Whizzinator Fake Penis Fools Drug Tests

Convicted 34-year-old drug offender Sydney Levin thought he could beat the urinal.  Sydney must regularly pee in a cup under a court ordered verification of his promise to behave.  Really all drug offenders on probation or parole are under this same lab testing gun.

But Sydney didn't want to behave.  Sydney wanted to get high and get away with it.  Google provided a possible answer.  Since pee was a problem why not bring a pinch hitter?

Meet the Whizzinator Touch.  The website peddles what it calls 'very quiet, fast acting, warm synthetic urine instantly.'  Now that's a branding slogan you won't see at Walmart.

The whizzes at Whizzinator provide a prosthetic penis (in all race colors) able to spurt a pungent liquiform more pure than baby tinkle.

So Sydney ordered one and glided confidently into the testing room ready to release.

But hold on.  Sydney didn't count on a cop who, for some reason, sat intently staring directly at him as he pulled the tool from the toolchest.  Just before Sydney could press the Whizinator into the cup the cop leapt into action.

Sydney's criminal record of possession of a controlled substance and felony stealing has been padded with a new charge. Felony possession of a forging instrument accompanied by a fat $25,000 bail fee.  Sydney can't tell anyone in the 'joint' what he's in for this time.  Bubba may take his Whizzinator from him and paint the walls with it.