CES: Kiddie Potty With Attached iPad

Entering a fifth year of recession, mounting record debt, threats to 2nd amendment gun rights, and the still looming war in the middle east what toddler would turn up their noses at a potty with an iPad mount?

Well, the wait is over.  Ponder the iPotty pictured left.

The Las Vegas CES show is producing this years usual gaggle of gadgets.  Among them this 'drain child' from a toy company betting there is a nation of toddlers pining to iPad while pooping.

After all it's lonely work shedding the last lofty load of Gerber's dinosaur shaped pasta in a mildly seasoned broth.

Other notebook makers are hustling to get a compatible mount for their products. Oh and not to worry, the company says they include a 'splash guard' to protect the electronics while the kid is practicing and perfecting their aim.

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Asteroid Apophis Wipes California Clean In 2036

Apophis made a 9 million mile pass by the Earth yesterday - close by stellar standard.

Russian scientists estimate Apophis will collide with Earth on April 13, 2036

The 1,150 ft wide Apophis will whizz through a a gravitational keyhole in 2029. The effect will alter Apophis flight path setting up the 2036 strike.

Apophis' is not a planet killer, but it will kill a series of cities along a coastline.  Hitting the planet at over 10,000 mph, the path is projected along the California coast, and possibly landing in Venezuela or Columbia.

Apophis will create a 5-mile-wide, 9000-ft.-deep "crater" in the ocean.  A long series of tsunamis of 50-500 feet would ensue, wiping out Los Angeles, San Francisco and every other small town along the coast.

Doomesday for California liberals baby.

Princeton: Sex Raises IQ

Finally, a reason to have sex other than because it's free, fun and easy to do.

The University of Amsterdam found sexually aroused subjects performed better in critical thinking tests than limp-dicked participants.

Princeton discovered accelerated brain cell growth in sexually active lab rats, when compared to their virgin counterparts. Correlation?

If true, shouldn't porn stars be doing high-energy physics at the Stanford Particle Accelerator?

The study didn't offer details.  Nor do the scientists give us hints regarding tools, toys, fetishes or fantasies.  Those things are left to we who are willing to self-sacrifice for science.

Despite the IQ boost. There is no down-side other than getting a knot on Mr Boing Boing.  And if your IQ remains below 60 you can still be rewarded just for trying.

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Al Roker Soils Boxers At Whitehouse

Al Roker was 'sharing' on a Dateline show last week.  Asked what was his most humiliating moment in life was he didn't hesitate to offer entirely too much information on the subject.

Roker says he was covering a White House event a month after he got his gastric bypass operation.  Roker was taking a shortcut to weight loss and has his guts stapled-up making him vulnerable to 'accidents.'

Roker said, "I probably went off and ate something I wasn't supposed to. And as I'm walking to the press room, [I'm thinking] well, I gotta pass a little gas here. I'm walking by myself. Who's gonna know? Only a little something extra came out. I pooped my pants."

Roker's something extra forced him into the pottie room to drop trough and trash his boxers.  He said for the rest of the event and until he could hustle back home he was running around 'commando.'  The incident was unpleasant both for Roker and for the rest of us now.

Roker's takeaway is a laugh.  No lesson in maybe loosing weight in a safer way, oh no, Roker says his big insight is to make sure to carry spare boxer shorts 'just in case.'

Swell...

Bank Of America Plays Gun God

Bank Of America was and still is one of the worst banks in the country.  Anyone putting their money at BofA is complicit in the corporate greed culture at the company.

As owners of Countrywide Financial BofA was lead in the nasty practices that led to the subprime econ crash. 

BofA is famous for turning on their homeowner customers and gouging taxpayers for billions in the bailouts.

Now BofA is playing moral cop over one of it's large customers because they happen to manufacture firearms.  Remember this is the bank that kicks people out of their homes due to their own poor, greedy, and malicious practices.

Joe Sirochman of American Spirit Arms had his account frozen by the bank last week.  The company is doing a banner business after Obama and Feinstein started to threaten gun owners.  Sirochman's company was pouring money into their accounts at the bank.

So Sirochman pressed bank management to find out what the Fred is going on.

“After countless hours on the phone with Bank of America, I finally got a manager in the right department that told me the reason that the deposits were on hold for further review -- her exact words were -- ‘We believe you should not be selling guns and parts on the Internet.’”

Yikes! Despite a ten-year business relationship Sirochman is moving his good banking business elsewhere.  And oh yea, American Spirit Arms is fully licensed and bone-fide.

The banking idiot at BofA is not only ignorant, but business stupid. Pull your money out of Bank Of America as a gesture to support our 2nd amendment rights folks.

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Top Ten Rabies Carriers

Most people are aware that rabies is a virus.  The disease is transmitted in the saliva of a bite. Once infected the only 'cure' is a set of five abdominal injections over a 28 day period. Sans the shots, you die!

Some guess rabid animals don't die from the disease.  In fact, they do - usually out of our site.  Ever heard of the ferocious mad dog with dripping mouth, crazy, jerking, convulsed and deranged stare?  Don't pet that one.

A popular myth assumes rabies are mainly carried by bats. Not true.  Sure bats do carry the disease but bats eat insects not people or house pets.

The real risk comes from these ten forest and field dwelling mammals.  The top ten are mountain lions, bobcats, racoons, chipmunks, rabbits, coyotes, squirrels, mice, and skunks.

If you are dumb enough to feed a squirrel by hand welcome to a big fat rabies risk.  Squirrels have poor eyesight and will bite your finger mistaking it for a peanut - they are extremely near-sighted!

Usually people don't get rabies from the listed denizens directly.  A pet dog or cat tangling or playing with an infected raccoon or skunk is the perfect way an unsuspecting owner gets nailed.

Forewarned is forearmed.  Teach your kids not to touch.  And watch your pets closely.  Rabies is real and waiting to jump out and bite you.

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Warning: Grocery Bag Norovirus Killing Kids

Surprise! The quest to rid the planet of plastic grocery bags is killing schoolkids.

California cities are rushing to ban plastic and even single-use paper grocery bags.  Shoppers are forced to buy and reuse cloth bags. The bags are loaded and reloaded with combinations of wet and dry goods.  And later put onto eating surfaces in the kitchen.

Over time handling the bags with dirty hands and transporting them in bacteria laden cars compounds the problem.  Washing the thick canvas bags is a hassle.  The bags become havens for Norovirus, E. Coli, Salmonella, and Fecal Coliform.

Over 21 million acute cases of gastroenteritis from Norovirus lead to the deaths of 200,000 kids each year!

Obama's green agenda is a green nightmare.  So when the CDC updated it's website recently warning of infectious diseases they gleefully and purposefully left out reference to the reusable grocery bag problem.  Why?  Oh.  That would cast a pall over the rush to get rid of plastic bags.

But that is patently irresponsible and yet another example of how the green goonies knee-jerks hurt people.

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Flu Shot Heart Attack Risk

Dr Jacob Udell, cardiologist at Women’s College Hospital Toronto University notes: ‘The use of [flu] vaccine is still much too low, less than 50% of the general population.'

Yet Udell and his team found that an annual flu shot can reduce the risk of both a heart attack by 50% and cardiac death by 40%.

Udell and his team looked at published clinical trials dating back to the 1960s. Some 3,227 patients reflected an equal split between patients with and without established heart disease.

The ravages of the flu can 'tip' a person with heart disease over the edge. Flu produces a range of symptoms that stress the body, especially the heart. If you are walking around with clogged arteries the last flu you get may be the last thing you see.  

Over 60 or with a known history of hypertension you are admonished to get a flu shot annually.  Pregnant or have asthma you too - so quit screwing around. Get the shot!

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Cancer Killer T-Cells Made In Japan

Chemotherapy is a euphemism for injecting hair-losing, vomit-inducing deadly poisons into the body 'hoping' the patient doesn't die before the cancer does. 

Medical science today uses immunotherapy to kick-start the creation of generic T-lymphocytes (T-cells) but the effect is limited.  T-cells die too quickly and may not be encoded  to go after cancer cells.

Japan's Riken Research has reprogrammed T-lymphocytes to kill specific cancer cells. 

Riken's Dr Kawamoto said: 'We have succeeded in the expansion of antigen-specific T-cells by making iPS cells and differentiating them back into functional T-cells.'

Kawamoto adds, 'The next step will be to test whether these T-cells can selectively kill tumor cells but not other cells in the body. If they do, these cells might be directly injected into patients for therapy. This could be realized in the not-so-distant future.'

Cancer is really hundreds of diseases. Chasing a 'single cure' is impossible.  Unless we are able to somehow harness the ONLY mechanism in nature that is designed from scratch to deal with hundreds of diseases, the immune system, the tool set will remain limited at best.

Since the Japanese Riken guys have already gotten insulted by the Brits over this we can assume they are probably onto something useful.

Arachnophobia? Eat A Tarantula...

Arachnophobia is fear of spiders. At least 50% of women and 10% of men are certified spider sissies.

Spiders are everywhere, even in your pocket right now. 

Grown adults scream, cry, wheeze, skip heartbeats and even rabbit in the presence of an 8-legged lurker.  Spiders are ALL poisonous - the only difference is the length and strength of their fangs.  Most cannot penetrate human skin.

Cake-maker Cecilia Chalmers, who is also afraid of spiders, was commissioned to make a fuzzy 7-inch cake topping tarantula. The customer, also afraid of spiders, paid $100 bucks for the month long effort. 

When the creature was unveiled in a room full of Halloween party goers the mass reaction was predictable. And even after told the thing was a lump of sugar and special glue, no one would touch or go near it. Especially not the fully rigid elderly lady laying prone next to her wheelchair.

Take another look at the crawler. Ah ha! You're one of the skeerdy cats too, huh...

Quantum Physics Theory On 'Souls'

Two quantum physicists have created a theory which assumes a 'soul' is encased in a special nerve cell structure that is released at death and returns to the core of the universe with all your memories.

Dr Stuart Hameroff and British physicist Sir Roger Penrose say the essence of a soul is in microtubules inside brain cells. The two say these structures are intertwined and are affected by quantum gravity and are as old as the universe itself.

The concept is similar to the Buddhist and Hindu belief that consciousness is an integral part of the universe

The theory is not without critics but the pair say new discoveries on how quantum gravity affects smell, bird navigation and photosynthesis lean toward their Orch-Or theory.

How these ideas jibe with the world's theological suppositions is not explained, nor apparently does it really matter. If a 'soul' exists and is made up of components of physical laws, groovy. But that has as much appeal as knowing if you stuff too much toilet paper in a toilet you get turds on your bathroom floor.

Sometimes science just doesn't want to give the right answer, does it...

Mussel Glue Cures Sensitive Teeth

Can't handle ice banging your teeth like a steel ball in a pinball machine?   And Popsicles are a scourge and not a sweet treat?. 

You lost your enamel and now wander the foodmarts like Frodo Baggins carting the 'ring' to Mount Doom.

Help is on the way.

Did you know there are over 70 types of mussels in the world?  Zebra, Blue, Green, Rabbitsfoot, Snuffbox, Horse to name a few.  And each one of these goofy looking doodoo shaped sea creatures fight the ocean currents by 'gluing' their asses to a heavy rock on the bottom.

And it's that mussel butt-oozing glue that may bring new life to stripped down bridgework.   The whole idea is to coat the choppers with a compound that stays stuck-on long enough for the underlying enamel and dentine to rebuild.

Chun Hung Chu, of the University of Hong Kong and a few pals are muscling mussels. No kidding the guys name is Hung Chu. Chu and staff have created a sticky polydopamine material mixed with the minerals calcium and phosphate that may do the trick.

Stay tuned Sensodyne sufferers the magic may soon be stuck to your teeth.

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Cpl Boston To Dianne Feinstein Gun Hypocrite

Senator Dianne Feinstein,

I will not register my weapons should this bill be passed, as I do not believe it is the government’s right to know what I own. Nor do I think it prudent to tell you what I own so that it may be taken from me by a group of people who enjoy armed protection yet decry me having the same a crime.

You ma’am have overstepped a line that is not your domain. I am a Marine Corps Veteran of 8 years, and I will not have some woman who proclaims the evil of an inanimate object, yet carries one, tell me I may not have one.

I am not your subject. I am the man who keeps you free. I am not your servant. I am the person whom you serve. I am not your peasant. I am the flesh and blood of America.

I am the man who fought for my country. I am the man who learned. I am an American. You will not tell me that I must register my semi-automatic AR-15 because of the actions of some evil man.

I will not be disarmed to suit the fear that has been established by the media and your misinformation campaign against the American public.

We, the people, deserve better than you.

Respectfully Submitted,

Joshua Boston
Cpl, United States Marine Corps
2004-2012

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'Nutty' Uncle's $3.5 Million Comic Books

How many yard sales have made instant millionaires?

No one knows, but when a 'crazy' uncle leaves a ton of rare comic books in an attic it kinda sucks the wind out of chiding crazy uncles. happens,

Michael Rorrer, 31 and little brother Jonathan were 'teasingly' told as kids they might one day inherit their great uncle's collection of 'old' comic books.

That day arrived three decades later.

Mike was shooting the Shinola with a pal at work. He waxed dizzily about the dusty comics citing one as the 1941 issue of Captain America No.2. The work pal skeptic sputtered, yea sure you do, and no doubt you also have Superman's Action Comics No.1.

Mike checked.  Yep, there it was among the other 345 gems!

Just the two mentioned above are worth $325,000 and $450,000, not counting the balance of the in the boxes expected to easily bring a full $3.5 million. Curator's appraising the windfall noted, 'You can see it was a real collection, someone really cared about these and kept them in pristine condition.'

Me thinks Michael and his brother owe great uncle an apology - and maybe an extra set of roses for his grave.

Wedding Picture Pose Kills Bride

Maria Pantazopoulos, 30, got married last June. Petite, pretty and content Maria made a fateful decision to hire a photographer, gather up here elegant wedding dress, and play 'Trash The Dress.'

Soon after arriving at the 'perfect spot pert and posing' Ms Pantazopoulos slipped and fell into the Ouareau River. Three hours later her body was located down stream under twenty-feet of water, her dress and shoes washed up on a nearby rock.

Maria yelled 'I'm slipping, I'm slipping, I'm slipping,' before sliding off. She tried to stand on the slippery rock with her heels and dress dipping into the water. The river filled her dress pulling the small woman under the furious flow sweeping her quickly over the falls and eventually to her ultimate fate.

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Boehner To Reid: 'Go Fuck Yourself'

Obama jumped on AF1 at o-dark-thirty last night hustling back to Hawaii.  No time to wait a day to sign the little mess Biden and McConnell cooked up.  Thank gravy for Robo-Pen.

Meantime Harry Reid gets the finger from Boehner.  Boehner and Reid got divorced a long time ago. Reid is the mongrel Nevada voters sent back to DC to raise taxes.  And Obama likee.

The Democrats are in charge baby.

The 60% of us with jobs ALL got a tax hike despite Obama tongue wagging to the contrary.  And Obamacare tax hikes are an added bonus.  Oh joy.

The CBO says this laughable deal raises the debt by an astonishing $4 Trillion.  No problem, that will get handled by massive inflation from the funny-money-printing Bernanke is doing.

The vote in November is bearing rotten fruit already. Higher taxes, more spending, less jobs, higher rich-guy stock market, future inflation, less wages, more Obama vacation time. Anyone got any questions?

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50% Of Women Wearing Wrong Bra Size

Women are wearing the wrong bra size according to a University of Portsmouth study.

The study noted the old method was developed during the 1930s when few women had 'D' cups. Over half the women in the UK and USA are over dee cup size these days. 

Researchers found the old method leads to overestimating the back size 76% of the time and underestimating cup size 84% of the time times two.

The 'correct' method advises the overly-endowed grab a range of bra sizes and head into the fitting room ready to do battle.

Remember, the goal is to provide even and comfy support for the 'girls.'  Not crunch-press them down like the door on an air-raid shelter.

The five primary elements leading to mammary merriment :

1. length of straps
2. shape of under-wire
3. back fit
4. cup fit (there are often two remember)
5. front band contacting breastbone

Coined the 'best fit' method. A complex but important subject completely uninteresting to men unless undoing the devices has changed radically.

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Oprah Demands 'respect' For Obama

The queen of croissants, the dark-chocolate of daytime defamation, the phantom of fatuous fat-bodies, the divinely dolloped Ms. O wants people to lighten up on Obama.

The left leave no libelous lament untapped, but demand 'civility' when the heat is hiked on their hearths.

Proverb: If you want respect, treat others with respect.

Till then, lose the weight there tiny TV trench mouth.

Rachael Maddow On-Air Vagina Explosion

MSNBC's Rachael Maddow has no audience. A random poll in libbie New York City revealed none knew her or her show.

Ms Maddow is a pear-shaped, near-sighted, muff-diving, rabid left-wing snipe.  That's the yawn part.

Rachael sits hyper-erect in her studio chair when subjects abortion, homosexuals, and vaginas arise.

So when GOP Gov. Bob McDonnell backed off a bill that required a “transvaginal ultrasound” prior to an abortion, Rachel made a little wet spot in her jeans.

Maddow dug in over the bill.  Sputtering the words 'vaginal' or 'vagina' 58 times.  The Angle suspects Maddow has a hard-on for 'vaginas.'

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Lesbian Sperm Donor Must Pay Child Support

How do a pair of lesbians get pregnant?

The standard way is to consult with a lawyer and an MD once a seed source has agreed to make a donation.  The lawyer is there to make sure all parties agree to an agreement that can later stand up when the parties disagree.  The MD is there to get the cargo injected in a sanitary, safe, and effective way.  Change any part of this dynamic and you get the following sad story.

Angela Bauer, 40, and partner Jennifer Schreiner, 34, placed an ad on Craigslist three years ago looking for a sperm daddy.   William Marotta answered the call.

The three signed a 'legal' document which alleviated Mr Marotta, a married mechanic from responsibility and rights to the child. And exited the picture.  Nine months later Jennifer delivered a daughter. Angela and Jennifer were jazzed. And William was, as agreed, not in the loop.

Then Angela got sick, Jennifer lost her job and the two parted ways. Jennifer applied for welfare and that's when the feeble 'legal' document Bill signed collapsed. In order to recieve benefits Jennifer was 'forced' to reveal Bill's name. An attorney for the Department of Children and Families went to court seeking a ruling that Bill is the father of Schreiner's child and owes a duty to support her.

Bill is insisting his role was that of sperm donor, not father. Both Jennifer and Angela are backing Bill and say they are gratefull for his giving them their daughter.

In the end, the whole thing stinks of course. Angela and Jennifer could not marry and the state is going after a sperm donor for child support.  Let no good deed go unpunished.