Detroit Becomes Zombie Theme Park

Detroit is an urban wasteland filled with all thats unholy in America. 

In 1950 Detroit peaked at 1.5 million industrious souls.  Since then Detroit has become poor black and gang central. The poverty stricken, undereducated, crime-ridden, drug-taking parasites of society.

The largest urban shell in the USA spawns an entrepreneur with an idea.  Fence off the decaying city and add zombies.  Charge the public to wander the dilapidated streets filled with actors dressed as the walking dead.  A kind of apocalyptic apoplexy of awe.

Hypster Mark Siwak wants to create live-action terror theme park out of whats left of the city, but critics are pissed complaining the idea takes advantage of Detroit's plight.Take advantage of plight?  Only a left wing goon would phrase it that way.

The idea mimics Atlanta's Zombie Apocalypse, where thrill-seekers wield paint ball guns to play hide-and-seek with undead zombies in a formerly abandoned truck stop.

Is anyone really surprised? Once upon a time in America the dream was to create shining cities on a hill. Conquer poverty and disease. Today it's all about bailouts and waiting in line for a jobless check..  

Dutch Hold Steve Jobs iYacht Hostage

One of the last things Steve Jobs was working on was a giant modernistic all aluminum iMac controlled teak decked 'green' iYacht.

The 'project' was five years in the making and Jobs himself spent an inordinate amount of time making sure the French designer now trying to rip off his estate did what he wanted.

"The yacht has been impounded," lawyer Roelant Klaassen representing French designer Philippe Starck.  Phil says there are two unpaid bill totaling $9 million bucks owed to him. 

The full frieght on the 230 foot iYacht which looks scarily a lot like a modern version of Noah's ark cost well north of $130 million bucks and took over a year longer to build than Jobs lived.

And since Steve and Phil were pals during most of the effort, there was no formal contract drawn-up spelling out Phil's fee - surprise!

Will Job's three kids and widowed wife ever set foot on the sweeping teak poop deck? Or will Phil the Frenchman have the tin-can craft crushed into a million iPhones out of spite?

Stay tuned.

Small Boobs Need Not Apply

Remember the Seinfeld where Elaine files a complaint with the city over her contention Monk's cafe was hiring hyper endowed hostesses.   Elaine confronts Monk's owner.   The waitresses are sisters, daughters of the proprietor.  The hiring was not about boobs, it was about the family gene pool.

Real life imitates art.  Barbara Mann was HR Director at Sunbury Medical Associates. Ms Mann claims she was fired for complaining about CEO David Savell’s directing her to base hiring on rack size not job skills.

If true, both Savell and Sunbury Medical have some 'splain'n to do. Investigators seem to be concentrating on Mann rather than figuring out how big is big and sending the waitresses thru TSA scanners.

And why not have boobs behind a serving tray?  Hooters has an entire business model based on the idea.  Besides wouldn't it be bad to bar bold breasted bombshells from bringing burgers?

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Public Teddy Bear Masturbator Arrested

How about a nifty, nutty, numbskull story about a guy that can't keep his willy out of his teddy bear?   Weenie waver stories are not new, but this one has an odd lint filled tawdry tone.

Charles Marshall, 28, got a FOURTH ticket for 'masturbating with a stuffed animal' in an alley near the Elm Street Health Clinic in Cincinnati, Ohio.

Charlie's childhood must have been a zoo.

Charlie's obsession for soiling teddy bears is not inhibited by fines or jail it seems. One judge banned Charlie from public libraries where he frequenting the restroom choking both bear and chicken and being none too bashful about it.

So there is a law against 'public masturbation with a stuffed animal?' Ohio lawmakers must have been seen other perps along the stuffed toy lines to come up with this one.

Charlie's supply of teddy bears seems to be inexhaustible. How about a restraining order keeping him out of Toys-R-Us?  Charlie might get worse and attack a real bear in a public zoo - oh oh, that would be bad.

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Obama Burial Urn Turns Heads

Finally, an enterprising urn company entrepreneur has figured out how to scare the bah-geezus out of mausoleum visitors.

Cremation Solutions in Vermont is using facial recognition software and 3D printers to create urns with human faces. The company says all it needs is a picture front and side of the 'occupant.'

The urn, left, was made to show-off the product. Kinda odd they chose Obama don'cha think?

Each urn is built to order.  For instance a customer may want to add a cigar (Bill Clinton), or maybe a mustard stain on the side of the mouth to get that extra 'what Dad had before his heart gave out' last meal touch.

Filling cemeteries with hundreds of 'realistic dead heads' will surely keep the living away. After all who wants to visit a park full of plastic heads...

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Wacky Wife Sprays Spouse For Gas-Passing

Shannon Manatis, 41 had had enough. Hubby Michael laughed as he lifted a leg and let the dank dogs of duodenum out.  The rank sulfuric scent wafted rapidly filling the room with an odor so pungent Shannon says her throat started convulsing in a gag reflex.

Shannon decided to get even. She picked up a can of lemon-scented Lysol and started to empty the contents aerosoling a thick mist room-wide. Michael wiping lemon Lysol from his eyes grabbed a bottle of water and started to dump H2O on Shannon.

After the bottle was emptied Michael grabbed his cell phone and bolted for the front door. Once outside, Michael sucking fresh air into his lemon-singed lungs and dialed 911.

The cops took command interrogating each in strict police procedure in order to extract who sprayed what when and at what point did the water and tea enter the picture.

Michael's version has Shannon assaulting him by spraying him in the eyes with Lysol - the farting part not mentioned. Shannon's version has Michael attacking her with a water bottle and a cup of tea - the Lysol part not listed.

The cops, unable to determine criminal conduct made no arrest.  Both were admonished to avoid each other while Michael's malicious intestinal forces settled back to 'normal.'  The cops confiscated Shannon's remaining supply of Lysol.

Case closed - for now.

Women: Fake Orgasms, Road Rage And Cigars

Women are an enigma.  Women wanted to be free to vote, have sex like men, drive a car, and smoke cigars.  They won, women get to do all that and more.  But what have women done with their hard fought freedoms?

A survey of 50,000 in the USA, UK, and Australia say 25% of women fake orgasm, 30% say orgasm is no problem, 27% say they have no sex at all.

About 67% of women say their guy can get fat.  But 50% of men would leave her at a bus stop for ballooning-out.

Oddly, just 44% of women want to marry compared to 70% for men.  And oh yea, 61% of women say they have had road rage compared to 56% for the males.  Thus, making women more prone to violence and less willing to tie the knot?  Isn't that wrong?

Women are also smoking more so the fairer sex has added lung cancer, heart disease, and emphysema to their exclusive disease-list risks for ovarian and breast cancer.

Congratulation ladies, after 50 years of liberation you won!

Fat Friends Make You Fat

Researchers from Loyola University found thin students who make fat friends grow fatter.  The opposite was also true.  Thin students with thin friends stayed thin, and even lost weight.

The principle is similar to pet owners who come to resemble their pets.

The study indicates that members of social groups mimic behavior and appearance even to the point of molding a fat body. 'Our results support the operation of both homophily and influence,' said Dr David Shoham.

Homophily?   That's when people find and bond with others like themselves.  So, if you want to stay thin, get thin, be confident you can one day be thin stay away from people who look more like a hippo than a gazelle.

Use the same wisdom combating any anti-social, unhealthy life-style choice.  Choose friends as carefully as you choose a spouse, a pet, a house, a car, or a job.  But if you are already one of the 'ugly' or 'fat' ones yourself then you are the desperate one groping for higher quality - good luck.

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Pandemic To Strike Honolulu, LA and NYC First

MIT researchers have analyzed and now predict which airport hubs will spread a pandemic virus first.

The virus will spread in the USA from three points simultaneously, Honolulu International, LAX, and Kennedy in NYC. The volume of air traffic is not the primary factor. If that were true, Chicago O'Hare and Atlanta would trump Honolulu. The Hawaii connection arises due to it's location between Asia and LAX.

The Angle has reported on the disturbing research in Holland sponsored by the National Institutes of Health USA (NIH) and the subsequent publishing of the work detailing the creation of airborne H5N1 bird flu virus in the lab.

The pandemic will wipe out 85% of those who contract H5N1. Estimates range from between 200 million to 500 million deaths worldwide are likely. But why with all our modern medical advances can such a mass death occur? Simple. Air travel combined with an airborne virus that has an 85% mortality rate.

The first detection of the airborne version of H5N1 will no doubt occur in Asia. And when it does, if you live near the three aforementioned airports, you are doomed. The virus will already be in the air near you. And forget thinking you will escape because you are young and strong, H5N1 is an equal opportunity killer wiping out young and old in the same ferocious way.

End of the world on Friday, folks.

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Science Solves Sleeping Male Syndrome

Why do men nod off after sex?  The question has plagued woman-kind since cave days.  Well, now we know.

Neuroscientist Serge Stoleru head of research for Inserm says, ‘...after men have an orgasm they usually experience a refractory period (excitement lapse) when they cannot be aroused...for women it seems to be different...[they lack]  a refractory period and may be asking for more when their partners just want a rest.’

Okay get out the Nobel; hurry before Serge falls asleep! The first complaint women have is being left behind, awake, undone. Some women even interpret the snooze reaction to full frontal rejection leaving THEM feeling somehow inadequate. So what gives?

Serge quickly adds that men get flooded with prolactin (zaps dopamine wiping out arousal) and serotonin (anti depressant). Earlier research pinpointed a blood rush after orgasm depleting the muscles of energy-producing glycogen. Since men have higher muscle density, they become extra tired after sex. You now - limp.

This information can be used in a couple of ways.  First, women can give themselves a break since the chemical culprit is to blame not the extra work needed to fire her up.  Second, men should apologize ahead of time, after all, it's gonna happen anyway so might as well clear the path to guilt-free slumber.

So, men get to sleep guilt-free and women still get to lay awake wondering why they bother at all.

Android Phone Controlled Toilet

The Japanese were bathing centuries before Europeans.  Heck, they still take off their shoes before entering a house.  So it makes sense the Japanese would be first to bring a toilet that washes your butt AND tests your poop for problems in the same sit-down.

The phrase 'a solution looking for a problem' best describes the Lixil toilet.

The user can flush and lower the lid from an Android smart phone.  Even more bizarre, the toilet is equipped with a bio-lab for sampling doodoo and peepee in realtime.

Don't be shocked to learn the microprocessor-laden crapper keeps track of user music choices, squirting-water jets, and utility bills.

Warning: This is one appliance you had better read and understand EVERY WORD and ponder EVERY ILLUSTRATION in the User Manual before sitting your narrow ass down!

In the end, the Japanese apparently have run out of things to do.  Next look for web sex so you don't have to be there yourself - you can just phone it in.

Guinness: 528-lb Female Sex-Hose Beast

Guinness says “World’s Fattest Woman” is Pauline Potter.

Aside from tipping the scales at over 500 pounds the massive lady lost 98-lbs during a self-reported sex marathon with her ex-husband Alex.

Pauline's ex-hubby did not leave her due to her absurd size, but because he didn't get along with her son.  When the goof read that Pauline 'won' the Guinness record for world's fattest female he hurried back - and that's when all the 'big' bumping started.

'I hadn’t had sex in three years,' Pauline confessed, 'but we did it six times...he took charge as I couldn’t move much, but he was so attentive. I orgasm every time.” Pauline's sex confessions are way to much information, but wait....

Alex weighs-in at a fragile 140-lbs.  Starting to get the impression now?

“It’s hard to position her and find her pleasure spots as she has a lot of fat in the pelvic area,” Alex illuminates. “But it turns me on knowing she’s satisfied. Although once, when she got on top, I couldn’t breathe.”

There it is, Alex is like a male version of a death star circling the sun in a cellophane wet suit. Pauline is using Alex like a Pilates exercise machine. “I still eat Big Macs, but I’ll choose between fries or nuggets,” Pauline said. “I tell Alex he needs to visit more so he can help me shed the pounds quicker.”

Heads-up Alex in case you missed the obvious. Get your narrow rear outta there before you wake up squashed under a quarter ton of female flattening you like a coke can under a car tire.

Encourage Pauline to get a gastric bypass instead.  Nature did not have you two in mind when the sex dealie was setup.

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Homeless Free To Pee, Poop and Panhandle

Despite California's massive wealth and giagantic tax base the state has more poverty, welfare/food stamp takers, and homeless than all other states combined.

And San Francisco has more of that plight than any other city in the country.

San Francisco spends over $200 million a year on more than 10,000 homeless who now own the municipal sidewalks, streets, underpasses and parks.

Did you know the homeless have carte-blanche RIGHTS to:

• Sleep anywhere they want including on sidewalks, benches, and in public toilets
• 24 hour access to public facilities in any public building
• Free syringes and needles
• Live in cars parked indefinitely on city streets
• Dumpster dive withtout molestation by police
• Urinate and defecate wherever they want - even on public sidewalks
• Get cash welfare payments freeing them to buy cigs and booze with handout money
• Unrestricted panhandling, mooning and undress
• When busted; get 100% compensation for their junk if seized
• Can refuse bed, food, or shelter
• Get a free lawyer even if too addled to communicate with one

The fun part?  Tax paying citizens do not have access to the same set of privileges.  Ya gotta be poor and smelly to get the pass.

Women Poor Pickers Of Playmates

Women should hire a pro to pick their potential life-mates.  The methodology females use to select their sad-sacks is sordidly suspicious.

Match.com has an annual 'Love Geist' report which tries to guess what their customers are looking for.  The gist of the slide-set is that women shift their preferences as they get older.

The Angle has decoded the euphemistic mess Match.com has concocted.  Read theirs here, then compare to ours below.

18-24orsomes are superficial and silly.  These under-baked women want a guy that can impress their girlfriends more than meet their emotional needs.  If the guy can dance, and sports a six-pack under his farm-aid-tee-shirt he is getting access to the goodies.

25-34ish females want a guy with a Lamborghini.  These women are suckers for the 'players' pitch.  Such women are prone to bed a guy as a career move. Then get fired the next day for 'smell like sex' at the office.

35-44ers women are panicked.  They have mis-selected more than once and stand confused why they are about to pass the 'fertile' fail-safe point without a decent guy to spoon at night.  These women are doomed to even more superficial one-nighters, beer-bums, weed-wonks, and dead-ends.

45-54ores are resigned.  The men they want do not exist.  They laughably look for  unmarried, successful, mature, balanced, un-needy, healthy and undamaged men ready to settle down.  Are you serious ladies?

55-sitting life out as a single woman.  Women over 55 want a guy that makes them laugh AND ignores their widening waistlines, down-angled areolas, and hot flashes.  By now these women have taken a lifetime to fail finding a soulmate so they become picky.  In other words, they're gonna die with a house full of cats.  And end by taking more pride in an herb garden than a grandchild.

Match.com's report is a sales brochure.  The report is written to please their customers.  The Angle does not operate under such delusion or sales quotas.

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Study: Women A Pile Of Sex Parts

The European Journal of Social Psychology verifies what advertising execs have known for 100 years.

That 'people' see women as boobs, legs, and asses.  Not as a whole persons. In contrast, men are seen as a morphous, singular chunk of knuckle-dragging meat-eaters.

Men are one item, women a collection of orifices, fluids, and sex goodies.

The participant pool was evenly divided between men and women. Regardless of their gender, subjects saw men more "globally" and women more "locally." 

"We can't just pin this on the men. Women are perceiving women this way, too," researcher Gervais said. "It could be related to different motives. Men might be doing it because they're interested in potential mates, while women may do it as more of a comparison with themselves. But what we do know is that they're both doing it."

Researchers said the 'negative' perception of women could be changed, but they didn't say how. Isn't that special?

Men may now shed guilt over this, and women are no longer allowed to point a finger at the men; they do it too. So neener, neener, neener...

MD Exodus Over Obamacare

Get ready, get set, good luck finding a doctor in 2013.

The Doctor Patient Medical Association (DPMA) surveyed 700 MDs nationwide and found a majority will close their practice after Obamacare is in place.

That's the not the bad news.  The really bad news is the USA already faces a 90,000 doctor shortage by 2020. And by 2025 the shortage exceeds 130,000.  Despite the new exodus taking place.

“Doctors clearly understand what Washington does not — that a piece of paper that says you are ‘covered’ by insurance or ‘enrolled’ in Medicare or Medicaid does not translate to actual medical care...” says DPMA cofounder Kathryn Serkes.

Of course the AMA and AAFP are silent - they endorse Obamacare.

C'mon folks is this rocket science? Did anyone expect these guys to bend over and take 50 million new patients at cut-rates? Apparently the Obama voters think so - but then they aren't  thinking, are they...

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Homeless Guy Crushed In A Dumpster

People joke about the homeless jumping into dumpsters scavanging food scraps and looking for a warm place to dumpster-down.  But the dangers inherent in screwing around in the garbage bins are real.

Hapless and homeless, 41-year-old Chad Adams was snoozing in one such dumpster when a compactor arrived to pick it up.

The truck lifted the dumpster and started to compact the garbage.  That's when Adams woke up and started to scream.

Quickly pulled from the refuse, Adams went into cardiac arrest.  Sadly, Adams died a short time later while having surgery at John Peter Smith Hospital.

The Medical Examiner said Adams died of crush injuries to his pelvis.

A warning label on the dumpster would not have saved Mr. Adams.   When it's 20f outside the homeless are gonna chance it anyway.  Can you blame them?

Hair Grow Miracle Turns Guy Into Girl

A bald guy claims the drug Propecia (Finasteride) hair grow and prostate deflater turned him to the dark side.

William McKee, center left, wanted hair not boobs. Bill said the drug made his boobs feel frisky so he became a cross dresser, loaded up on female hygiene products and insisted on being called Mandi.

Bill says 'my rock hard chest...began to soften reaching the point where I had noticeable breasts even under my clothing...the thing is… I didn’t take finasteride to become a woman. I took it to prevent male-pattern hair loss (baldness)...'

Bill lamented the transition from man to woman made him consider suicide. Yet kept swallowing the pills!

'My entire life has fallen apart in a slow and agonizing downward spiral that led me on a roller coaster ride of depression, anxiety, panic attacks, a severe and disabling loss of focus and concentration...,' yet he kept downing those pills!

Bill took the pills for nine months. As his boobs got larger and his hips got wider some might wonder, why keep taking the drug?  Oh yea. Mandi is suing to get a sex change and he/she wants the drug company to pay for it.

Merck, the drug’s maker, said, 'No causal relationship has been established between Propecia and persistent sexual side effects.'

Hint to the goofballs out there taking this drug to grow hair...if your nipples start to get erect watching Olympic wrestling STOP TAKING THE PILLS! And learn to live with your bald head idiot!

Fusion Reactors Two Years To Reality

Our 4.57 billion year old sun is a fusion reactor. 

All life, light, energy, everything on earth that crawls, creeps, and clings owes it's existence to the sun's fusion of hydrogen nuclei into helium.

Fusion is easily the answer to mankind's insatiable and infinitely growing need for cost-effective energy.  


Once a controlled fusion reaction is lit on Earth, all other sources of energy become academic.
Oil, coal, wind, wave, and solar are picking at the edges of the suns fusion furnace and are a faint remnant of original energy from the sun.

Nuclear fusion occurs when atomic nuclei join together, or "fuse", to form a single heavier nucleus.   The beauty of fusion is that it uses hydrogen (heavy water Deuterium and Tritium) as fuel snarking out helium and a loose neutron with about 20 mega-electron-volt of energy as waste.  Both elements are harmless to man. And even more convenient, hydrogen is the most abundant element on Earth. 

On July 5, Lawrence Labs fired an array of 192 lasers with a combined pulse of ultraviolet light generating 500 trillion watts of peak power. The pulse duration was 23 billionths of a second. The laser array was not firing 'at' a target - but within two years, scientists will fire the 192 lasers at a 1mm pellet of hydrogen.

Ignition of the 'pellet' will start a self-sustaining fusion reaction that will release vast amounts of energy far surpassing the 'break even' point.  The obvious result would alter the entire geo-political-energy profile of the planet, nearly overnight.

But not everyone is happy.

Greenpeace complains research into fusion diverts funding from wind and wave power. Be glad Greenpeace and the loons that man their rubber boats are not working the problem. If Columbus had listened to Greenpeace our ancestors would have been around for the Black Death and none of us would be here now.

(Note. Into physics? Fusion of Deuterium with Tritium creating Helium-4, freeing a neutron, and releasing 17.59 MeV of energy ends the oil and coal industries, so be prepared for a fight!) 

Science: Early Death Test Predictor

Are you 50 to 80 years old?  Toss your walker and take the test..

A science team tested more than 2,000 men and women in Brazil for flexibility and power to weight. The spry guys and gals able to perform the two actions using minimum support were five to six times at lower risk of death than those who needed to use aids such as their hands and knees.

Sit cross-legged on the floor. Now rise to a standing position using nothing more than your feet and legs. If you roll to your knees first, or prop yourself with a hand or elbow you are in trouble.

Study leader Dr Claudio Arazjo adds more insight, 'If a middle-aged or older man or woman can sit and rise from the floor...without the help of a hand - they are not only in the higher quartile of musculo-skeletal fitness but their survival prognosis is probably better than that of those unable to do so.'

This is a test you should do with someone else around just in case you fall on your face or crack a knee and end up soiling yourself because no one is around to help you get up.

And if you fail don't fret. There are plenty of other reasons you are gonna die, not being able to stand up like a 20-year old at a porn premier is not a lifetime achievement remember.  Or is your memory already going too?

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