School Pay To Potty Policy Peeves Parents

Merchon Ortega says her daughter soiled herself when her teacher refused to let her go pee.

Merchon says, 'She (her daughter) chose not to pay to use the restroom and she had to go so bad, she said it hurt so bad that she just couldn't hold it anymore. She urinated on herself.'

So what's going on?

The 'teacher' runs a reward scam at Mill Plain Elementary in Vancouver. Her students earn fake money to be spent at a class auction at the end of the year. Soon added to the counterfeit scheme were bathroom breaks. The apparent motive was to make kids 'earn' their potty breaks allegedly to cut back on disrupting the class.

The school is defending the teacher. Wonder how long it takes for California copy the Canadian example?

Betcha the pay-for-pee program would be history if teachers and administrators had to play!

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113 Year Old Woman Weds 70 Year Old Boy Toy

The whole thing started when the diminutive centenarian handed some of her senior center food to the seventy year old youngster ogling her from across the table.

Six month later and more detail would be way too much information the 'kid' having repeated his proposal of marriage a half dozen times finally got her to say yes - before it was too late.

Bride Azatihan Sawuti said Wǒ zhèyàng zuò ('I Do') to Aimti Ahemti in a ceremony in Xinjiang province last week.  Now the pair can be seen walking arm and arm in what appears to be a marriage that may just go the distance.

The striking thing?  She doesn't look a day over ninety.

Azatihan kept refusing Aimti's advances because she 'felt ashamed to get married at such an old age.'   But Aimti knew what he wanted and didn't wanna take a chance losing her to one of the other ninety year olds.  'I started to chase her, like a young man,' the gushing groom confessed.

Just imagine, if the two had met sixty years ago, she'd be fifty-three and he's still be wetting the bed at ten.

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American Girl Stops Making Black And Asian Dolls

The race fascist are everywhere watching, waiting, ready to pounce on anyone for even THINKING in a way they judge unacceptable.

So when the popular doll making company American Girl stopped making the small selling black and Asian versions the race goblins rolled out from under their rocks and buried them with bitching.

The company said on Facebook, “Soon, we’ll say farewell to Marie-Grace, Cécile, Ruthi and Ivy...Complete your collection while supplies last—quantities are extremely limited.”

The problem?  Cécile is a black doll, and Ivy a generic Asian doll.  And the really fun part is how the little black doll looks more like a buck-toothed Hungarian farm girl who fell into a mud puddle than a kid playing in the streets of Detroit.   We won't comment on the Cossack looking Asian doll...

American Girl has more than twenty-three million dolls in the wild. Looks like the PC crowd is gonna have to keep on them 'till they cave, you know, like they always do...

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Krispy Kreme Whopper Debuts

Krispy Kreme is a fat-body's first choice when it comes to shocking sugar overload.  The porcine, portly, paunchy, potbellied, elephantines seen eating them is always extra tense.

So how can a cavalcade of the candied carbohydrate concoctions be topped?  How about a Krispy Kreme triple-deck cheese burger?

California fried food chain Chicken Charlie's is bringing Paula Deen's food fetish foolishness to the San Diego county fair next month. The only difference? Deen's original had fried eggs and bacon riding the beef instead of cheddar cheese. But points still shoved in your face...

Chicken Charlie's wants to be your fried food philanderers. For instance, the 'chefs' at Charlie's have made cholesterol contrivances from Girl Scout Cookies, Twinkies, Pop Tarts, Oreos, brownies and smores.

Disgusted?  Wait 'till you see what gets left on your shirt...

Teen Holds Breath Trashes Toyota In Tunnel

Danny Calhon, 19, of Snohomish, WA told the cops he blacked-out by holding his breath as he entered the long tunnel on Highway 26.

Danny's 25 year old Toyota crossed the centerline and crashed head-on into a Ford Explorer.  Like a deadly game of car-billiards, both cars smashed into the tunnel walls, then Danny's Toyota was struck by a pickup truck completing the dust, metal, screaming and pants pooping mess.

Why did Danny do it?  Superstitition.  Somehow dimwit Danny swallowed the myth that tunnel-breath-holding was a fools-proof way to get lucky.  Instead, Danny got three big insurance bills and three license-killing reckless driving, reckless endangerment and fourth-degree assault tickets.

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Man Arrested For Attempted Rape Of An ATM

Of all the bars in all the backwater towns in all the podunk places in America, Lonnie Hutton, 49 picked the ATM machine in The Boro Bar and Grill in Murfreesboro, TN do the dance with no pants and make a quick deposit.

A witness said Hutton entered the bar and made a bee line for the banking machine, 'pulled down his pants and underwear exposing his genitals .”

The police report cited, 'the suspect tried to have sexual intercourse with the ATM then began to walk ‘nude’ around the bar thrusting his hips in the air.'

Mr. Hutton was quickly escorted outside the bar and 'told to sit at a wooden picnic table.'  That's when Lonnie 'exposed himself again and engaged in sexual intercourse with the wooden picnic table.'

Oddly. Lonnie was only charged for being drunk in public, but not for whipping out his johnson and humping the cash machine and picnic table.  A picnic table?

Godzilla Water Tower Beats Hoover Dam

Electricity generation is a big deal.  The fuel to make the energy starts with coal as king, then nukes, then hydro, and way way down the list at under 1.5% of product is solar and wind.

And since Obama wants to kill coal.  You do the math on electricity costs.

The green goons waste taxpayer cast subsidizing species killing wind turbines, and unaffordable solar power and mutter their hatred for nukes and hydro too.

But hope and change may be on the way.  A hybrid alternative energy idea is taking shape in the desert in Arizona. The 'Solar Wind Energy Tower' will half a mile (2250 feet) high and generate as much power as the Hoover Dam.

The tower's cost will be a hefty $1.5 billion bucks. Which explains why no one has made one yet.

The idea is pretty simple. Water is pumped to the top of the tower using energy the tower itself generates. The water is dumped into hot air downdrafts inside the tower creating a 50 mph down force great enough to spin 120 turbines which in turn spin generators.

The sexy part?  Unlike solar and wind, the tower can make electricity 24hrs a day and do it without squirting C02 or shredding golden eagles.   Maybe Disney can put a water slide inside and justify an investment cause it doesn't look like Obama is ready for another try at venture capitalism.

Cops Corner 11-Year-Old's Lemonade Stand

Each year San Francisco stages the running-sore known as the Bay-To-Breakers.  But the debacle is locally known as the Bare-To-Breakers.

The cities hedonists get high, pee and poop in the streets, and dare the cops to do anything about it.  A few get arrested, a lot get cited, but one little girl who thought she would hand out lemonade and brownies got shutdown entirely.

The cops quickly surrounded the little girl while the naked and sweating paraded nearby.

That's when the Barney's threatened the child with a $1,500 fine.  Why?  Because the uniformed patrol said her stand was unfair to licensed commercial drinkeries like Starbucks and Dairy Queen.

Apparently the SF gendarmery are unable to tell the difference between a real public nuisances and a lemonade stand girl'd by a child giving away goodies.  SFPD Sgt Troy Dangerfield insists, "Just because they're kids doesn't mean they should get a free pass, you know?"

Well, there it is...Barney Fife is back on the job at the SFPD...

Gun Control For Dummies

The gun owners versus gun haters non shooting war pits the usual suspects against no less than  the US constitution.

Gun grabbing goons contend the clearly written right to own guns is more insidious than the derived right to abort a kid.  Nonsense.

An attack on gun rights is an attack on all rights, of course.

So who's telling the truth and who's just pounding sand and spitting into the wind?

Ponder these stats from 2008:

• Guns used in self-defense 2.5 million times during the year. Why if cops are enough?
• 200,000 women used a firearm to prevent being raped and worse...
• Armed citizens killed more killers than did the cops (1,527 v 606)
• States passing CCW laws in 2008 saw crime rate drops for murder 8.5% and rape 5%
• Anyone in Vermont can own a gun.  Vermont is the safest state in the USA.
• Florida passed CCW in 1987.  The murder rate dropped from 1st to 41st
• Cities with strict gun control like DC and Chicago have the nations highest murder rates
• Felons say known gun owners are avoided

Can a list of cold statistics prove guns protect people and save innocent life?   Well, ya.

But the salient point remains - guns are a right.  And every deception, diversion, device or duplicitous distortion will not succeed in diminishing or deleting that right.

Next time a gun grabber gets in your face pull out your copy of the Bill of Rights and quiz - do ya feel lucky punk?  Well, do ya?

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Obama Blows Up Welfare Spending

The Obama train wreck continues to pile up bodies along the route and at the stations. Vets, cancer patients, and the poor.

Under Obama the poverty rate has climbed to an astounding 15.5% population. There are over 80 million on one or more of the nine distinct welfare programs chewing up a trillion bucks a year; an increase of 40% under Ofail.

So why aren't blacks upset about cheap labor coming from Mexico in the middle of a depression?  Ah, perhaps because the largest single group, 39% of those on government cheese are black despite being only 12% of the general population. 

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DC Schools: 83% Lack Literacy

The latest data from the National Center for Education Statistics shows DC schools are failing ferociously.  In 2013 fully 83% of the DC eighth graders were not "proficient" in reading and 81% were not "proficient" in math.  Dead last in both subjects.

Sure DC is a city, but they don't fare any better against other large cities in the US either.  Worse?  DC spends more per student than any other schools system, state or city, some $29,349 per student.

So what's going on?

Well, DC is dominated by Democrats and poorly run.  Once upon a time, vouchers and Michelle Rhee gave DC a chance for redemption.   Then the city got rid of Ms Rhee because she challenged the status quo and the public school teachers unions - a capital crime in public education.

Got a kid in DC schools?  Good luck...

NAACP: Sterling Out Sharpton In

The NAACP was perfectly happy giving their 'Lifetime Achievement Award'  to Don Sterling - at least up to the point Sterling was recorded by his bimbo girlfriend.

Bimbo: Do you know that you have a whole team that's black, that plays for you?

Sterlin: ...do I know? I support them and give them food, and clothes, and cars, and houses...Who makes the game? Do I make the game, or do they make the game? Is there 30 owners, that created the league? 

Then the NAACP fired the guy that ran their Los Angeles office, you know, because they blamed him for setting up the award.  Then promptly pivoted zero degrees and gave the award to, did you guess? Al Sharpton!

Sharpton punked Sterling during his goofy speech, and so did LA Mayor Al Garcetti sputtering, 'No matter who commits acts of racism--whether it’s a billionaire or somebody in our poorest neighborhoods--we have to speak out against it.'

Seems short memories prevail.  So to review recall Al's false race charges in the Tawana Brawley case, inciting anti-Jewish mobs in New York in the 1990s, and fanning racial outrage in the Trayvon Marin case.  True, Sharpton's not a billionaire, but he is a tax cheat.

Guess the NAACP still likes hypocrisy.  Surprise!

Ice Cream Truck Tune Tagged Racist

Obama started the race 'thang' to get elected in 2008.   Since then, the race card has morphed into a full fledged Black Scare that's taken root like the Red Scare did in the 1950s.

Now we all live under fear of saying something wrong.  But did you think the absurdity would touch your kid's ice cream?

A DC writer says he was researching racial stereotypes one day when he discovered that the tune played on ice cream trucks is based on an old minstrel song from the 19th century. 

The title of the song was, 'Nigger Love A Watermelon Ha! Ha! Ha!'

The author admits the original melody came from Britain entitled 'The Old Rose Tree.'  But insists the tune has been tainted because it was used by black-face minstrel shows and imbued with horrific race-based lyrics that by today's standards would get you imprisoned or worse...

The tune... *Warning, you'll be haunted for days.

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Himalayan Glaciers Growing

Obama is crippling US energy and wiping out jobs in the name of global warming.

Did we mention Barry's daughter Malia is in Mexico on a spring break by herself partying on two government jets with 25 secret service staff and 12 personal friends?  Cricket sound...

Obama didn't read the NASA satellite survey showing heat escaping into space nullifying climate alarmist models.

And no doubt Obama will skip the new study just released showing Himalayan glaciers - for years one of the poster kids of the "man-made global warming is real and we're all doomed" movement - are in no imminent danger.

The study found that just 12% of the glaciers had any measurable melt at all, the rest are stable and even growing.  Remember, the UN IPCC in 2007 said the Himalayan glaciers could disappear 'by 2035.'

We will wait to see if the IPCC retracts the false claim.  But then again, don't hold your breath.

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Cannibal Cop Gets Chefs Job In Jail

Gilberto Valle was convicted in federal court over a year ago for conspiring to kidnap, murder, cook and eat women.

So he's 'killing time' in the Metropolitan Correctional Center in lower Manhattan waiting for a judge to to grant him a new trial.

Fine.

So what's 30-year-old Gil up to while cooling his heels in jail?  You didn't guess it - he's  making $.44 an hour slicing, dicing and cooking breakfast and lunch for guards and inmates.

Valle's tenure as a NYPD cop was cut short when his wife found disturbing photos on their shared computer.  But that still doesn't explain how a knucklehead warden hired the cannibal as a cook.

This one isn't poetic or humorous. It's just plain dumb.

Media Liberals Morose, Maudlin, Mawkish And Mourning

The founders wanted a ferocious press.  Why?

- Protect Citizens.  Money, power, bigotry or intimidation must play no role in news reporting.

- Watchdog.  Expose crime and corruption. The public interest over politics.

- Dig deep.  The press must expose and pursue truth.

But suppose the press fails to perform?   

The Obama leg-humping press has given the Obama regime a free reign to lie, scheme, manipulate, threaten and intimidate.  The result is an ever ignored liberal media.

And guess who's upset about it?  Liberal journalists themselves.  Compared to 1971 (the Watergate era), 49% of journalists said they were 'very satisfied' with their job.  Now, after five years of Obama failure only 23% can say they like their jobs.   

A full 59% of 'journalists' say their careers are going in the 'wrong direction.'  Anyone feel sorry for them?

Positive Pregnancy Tests Sold Online

Unscrupulous sellers and buyers are engaged in a tawdry practice men should become aware of, and fast...  There are predatory women willing to hunt, corner, trap, and trick men into matrimony.  And there are pregnant women happy to help them out.

One Dallas mom who refused to identify herself put her positive pregnancy tests for sale online admitting: 'ninety-five percent of the girls just want to lie to get a man.'

The lubricious ladies should, however, be advised .  If men uncover the deception, they can easily get out of any marriage or marriage promise based on fraud. 

And suppose one of these feeble femme fatales decides to go swallow the entire enchilada and use the test to blackmail a married cuckold?  Well, that's full blown blackmail, a federal crime punishable by a long term stay with grizzly Griselda the prisoner scaring even the male guards.

FBI: Gangs Cause 50-90% Of All Crime

The Democrats get everything backward and even insist on being wrong.  Recent examples include Obamacare, appeasement of Putin, global warming, and the really giant-big boner - gun control.

Even Benghazi Hillary started spitting on gun owners yesterday.  She freaked out the left-wingers in the press because they know the public wants gun control goons to keep their grimy mitts off the 2nd amendment.

The truth is much simpler.  Gun violence is the result of illegal guns, and criminals who get and use them despite the complex and overbearing system law-abiding citizens must endure. 

The FBI 2011 National Gang Assessment provides hard evidence that between 50 and 90 percent of all crime is gang related.  Within those grim statistics are the bulk of firearm crimes.

The dishonesty and dysfunction comes from liberals who see a bigger problem with gun rights than a derived right to kill kids in the womb.  The regressives can't solve gang violence, so they pick on innocent people who choose to own guns for sport and self-defense.

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Hamas TV Tells Kids To Shoot Jews

Radical Islam is prepping their next generation of maniacal killers using television to brainwash kids.

The video here should be required viewing in the Obama whitehouse.  While Obama is deflecting his failures in yet another alarmist game of climate hocum Islam continues to plan and propagandize.

On the Hamas children's program Tomorrow's Pioneers host Rawan tells a little girl who wants to grow up to be a cop that she should use her police authority to shoot 'all the Jews.'  And the extra fun part?  No station management, no parent watching, not even the cops called in to complain.

In Hamas land it's Mr Jew Haters Neighborhood and the toys are loaded with live ammo.

Medicine: Exploding Head Syndrome

In case you hadn't heard there's a new designer neurosis hitting streets this week.  So get ready to suffer from 'Exploding Head Syndrome' or EHS as they say in the trades. 

EHS people 'hear' loud noises just as they fall asleep or are about to wake up.

What noises? How about giant-loud explosions, fireworks, slamming doors, gun fire, lion roars, blood-curdling screams, thunder claps, steam whistles, volcanic eruptions, NHRA races, or the Tunguska Meteor impact which made a 400 decibel sound in 1908.

The noises start suddenly and last for a few seconds. But that's long enough say doctors to get a flash of bright light like a near death experience. Only you wake up in a puddle of your own sweat and poop and can't find your glasses for a few seconds.

Doctors say EHS seems to affect women over 50 more than men of any age. Which could explain why grandma hits the kitchen at 4am and wakes everyone up with her humming, TV watching, pan banging, farting and it's still dark outside and ya gotta big meeting 4 hours later at 8 am.

Oh yea, you guessed it. There's a pill for it of course.

Obama Wants Global Warming Resistant Farm Animals

The Obama regime is hellbent on jamming global warming down the country's collective throat.

Ranging from billions wasted on bankrupt solar companies to the wholesale slaughter of bald eagles sliced up by windmills to blocking the job making Keystone pipeline Barry's own state department says is swell, the outrage continues...

But did you think Ofail would fund African trips to find 'climate change resistant' farm animals?

A crack team of researchers from the University of Delaware traveled to Africa to do just that, and all of it on taxpayer dime.   The researchers claimed to be in the vanguard of food scientists racing (like a nutritionist NASCAR event) to get new breeds of farm animals able to stand up to the horrific effects of alleged global warming.

Ag Secretary Tom Vilsack (aka Tom Nutsack) says, 'we are dealing with the challenge of difficult weather conditions at the same time we have to massively increase food production.'  A tame way of saying global warming is real and somehow the warming and extra rain will kill crops?  Huh?

Are we looking for chickens with humps like camels?  Or are we just witnessing massive crippling debt blown on goose chases to feed the orgasmic fantasies of the green mafia?

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Racist: UC Davis Blocks Cinco de Drinko Party

The PC Nazis struck hard and fast on the UC Davis campus in California when they got wind of a giant pre-Cinco-de-Mayo fest planned for yesterday.  Ya know, because the blowout was being called Cinco de Drinko and that's, well ya know, 'racially insensitive.'

The race Gestapo are just coming off a blood-orgy last week over the illegal 'racist rant' tape made public by Don Sterling's Mexican slut girlfriend.

So don't let anyone screw with the made up holiday not even Mexico celebrates.  You did know Cinco De Mayo was invented by beer and liquor companies as an excuse to peddle extra quantities of libation during a lull in the holiday season before summer arrives, right?

Adela de la Torre, vice chancellor of student affairs, said an investigation has been launched aimed at slapping internal sanctions on the students behind the party.   Seriously, Adela?  How about slapping deportation on illegal aliens sneaking into classes at the school?

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7.2 Billion People Piled At Grand Canyon

Wanna get a handle on just how covered the planet is with people?  Do you imagine all the good places gone and little room left for your brood?  Think again...

Graphic visualization expert Eesmyal Santos-Brault scaled and piled ass 7.2 billion humans alive right this minute.

Eesmyal squeezed in every man, woman, child and 'other' into an anatomically correct cone of arms, legs, torso and heads planted near the Colorado river in the middle of the Grand Canyon. The top point of the pile only reaches half as high as the mile-high rim of the canyon and covers one relatively small spot.  What?

Eesmayal says the steaming mass of flesh tilts the scales at a svelte 406 million tons but is still dwarfed by one of the few instantly recognizable features seen from space - the canyon itself.

In comparison, the tallest building in the world is the Burj Khalifa in Dubai towering a stunning 2,717 feet and presses down on it's foundation with a hefty 500,000 tons. The cone of all humans would be just 100 feet taller, but weigh 800 times as much.

Guess there's a lot of short people and millions of  tons of fat asses in the world.

San Francisco Launches 'Hook-Up Truck'

San Francisco is far and away the most decadent, salacious, looney-tunes place in the world.  Not just because a gargantuan gaggle of gays live there but more because it's secular liberal central.

The whole narcissistic pant-load that came from the hippie movement in the city's Haight-Ashbury district, like herpes, took root and will never leave.

So, is it much of a shocker that San Francisco launched what it calls an 'art installation' sex truck?

The Hook-Up truck is a brothel on wheels.  The van of inequity includes temperature controls, bowls of birth control, sexual aids, and a camera option, you know, so you can capture your magic moment taking a break from clothes shopping on Market Street.

And to make sure customers don't leave anything behind, there are no beds or bedding.  Instead, a stain-resistant custom-built metal-and-wood bench covered with vinyl welcomes and repulses you at the same time.

The Hook-Up truck builders says they checked and they're pretty sure it's legal.  Oh, then why not, right?

Study: Chicken Bone Chewing Kids More Aggressive

Social science is faux science the same way political science pretends politics is worthwhile.   Maybe a black studies professor can explain why.

Researchers at Cornell U studied chicken eating youngsters.  The 'professionals' concluded kids who eat chicken on the bone are more likely to disobey adults and be aggressive.

Versus what?  Boiling a live black bear and eating it hair and all?

The researchers say six to ten year olds who hold food in their hands and bite are more ferocious than tots who lick and spit, apparently.

They also claim kids spoon fed diced up chunks of chicken were more docile and didn't poopee their pants as much.  Good grief...

Not everyone bites.  "I think people have been eating chicken wings, chicken drumsticks for a millennia and I don't think it's made them any more aggressive than they otherwise would have been," clinical psychologist Dr. Brian Russell notes.

Wanna bet Brian doesn't get invited to the conference now?