Medicine: Exploding Head Syndrome

In case you hadn't heard there's a new designer neurosis hitting streets this week.  So get ready to suffer from 'Exploding Head Syndrome' or EHS as they say in the trades. 

EHS people 'hear' loud noises just as they fall asleep or are about to wake up.

What noises? How about giant-loud explosions, fireworks, slamming doors, gun fire, lion roars, blood-curdling screams, thunder claps, steam whistles, volcanic eruptions, NHRA races, or the Tunguska Meteor impact which made a 400 decibel sound in 1908.

The noises start suddenly and last for a few seconds. But that's long enough say doctors to get a flash of bright light like a near death experience. Only you wake up in a puddle of your own sweat and poop and can't find your glasses for a few seconds.

Doctors say EHS seems to affect women over 50 more than men of any age. Which could explain why grandma hits the kitchen at 4am and wakes everyone up with her humming, TV watching, pan banging, farting and it's still dark outside and ya gotta big meeting 4 hours later at 8 am.

Oh yea, you guessed it. There's a pill for it of course.