Study: Liberals Out Booze Conservatives

Published in the Journal Of Wine Economics professors Pavel Yakovlev and Walter P. Guessford of Duquesne University say there's a direct correlation between political belief systems and the level of alcohol consumption.

Left wing dominated states like California drink three times more alcohol per head than the drinking in conservative states like Arkansas and Utah.  The study lines up with data collected comparing socialist countries with western democracies.  Socialists drink so much, so often, their countries also lead in liver cirrhosis and alcohol blindness.

So what's going on?  The professors have two theories.

Either liberals view boozing and drug taking as 'hip' and socially acceptable or liberals are so calloused they think they get away with the damage and be cared for by a government health-care program down the road.

Liberals are child-like, right down to the temper tantrums. LIbbies hate cigarettes because that's what grandpa smoked, but defend marijuana to the death because that's what THEY do.  Despite both plants leading to lung cancer.  When the piper comes for the check government-sugar-daddy will cover it.

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Crest's Chocolate Toothpaste Debuts

Obesity is like an unstoppable rebel force so why not switch to chocolate toothpaste?

Procter & Gamble's line of Crest toothpaste called "Be" squeezes out flavors like Mint Chocolate, Vanilla and Lime.

How long do ya think before the NAACP accuses Crest of being racist?  You know, 'Be' dat chocolate toof paste, sistah.

Hey, everything's racist now-a-days didn't ya know?   After five years of race-guilting a new rule demands at least one black in each commerical.  Even sun tan lotion ads! 

Anyway, chocolate toothpaste is the last thing a ballooning bubble-butt America needs, but hey, that's never stopped companies from pumping out crap before - has it?

Wonder how long before Michelle Obama rails against the stuff?

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Flatulent Cows Blow Up Barn

Ninety German diary cows were blissfully standing in puddles of their own pee munging on alfalfa piles huddled and out of the cold in a barn.  Then it happened...

All the chewing and mooing and anxious thoughts of eventually being herded outside were generating a lot of methane.  Suddenly a cowbell contacted a metal railing and the subsequent spark of static electric discharge sparked the foul-smelling cloud.

The cow's accumulated farts exploded like an M80 in a mailbox.  The fireball ripped through the wooden structure and liberated a large chunk of the roof.  All the windows went bye bye too.

The cows panicked and charged the barn door splintering it like box of toothpicks hitting a tiled floor. The barn was leveled yet miraculously just one cow was singed enough to require vet attention.

Which begs the question...who the hell leaves a hundred cows alone in a sealed barn full of farting bovines in the middle of winter and doesn't have the foresight to install a stout grounding rod?

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Smart Bra Detects True Love

The Japanese are disappearing because their young would rather stay inside and play video games than go out and find a suitable mate and start a family.  Technology is making them crazy.

So why not apply tech expertise to the unclasping of a bra?

Ravijour is the Japanese version of Victoria's Secret. The company just announced the “True Love Tester” bra which can only be undone by a person with the 'right' heart rate. The clasp on the bra sends a wireless message to a cell phone running an app that computes the heart rate of the 'grasper' thru their fingers.

Ravijour claims a particular heart rate over time indicates “love.” The bra doesn't just come off of course; the cups spring open like a pair of pop tarts flying out of a commercial toaster. All this happens when the 'right' guy with the 'right' heartbeat touches the thing.

Not gonna say it, you're just gonna have to use your own imagination on this one folks.

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Magnetosphere Flip Overdue

The Earth is surrounded by a powerful magnetic field generated by the swirling action of the molten iron core in the middle of the planet.  Most know the magnetosphere is critical to life on Earth.  And it's about to flip - that is, reverse polarity.

Over the past 200 years the intensity of the magnetosphere has weakened by 15%.  The 'flip' happens pretty regularly, about every three to five hundred thousand years - regularly on a geologic time scale.  And once the flip starts it takes about a thousand years to complete the cycle.

So what?

Well, it won't be a mass extinction event.  Life on Earth has survived the flip in the past.  But mankind was barely out of the trees when the last flip occurred.

Skin cancer will be a growth industry.  There will be massive and months at a time disruption to the electric power grid, crazy northern lights crackling across the whole planet day and night, extreme weather resulting from increased cloud formation, and an enlargement of the polar ozone holes.  All topped off when the North magnetic pole becomes the South magnetic pole after years of playing musical chairs (see picture above).  So forget air and sea navigation.

Is all this really about to happen?  Uh huh. Like the Caldera under Yellowstone, a 6-mile wide iron asteroid impact, and a worldwide pandemic thanks to the viral incubators in Asia - the flip is overdue.

Ironically, while the Global Warming alarmists are busy competing for whose catastrophe is bigger, just about everything else is getting ready to take a dump on everyone's pizza.

Global Warming Goon To Camp On Ice Berg

The Flat Earth Society began in 1956 and still has followers.  Members insist the Earth is a flat disc and the Sun and Moon are just 3,000 miles spinning above.  All 'science' attempting to postulate otherwise is a 'hoax' and a conspiracy intended to deceive the 'unsophisticated.'

Sound familiar?  The same language is used by those who say mankind's industrial activity is affecting the atmosphere as if a gold fish bowl were surrounding the planet trapping heat.  The polar caps are alleged to be melting resulting in catastrophic and rising sea levels. Scientific evidence suggesting otherwise is ignored and deemed a 'conspiracy' by greedy capitalists.

Last month trapped scientists from Russia were on a mission to report on the decline of polar ice, but became trapped in the record ice flows instead.  The episode cast light on the folly of climate change fanatics.  And pissed off Italian self-hypnotist and global warming cultist Alex Bellini.

Bellini is jumping on a chunk of Arctic ice next year to 'prove' icebergs are melting. “For me it’s a time to act, I will be alone.” Not entirely alone; the ice rider will be visited by left-wing writers, bloggers, and other cultists who are signing up to form a team of virtual global warmingists to make sure the world pays attention to the lunatic.

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Sheriff Joe Arpaio: Flag Defacers Get Bread And Water

Make no mistake the toughest sheriff in town is Joe Arpaio of Arizona's Maricopa County.

Joe's even under attack from Eric Holder because he takes prisoners in the war on illegals.  Too many coming across?  Joe builds his own jails - out of tents and using prisoners themselves to put them up.

Joe wants the inmates to behave and he wants them to appreciate the American taxpayers funding their stay.  So he handed out American flags to the inmates.

When some of them started to tear them up, throw them in toilets, write on them, and in general show disrespect for the symbol of the country Joe returned the favor and put flag perps on bread and water for a week.

Joe augments his staff of 600 overseeing 8,000 lawbreakers with military vets.  So to honor them and impress upon the inmates just where they are Joe plays the "Star Spangled Banner" over the jail intercom each morning.

Cruel and unusual punishment?  Oh, you betcha say the anti-American liberal pukes infesting the country.  But Joe says if illegals crossing the border don't like the flag or the tune, then they can choke on a little bread and water for a week and ponder who's their daddy.

If Joe does decides to run for Arizona governor patriots should move to the besieged state long enough to qualify to vote for him - he's one of the good guys.

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Warning: Caramel Color Causes Cancer

Yet another cry wolf cancer scare?  Maybe.

For those hooked on colas and caramel colored soft drinks Consumer Reports says the concoctions with 4-methylimidazole will grow a tumor in your gut the size of a goiter.

Which begs the first question; how come the FDA or the CDC doesn't figure this stuff out first?

Then the second question; will an obese nation hooked on sugary drinks take the hint?  Nah - remember, everyone gets 'free' meds under Obamacare so let party like it's 1994 baby.

"...(4-methylimidazole) definitely causes cancer in animal studies. The International Agency for Research on Cancer has also classified 4-MEI as a possible human carcinogen,” Dr. Urvashi Rangan noted.

Sugary drinks are already a ticket to diabetes and obesity, but isn't it extra special that cancer can now be counted as a good reason to give up the crap?  Pepsi has more of it than Coke, and Malta Goya a Mexican soda has 300 micrograms of the toxin ready to take up residence in your liver.

Today it's a cold cool Pepsi on a hot summer's day...tomorrow it's a hot-shot of hair killing chemo in a cold intensive care ward.

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Toughest Mother On Earth

Did you see the 100,000 people in DC yesterday marching against abortion?  Did you hear about it?  No.  Why? You know why - the secular pukes that pretend to be journalists agree with abortion.

Contrast the whining, sniveling, smarmy attitudes western women have toward kids with a family living in Northern India.

The expectant mom made a nine day forty-five mile trek at eleven thousand feet across frozen rivers and slippery rock in minus three degrees to get to the nearest hospital to birth her kid.

And then packed the newborn up and made the walk back a few days later.

Icelandic photographer Tom Vollmer was with friends up in the same mountains when he spotted the family. ‘For me its just incredible, how easy and how much help we get in the western world to give birth in comparison - when you saw this little child and baby, how cold they have been, what they have to do,’ Tom noted.

Life is a helluva lot cheaper in the USA, huh folks?  Wonder if Oprah will have this mom on for an interview?

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Anti-Fracking Protestors Chained To Wrong Gas Pumps

Under Obama the EPA is the junkyard dog unchained.  Today we discovered the agency exchanging direct emails with the Sierra Club using them as proxies to screw with the Keyston Pipeline.

Despite the horrific over-reach to kill energy in the USA - oil production has reached levels finally freeing the country of Saudi oil. There's even enough extra to make cash selling supplies to the Chinese.

And the natural gas boom in the Dakotas is practically an 1849 California gold rush thanks to fracking. And man do the greenie goons hate fracking too.

Four members of an anti-fracking group in the UK were arrested after chaining and gluing themselves to gas pumps they thought were owned by the Total oil company they despise.

The problem?  The pumps they attached themselves to are owned by Certas Energy - a company not involved in fracking.

The owner of the gas station says he lost thousands of dollars in lost sales and has damage to his equipment thanks to the four morons now glued to bunks in a Brit jail somewhere.

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NY Cuomo Threatens Conservatives

Gov. Andy Cuomo is a spitting left-wing slob who pronounced a few days ago that if you live in New York and are pro-life, pro-gun, or pro-marriage you - 'Have No Place In The State'

Sorta like when Hitler told the Jews to get out. The ones that didn't believe Adolf as we all know paid a big price for not paying attention.

Remember Cuomo was the young ass-wheel Urban Development secretary under Clinton that crafted and implemented between 1997 and 2001 what eventually became known as the subprime econ crash. Cuomo turned the FHA mortgage program into a sweetheart lender with sky-high loan ceilings and no money down, and he legalized what a federal judge has branded "kickbacks" to brokers that fueled the sale of overpriced and unsupportable loans (NINJA).

Of course New York rehired the limp-dick to run their state.   And it's no surprise New York City just hired a full blown Marxist Clintonista - Bill DeBlasio. The state is set to follow Detroit and California into the shitter.

So Cuomo is likely doing conservatives a favor demanding they leave. In fact, Sean Hannity took the bait and announced he's pulling up stakes...

Science: Sun Has 'Gone To Sleep'

Huh? After three decades of sweating Global Warming suddenly the sun winks and it's a big nevermind?

Richard Harrison of the Rutherford Appleton Laboratory in Oxfordshire, UK You remember the UK, the place were Global Warming is celebrated like the Earth is a giant Stonehenge and all the Brits are druids all over again.

Dick and Rutherford say the Sun is at a 100 year low. The two even refer to the Maunder Minimum, a time in 1645 when a mini ice age hit, freezing the river Thames.

Mike Lockwood at the University of Reading concurs noting that the lower temperatures could affect the global jet-stream, causing weather systems to collapse. 'We estimate within 40 years there a 10-20% probability we will be back in Maunder Minimum territory,' Mike said.

NASA notes 2013 year was supposed to be the year of 'solar maximum,' the peak of the 11-year sunspot cycle. It didn't happen. 'Sunspot numbers are well below their values from 2011, and strong solar flares have been infrequent,' NASA observed.

So what? Well, remember Obama is busy unleashing his junkyard dog EPA on the energy industry under the mistaken and even malicious notion that the globe is still warming. But schizo Europe appears to be reversing their idiotic green agenda with a fracking frenzy now.

Ambien Zombies Arrested

Ambien is the number one prescription sleeping pill.  And the slumber drug has label full of warnings.

So when Robert Stewart, 45, stormed the Pinelake Rehab nursing home in Carthage, North Carolina and opened fire, killing eight people and wounding two his lawyers got him off citing Ambien as the culprit and not Bob.

Ironcially, Ambien replaced the now banned Halcion, which had been implicated in psychosis, suicide, and addiction.

How is Abien better than Halcion? Ambien's warning label says the drug may produce “abnormal thinking,” and “strange behavior,” but insists these are extremely rare.  And adds any anecdotal evidence of “sleep driving,” “sleep eating,” or “sleep shopping," are also rare and really just kinda quirky...

Since people are waking up to the sleep drugs problems coining the term "Ambien Zombies."  Nothing on the Ambien warning label refers to zombie behavior, but shouldn't the term "abnormal thinking" and "sleep driving" sorta serve as warning enough?

Smoking Moms Make Lesbian Babies

Ready for more hints why nature makes a homosexual?

Dick Swaab, professor of neurobiology at Amsterdam University, says drinking and taking drugs lower a child’s IQ. Bad enough.

But more remarkably he says synthetic hormones, amphetamines and smoking (including marijuana) increase the likelihood of girls being born lesbian or bisexual.

Dick says a baby boy with older brothers increases the chance the little guy will choose lighter loafers later in life. Dick theorizes the syndrome's linked to the mother’s immune system which ravages male hormones more ferociously with each newborn son in the litter.

Prof Swaab says research is pinpointing the role of genes, environment and what mom does during her pregnancy as co-important factors in making a gay world even gayer.

Muslim Women Don't Wear Makeup

Because what good is makeup when ya gotta wear a head-to-toe bedspread anyway?

A University of Michigan survey of seven Muslim countries - Tunisia, Egypt, Iraq, Lebanon, Pakistan, Saudi Arabia and Turkey revealed a range of attitudes regarding women's fashion.

Most countries want women to cover their hair with a traditional hijab, al-Amira or head scarf rather than cover their entire face with a full Burqa or Niqab.

But Lebanon and Turkey were fine with women letting their heads and face go naked - a kind of liberation for them. Iraq, Egypt and especially Saudi Arabia are still stuck in the 5th century freaking at anything more than a set of eerie eyes peering out a slit.

So unless you wanna look like cousin 'it' from the Adams family ladies while in Saudi Arabia or Iraq get fitted for the Burqa and maybe even bring a Niqab as a backup.

Or maybe just glue on a loud pink thong and a string top and jump into a pool in Florida instead.  And wait two weeks for Iran's nuclear bomb.

Sex Raises IQ

New research shows sex makes you smarter and improves memory.  Damn it!

But does that mean prostitutes are suddenly able to solve string theory equations and recite the entire IRS code from memory?  No.

But if true, it's like finding out chocolate cake and beer are as good for you as vegetables and high fiber grains.

Researchers at the University of Maryland got a bunch of rats to roll around in the lab then took them apart and weighed their brains.  Yea, like it was tough to get rats to mount each other.

Alas, blowing-up the brain requires actually having a lot of sex.

Apparently people already endowed with high IQs dabble less in the carnal arts than people with average IQs.  Somehow dummies must sense the deficit and indulge to catch up.

Just making more brain cells isn't enough, though. Ya gotta use the new cells - that is, ya gotta get off your rear and fill the cells with information like a new skill or tear into a new hobby like high energy physics.

And that makes it a full-circle-jerk doesn't it folks?  The good news is doing something free and fun leads to bigger brains, the bad news (as usual there's always bad news), requires hard post-coital work to take advantage of the sexual side-effect.

Harvey Weinstein: "NRA Will Wish They Weren't Alive"

Movie making thug Harvey Weinstein told Howard Stern on air, “I shouldn’t say this, but I’ll tell it to you, Howard, I’m going to make a movie with Meryl Streep, and we’re going to take this (the NRA) head-on. And they’re (the NRA) going to wish they weren’t alive after I’m done with them.”

Weinstein makes no secret of his near psychotic animosity toward gun owners. The growling goon rants, “I don’t think we need guns in this country. And I hate it, I think the NRA is a disaster area.”

Is that a threat of some kind? Howard asked him if he owned a gun and of course he crowed that he did not and never would. Cool beans Weinie baby, you have the right NOT to own a gun, did you know that?

Picture this guy rolling around at night grumbling to himself how the same constitution bestowing the right for women to kill kids in the womb also gives citizens the right to defend themselves with a firearm.

Harvey's a piece of work isn't he folks? He thinks he has some grand compelling, coercive magic power.  Put Streep into a cheesie trolling film and cast a spell over the country to the extent that people will say, “Gun stocks — I don’t want to be involved in that stuff. It’s going to be like crash and burn.”

You betcha Harvey. Oh by the way, who the hell are you anyway?

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Most Repulsive Man On Earth Looking For Love

A guy in Iran wants to meet you, ladies.  

Amou Haji hasn't washed in over 60 years due to a cleanliness phobia.  Amou's favorite meal is rotten porcupine so if you can cook that you already have a leg up on the competition.

When Amou comes in from a rough day in the desert he likes to pack a pipe full of camel dung, lay back, and take a smoke that fills the tent with a smell that would gag a dead-man.  But hey, we can't all be Tom Selleck.

Amou lives alone, for now at least.  At night he sleeps in a hole about the size of a grave he says keeps 'things' off of him.  But Amou is offering to widening the hole for any would-be mate interested in matrimony.  

After a lifetime alone, Amou says he's ready to find 'Miss Right.'   Amou is 80, though so don't expect a lot of years together. 

Oh, as an added bonus? Amou also holds the record for the longest any human being has gone without a shower, bath or hose down by a fire department.  So there's that too.

Wells Fargo's $5 Deposit Charge

Get ready for the next insult from banks, folks.

A woman in Florida got a letter from Wells Fargo stating: “Effective April 7, 2014, the fee for deposited U.S. or foreign currency denominated international items, including drafts, will be $5.00 per item.”  At first blush this sounds like it's more about international transactions - but hang on sloopy.

The Florida woman jumped on the phone;  “I called their (Wells Fargo) 800-869-3557 Texas call center...customer service rep Adelina informed me that whenever I will make a deposit of my paycheck or anything I will be charged $5.00.”

The lady closed her account of course, but will she have anywhere else to go?  Will any of us?

Should banks get the bone-headed idea they'll start charging a fee just for putting money in the bank why do we need banks at all?  Interest rates are far lower than a $5 fee for a deposit.  It's cheaper to stuff it under the mattress...

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Alzheimer's 5-Question Home Test

Can you pea in a bier bottle without poring over?  Or will pea dowsing your genes make you whale and mown like an enfant child?

Trouble with the sentences?  You are either autistic or worse.  And you may be starting down the road to Alzheimer's and spending the rest of your days being able to hide your own Easter eggs.

But there may be hope.Take the easy-peezy 5-question test shown above (click the image).

Over 1,000 people aged 50 and over were given the test. Shockingly 28% of had cognitive impairment, a mild loss of mental function.  Some 95% of people who don't have memory or thinking problems will slam dunk the test.

The pros say the test doesn't diagnose Alzheimer's but if you take and fail or have trouble with the test it may give a hint trouble is on the way.

So why wait, Phyllis. You got five minutes doncha? Phyllis? Hello????

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Smartphones 18 Times Dirtier Than Public Toilets

Why are smartphones so damned nasty?

Simple.

Germs ride around on your fingertips like thousands of short, bobbing- black-haired passengers stuffed ten deep on a Japanese bullet train.

Smartphone glass is warm, wet, snotty, and refreshed with new batches of bacteria each time you swipe a finger across the surface.  Not just your ordinary cold germs either, but the full gamut of goblins mother nature's taken a billion years to cook up.

For a mere $500 bucks you can do something about it though. CleanBeats zaps bacteria with “hydroperoxide catalytic molecules."  But don't kid yourself, your phone will kill you far quicker than a leak from a nuclear power plant, or from falling face first, tongue out on the rim of a public toilet seat.

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92 Million Of 246 Million Jobless

How can 92 million out of a workforce of 246 million be sitting on the sidelines and the jobless rate magically drops to 6.7%?

Ah, the so-called 'unemployment rate' doesn't count the real unemployed.  Those people are tallied in the look-over-there 'participation rate.'  So the phony jobless rate drops as the grim non-participation rate grows - fuzzy math, huh folks?

See, most voters operate on a pretty low information scale.  Few know that the Affordable Care Act and ObamaCare are the same thing.  So expecting them to pick-up on the labor departments 'trick' is asking way too much.

But it does make sense the real jobless number should be more like 40% when you start adding up the 55 million below the poverty line, the 11 million now on disability (more than live in Greece),  2 million homeless (half are blacks), 100 million on welfare, and 50 million on food stamps, all records under Obama.

Sorta begs the question where the oft repeated misnomer 'economic recovery' originates, huh?  The truth just can't seem to catch a break lately.

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Sheila Jackson Lee Wants Welfare Whitewashed

Doublespeak is an intentional twisting of language that tries to disguises, distort, or reverse the meaning of words, usually for a political end.

The jobs report today has once again smashed any illusion that five failed years of Obama's inept and inconsequential time in office is going to fix the jobs mess.

An astounding ninety-two million are out of the workforce entirely now. The jobless number, a pure perversion stands at 6.7% because the number only reflects those working and looking for work, not those who've given up entirely.

So Democrats like Shiela Jackson Lee want to twist the tale and use doublespeak to change the terminology, instead of taking action and fixing it. The bulbous black congresswoman says, "Maybe the word welfare should be changed to something of a 'transitional living fund'."

Did you know $21 trillion bucks has been blown on the war on 'transitional living funders'? And that the poverty rate now stands at a fifty-year record high despite all the cash blown? So why not change the word poverty to something like lack-of-fundees, or maybe the zero-dollar-bank-balance crowd?

A rose by any other name smells just as putrid, right Sheila?

Rolling Stone Feeds Mutton To Millenials

The young don't know what they don't know - and the dumber among them don't even know that.   

Rolling Stone magazine was once just about rock music but they've wandered into politics now.  Making a horses-ass and indulging in egotistical ranting, millenial Jesse Myerson put together his high-school perspective on the economy.

Myerson swallows the Occupy koolaide that 'wall street bankers' and parents crashed the economy.

Koolaide?

Of course, because the economy was'nt crashed by a banker or a 'greedy' corporation son, it was taken down by no-down-payment high-risk lending at Fannie Mae.  Subprime money shoved into the poor's pockets by Bill Clinton and other abetting Democrats.  The banker part came way, way down the line and had nada to do with the crash or Obama's stark failure to fix it.

So Myerson starts out with a false set of assumptions and piles onto that a completely crazy set of 'solutions' for how the economy should run if this were the bizarro world.

Myerson insists he and his peers be awarded the following:

1. Guaranteed Work For Everyone - he really means a job even if there is no one hiring.
2. Social Security For All - manna from Heaven - it all just comes, right Jesse?
3. Take Back The Land  - Jesse has a hardon for landlords contending they are lazy.
4. Make Everything Owned By Everybody - laughing, the Marxism kicking in on this one.
5. Public Bank -  tax money lent out as loans back to taxpayers, why the circle jerk? 

Well, Jesse isn't crazy he's just young, dumb and no doubt full of....  But that doesn't give him a pass to be a pissant.  It only gives him the freedom to be a dumb-shit.  Jesse, suggest you get thee to a Googlery and start doing some honest research.   Force yourself to find the truth, then jerk your knees toward those ends.

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Meryl Streep Whacks Walt Disney

Meryl Streep is not just your average narcissistic, egotistical, contentious liberal Hollywood spitter.  If grudge carrying were a virtue Meryl would be tied with Mother Teresa for the gold medal.

Meryl took nine-whole-minutes to dress down the long dead Walt Disney at the hoity-toity National Board of Review dinner in New York City yesterday. The aging maven was supposed to honor Emma Thompson who took part in the Disney film, Saving Mr Banks.

The bespectacled Meryl said of the British actress, ‘...Emma makes you want to kill yourself, because she’s a beautiful artist...’   Are those the meds talking again?

But Meryl wasn't really there for Emma. The goofy granny took out a letter written in 1938 in which the fledgeling Walt Disney had directed that women not be involved in the 'creative' end of the business.

Meryl has apparently been fomenting and festering for Mr Disney.  She snapped that Walt was a ‘hideous anti-Semite’ who ‘formed and supported an anti-Semitic industry lobby. And he was certainly, on the evidence of his company’s policies, a gender bigot’.

Wow! Wonder what she thinks of Mel Blanc (voice of Elmer Fudd)?

After thanking Streep for her 'tribute', Thompson noted New York's record-low temperatures.  ‘It’s such a cold night, It’s the only time I’ve been actively grateful for the menopause.'   Rough the menopause didn't protect Meryl from the cold.

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Walmart Health Plan Beats ObamaCare Badly

ObamaCare is a disease spreading to all but the 1%ers who can afford to pay cash for healthcare. 

Walmart symbolizes all that unions and liberals hate about successful private capital companies. For years unions have spread venomous lies about Walmart's employees.  But that's over now, baby.

Unions find themselves taking Obama's genitalia up their collective rears now forced out of their Cadillac plans and into ObamaCare's Chevy Volt.  Ironic huh?

Walmart, for now, is providing their employees with a healthcare plan that beats ObamaCare in both cost and quality.

Apparently, ObamaCare offers just 9,837 doctors yet Walmart's plan includes an astounding 24,904 doctors.  ObamaCare's inhospitality results in the Mayo and Cleveland Clinics, NYC Memorial Sloan Kettering, Houston's MD Anderson Cancer Center and LA Cedars-Sinai Medical telling ObamaCare patients to stay away.  Some 11 of the top 18 are in that boat.  Yet Walmart plans have no such restrictions.

Remember, you can't keep your doctor, your hospital or your health. ObamaCare's here to help.

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Dogs Poop Pointing North

Russians really like dogs.  Remember Pavlov and his pets?  Well, apparently the Russian's aren't done with their canine comrades having just published a study in Frontiers Of Zoology proving dogs take all their dumps pointing North.

Yes folks, dogs are full of magnetite too and use their internal compass to lay down dung in alignment with Earth's magnetic poles. Isn't that special?

The Russians apparently needed to watch 70 dogs over two years and carefully record 1,893 defecations and 5,582 urinations to prove their theory.

The tail-waggers could not be leashed or otherwise influenced in order to find their 'natural' inclinations. After nearly 2000 piles of puppy poop researchers compiled the data and voila!  The tykes did indeed tinker and duty in an “axial orientation” with the earth’s magnetic field.

The discovery does leave a few more questions.  First, no one can figure out why the dogs do what they do or what role it plays in their survival.  And second, and likely most importantly, so what?

Are people supposed to whip out a compass to find the dog shit in their backyards now?  How about combat teams giving up their GPS receivers and watch pensively for the canines to poop, then follow that to the enemy? 

Really? No other news today?  The mind wanders...

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Drug Dealer Begs For Jail To Escape Wife

Walid Chaabani a 32-year-old Tunisian was living under house arrest for drug dealing in Spain.  That's the good part.

The bad part started when his wife conducted a reign of terror ragging on him for all his nefarious and tawdry schemes. Walid finally had enough last week; bolted from his house and begged the Carabinieri to take him to jail.

“Living with his wife was particularly difficult and unbearable,” Walid told the cops.  The cops said  Walid was clearly  “tired of continuously fighting with his wife” and “asked explicitly to be put back in prison".

So the wheels started to turn quickly for Walid - the cops had wives too.  The staff at the local court issued an imprisonment order on the same day.  Walid was remanded to the district prison where he sits blissfully playing checkers and shooting the shit with fellow inmates all also apparently free of their better halves.

The wife?  She's made a long list of grievances slated for delivery during visiting hours.

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Seven Ugly Facts About The Minimum Wage

The Democrats wanna get away from Obamacare and play class warfare crap again.

The money printing's been great for the so-called one-percenters, thanks Obama.  But the middle-class and working poor are getting hosed - the very people Obama and the Democrats use as voodoo dolls to get and keep power.

Harry Reid is the junk-yard dog Obama uses to play these games. This time it's all about the mid-term election in November.

First, dirty Harry is pitting the long-line-long-term jobless against adding more billions to the shit-pile of debt the Democrats can't defend.  Extending the extended jobless benefits have been necessary because Obama and Reid have failed to create any real full-time jobs.

The second, and more more disturbing is the head-fake the Democrats jerk over the minimum wage.  The left-wingers like to spit out the union-originated misnomer 'living wage'.

So what's the truth about the minimum wage?

1. Just 2.8% of the labor force works for minimum wage - did you know that?
2. Half of min wage workers are age 16-24 - not exactly supporters of families.
3. Low-end wage earners already bottom out at $20.31, 3x the fed min wage level.
4. Every labor study since 1935 has concluded a minimum wage kills jobs.
5. Blacks and other minorities get ass-kicked the most by a min wage that prices them out.
6. Even Christine Romer and other 'progressive' economist say the min wage is no answer.
7. 21 states already have a min wage higher than the fed standard.

The Democrats and Harry Reid spend no time helping business make jobs but waste tons of time demagoguing phony issues.  Shocked, just shocking...

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UK Seizing Obese Kids

Will the USA also see fit to start taking obese kids from their parents?  The nanny-state mandates such take-sways, doesn't it folks?

The USA already grabs kids based on abuse or neglect (starvation, abandonment, drug use).

But British officials say just feeding a kid the wrong food is the same thing.  Brits say their intervention and take-away is based on a 'complex decision'.

British kids grow habituated to a fatty, sugary diet and throw tantrums if they get cut-off from the crap. Brits say parents, out of ill discipline, can't say 'no'.   So the government says no for them.  At least that's the operating theory.

Sounds eerily like Nazi Germany huh?  The Nazi's took kids from families to raise them according to a strict government 'arryan' standard.  Kids were encouraged to tattle on parents critical of the regime which often led to the arrest of the parents and the placement of the kid in 'training' camps.  The Nazi's knew best, according to them, how else could the super-duper-super-Jew-hater-race get made?

What's a super race?  Well, the Brits say the opposite of a sugar-fed rolly-polly-grease-balled teenager, apparently.  Heck, ex-Mayor Bloomberg had fantasies of babysitting fat kids too.

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FDA Wanted: Gum Chewing Robot Tester

The FDA wants the private sector to solve a serious problem - gum chewing.  

Chewing gum-based drugs like nicotine gum are problematic because there is no sure-fire way to measure the dosage and delivery (dissolution) of the medication. 

Businesses don't need to reinvent the gum chewing wheel because a machine already exists called the Erweka DRT-3.  That's the good news, the bad news is the machine is made in Germany.

Why's that a problem?  Dunno.  But the FDA does have something pretty specific in mind for their version of the Erweka DRT-3:

• The angular displacement of the upper jaw shall be adjustable between 10° – 180°, movement frequency adjustable between 20 - 60 cycles per minute.
• Distance of upper and lower jaw in closed position adjustable -between 0-10 mm.
• Jaws shall be acid proofed stainless steel with blasted surface for a better grip.

So step up folks.  Who knows, reverse engineering the German instrument may not be all that tough.  You might be able to sell a half dozen or so and retire to a trailer park somewhere.

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Judicial Watch: Top Ten Most Corrupt Politicians

Getting tired of the daily deluge of diabolical dirt coming government?  Too bad, you voted for it, now ya gotta smell it 'till ya vote it out again.

Judicial Watch released their annual list of “Ten Most Wanted Corrupt Politicians” for 2013. Is it shocking that 8 of the 10 are Obama regime players?

Leading the pack is Obama himself, of course, as Judicial Watch says, “President Barack Obama...is a master at catch-me-if-you-can, corrupt politics.” Obama's signature failure, Obamacare has cemented the high handicapper as history's worst president, and before he's done, no doubt, most corrupt.

In quick succession, Benghazi Hillary Clinton places second, Fast and Furious Eric Holder third, and Dirty Harry Reid fourth.

Reid isn't on the list for being a horses-ass, that part just keeps him in the rear of Senate majority leaders, but Harry's longest and largest campaign donor, Harvey Whitemore is sitting in a federal prison. You can guess the rest.

One oddity is how John Boehner got on the list. Apparently the guy collects campaign money from corporate executives who want laws affecting them to get a vote! It's a nifty little kickback called the Tollbooth Strategy.

Tired of it yet? Well, there's a little time left to change it, but ya gotta act fast, once these guys figure out people voting is a threat to their fiefdoms the vote itself will no doubt disappear too.

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Walmart Recalls Tainted Donkey Meat

Walmart in China sells what the Chinese want - donkey meat.  And somehow a batch of the odd cuisine got mixed up with fox meat and had to be recalled.

Which begs the question. Is Walmart slaughtering foxes in a donkey slaughterhouse?  Or did some unlucky fox wander into the donkey pen one night and fall asleep?

Anyone else wondering how a spec of fox meat got found in twenty-tons of donkey dinner?  A DNA test of course!

Walmart says customers who bought "Five Spice Donkey Meat" for 50 yuan ($8.25) will get their yuans back.

And since Walmart plans to have 110 stores open in China by next year. So we're guessing the donkey meat, fox meat, snake meat, horse meat, pork (the other red meat), rat meat, dog meat and whatever else meat the Chinese want to wolf down will also get DNA tested?.

You can't make this stuff up folks.

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Wall Street Expert's Bug-Out-Bag

If you've been living under a rock for the past five years you may have missed the memo.  Obama and Bernanke have been printing money and buying their own debt - lots of money and lots of debt.

How long will it last?  No one really knows, but last it will not...  And if the come-down from years of 0% interest rates and hordes of cash laying in bank vaults leads to inflation; the collapse will be sudden.

David John Marotta, a Wall Street expert, financial adviser and Forbes contributor, said in a note to his investors, “Firearms are the last item on the list, but they are on the list. There are some terrible people in this world. And you are safer when your trusted neighbors have firearms.”

What's he talking about? Dave's memo is part of a series discussing the possible “financial apocalypse.” Is Dave just another arm-waving, doomsday profit taker crying wolf? No.

Dave notes, "The growing debt and deficit spending is a tax on those holding dollars. The devaluation in the U.S. dollar risks the dollar's status as the reserve currency of the world. Obamacare was the worst legislation in the past 75 years. Socialism is on the rise and the NSA really is abrogating vast portions of the Constitution."

So Dave says get a 'bug-out-bag' and a firearm with ammo. You may not need them, but then again, you might.  In fact, the Angle would even add one more thing to the escape plan - buy and learn to fly a small aircraft!

NBC Medical Editor: ObamaCare A Patriotic Duty

How wold you like to have this goon for a mom?

NBC’s chief medical editor Dr. Nancy Snyderman proudly declared on air yesterday she forced her own kids to sign up for Obamacare as their “patriotic duty.”

Based on Nancy's 'expert' medical opinion she was asked what can be done to 'fix' ObamaCare? She quickly answered, "I think there should be a single-payer system...Docs just want to be reimbursed a fair amount for hard work..."

Hey Nancy, ObamaCare only pays docs 50 cents on the dollar and Medicaide just 30 cents. A single payer would hike doc's pay - how?

Snyderman is more an ideologue and less a medical expert. So what else is new on NBC?  Nancy sees a sinking ship (ObamaCare) and wants to go down with the captain (Obama).  And then forces her own kids to stay onboard and go down too?  Yikes!

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