Chinese Canine Cuisine Continues

The kitchen where the dog carcasses are piled ready to be butchered, skinned, diced, sliced, and cooked is pervasive in China.

Koreans had dog on the menu once; outlawed now.  Did you know about Chinese canine cuisine?

China is stuck between a brutal past and a powerful future.  So why are they still breeding and eating dogs? 

Many Chinese not only eat dog regularly but they also practice the brutal act of beating dogs to death to release the blood into the muscle before slaughtering.

But don't be too quick to judge, the USA once ate horse meat and may again given Obama's recent regulation changes.  And American Indians on reservations were often starved ruthlessly by US Government agents so the camp dogs quickly disappeared back in the day.

When food is scarce people will eat their pets. The Chinese do it, and you would too if you were competing for food in a country with nearly half the world's population crammed into your trailer park.

As China becomes wealthier, no doubt the practice will be banned, and the Chinese can join the USA getting fat on McDonald's pink-slime instead.

Medicine Turns Husband Into Gay Sex Slave

Taking drug companies to court is not just a sport in the USA.  It's an industry in France. Read on with a pinch of skepticism.

Didier Jambart told the court he was a loving father and husband in Nantes, France.  Then he got Parkinson's and started taking the drug Requip made by GlaxoSmithKline.

Soon after starting the drug Didier says he turned into a 'gay sex and gambling addict.'   He says he drained his family savings, stole toys from his own kids and sold them on EBay to raise money for gambling.  He says he also advertised himself on the internet for gay sex.

The jury believed him and awarded $210,000 in damages.  Didier weeping said, 'I am happy that justice has been done. I am happy for my wife and my children. I am at last going to be able to sleep at night and profit from life. '

Of course there is no evidence scientific or otherwise that shows Requip turns regular guys into diaper wearing fudge-packers and horse-racing handicappers.  But in France and soon the USA corporations are assumed to be evil and despite doing anything wrong need to pay anyway.

Remember, no good deed goes unpunished.  Didier managed to do nothing more than hurt Parkinson's patients worldwide rather than take personal responsibility for his dark abuses.

Zurich's Drive-Thru Brothels Are Born

Voters in Zurich approved a measure aimed to confine what patrons and prostitutes are already doing openly on public streets.

Resembling a car wash vacuuming stations. Sturdy stalls will be erected on the edge of Zurich to keep 'the act' a little more private. Prostitutes will be assigned and queued ready to serve the auto-erotic customer on a first-in-first-out basis.

Germany, always in the forefront of the foreskin trades have these things setup around Berlin. 

The drive-in brothels may leave them limp however.  The 'danger' and 'risk' element is as much a part of the 'act' as anything that happens in the alley once the tawdry transaction terminates.

Limiting the lechers to sanctioned and sanitary bawdy stalls will suck the soiree out of sex. And the pimps are predictably pissed too.

But the prostitutes probably don't care.  All of this is not for them, it's for the prurient populace who want to feel a little more pompous and protected.  Right?

California On Path To Perdition

Did you think California was in bad shape before the election?  Zowie zombie zoo-zoo El Segundo.  You ain't seen nothing yet, baby.

The goofy California voters managed to put the Democrats into super majority stranglehold clutching the throat of a dying State.  This, one election cycle putting Jerry Brown back into power.  Now the perfect storm has been brewed.

Taxmageddon as it's affectionately called is in full flooding force pooping out two massive income tax hikes in two years, pervasive sales tax hikes, and taxation levied on internet purchases.

The State's self-flagellation is leading to a wealth drain.  So rumors are percolating the Democrats with their fascist powers will pinch off anyone thinking to get out easily by taxing their assets too.

Brown has more power than God now in California - a State filled with more liberal seculars than Stalin's Russia.

The son of Jerry is the head of the State Senate - Darrell Steinberg.  And this guy is a known socialist goon who hates the initiative process that brought the tax-limiting Prop 13 back in the 1970s.

Steinberg wants stop the voters from undoing what he has planned.  No doubt Darrell knows he is gonna go after Prop 13.  And Darrell no doubt wants to stop anyone from taking their toys with them when they try to leave the place.

The California meltdown is as bad as it gets.  Brown wants the whole country to take the same dump Sacramento is taking on it's residents.  The plan is to the put kibosh on anyone trying to retain a semblance of meager savings and/or dwindling assets.

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Parrot Stabber Gets 6-Months County Jail

Dick Atkinson, 63, plead guilty to first-degree animal cruelty and second-degree domestic-violence malicious mischief.  Dick has been sitting in jail since last August 19th unable to make bail.  Now he gets to stay six months longer.

Dick says he blacked-out on anti-depressant meds and whiskey.  Howling like a dog Dick took a carving fork from a drawer and plunged it into his girlfriends parrot.  Then for some reason got really pissed and trashed the house.  His girlfriend wasn't  home at the time.

The judge issued the order and banned Dick from owning or even going near an animal for five years.  In fact, Dick is not allowed to even pet anyone else's dog.  Plus Dick has to attend a parrot-stabbing rehab for a year and pay his girlfriend for all the crap he broke.

Dick's girlfriend was in court with twenty of her family and relatives sneering from the gallery.  Dick says he is sorry but most agreed his 'crime' was 'depraved, hideous and barbaric.'

See where things are going folks?  Touch a parrot and you get nearly a year in  jail.  Kill your kid in the womb and you get Time magazine's person of the year (Sandra Fluke).

Fat Guy Dumped By Fat Girlfriend Gets Even

Imagine you are a fat round faced loser working at O'Hare Airport who hooks up with an even fatter acne faced manatee-like maiden who dumps you for an ex-pro wrestler named 'Tiny Bubbles.'

Now ponder the bacon-laced rage simmering in your below average IQ'd pea brain.  And in a rare flash of inspiration schlep from your scrawny skull a truly devious, calculating and obliquitous way to get even with her. 

Bang-zoom. 

What was Brandon Preveau's nightmare cooked up for his estranged girl pal?

Brandon's former squeeze Jennifer Fitzgerald owes $105,761.80 for 678 parking violations issued to a 1999 Chevrolet Monte Carlo registered in her name (by Brandon). The fines are the largest in city history.

Ms Fitzgerald never owned the car of course. Brandon saddled her with an ordeal that is going on a fourth year.  Jennifer has had to hire a lawyer and fight the fines in court. And the beauty part for Brandon?  Jennifer has to sue the city for going after her, and not Brandon for setting up the scam.

The Angle doesn't know what went on between these two butterballs, but Brandon has built himself a karma snot-ball that will one day pull his boxer shorts down-around his ankles in public no doubt...

Supreme Court Rules On Gay Marriage

Under the US Constitution marriage is a State level domain.  But these days the States are under assault.

All of it by design.  The left-wingers figured out that if they can wipe out State control and run everything from DC they can imprint their jack-boots on society faster.  And that's EXACTLY what's happening.

SCOTUS is ruling on whether they will rule on gay marriage.  If they take on the issue, it will mean not just deciding whether States no longer define and license marriage.  The larger implication more insidious is yet more eroding of State's Rights.

If gay radicals win they accelerate eroding the US constitution.  If the court refuses to rule on the issue then gay marriage stooges will be forced back to the States and local voting.

In time gay marriage may become pervasive.

Church and State do not mix.   The Angle would like to see marriage taken out of both State and/or federal control and replaced with a license for civil unions.  While Atheists keep the courts busy with 'God' lawsuits the larger problem of government sanctioning marriage hides in plain site.

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Nursery Rhyme Banned Due To Obscenity

Toddlers singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star must not make hand gesture for a star because it resembles the sign for a vagina in British Sign Language.

Staff at the Sure Start Toddler School, in Acomb, North Yorkshire, Britain attended a sign language course. The kids were seen making a star while singing the Twinkle Twinkle song.

A staff meeting was called and it was decided to ban the song, though no deaf kid attends the school, and no deaf person complained.

Parents are justifiably pissed, ‘These are innocent little children just making a sign to show a star. No one would give it a second thought.’

John Midgley, co-founder of the Campaign Against Political Correctness, said teachers needed to ‘grow up...this is a ridiculous example of political correctness where adults are trying to put their views into the minds of children who would not have known there was anything wrong with what they are doing.’

Jill Hodges, with the City of York School Council, which runs the group, insisted it was ‘a sensible decision taken to prevent deaf children or deaf parents being offended’.

The solution is easy, parents should say bye bye Sure Start Toddler School.  Britain has no shortage of left-wing loons - Scotland Yard will need to add a 'hand gesturing' division now.

Remember, such conditioning begins in the schools, at the earliest age, and in the most absurd ways.   Today it's a vagina sign, tomorrow it's breaking the bank signing-up an expectant population to an insolvent set of social programs.

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Electric Cars Pollute More Than Gas Cars

Counter intuitive? Some kind of trick? Anti-green plot?

A study in 34 Chinese cities found the electricity generated by power plants to drive electric vehicles POLLUTES MORE fine particle emissions than gas-powered vehicles collectively regurgitate.

The study was done in China because e-cars and e-bikes outnumber conventional vehicles 2:1.

In China, 85% of electricity is from fossil fuels Of that 90% from coal. In the USA 57% of electricity comes from coal, another 12% from oil fired plants.

Obama's new budget hikes GM Volt subsidies from $7,500 to $10,000 per car. Only 600 Volts sold in January, the car is an abysmal failure.  Hey Barry, heard of Rube Goldberg?

The takeaway? Electric cars are a horrible value and climate proposition. The cars have a poor range, lack of torque, and long charge times. They will not sell on their own, and must be subsidized. And now they are found to pollute more than gas cars. Pay the man!

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Sizzling Sex Seekers Traced To Tofu

Aphrodisiac peddlers have been plying trade since Homo Erectus walked the planet.  Tiny little rock-like fertility figurines have been unearthed dating back 40,000 years.

People love to be lascivious.  So who is bumping uglies and taking the skin boat to tuna town the most?

Vegetarian tofu eaters.  The culprit compounds are phytoestrogens concentrated in plants.

Researchers studied a large group of male red colobus monkeys feasting on Millettia dura, a tropical tree containing estrogen-like compounds.  These compounds are also found in soy (tofu).

The higher their levels of estradiol, the 'sex hormone' the hornier the monkeys got.  In fact the effect was so pronounced the prattling primates were mounting females day and night forgoing food foraging and predator policing.

The theory rises from vegan diets containing less fat, providing more energy, and compiling more of the carnal compounds producing a kind of carrot-crunching coital clod.

Scary.

Sister Lesbians Beat Gay Man To Near Death

A 'hate crime' is being brought against a pair of lesbian sisters and a third 'woman' who bludgeoned a gay man relentlessly.

The three perps don't deny they beat the man, but they say they are not guilty of a hate crime because they too are gay.

Harvey Silverglate is defending the trio.  “If you beat someone up, you’re guilty of assault and battery of a human being. Period...”

Odd coming from a civil liberties lawyer representing three butch lesbians.

The prosecution and the MA ACLU disagree. “Someone who is Jewish can be anti-Semitic,” said ACLU lawyer Sarah Wunsch. “The mere fact that someone is a member of the same class doesn’t mean they could not be motivated by hatred for their very own group.”

The victim told cops he believed the attack was “motivated as a crime because of his sexual orientation” since the three women “called him insulting homophobic slurs.”  In essence he was beaten for being gay, not just for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Domestic violence among lesbians is higher than all groups. Lesbians are man-haters; no matter the male's sexual preferences. So let's not kid ourselves. Lesbians are filled with rage and have no problem acting out even if not provoked.

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Man Jailed Slapping Ex-Wife With Penis

Domestic violence is not funny.  Even if you hit your ex-wife with your dick.  Here is the story that proves even a penis is considered a weapon of violence in the hands of an ex-husband.

Fred Thomas got 180 days in jail and a year of probation for domestic violence assault and indecent conduct.

Fred invited his ex-wife to stay at his place one day last July. Sometime during the night Fred forgot about the divorce and desperately offered his ex $20 for sex. When ex-Mrs Fred said no, Fred took out his penis and slapped her with it.

Fred's lawyer excused the screwball behavior by detailing how upset Fred was over the divorce. It seems Fred's estranged wife was planning to go to Pakistan to meet a man she met online. Pakistan?

Well, Fred became unwound nonetheless and now will be trying to figure out how to keep Bubba's penis off him over the next 180 days.  But Fred could be considered lucky given how other women have sliced off the offending article under past and similar circumstances.

The lesson is easy on this one. DO NOT touch an ex wife with anything that could be construed as a weapon. Even an erect 62-year-old penis!

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Al Gore's Annual Planet Catastrophe

Fifty years ago the holidays were marked by the sound of Bing Crosby, Nat King Cole and Johnny Mathis.

Since 2000, Al Gore has replaced the crooners with his little global warming puppet show.  "We have a planetary emergency," said Gore yesterday. "I know it drives some people nuts when I say that, but dammit, that’s what we face."

Gore's yearly "planetary emergency" take nets him big bucks. Gore is paid north of $175,000 a speech for delivering his "planetary emergency" presages.

Al has made the exact same claim in 2005, 2006, 2007, and 2008. Since 2001, Gore's assets ballooned from just under $2 million to an estimated $100 million plus.

Fourteen of Gore's green techs raked in over "$2.5 billion in loans, grants and tax breaks, part of Obama’s push to seed a U.S. renewable-energy industry with public money."

Gore says his motivation is not greed or avarice and is offended by the suggestion. Laughing. 

Oh yea. Gore did divorce Tipper and bought a beach mansion in Malibu.  Makes sense, after all, when you are riding the green money train it's a helluva lot more fun to be on the beach with the silicon-breasted set than back in Tennessee with your post-menopausal, saggy-boobed ex wife shoveling snow off the driveway.

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Unions Demand Obama Payback

Surprise!  The reelection of Obama was not about rewarding a good record...no, no..

Over half the country is on some kind of government handout, and another large chunk are working for the various state and federal governments at pay rates and benefits far exceeding the taxpayers in the private sector that keep them in beans.

Grim.

Obama was reelected by this majority - the people INSIDE the wagon.  And now that the big tax hikes and spending cuts are looming on January 1st the scramble inside the wagon is on.

The Federal-Postal Coalition fronting over two dozen federal employee unions demand to escape cuts in any deal related to the "fiscal cliff."  Notice unions are striking all over the place now.  It's a laugh really, they are emboldened in a dead economy because their Messiah got back in of course.

Since the election the unions have killed the Twinkie and want to do the same to holiday travelers and ports in California.

Once again the taxpayers and the private sector middle class are the target.  But hey, Obama won, and now the cronies get their cake to eat and spit in the face of America once again.

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McDonald's Line Cutter Taser Tagged

Non lethal force is pretty cool. Ya get to zap people pretty much whenever you want. Plus there is the added bonus watching the 'perp' wriggle like a fish out of water - good for a laugh or two, right?

Some people liken the use of a taser to the use of a gun. Ehhh - no cigar. But when is it proper to zap someone with 2 million volts at a micro-amp?

When they cut the drive-thru line at McDonalds. When you want a taser with your BigMac by all means, order it to go.

Evangeline Marrero Lucca, 37, cut into the front of a drive-thru in Fayetteville, NC. Told she could not get service, she got angry, and sat arguing with the staff. Police were called.

The woman got even more belligerent after police arrived. When cops entered her car a taser was pressed against the woman's skin delivering a "drive stun". The technique doesn't fully incapacitate, but does make one pause.

Debbie Tanna, a Sheriff's Office spokeswoman said "Our top priority was making sure people weren't hurt because we didn't know if she was going to drive the car off and run over somebody," Tanna said. "Then there was the baby in the car we were concerned about."

The lesson is simple. If you want your food fast, get in line and wait your turn, otherwise find yourself eating county jail food while trying to regain consciousness after a couple of million volts morning wake-up.

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Colonoscopy Is A Pain In The Ass

Ever had one? The ordeal will save your life.  Here is how a colonoscopy works.

You arrive at the clinic with sweaty palms and a thumping heartbeat. They make you strip and put on a hospital gown with your ass hanging out the back. You mount the paper covered table and hold out your arm. An IV is stuck into any candidate vein. Here is your first hint this is not going to be a quick in-and-out drive-up window procedure.

You wait. Oh wait...the nurse is coming back.

A couple of nurses retrieve you and roll you into the 'theater'. You don't really want to look around because most of the gear is unrecognizable anyway. The MD nods politely, but is in a hurry - he is doing these things all day long and you are not a guest of honor.

Just as the doc finishes a cryptic run-down over what he is gonna do, another nurse plugs your IV into a bottle of 'stuff'. You wake up on the other side of the building with no memory - the last thing you do remember is 'this will be over before you know it'.  You are shivering like a trout on a rock beside a mountain stream. You just got violated for a solid 30 minutes by a room full of people running a cable with a camera up your rear and possibly cratering chunks of your intestinal wall. You made it!

Oh did I mention that the real hard part is emptying your bowels of every scrap of whatever you ate up 'till that moment - the night BEFORE? You are expected to show up with your intestines cleaner than the day they were made.

You accomplish this by drinking the most foul tasting plastic-like drink disguised as a lime or orange soda. Then you sit up for half a day and night as close to the toilet as a squirting accident takes to happen. You perch there pondering the next days ordeal, draining yourself like a septic tank truck. The end never seems to come, then suddenly you feel ten-pounds lighter, and plunge into a gut-empty sleep.

The next day arrives and you are ready to jump to step one above.

Why do it? Why pay good money to subject yourself to 'the ordeal'?  Because if they find a polyp, and it isn't a cancer, they remove it, all of it, and any others they find. And if there is cancer, you catch it sooner which is always better than later.

That one thing puts you into the 53% of patients that will NOT die from colon cancer - but only if you do it every five or ten years after age 50. That's right, you get to do this a lot.

Welcome to your senior years, folks. Have fun.

Dangling Trailer Hitch Testicles Get Ticket

In the middle of an Obama second term isn't it more fun to read about a guy in South Carolina pulled over for having a softball sized replica of a pair of human testicles dangling from his rear bumper?

The story is a simple one.  A Spartanburg County Sheriff’s deputy observed a Lincoln pickup truck whizz by with a pair of 'Truck Nutz'  looming large, and dangling prominently below the hitch on the rear bumper.   Specifically, the deputy noted in a report, the object was a pair of testicles that were “flesh colored, anatomically correct, approximately the size of a softball, and in clear view of the public.”

The cop explained to the driver, Joe Cervantes-Rodriguez that is was  'his balls' got his attention.

Cervantes-Rodriguez explained he had come from Mexico a few months ealier traveling through Texas and Georgia. The driver had a vehicle registration and proof of insurance, but not a valid and current driver’s license.  So he was arrested.

After spending the night in jail, Cervantes-Rodriguez got out on $237 bail. A “warning citation” was also issued for displaying the 'accoutrement'.

The lesson isn't hard to guess.  Never.  Ever.  Not ever.  Drive around with a large replica of genitalia hanging from any part of your truck.  Place the replicas INSIDE and make sure your documentation is current.

Next watch La Raza or the ACLU bring a suit against the cops for 'testicle' profiling.  If you want or need a pair of these find them at  www.yournutz.com.  Good luck!

Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop Busted For Drugs

Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop, 30, from Wisconsin, was charged charged with carrying a concealed weapon, possession of drug paraphernalia, possession of marijuana and a violation of probation.

Beezow legally changed his name from Jeffrey Drew Wilschke, so when the cops picked him up, they had to write his new, ridiculously long and tedious name on their reports. In some circles, a middle name like 'Drew' is often enough to drive people a little dingbat, so it is understandable this guy might want to change that part, but, whats wrong with 'Jeff'?

As one might expect, Beezow has a Facebook page, and when you go there you will discover he enjoys activities including 'eating', 'standing', 'walking', 'thinking', and 'diamond'. Beezow can clown around with Bubba now, Bubba likes guys that can stand, and eat, but he doesn't like them thinking - bending over is all that is required.

Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop must have a hunch what's in store, from the back of the cop car, he spit thru the barrier wire and said "...gonna get even with them".

Good luck Beezow, you are definitely gonna need it in the slammer - and oh yea, you will want to add "Bubba's Beatch" to the front of that dictionary sized name of yours when you get out.

Nike's Sonic Split-Second Sprinter Suit

Nike engineers sports gear like NASA makes space shuttles.   High science.

Feeding the need for speed the company has harnessed the aerodynamics of golf balls and applied the dimpled design to an all-body suit for Olympic sprinters.

The result?  Shave 0.023 of a second off the clock - the difference between gold and going home to work in a car wash.

Why a golf ball design?  Because PGA tournaments of 4 days, 72 holes, 288 strokes and 28,000 yards are most often decided by a single shot.  So that little ball needs to fly, baby.

And so do high-speed human runners.  Its all about wind resistance, all other muscles being equal.

Nike is shaving ounces off the shoes too.  Now we just gotta get them to shave their heads.   Oh yea, and shouldn't those shoes be blue instead of urine-yellow-green?

The concept of making athletes more 'slippery' is not new.  Skiers and swimmers have benefited in the last 15 years from similar ideas.  Track, skiing, swimming all share the same thousandths of a second difference between a winner and a loser, despite the years of dedicated work required to make a world-class competitor.

Nike began it's rise as a company when a track coach, Bill Bowerman at the University of Oregon made a couple of pairs of light-weight distance running shoes on a waffle iron for Steve Prefontaine.  Nike is all about wind and weight, man.

Half Ton Woman Confesses To Murder

The news world goes to sleep on weekends but the corpulent never catnap.

Last March 2008, Mayra Rosales, 31, told the cops she had killed her 2-year-old nephew by accidentally rolling over and smothering him.  Given Mayra is primarily made up of giant-big rolls of porcine pudge-fudge her account of events seemed to fit.

Fine, the cops had their whale but wait, anyone got a pair of handcuffs big enough for an elephant leg?  Mayra was far to large to be cuffed, set in a patrol car or van, and placed in a cell.

In fact, Marya had long been confined to her bed because her legs and arms are too large to lift.

Soon after her trial began the autopsy on the boy came back. Cause of death - blunt-force trauma to the head.  Marya's lawyer smelled a jelly-roll.  How could Mayra whack the kid in the head when she couldn't raise her arms?  Oh yea, she didn't do it.

Mayra eventually confessed she had invented the story to protect her sister Jaime, who had allegedly struck the boy with a hairbrush on the day Marya told the cops she was the perp.   Mayra was trying to protect her sister.

Today Mayra's sister is in jail.  Mayra is in a hospital for the morbidly obese.  And the system is proven  once again to be brain-dead enough to waste the taxpayers dime on an absurdity that boggles even the most mundane of minds.

Golf Is No Game For Pussies

Golf cannot be perfected, hence, the game has been around since 1410.

The St. Andrews Royal & Ancient Golf Club didn't get going till 1755 but St. Andrews was the first club to publish an official rule book. This  largely due to the fist-fighting that often broke out before, during, and always after matches. Settling scores over a Guinness in the 19th hole pub became tradition.

Over the centuries golf has maintained a special sense of formality, frustration, foiling, frenzy and masochism. The game is also known for crazy clothing and bizarre behavior.

Golf is not a spectator sport, one must play the game to get the joke.  To non players sauntering around the course looks ridiculous, boring, blatant, even non-athletic.

After a few years of climbing golf's endless incline of impossibility there are two images that slowly emerge in the consciousness.  First, even if you are Jack Nicklaus or Tiger Woods the game will beat your ass regardless of talent like a $2 hooker in a Navy leave port.  The second is pursuing a perfect swing which exposes the worst personality defects in a hole and a half of errant play.

What kind of player are you?  Find yourself in the list below (and if you deny finding yourself you are as dishonest as you are a high-handicapper).  For each pronoun 'guy', ladies simply substitute 'girl' and your off..

1. Unsolicited Adviser - knows-it-all but master-of-none.
2. On The Green In 10 - one hour hole consumed looking for sliced balls, shanked short shots.
3. Cell Phone Punk - your golf round belongs to him and his personal business.
4. Cart Girl Chaser - they hire leggy girls to deliver drinks so the lechers can lech while wife is away?
5. Gear Horse - this guy has a garage stuffed with clubs dating back to the 60s, and clothes to match.
6. Scoreboard - something about counting ball strikes that eludes this guy.
7. Red Neck - this guy buys three beers each time the cart comes around 'just in case'.
8. Stogie Stan - fat guy turns fresh air golf course into a smoke filled room.
9. Sandbagger - plays 10 strokes below his handicap, basically a cheater in chinos.
10. Solo Swinger - no time for social silliness after all HIS ball is the center of attention.
11. Ball Hoarder - shagging balls out of bounds and in the ponds more than playing
12. Temper Tommy - broken clubs and damaged fairways evidence to be used in the murder trial later.
13. Swings Out Of Shoes - topped, sliced, sculled, pulled terms invented to describe this guys game..
14. B Golfer - hits a second ball - notice the second ball is ALWAYS best?
15. Plumb Bobber - micro manager must measure meticulously might miss micro breaks...
16. Pretend Pro - this guy has yardage book, laser pin finder, wind sensors, and pull hooks a putter
17. Foot Wedger - the classic cheat. 'play as it lays' is a suggestion to this guy, not a rule
18. Hyper Henry - every shot, every hole, a fist pump and a feast day.  over joyed and shoots over 100.
19. War Stories - remembers playing with Walter Haggin, or was that played at Haggin Oaks?
20. Loud Talker - oblivious to the back-swings of others.

The list is not meant to be comprehensive, but does expose the absurdity of playing a game that is at once costly, incalculable and cantankerous.  So when's the next tee time?

Naked 400lb Woman Arrested On Bus Bench

Is it a crime to be morbidly obese sitting naked on a bus bench?  Yep.

Patricia McCollum, 52, was charged with exposure of sexual organs in public and was held on $100 bond. McCollum has a long record list of petty offenses, being naked in public among them.

McCollum is a homeless Ft Lauderdale woman. She claims she was just trying to change her clothes. "That's why I was changing my clothes on the bus bench. I don't have anywhere else to stay but bus benches," McCollum said testified in court.

Patty apparently uses a walker, collects social security and doesn't seem to be aware that a 400-pound naked women is a pretty easy thing to spot. Agreed, she is a sad case, but let's face it these bus benches are not bathroom stalls.

Really no homeless person should be stripping in public, but give it some thought, they are IN public, where else are they gonna do it? Florida is welding bathroom doors shut.  Is this a mean game the state wants to play with it's homeless now?

We hope not.

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Women Reject Men Rejected By Pets

Okay.  You're all in.  You spent a solid year looking not in bars, not online, not even going to weddings uninvited.  After years of misfires and self-pity you found her and you know she's the one.

She meets you for drinks and a couple of dinners out.  You're taking it slow  Being careful, respectful, even thankfull.

The day arrives.  She likes you, you like her, she invites you in for coffee.  Then it happens.  You didn't see it coming and you didn't even know it was a possibility.

You ring the bell, you hear the barking, and her footsteps approaching.  The door opens.  There staring, sneering, and lifting it's leg on your $500 Florsheim is a large yellow lab.  Somehow you get your foot out of the way just as the stream starts, but part of it hits your Anderson & Sheppard pant-leg anyway.

But that's not the ugly part.  The dog never gave you a chance.  And neither will she now.

NOAH (National Organization of Animal Health) did a study.   A quarter of women will dump any man based on how her pet reacts to the suitor – and a third would leave their own bed and sleep on the floor next to their pet if it was ill.  Worse?  Forty-percent of the nearly two-thousand women studied said they would sacrifice their own life to save their pet.

In short, men can't compete with women and their pets.  If you guys want to get into her ballpark you have to please the pooch first.  If you don't , save your time and money.  And kiss the dog before going much further.

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65-Foot Pregnant Statue Angers Town

A 65 foot bronze monstrosity is being erected in a small coastal town in Britain and locals are not happy about it.

The statue is called Verity.  The artist is a nearby pub owner who describes his obscenity as a 'modern allegory of truth and justice.'  That's faux-art speak to deflect anyone correctly taking umbrage to a chunk of junk disguised as art.

Naysayers told the city council the 'work' is: 'outrageous, immoral, bizarre, offensive, distasteful, embarrassing, grotesque, disrespectful, insensitive, inappropriate, a monstrosity, tasteless, ugly, vulgar and not in good taste'.   In short, this thing needs to be melted down and turned into a bell or a plaque.

The council ignored upset villagers giving a green light to the project instead.  The pointee skin stripped horror was wind tunnel tested. Yea, don't want the thing taking off in the middle of the night on a brisk onshore wind gust.

Sometimes bad art is well, you know, just bad.  Can anyone else hear Donatello, Michelangelo, Bernini and Rodin turning in their graves?

Virgin Test No One Can Beat

Stare at the jar, left.  What do you see?

If you see a naked kneeling bare breasted woman being grabbed from behind by a larger male with hands cupping the well endowed maid, then you are NOT a virgin.   Or at least you have been peering at porn for too long.

If you see seven bottle-nosed dolphins swimming head-up and head-down with the tail of one forming the shadow of a hoo hoo spot on the female, then you are a 40-year-old virgin.

Or possibly a child too young to be reading this blog.

The test is irrefutable. Once you have crossed the carnal chasm your brain is forever funk-a-fide.  The imprint of naked women irreversibly stamped on your cerebral cortex like a hot brand on a cow's ass.

Go ahead, peek again.  The more you stare the larger the boobs get, right?  Pervert.

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Twitter Zaps Jews Zapping Obama

The Internet is not protected by free speech.  Did you know that?  The ubiquitous web is not owned anyone or headquartered in any one country.

Companies that base their offerings on the web are really free to allow or block anyone they want for any arbitrary reason they choose.  And often do exactly that.

Case in point: Without warning, Twitter suspended three accounts owned by an Orthodox Jew from New York City after a cartoon depicting the Obama administration stabbing Israel in the back was attached to a tweet.

When asked why, Twitter remains silent. A stark double standard seems to exist at Twitter however.

Twitter has not taken similar action against the terror group Hamas and its supporters for tweeting “Death to the Jews” and other threats of violence.

So one must ask innocently what is going on at Twitter?  Are sides being taken?  Or is there just a stinky stink of hypocrisy and uneven handedness festering at the burgeoning social media giant...

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Two Guys Beat Monkey To Death In Zoo

Breaking News: Man, 22, Arrested In Monkey Beating Death

Two males dressed in black clothes were spotted by a security guard at 4.30 am outside the fence near the primate house at the Boise zoo.

Zoo director Steve Burns found the 2 foot tall, 30 pound Patas monkey laying in a pool of blood near the perimeter fence moaning faintly. Zoo vets were called from their homes.  Sadly, the small primate died as it was being examined just before 6 am.

Police were summoned to investigate.  An infrared scan of the 11-acre facility failed to locate the perps.

Zoo staff are shaken and upset. The dead monkey was part of a pair transferred from Florida about three years ago.  The staff had become attached to the animals.

'It's very disturbing that someone would intentionally break into the zoo and harm an animal,' said Sgt. Ted Snyder of the Boise Police. 'We're doing all we can to find who did this.'

What kind of rage would motivate a pair to dress up in burglar clothes and target a defenseless monkey in a zoo cage?  True, humans are far more brutal and savage to each other.  But this small monkey pissed someone off to the point of beating it to death why again?

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Policewoman Fires On Man With Lego Gun

A man with diminished mental capacity (a retard) was standing on a sidewalk in Cottage Lake, WA waving a toy gun made of legos at passing cars.

Someone called 911.

“The first deputy arrived minutes later and the man ignored her commands. When the man pulled the handgun from his waistband and raised it, the deputy fired about 25 yards away,” Deputy Charlie Akers told local media.  The policewoman has been placed on administrative leave.

The man has had prior encounters with the cops.  He's a resident in a nearby group home and “has a fascination with (toy) guns.”   Gee, ya think maybe they would recognize the guy in a small town and maybe zap him with a non-lethal device first?

Akers added, “Because of his mental capacity, my guess is he will not be charged with anything.”

Why are the cops not tasing a guy like this first?  Anyone care 'Charlie Gordon' is already childlike and obviously can't tell the difference between his shoelaces and a hairball.

Now 'Charlie' is laying in a hospital bed with his arms and penis hooked up to a tangle of tubes.  C'mon folks are we at a point where we let the cops shoot mental patients now?  Then deflect with a statement like 'my guess is he will not be charged.'

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Meat Eaters Prone To Crime And Corruption

Vegans are a rowdy and pretentious bunch.

The same arrogant presumptive personality defects that cripple left-wingers are reflected in Vegans at large.

PETA is filled with vegans, for example.  The oft outrageous claims weenies at PETA make are part attention craving and part disdain PETA followers have for people in general.

The open hatred Vegans have for meat eaters is being played out in India where beef critters are revered as gods and allowed to defecate freely anywhere they want unfettered.  Vegans in India are a serious almost militant crew willing to openly brainwash the young when it comes to the practice and necessity of eating red meat.

An Indian textbook for grade-schoolers contains the following meat-eater charge: Non vegetarians ‘easily cheat, tell lies, they forget promises, they are dishonest and tell bad words, steal, fight and turn to violence and commit sex crimes’.

The book goes on to praise the Japanese for their diets neatly leaving out the part about Japanese fish consumption.  The book even dictates to the kids at what age girls should marry - 18 to 25.

Sounds like the Indians are copying American schools. Shoveling disturbing propaganda out to impressionable kids presumably to twist their world-view for later in life.  And when the Indian culture turns malignant as it has in the USA one need not look far for the cause.

Steve Jobs Dead - Genius Or Joker?

Steve Jobs RIP - Oct. 5, 2011.

Steve Jobs, 56, had been attending the Stanford Cancer Center in Palo Alto, California, where Patrick Swayze sought radical chemotherapy for pancreatic cancer before his death in September, 2009.

Jobs bought extra years of life, literally, when he spent multi-millions in a sordid play to replace his emaciated liver. See shocking photos of him in recent weeks.

Jobs has been on his last CPU cycle really since around 2006. The obvious has always been, what happens to his spawn, Apple Computer?  And what fate awaits the sandal-wearing, Apple-Heads; Jobs' cult following? Jobs was their iRock star.

Without Jobs, Apple Computer is facing the inevitable demise Jobs himself finally succumbed to...  Jobs first founded, then lost, then rebuilt Apple after Jobs himself hired John Scully to mess things up.

The spin is already out on MSNBC that Jobs was a genius, and he invented the PC, and mouse, and he gave all of us the favor of his goofy little devices, and he was a great guy,  and yada yada yada.  As expected, the myth builders on the left will start to build the myth of Jobs upon the myth of Jobs.  But, like their other myths, the Jobs myth will not be true either.

The truth is, Jobs was a driven, obsessive, bully, who was well known to push people to the edge in his pursuit of selling electronic goodies.  Jobs was well aware of amassing his wealth, and how he stacked up to other silicon valley titans.  Steve branded himself as the anti-establishment tycoon in tee-shirts, Levis, and Gen-X phraseology ready made for what would become known as the "hard-core Apple user base".   Behind the slide-show? - no buck left behind.

Jobs was not always so visionary, he missed on NEXT (his company after he was fired from Apple the first time), he missed on his first try at the Mac (named Lisa after a child he denied he had till she was six), and oh yea, all the technology Jobs put out there was invented by others - the Mac born from the work at Xerox PARC.  Among a string of non-starter products like the Newton, Pippin, Tam, McIntosh TV, G4 Cube, Apple IIc, and Hockey Puck Mouse, lay Jobs' forgotten trail of dead products - forgiven.

Jobs was more a marketing guy, than a tech guy.  His true legacy is not inventing anything, but taking the ideas of others, shielding development under a "secret skunkworks" pall - once Jobs broke within his own company to setup the "Pirate" or "Black Apple" development team which led to the MacIntosh's.  Once ready, Jobs put on his show, spitting out the gadget on stage coining phrases like "insanely great" to put the tingle in his die-hard base.


Apple customers are more like cult-followers, and Jobs was their cult leader in tech.  Recall the old Apple ads that depicted the droning imagery of a Metropolis futuristic auditorium filled with presumed gadget-hungry customers?

Apple users are famously not the gear-head types that prefer the erector-set approach of Microsoft windows, but more the artsy-non tech types that need to be led by the nose - and not asked to do much more than turn their machines on, like a toaster.

Remember, Jobs was a master of hype, his paradigm is over-charging for fewer features, in that way Jobs is more akin to P.T. Barnum, than to Ted Hoff (inventor of the microprocessor at Intel).

Consider the irony that provided him with billions in wealth, years of power in the high tech industry, and yet a shortened life fraught with pain and disease.

Would you have traded places with him?

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TSA Scanner Cancer Scare

Scientists are challenging TSA assertions about the safety of full-body X-ray scanners. TSA evidence is unreliable and most should question why the government won’t make the scanners available for independent testing (ProPublica).

A letter written by John Sedat, a professor emeritus in biophysics at UCSF and signed by five professors at University of California, San Francisco, and Arizona State University has been sent to the White House asking for answers.  So far, no response.

Prof. Sedat says, "There's no real data on these machines, and in fact, the best guess of the dose is much, much higher than certainly what the public thinks.”

TSA told Congress providing their test results would expose sensitive information.  Like what?  That the scanners are dangerous? Or that the scanners are irradiating the public and TSA workers?

Why no scanners in Israel or the EU?.  Planes fly in those places too.

The stink is pretty strong.  An Obama agency led by Janet Napolitano refusing to allow independent testing?  Women and kids? The elderly, you and me?  Hints of the government syphilis experiments, and the top ten evil government experiments come to mind.

The alternative to refusing the questionable scanners is to be molested by the TSA!

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Gangsta Stabs Deaf Guys Using Sign Language

A group of deaf and mute friends were stabbed at a bar in Florida after a gang-banger mistook their sign language for gang signs.

Barbara Lee, 45, primary suspect, thought the group was throwing gang signs at her, and responded by flashing gang signs back at them, cops said. The group motioned for her to leave them alone.

Eventually Lee left the bar but returned with two members of her crew, 19-year-old Marco Ibanez and a 17-year-old not identified.

Lee and Ibanez were arrested after they stabbed the group in a feeding frenzy of hand-gestured rage. The melee also resulted in the bars bouncer getting a bottle smashed over his head, all of them ended up in the hospital.

Are gangstas powered on just a brain-stem? None of them has heard of a deaf person?. Baseball catchers better take notice.

This story is tragic, and worse, it does seem to point to an element in American culture that fester without higher-level brain function, ready to act out in dangerously violent ways - like the Terminator androids programmed as hunter-killers, even across centuries of time.

Nude Cafe Customers Bring Towels

SAN FRANCISCO — Supervisor Scott Wiener's legislation about the nude guys in the Castro compels the nudies to put something under their asses when they sit on public chairs (i.e., an ass gasket or a towel).

Wait...nudity is okay in the city of San Francisco?  Yep.  And now they want the nasty bacteria-ridden bottoms of nude cafe goers to have a buffer-zone on a chair you could use next.

Berkeley's ordinance is more civilized saying it is against the law "for any person to appear nude in any place open to the public or any place visible from a place open to the public."  No need for chair protection we guess...

So now Berkeley is more reasonable than San Francisco and L.A.? Has the last earthquake happened yet?

Finally, we get to the southern end of the loonie-tunes state.

LOS ANGELES  — A regulation brought by L.A. City Councilman Paul Koretz bans all single-use plastic and paper bags in L.A. supermarkets.

“It’d probably be good for the planet in the long run, but short-term I could see it being a nightmare,” shoppers noted.  Ya think?  Lets bring back the plague too - that should cut down on the riff-raff.

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Vegas Man Survives Fence Post Thru Mouth & Neck

"We're bringing in a patient with a foreign object impaled in his mouth."  Paramedics radioed en route to University Medical Center - trouble.

The 'foreign object' was a 2-inch diameter metal pole part of a fence driven through the man's mouth and out through his neck.

"I had never seen anything like it before," said Dr. Jay Coates of University Medical Center.  "How do you end up surviving a pipe going through your head like this?"

Pipe man is Andrew Linn, a student at Southern Utah University.  In 2008, a drunken driver hit Linn speeding at 75 mph. That time he 'only' suffered a neck injury that was repaired with minor surgery.

Linn, a devout Mormon, feels sure that the only reason he's alive today is because God has a purpose for him (his words).  A purpose that apparently involves surviving horrendous auto accidents and living to tell about it.

Gay Alliance Throws Hissy Fit

GLAAD, the Gay Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation is targeting Kirk Cameron, child star of TV's Growing Pains. It seems Kirk Cameron is a born-again Christian who thinks gays are an 'abomination before God'.

In July of 1991, Cameron married co-star Chelsea Noble who together have six children, four of whom were adopted.

'I think that it’s unnatural,' Cameron said. 'I think that it’s detrimental, and ultimately destructive to so many of the foundations of civilization.' Cameron of course thinks gay marriage violates the Creation story set in the Old Testament - Adam and Eve were the model, not Adam and Adam.

GLAAD's Herndon Graddick attacks Cameron questioning his career. Graddick goes on to defend gay marriage by citing the few blue states that have thus far passed it. Gay marriage will, of course, not be decided by the states now that California has managed drive the issue into the courts.

The 'war' between hard-core born-agains and hard-core gays will not be solved by new laws, or by the establishment of gay marriage. Neither 'side' is right, neither is wrong. Gays are not born, and born-agains cannot read the mind of God.  So lets go to neutral corners, live and let live shall we kids?

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