Man Arrested For Attempted Rape Of An ATM

Of all the bars in all the backwater towns in all the podunk places in America, Lonnie Hutton, 49 picked the ATM machine in The Boro Bar and Grill in Murfreesboro, TN do the dance with no pants and make a quick deposit.

A witness said Hutton entered the bar and made a bee line for the banking machine, 'pulled down his pants and underwear exposing his genitals .”

The police report cited, 'the suspect tried to have sexual intercourse with the ATM then began to walk ‘nude’ around the bar thrusting his hips in the air.'

Mr. Hutton was quickly escorted outside the bar and 'told to sit at a wooden picnic table.'  That's when Lonnie 'exposed himself again and engaged in sexual intercourse with the wooden picnic table.'

Oddly. Lonnie was only charged for being drunk in public, but not for whipping out his johnson and humping the cash machine and picnic table.  A picnic table?