in a porn film all over the faces of Hillary Clinton, the State Department and ultimately Obama himself.

Is there more than just an inconvenient dead ambassador and a few heroes who stayed behind to try and protect the guy?
Maybe.

William Robert “Tosh” Plumlee is a former CIA gun runner who revealed last week that the U.S. Ambassador to Libya, J. Christopher Stevens, was killed in the Sept. 11, 2012 attack on the U.S. consulate in Benghazi in order to cover up the U.S. State Department’s direct arms shipments to al-Qaeda.

According to Plumlee, Steven was ordered to stand down after he asked the State Dept. what he should do about the American arm shipments to al-Qaeda.

These revelations suggest that quickly after Stevens told the State Dept. about his discovery he was coincidentally killed in the attack on the U.S. consulate in Benghazi.  The event was designed to take out witnesses to the arms transfer and to suppress Stevens’s reports.  Which have indeed, gone missing.

The Obama administration tried to blame the attack on videos and random terror attacks, but we have since learned the attacks were well planned and coordinated  And forces nearby were ordered to stand-down rather than come the the Ambassadors aid.

Something stinks like a dead cat pressed into a wheel well folks. If true, this would mean Obama and Hillary and a lot of other people will ultimately be going to jail.

Woman Says Traffic Barriers Look Like Penises

In the 'some people aren't getting enough' department we find a woman in a town commission meeting insisting new bollards placed to protect bus stops look too much like a row of penises and wants them removed.

“When you really look at all four close together, they look like male body parts, which I don’t think is appropriate,” says Glendale resident Pat Martin. Hey Pat, check out the new Chinese People's Daily HQ left if you really wanna get an erection-reaction.

Commissioners Eileen Meyers and Pat Caruso disagree with Pat.

“We looked through and found something that we thought was pleasing to the eye, but apparently to one person it was not,” Commissioner Meyers says.

To replace, to cover, or leave alone?

Public Services Director Randy Lubin asks, “What’s to say the next replacement isn’t going to offend somebody else?”

Looks like Pat's just gonna have to move or find a hobby. One that doesn't involve working with cylindrical objects.

Vatican Official Wants Pelosi Denied Communion

Is there a 'come to Jesus' day down the road to Perdition for the hypocrite Nancy Pelosi? 

Cardinal Raymond Leo Burke said Nancy Pelosi should be denied communion because her support of abortion is in conflict with her professed Catholic faith.

Burke serves as the prefect of the Supreme Tribunal of the Apostolic Signatura, which is the Vatican’s highest judicial authority.

The Cardinal took special umbrage with Pelosi's refusal to comment on abortionist and murderer Kermit Gosnell. Recall, Nancy deflected offering an opinion by hiding behind her church when she said, “as a practicing and respectful Catholic, this is sacred ground [for her].' Whatever that's supposed to mean.

Cardinal Burke says of Pelosi, “This is a person who obstinately, after repeated admonitions, persists in a grave sin — cooperating with the crime of procured abortion.”

Seems like some in the Catholic church are starting to grow a pair - but it's just kicking the dirt unless something actually happens, right folks?

Outrage: Obama Blowing $300 Million On Detroit

The corruption just keeps on truck'n in the Obama regime.

Today, Obama said he's gonna hand $300 million to shit-hole Detroit.  This is the town that's had 50 years of Democrat led decline and a string of felons who've utterly destroyed the city once the capital of US manufacturing might.

If ever there's a place in this country that should be left to rot -  it's Detroit.  From Kwame Kilpatric to Monica Conyers the city is thick with corruption and now thanks to Putin's new houseboy,  they're gonna get rewarded for it.

Recall Obama shutting down Whitehouse tours to kids nationwide?  Where's the cash for this crap? Oh yea, there's always a few hundred million laying around to hand to the irrestponsible, incompetent, and decrepit assholes in Detroit (and next Chicago, Oakland, Philadephia, and Harlem).

How's your outrage this morning?  Had enough yet?

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Pit Bull Owners Stripped Of House Insurance

Pit bulls were created to entertain ghoulish spectators who wagered on British dog fights. 

All pit bulls are crosses between bulldogs and terriers, but because there's no specific 'breed' the identification and eradication of these dogs remains problematic.

There are about 3 million pit bulls in the U.S., approximately 3% of the total dog population.  A 5-year (2001–05) study of dog attack victims recorded pit bull terriers implicated in more than half of emergency room admitted dog bites. Of the 269 patients identified 137 (51%) were attacked by pit bulls.

Dog owners in the US are considered strictly liable for all damage caused by their dog. Landlords may also be held liable if they know an aggressive dog is living on their property and they do nothing to ensure the safety of other tenants.

Brad Reinke of Muncie, Indiana opened a letter last month from his insurance agent.  The letter told him he had seven months to find a new home for his pit bulls or lose his home insurance.

'Due to a potential liability hazard, the aggressive dog should be removed from the premises,' the letter from Shelter Insurance Companies read. 'No aggressive dog or aggressive breed of dog should replace this dog.'

State Farm alone had 3,670 dog bite claims nationally last year and paid more than $108 million as a result.

Strangely the Reinke's are upset.  Guess they don't believe it.

Internet Addiction Damages Brain

Addictions include sex, drugs, food, hobbies, shopping, gambling, and now the Internet.

Till now, the Internet has seemed more like the 'next big thing', and it has been. But it appears ANY single activity done to excess is both an obsession and an addiction according to therapists..

Internet addiction disrupts nerve wiring in the brains of teenagers, a study in China has found - causing similar brain damage seen in drug users. The addiction has been verified by MRI scans.

Warning signs of addiction include extraordinary amounts of time “online” to the point of disrupting a healthy balance of other activities in life. Addicted users denied access to computers show withdrawal symptoms including tremors, obsessive thoughts, irritability, anti-social mood swings, and involuntary typing movements of the fingers.

Great. Just great. Computer abused, obese, dope-smoking, online game-playing, hold-em players, buying all kinds of crap on Amazon while cruising porn, facebooking, and twittering creating a whole new generation of wiped out humans.

A brave new world just can't seem to get rolling.  Add another twelve step program to the pile - Web Addicts Anonymous.  Sitting here writing this I am freaking out now, am I an addict?  Are you hooked for reading this online?

Bernanke's 'Hidden' Agenda Behind Money Printing

Peter J. Tanous found the hidden angle behind Bernanke's incessant and dangerous bond buying policy euphemistically nicknamed Quantitative Easing.

The current level of the national debt exceeds the entire debt accrued by all prior presidents up to Obama.  And it's headed toward a terrorizing $20 trillion by the time Obama takes his last dump in the Oval Office potty-room in 2016.

The Fed's been printing money to buy Obama's debt still growing at a trillion buck a year clip. By printing money and buying the debt the Fed keeps the debt service interest rate at historical lows of around 2.4%. 

Tanous says, 'Do the math: If we were to pay an average interest rate on our debt of 5.7% [normal level], rather than the 2.4% we pay today, in 2020 our debt service cost will be about $930 billion.' Compare that to the total tax revenues the IRS collects from we the people; $1.1 trillion.  By 2020 the entire budget will be pure debt spending!

And what about the drunken money printing party?  Inflation, baby.  When this bubble pops the currency may well collapse or become nearly worthless.  Feel better now?

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Women's Equal Pay 45 Years Away

After a hundred years of suffrage, demand for equal rights, and sexual liberation women will still not get paid the same as men for another half century says the US Census Bureau.

As it stands today, women take home 77 cents for every buck men earned last year. In 1960 women took home 66 cents for every buck the men garnered.

The Institute for Women's Policy research (IWPR) predicts the gender wage gap won't close until most of today's employed women are retired - and really there is nothing to indicate the gap will ever close.

Heidi Hartmann, president of IWPR says the wage gap has gotten worse since her organization began gathering statistics.

Given Obama's long and deep recession women have gotten more jobs than men because they're paid less, ironically. But most of those jobs are low quality and dead-end.

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Mother Uses Baseball Bat To Kill Homeless Guy

Forsythia Owen, 30, confessed to killing Denzle Rainey in an alley near her home.  The enraged woman claims Denzle had molested her four-year-old daughter.

Hunting him down and weilding a baseball bat Forsythia cracked Denzle's skull and broke his ribs. One of the shattered ribs punchered his liver.

Owens faces first-degree murder charges.

The child molestation accusation is being investigated but it's worth noting Forsythia had been arrested previously for assault.  Rainey, 42, had left his wife and kids due to drinking and found himself on the streets.

Was Forsythia justifiably outrage or is she just a plain vanilla crazed vigilante? Wonder how the anti-gun goons will twist this one to fit their agenda...

Man With Purple Skin Dies Of Stroke

Paul Karason, 62, died Monday after suffering a heart attack which became pneumonia and then a severe stroke. In short, he blew up not long after turning himself blue.

Karason did a video a few years ago and went viral. The goof turned his skin blue after smearing a silver compound on his face for ten years. The self-diagnosed-prescribed-administered 'medication' was intended to treat a bad case of dermatitis.

When the silver compound started to turn his skin a ghoulish blue-tone he tried to counteract that by dumping high doses of colloidal silver, which is a suspension of silver in a liquid base up his butt.

Despite the amateur effort to act as his own dermatologist and proctologist (butt doctor) he ended up looking like an eggplant with gray hair.

Little kids called him 'papa smurf' a moniker he despised.  So after his brief Internet celebrity he sank back into a life of obscurity away from the public eye until he resurfaced with his heart attack and subsequent demise this week.

Runner Charged Using Fake Penis In Drug Test

The Whizzinator's back - the Angle first told you about the fake penis filled with 'pure urine' to be used to beat drug tests back in May 2012.

Italian distance runner Devis Licciardi, 27, had just finished a 10km race at Molfetta when officials steered him into the tent to take a urine test.

Licciardi insisted he be left alone during the test but anti-doping laws required a physician be present.

The numbskull already had the fake dick in his running shorts ready to go. When Devis tried to unleash the golden shower into a bottle the doctor saw immediately something was up - and it wasn't a post race erection.

Licciardi's a member of the Italian air force team. But now he faces a possible two year suspension and ejection from the team.

One Whizzinator customer sounds pretty pleased,  'I absolutely love the wizinator touch. I passed my drug test with ease and the person giving the test watched me pee!!!'  Note the stoner's spelling, 'wizinator?'

Need we say more?

Whizzinator Fake Penis Fools Drug Tests

Convicted 34-year-old drug offender Sydney Levin thought he could beat the urinal.  Sydney must regularly pee in a cup under a court ordered verification of his promise to behave.  Really all drug offenders on probation or parole are under this same lab testing gun.

But Sydney didn't want to behave.  Sydney wanted to get high and get away with it.  Google provided a possible answer.  Since pee was a problem why not bring a pinch hitter?

Meet the Whizzinator Touch.  The website peddles what it calls 'very quiet, fast acting, warm synthetic urine instantly.'  Now that's a branding slogan you won't see at Walmart.

The whizzes at Whizzinator provide a prosthetic penis (in all race colors) able to spurt a pungent liquiform more pure than baby tinkle.

So Sydney ordered one and glided confidently into the testing room ready to release.

But hold on.  Sydney didn't count on a cop who, for some reason, sat intently staring directly at him as he pulled the tool from the toolchest.  Just before Sydney could press the Whizinator into the cup the cop leapt into action.

Sydney's criminal record of possession of a controlled substance and felony stealing has been padded with a new charge. Felony possession of a forging instrument accompanied by a fat $25,000 bail fee.  Sydney can't tell anyone in the 'joint' what he's in for this time.  Bubba may take his Whizzinator from him and paint the walls with it.

75 Million Victims Of Domestic Violence

Government statistics show about 25% of the US population has been a victim of domestic violence.

So the ‘No More’ survey conducted by the Avon Foundation for Women sampled over 1000 adults to see for themselves.

Over 30% of the women said they had been a victim of domestic violence.  And about 15% of men are victims.

An astounding 80% of those surveyed said they knew of someone who was abused. Yet, 70% of the group said they never discuss domestic violence with friends or relatives.

The stigma and fear victims face keeps them trapped in a cycle of violence.  The government estimates that about 50% of domestic violent crime is reported or discovered by authorities.  That leaves a lot of people suffering and in danger.

The answer is obvious.  If you are a woman, you better prepare for the worst.  Your chances of being a victim of abuse is 50/50 - so what do you do?   Both men and women should learn what domestic abuse is, and how to escape the scourge should it come.  Then be ready to defend yourself should an escape not be possible.

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Disney Bans Line Skipping For Disabled

A while back the Angle did a story on the scam wealthy Manhattan moms were running at Disney World.  The wonton women hire wheelchair bound people to act as 'park guides' so their kids can skip long lines to get into attractions.

The same pompous practice is being perpetrated by LA mothers going to Disneyland in Anaheim..

So now Disney has had to yank the line skipping privilege for every one now, even bone-fide disabled people who really do need the help. Like Hugh Hefner and his child-bride, left.

Families of children with autism and epilepsy are properly pissed.

Disneyland-goer Rebecca Goddard says her sons, age 4 and 6, have autism so when standing in one place for too long they become aggressive, fussy, even a little loud.

'My boys don't have the cognition to understand why it's going to be a long wait, there are so few things for my boys that bring them utter joy and happiness - to mess with it just makes me sad,' Rebecca laments.

Well, Becky can thank the selfish, narcissistic ass-hats that think their healthy kids are just too special to wait in line. After all why should someone bound to a wheelchair get in first, right?

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Pedophile Brains Detected Using MRI

Walking among us are real life monsters. Sick adults targeting kids in order to commit unspeakable, evil acts of cowardice.

Child molesters gravitate to where kids are most concentrated.  They join the teacher ranks in schools, they become members of the priesthood, or volunteer as boy and girl scoutmasters.

Science is trying to catch up.

Abnormalities have been detected in pedophiles’ brains using an MRI scan. Irregularities in the frontal lobe blocking a pedophile's ability to perceive the difference between a kid and another adult has been found.   Pedophile's generally also have lower IQs and are often left-handed.

Experts theorize stressed mothers damage them in the womb.

Wouldn't it be prudent then to require MRIs of anyone who will be working around kids?

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iPhone Doubles As Stun Gun

Has the iPhone just become a lethal weapon? 

Yellow Jacket Case is first to market with a 650k volt stun gun iPhone case.  According to Yellow Jacket the iPhone so equipped 'is capable of halting an aggressive adult male.' 

The obvious question: how to handle the 'ass press' phenomenon.  Many women and some men shove their iPhone into a tight-panted rear pocket. A potential future shocker.

The mother of the invention is Seth Froom who came up with the idea after he was robbed in his home last year by an armed assailant.  'My story is one of triumph and not tragedy,' Seth opines.

Oh, and you can get the almost one million volt stunner in black, white, gold and pink!  Good news for iPhone users everywhere except New York, New Jersey, Illinois, Massachusetts, Michigan, Rhode Island, Wisconsin and Washington, D.C.

Those 'progressive' states don't allow residence to use a stun gun to protect themselves from 'aggressive adult males.'

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Israel Saving Sand Cats From Extinction

Four rare sand cats (Felis margarita), native yet extinct in Israel, were born in a zoo in Ramat Gan Safari near Tel Aviv last year.

Israel borrowed the two remaining sand cats from Germany and Poland to create the litter. Ironic considering Germany and Poland were the two countries where millions of jews were murdered in an attempt to make them extinct.

These cats are the only breed adapted to desert life.  The burrowing felines have extra large ears to 'hear' their prey underground.

The cats are prone to respiratory problems and are too timid to have one running around the house. Which is probably why they're in danger of extinction.

In Israel ven di kats shloft, tantsen di meiz.

Tattoo Cancer Risk Rises

Wanna bet the ink freaks skip over this news? 

Like ciggie smokers, most people ignore health warning because they're sure it 'won't  happen to them.'  Then when they get sick they rush to get treatment paid for by the taxpayers.

Bradford University experts discovered ink nanoparticles enter the bloodstream and accumulate in the spleen and kidneys, blocking the ability to filter impurities.  The university says red ink contains mercury,  greens and blues contain cobalt.

Copenhagen University found carcinogenic chemicals in 13 of 21 commonly used European tattoo inks.

The US FDA found inks contained heavy metals and hyrocarbons that are known carcinogens. One in black ink called benzo(a)pyrene is known to be a potent carcinogen that causes skin cancer.

About 25% of adults under age 40 have at least one tattoo.  Piercings implausibly get a pass.

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Journalism Professor Tweets NRA Death Wish

The Navy Yard shooting gave liberals yet another chance to prove to the country what reactionary, blathering, uninformed, emotionally driven wrecks they are and why noone should trust them.

Before the first facts were known, they're duplicitous media proclaimed that an AR-15 was used.  And that the NRA was to blame..

The black shooter at the Navy Yard turned out to be a psychotic, isolated loner, hearing voices, obsessed with violent video games, and armed with a shotgun. 

Was he a member of the NRA?  No. He was a trusted civilian with security clearances and an Obama voter!

But David Guth, who teaches journalism at Kansas University decided to open his laptop and and take a poop all over his Twitter account before ferreting out the facts.



The little Twitter bomb stuck Guth's fat ass in a chair at home this week - suspended from his job.

Goonie Guth is a poster knucklehead for all the gun control weenies out there who are desperate to leave innocent civilians defenseless against armed guys like the Navy shooter.

Majority Of Americans Say The Devil Is Real

YouGov researchers say 57% of all Americans believe the devil exists.

Some 72% of Christians think evil is an active and dangerous reality in the modern world. Among those, the majority of Hispanics, Blacks and Women dominate the 'yes' answer.

Interestingly, Jews reject the idea of a sentient Satan. Though arguably, Jews have been victimized by more evil than any other single group in human history.

So what?

Well, it could explain why so many American voters have allowed the dysfunctional Democrats to gain and hold power.  After all, the Democrats work for Satan, right?

Just a thought.

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Guy Crafts Human Skull From Cocaine

The weekends are good for at least one 'who's kidding who' story.  Today's comes from the Netherlands where cannabis, heroin, cocaine, amphetamines and other synthetic drugs are trafficked and distributed to Europe.

A Dutch dude who goes by the name 'Diddo' says he was 'paid' to make a human skull out of cocaine. But Diddo says he can't say who paid him, who bought the coke, and where the ghoulish prize is now.

Diddo had the coke tested in a lab for some goofy reason. He brags that the crap was 20% pure and cut with caffeine, paracetamol and sugar. Oh wow, really? Yawn.

Diddo insists he didn't lick, rub, insert or snort any of the stuff while sculpting the skull. So other than the cash why'd he do it?

Dildo says 'I don't want to over-intellectualize, but it's the fusion of two icons (skull and cocaine) that provokes thought and discussion on the nature of man.'  Oh yea, deep - lots of existential juxtaposition and categorical paradoxy behind a coke skull - sure, sure Dildo.

Horse-shit, folks!  Dildo the dipstick got high, in fact, he's prolly snorting one of the eye sockets right now...

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Pregnant Weightlifter Mom Draws Fire

There's an online cat fight raging today on Facebook.  Seems some object to nine-month pregnant, Los Angeles weightlifter Lea-Anne Ellison, 35, doing a workout just before giving birth.

'This is actually sickening,' commented Amanda Cinq-Mars. 'I hope pregnant [women] around the world do not do this kind of crap.'

After getting a lot of heat posting her feats of strength the heroic woman offered this simple response: 'Haters will hate and it's ok. My life is not their life thank goodness! Lol! Again, thank you! It means so much to feel this much love from a community I adore.'

So, is Ellison 'selfish' for exercising in this way so late in her pregnancy? No. In fact, she is a great example of strength, courage, and intelligence. The more fit a woman is before giving birth, the less complicated the birth will go.  And the kid in the womb benefits too.  These are medical facts.

Women who allow themselves to become fat, slow, and sick while pregnant are not looking out for themselves or their unborn kid. Also medical fact.

And for those malcontents zapping Lea-Anne who also defend or have had an abortion, may your ignorance and hypocrisy return to haunt you before the end of your tiny life - hear that Amanda?

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Purse Snatcher Bites Good Samaritan

Mikayla Hull rode her bike up to 75-year-old Evelyn Searl while she sat at an outdoor cafe eating lunch with her daughter in order to snatch her purse.  Evelyn ran after the purse snatcher, tripped and fell slamming her face on the sidewalk. 

Three men grabbed Hull and pinned her to the pavement while waiting for the cops to arrive.  At first Hull said she 'didn't do it' but then blurted that the victim was a 'rich' woman and could afford the theft.  There's that Obama entitlement thing again...

Hull demanded she be allowed to get up, but the men kept her down.  After a few minutes and unable to pull her arms free, Hull bites lawyer Jonathan Damon whose straddling her.  He reacts by punching her in the face.

Hull yells 'assault.'  But the video shows Hull bitting Damon first. The cops say Damon was defending himself but charged Hull with with larceny and aggravated assault.

The video is viral today.  The comments slam Damon for punching Hull.  Seems Hull gets a pass for causing an elderly woman to take a face plant on a sidewalk.

You be the judge.

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Whacky Wrinkle Remover Scares Kids

Vanity is pride; one of the seven deadly sins.

So what's wrong with a little self-love and an unwillingness to accept the ravages of time?  Well, narcissism leads to arrogance and loathing of others.  And the stubborn pursuit of youth, as the story of Dorian Gray illustrates, leads to debauchery and death.

Ah, but all that bible mumbo-jumbo and fiction written by Oscar Wilde have no relevance today, right?

The 'Face Slimmer Exercise Mouthpiece' comes from Japan. To get one, peel off $75 bucks and lock the bathroom door. You're trying to get rid of wrinkles, not scare the beegeezus out of the kids.

Place the pink plastic lips into your mouth and bulge your eyes like a zombie for two weeks. Gotcha!

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US History Textbook Rewrites Constitution

Voters are misguided in the USA mainly due to the brainwashing they undergo attending public schools.  Liberals infect teacher ranks, and activist liberals run public schools often like a Communist Reeducation camp.

And here's an example of how it's done.

Public schools are buying a US history textbook which contains politically mangled revisionist language regarding the 2nd amendement, the right to keep and bear Arms.

One can buy the two-star rated chunk of junk entitled 'United States History: Preparing for the Advanced Placement Examination' on Amazon for $100 bucks in hardcover. 

The textbook tries to rewrite the 2nd amendment thusly, "The people have a right to keep and bear arms in a state militia."

To refresh, the actual language reads, "A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed."

The US Supreme Court reviewed the 2nd amendment at least twice in 200 years. The court made a very big deal out of the phrasing, and even the placement of the commas in the original text. The key phrase  "the right of the PEOPLE to keep and bear Arms" is distinct and irrefutable. One need not be a member of a militia to own guns!

If you have kids in public schools and want to protect them from such abuse, take the time to read their textbooks, especially the ones on civics.  Do your part to eradicate crap like this, it's important.

Find Your Soulmate At MatchDNA.com

Forget pheromones, some claim the underlying 'chemistry' behind attraction is rooted in 'compatibility genes.'  

‘Nature’s driving force is to ensure that you produce the healthiest possible offspring, so what DNA matching offers is the chance to pick a partner with the widest possible variety of genes...,’ Eric Holzle, the guy behind a DNA dating site.

ScientficMatch.com and GenePartner.com were inspired by the Claus Wedekind 1995 ‘sweaty T-shirt’ experiment where women sniffed T-shirts of similarly aged men and rated their body odors.

To play, all one need do is visit one of the sites and purchase a DNA sampling kit for about $50 bucks.  Swab your mouth, send back the goo, and two weeks later get a list of names and phone numbers.

Snake oil?  Probably.  Suppose the list of names includes serial killers or guys that look like Mike Tyson and Dennis Rodman?  Are you then supposed to start breeding mutants just because your DNA matches a pervert?

Not everyone agrees, nor should they.  As the poets insist, love is a mystery - not a vile full of DNA and a cold list of names spit out by a lab computer.

Bump In The Night? Send The Wife...

A survey of 2000 married men and women conducted by Yale Security uncovered what people fear and who gets out of bed to deal with it.

A quarter of the men said they pretend to be asleep when they hear a threatening noise in the house. And one in five con the wife into checking it out rather than take the brave walk themselves.

So it's not surprising that a third of these men say their wives are 'braver' than they are and admit they hide behind her skirts when confronted with danger.

Forty percent of all respondents said they had heard such noises in their houses in the middle of the night.

And since two thirds of the women and just half the men admit they check locks on doors and windows before hitting the sack is it any wonder these same couples get into a fight when one demands the other go check again?

Just imagine all the anxiety and fear people could avoid if they just bought a shotgun and learned how to use it?

Man Regrows Finger Chomped Off By Horse

Dr. Eugenio Rodriguez said Paul Halpern, 33, rushed in to his Florida offices with his finger in a zip lock lunch bag.

Halpern told the doc his finger was bitten off  by a hungry horse who confused the digit for a cookie.  Well, that's the horses story anyway.

 “One of the guys...reached his hand in the horse’s mouth, took the fingertip out.' On the way to the hospital, Paul put his fingertip on a Popsicle, but the bitten piece was doomed.

Dr Rodriquez said he could make the finger grow back but the insurance company would only pay for an amputation of the rest of the finger.  So Paul took a chance.

Using the bladder tissue of a pig, Dr. Rodriguez made a template of Halpern’s finger and attached it to what was left.  It worked!

The finger’s cells, bone, soft tissue, even nail grew into the mold.  “It’s very interesting to see a patient heal. That’s my passion, wound healing...,” said Dr. Rodriguez.

Gotta feeling Dr Rodriguez is gonna get a call from the VA soon - betcha there's lotsa guys willing to strap on some pig bladder tissue if it means getting back fingers or even more.

Wild Pig Swigs 18 Beers Starts Fight With Cow

Nothing worse than a pig that can't handle his liquor.  And so it goes for the feral pig that broke into a campsite in the outback in Australia.

The pilfering pig got piss-eyed drunk on 3-six-packs of Fosters lager it [the pig] stole from a camper's unguarded ice-chest. The pig then proceeded to tear up the tents and start a fight with a nearby grazing cow.

One camper named Merida, said "we saw him [the pig] running around...being chased by a cow...it [the pig] was going around and around and then it [the pig] went into the river and swam across to the middle of the river.'

Campsite crews are not equipped to deal with wild pigs, especially if they [the pigs] get drunk, a spokesman confessed.

Australian ranchers hate the pigs because they carry diseases that infect the cattle.  But their are zillions of them [pigs] running around scavenging, getting loaded, and attacking the livestock.

The pig was last seen lying under a tree feeling sorry for itself, and nursing a major hangover.

3D Printers To Make Human Organs

The physical world can be duplicated using a 3D printer.  The devices have already been used to make components for the aviation industry, full firing handguns, and tons of stuff for the auto industry.

So is it a shock to find them ready to make entire human organs made with the stem cells from the person needing them avoiding any chance of rejection? 

They call them bioplotters.
Theoretical physicist David Kaplan, from Johns Hopkins University ent to Z-Corp to see if they could reproduce one of his wrenches from the lab.
After a few minutes, Kaplan pulls the wrench from the tray and tries it on a bolt - it works! 

Abortion Clinics Closing At Record Rate

The Huffington Post is freaking out over what they call a 'dramatic toll' new pro-life laws are taking on abortion clinics.  And Arizona is happily way out in front.

Over 44 abortion clinics, most run by Planned Parenthood have shuttered so far this year. 

NOVA Women's Healthcare in Fairfax, Va., shut down after new regulations couldn't be met by the largest baby killing facility in the state.

Pro-lifers are guardedly happy and pro-abortion goons are predictably tense. So what's going on?

Three reasons may explain why:

1. State regulation are getting more strict exposing sloppy practices;
2. Pro-lifers are growing in ranks as more people oppose the carnage
3. Abortion rates are in decline - the reasons why are still unknown

Whatever the reasons the war is far from over.  Abortion is the black death of our age, and as that pestilence devastated half the population of Europe, it still took centuries to recover. And so it may be with Abortion.

Colorado Recall Forces To Repeal Gun Laws

Hero citizens in Colorado succeeded in unseating the two most reprehensible law makers to arrogantly violate citizen gun rights.  Now they're back to collect the rest of the menaces left in the legislature.

The founders of Basic Freedom Defense Fund (BFDF) and Pueblo Freedom &who  took out the unrepentant John Morse and Angela Giron sent a letter to the remaining law makers in Denver:

1. Will you vote for a repeal of Colorado's unconstitutional new gun laws in the 2014 legislative session?
2. Would you support a ballot initiative which would repeal the new gun laws?

BFDF spokeswoman Jennifer Kerns says no one is immune from the will of the people.  It's a hoot to see how many of the white-knuckled anti-gun liberal goons will see the bold writing on the wall and pay credence to it - that is before they too get a swift kick in the ass and put back put out onto the streets.

Related
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Giron: 'I have not one iota of regret from what I voted on' 
Illinois Supreme Court Knocks Down Gun Laws

Real US Debt $84 Trillion

Since Obama took office the rate of spending, size of deficits, growth of debt, and size of federal workforce are all grinding the fiscal health of the USA into an abyss.

The real debt is well north of $84 trillion. More than $30.3 trillion owed to public debt holders, federal employees and current retirees in the form of Social Security and Medicaid benefits!

And after six years of Democrat in power the Great Recession enters it's sixth year unabated.  More people are riding IN the wagon than are PULLING the wagon.   So what are ya gonna do about it?

New York To Allow People Buried Next To Pets

The New York state legislature is heavily infected with screwball liberals.  Like California, the laws that come out of their joint asses are often absurd and always wrong and reflect the bleeding edge of secular socialism.

And so it goes this week for people and their pets because now pet cemeteries in New York can accept the cremated remains of human beings who want to be buried with their cats, dogs, hamsters and parakeets.

And the ultimate merging of pet and owner - one looney-tunes, pictured left, wants her ashes fed to her pet Chihuahua.  Presuming of course she goes before the little sofa-soaker goes.  Given the expression on that dog's face it prolly knows.

“People do get a sense of comfort from knowing they can lie for eternity with their beloved pet, that they can be loved and protected in the afterlife just as faithfully as when they were alive,” attorney Taylor York said.

Well, it's true millions, maybe billions of people hold their pets in higher esteem than other people. Still, being fed or buried with one is a new bottom - even for those that wish they were born pets themselves..

UN Climate Panel Admits Global Warming A Hoax

It's official.

Whether fraud, as the Angle suspects, or the Climate Clods get a pass the extremists at the UN are admitting they and the zombies that drink from Al Gore's koolaide jug are wrong.

The UN Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), the Vatican Of Global Warming just completed a massive, six-year ‘assessment’ of the planet's climate. These are the guys most accepted by environmentalists, politicians and other 'experts' as guardians of the gospel of climate science.

The study concludes the world has been warming at just half the rate claimed by the IPCC in its last assessment, published in 2007.

The IPCC also admit their climate models forecasted a decline in Antarctic sea ice, instead the ice has grown to a new record high.

And the IPCC hurricane forecast that predicted more intense, and stronger storms is also wrong. This years Atlantic hurricane season saw NO, not ONE hurricane in the month of August, and still none half way thru September. A record lack of them.

What's their defense? They're still insisting that Global Warming is real, man-made and despite hard evidence say they have no clue what's going on.

Dr Benny Peiser, of the Global Warming Policy Foundation, described the leaked report as a ‘staggering concoction of confusion, speculation and sheer ignorance’.

Sounds like the inside of Al Gore's head.

Related
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Gore: Global Warming Skeptics Are Racist
NASA Blows Hole In Global Warming Myth

Mafia Kidnaps World's Smallest Pony

Charlie the pony stands just 24 inches short. The stunted steed was snatched from his stall in an overnight heist staged in the Umbrian town of Città di Castello, Italy.

The Carabinieri (Italian cops) think the Mafia has Charlie held for ransom.

The cops say the thieves snipped a wire fence surrounding the fair grounds where Charlie was to perform today. Under the cover of darkness, the snatchers picked up the pony and toted the tiny equestrian through an adjoining tobacco field where a getaway moped was waiting.

The President of the National Horse Show Angelo Capecci called the theft ‘a shameful act’.  The Mafia must be pretty desperate these days.  How much can you get for a pint-sized pony anyway?

Non pony countries don't have pony pilfering problems, but then kids living in those countries can't go for pony rides, either.

Vegas Corruption Still Stinks Up Town

Vegas earned a tawdry reputation soon after the Mafia moved in back in the 50s and 60s.

After the Kefauver Committee came to town  dead bodies started popping up all over the desert.  Those were crazy days.

But corruption hasn't left the city.

To date four principles in the Vegas HOA Scandal, a police chief and two lawyers have 'committed suicide' after the US DOJ began peeling back the layers on the kickback scandal. Coincidence?

Lawyer David Amesbury, 57, who had cut a deal with federal investigators was found dead hanging from a self-made noose at his brother's home in California.

Lawyer Nancy Quon, 51, a construction defect attorney, committed suicide and found dead in her bathtub  at her Henderson, Nv condominium.

Also fingered was former police lieutenant Chris Van Cleef who shot himself shortly after an FBI raid.. And Robbie Castro, also an HOA board member was found dead from an apparent drug overdose in 2010.

The DOJ says starting in 2008, Amesbury and nine other defendants commandeered HOA's around the city by rigging elections and then steering legal and construction contracts to 'friendly' companies.

The investigation is still lingering. 

Machine 'Bump' Gun Debuts Next Month

Fully automatic machine guns firing 1000 rounds per minute are illegal.  But Texas firearm manufacturer Slide Fire invented a workaround - and it comes with an ATF certificate of legality.

The SFS BFR is fed bullets from a belt and can fire at the rate of a machine gun using a novel innovation that uses the motion of the firearm's recoil to feed bullets at an automatic and high rate.

The SFS BFR will be out next month and will set you back a cool $6,000, according to Brandon Renner, sales manager for Slide Fire.

Renner says the gun ‘sprays like a fire hose.' ‘We recommend no more than 30 rounds on the belt, but one person could make it as big as they want.’

ATF spokesman Christopher Amon, ‘I can confirm that ATF did approve the device referenced in the letter and that the Slide Fire is legal.’

What's extra fun? The company makes the 'bump' stock for a dozen other semi-automatics enabling them to fire in the same way.  Ain't that a hoot?

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Cavity Prone Have Lowest Mouth Cancer Risk

Been bragging about how few cavities in your mouth? You have a 32% higher probability to get mouth and throat cancer than those who are always in a dentist chair.

Why?  Lactic acid.

All teeth are the same.  The gene for welcoming bacteria that make lactic acid often runs in families.  And that's what dooms teeth. So trying to keep the mouth free of lactic acid has been the Holy Grail for dentistry - but the lactic acid kills cancer cells too.

Until this was figured out most dental pros thought a dirty mouth led to cavities, gum disease and great sex.

So now what? Get in there and start licking the pavement? Switch to a hair brush and go light on the toothpaste?  Gargle with toilet water?

Does it ever end?