DC Woman Jailed Hustling Rump Implants

Here we go again...vanity is one of the Cardinal Sins, and for good reason, it oft leads to disfigurement, and even death.

Witness ass-vanity.  Silicone is injected into the body - especially in the gluteus maximus.  Even silicone appliances implanted in the butt-cheeks are ill-advised.

The injection process is dangerous and illegal in the USA.  Desperate, dimwitted women seeking quacks to deploy the substance in their rears, despite the risks, and despite the legality issues sorta reap what they sew.

DON'T DO IT..Incidentally.

Silicone is not silicon, silicone is a man-made gel, silicon is found in nature and used to grow crystalline wafers to make electronic chips.  Most mispronounce San Jose's silicon valley as silicone valley, when you hear that, correct them immediately, Silicon Valley is not Silicone Valley.

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Plague: Stink Bugs Spread To 40 States

Fresh sightings of the brown marmorated Stink Bug have been reported in 40 states.  The plague has begun.

Stink Bugs are named for the stink when squashed or crushed. Like rotten eggs, or garbage on a hot day.  Many think they bite, but they actually suck instead.

California, Connecticut, Idaho, Indiana, Illinois, Iowa, Ohio, Maine, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, New York, Nevada, North Carolina, Oregon, South Dakota, Tennessee, Utah, Washington, West Virginia, Wisconsin, and Wyoming are all now reporting infestations.

Hailing originally from China, Japan and Korea each bug has the capacity to lay up to 30 eggs per nesting session.

Both live and dead stink bugs can be removed using a vacuum cleaner - however, the vacuum take on the stink permanently as the bugs are disintegrated.


The only known stink bug predator is a tiny parasitic wasp of the genus Trissolcus. They attack the eggs of the pest.



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Farmer Raises Hippo 'like a son' - Gets Eaten Alive

A South African farmer was gouged to death after being viciously attacked and killed by his pet hippopotamus.

Marius Els, 41 described the animal, he named Humphrey, as being 'like a son' to him, raising him from the age of five months.

"There's a relationship between me and Humphrey and that's what some people don't understand. They think you can only have a relationship with dogs, cats and domestic animals. But I have a relationship with the most dangerous animal in Africa.", or so he thought.

Humphrey's dangerous side was revealed in March when he tried to attack two canoeists on the Vaal river. Mr. Els rescued the pair luring Humphrey away with an apple - later saying the animal was just 'hungry'.

Humphrey is six years old and weighs more than a metric ton.

Recall the untimely death of Steve Irwin nicknamed "The Crocodile Hunter".  In Sept. 2006, Irwin was fatally pierced in the chest by a stingray spine while snorkeling at the Great Barrier Reef.

Why do people, even experts, assume invincibility when it comes to wild animals? Well, you reap what you sow...humans are frail as compared to the wild world, the only defense is the human brain, when it isn't used, humans look just like a big snack.

Brooklyn Gangstas Busted On Twitter

Twenty-five accused members of the Wave Gang (Woo) and eighteen accused members of rival Hoodsterz (Hew) have been busted after using Twitter and Facebook to brag about murder.

The cops monitored the social websites for over a year unraveling the lexicon, and eventually identifying nearly four dozen 'perps'.

Gangstas said they were 'going to the beach' when crossing into rivals turf. When a banga was gunned down, they tweeted 'clapped him off the surfboard'. Wave Gang tweeted Hood Starz as 'actors' and shooting them was 'lining them out'.

Charges including murder, assault, reckless endangerment, robbery and weapon possession, with potential sentences ranging from a year to life in prison have been filed.

Brooklyn District Attorney Charles Hynes said, 'we know who you are...we know how you operate...make no mistake about it. We're coming after you next.'

Looks like these guys are gonna have to tone down the 'shop' talk on Twitter and Facebook. Even the cops know how to tweet these days.

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GM Volt Electric Lemon At Any Price

When Hitler asked Ferdinand Porsche to come up with the Volkswagen the idea was to produce a cheap car for the masses.

Obama wanted a green car for the masses.  The Volt, unlike the Volkswagen is poorly designed, and hardly cheap.

Even with the prop up from taxpayers, the car is symbolic of Obama's whole presidency - a goose egg error. The Volt carries a hefty price tag of over $41,000 and a taxpayer funded rebate of $7,500.

Road tests prove the Volt cannot compete with conventional imports selling for $20k less when it comes to delivering good fuel economy.  The Volt's actual range is about 27mpg.

The Volt requires premium gasoline, seats only four people (the battery runs down the center of the car) and has the head and leg room suitable for a dwarf.  And best of all, it weighs 3250 pounds!  Heavy enough to compete with a loaded pick-up truck.

On March 2, 2012 GM announces a lay-off of 1,300 and a total suspension of Volt production.  

The Obama nightmare is nearly over.

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FAA: Skydiving Sex Is A Gross Violation

Skydive owner David Chrouch says he fired part-time skydiving instructor and porn star Alex Torres.  Chrouch can't decide whether to also fire the company's receptionist, Torres' partner in the skydiving porn video the two made on company time.

The video shows Torres and the receptionist having sex on the skydiving plane before jumping out.  The video continues to record them screwing all the way to the ground and a little while after that too. 

FAA spokesman Ian Gregor says any activity that could distract the pilot while piloting the plane is a violation of federal regulations.

The pilot may have been watching, even oogling, and that - the government cannot abide.  So the FAA and their tenacious crew of sleuths is on the job. The local police in Taft, CA have already exited the case.

Apparently no local laws were violated, not even the ones that would protect school kids looking up or other pilots and skydivers looking down.

But wait...why did the owner of a skydiving company have a professional porn actor on staff in the first place?  Life is a mystery...and the government never sleeps.

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Most Depressing Cities In USA?

The latest research from Men's Health Magazine lists St. Petersburg, Florida as the most depressing place to live in the U.S.

Metrics include anxiety, depression, suicide and crying jags.
The rest of the top 10:

Memphis, TN
Tampa, FL
Miami, FL
Detroit, MI
Louisville, KY
St. Louis, MO
Birmingham, AL
Reno, NV
Las Vegas, NV

The happiest town?  Honolulu, Hawaii.

The big question arises, how come the sunny, playful towns in Florida don't make happy feet, while the moody, depressing weather in Nome, AK, and Seattle, WA leave people alone?  Can't be the weather.

Why, then, are these cities so blue, so down, so dysfunctional?

Notice eight of the top ten are largely populated by blacks and Hispanics - two groups most affected by drug use, poverty, illiteracy, and the struggle staying out of jail.   Reno and Vegas are in Nevada, the bottom in the economy, highest jobless rate, worst schools, and of course, run by a majority of Democrats - including Harry Reid. Tidy analysis, huh?

A plaque on the city-limit signs warning the unwary to look for bliss elsewhere seems in order.  Stay away from there - get out of there - move away, don't even THINK about going there.

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Pencil Pusher's Passions Perfect Pictorializations

Super-Realism or photo-realism is a branch of modern art. Art is not what you see, the art lies in what your unconscious perceives. More simply stated, good art evokes emotion.

Super-Realism to some may seem more like what art is supposed to be, because it depicts something they can recognize readily. That of course, is both the point and not the point. Super-Realism is what the name implies, it is more than real, beyond reality, in other words, the name is an oxymoron - Super-Realism is a reality 'not real'. Sounds like double-talk. But the point is always to manipulate your unconscious.

End of art lesson.

Artist Paul Cadden a 47-year-old, from Scotland, is a pencil photo-realist. Wow is he! Cadden takes his time, but his work is unsurpassed. Cadden creates about seven pieces each year selling at galleries for up to $7,900 each.

Cadden says 'My inspiration comes from the phrase "to intensify the normal". I take everyday objects and scenes of people and then create a drawing which carries an emotional impact - it can be quite beautiful...I try to study the internal aspect of the image rather than focusing solely on the external part. I can fall in love with an image - if that doesn’t sound too hippy.'

Paul, we are pleased you choose to share your obsessed penchant for detail with we mortals..your talent speaks for itself. Good work, man.

300-Pound Naked Sock Thief Tasered At Walmart

Fat people are all over Walmart - even thieves. And we have just the story to prove it.

A giant 6'-4", 300-pound all-naked black man wandered around a Exton, Pa., Walmart wearing nothing but a stolen pair of socks on his feet.

Everyone was scared, even the security guards!

Store surveillance video showed 32-year-old Verdon Lamont Taylor entering the store completely naked. Verdon sauntered over to the sock-aisle and placed a pair of one-size-fits-all athletics on his feet. The trip from his house was no problem, the cold concrete floor of the store apparently got his attention.

Mr Taylor  is cooling his heels in Chester County Prison today unable to meet the $50,000 cash bail. Charges include indecent exposure, aggravated assault, simple assault, retail theft, receiving stolen property and disorderly conduct.

The assault and disorderly where added when Verdon refused to lay down and assume the position. My bet is, well, Verdon already knew the floor was cold, right?

The Woman Who Lied About 911

Pseudologia fantastica is the technical term for a pathological liar.  And when a such a person seizes the sympathy of a nation mourning over a national tragedy like 911, well, now you have the perfect storm of both evil, and cruelty.

Meet Alicia Esteve Head, aka Tania Head the most despicable character to emerge from the 911 disaster other than the Muslim terrorists that planned and carried out the murders.

Ms. Head claimed to have been one of the 19 who survived the inferno. Head weaved a complex set of visual gore, harrowing escape, and even a phantom husband. And to add dimension to her demented ruse, she tortured a real survivor who had become a close friend. In short, Head is not only a pathological liar, but a cruel masochist to boot.

By 2007 the New York Times and others were closing in on Head. So she preempted being exposed by exposing herself that year. Now there is a book detailing the trail of pain caused by this hunk of homely - Tania Head.  The Woman Who Wasn't There is on Amazon for under $20 bucks.

Sadly, Ms. Head escapes any real punishment for her charade.  All we can do is despise this worthless chunk of loathsome, low-life, reprehensible, slimy, sordid, shameful, contemptible, ignominious, insignificant, vile, wretched, detestable, no-good numbskull and relish her obscurity.

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Ben & Jerry's “Schweddy Balls” Leaves Sour Taste

OneMillionMoms, affiliated with the American Family Association, announced a boycott of Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream over a new flavor called “Schweddy Balls.”

“The vulgar new flavor has turned something as innocent as ice cream into something repulsive. Not exactly what you want a child asking for at the supermarket.” says OneMillionMoms.

Ben & Jerry’s is a politically unabashed left-leaning loud-mouthed enterprise.  The company created another controversial name for a product 'Hubby Hubby’ — which endorsed gay marriage.

"But we’ve always been about having some irreverence" said Ben & Jerry’s Sean Greenwood.  The 'fans' Greenwood refers too are secular humanist, toe-licking, east-coast belly-crawlers, we get it. fine. sure.

Wonder if the company thought to get permission from NBC's Saturday Night Live where the writers invented Schweddy Balls? Perhaps the ice cream makers lawyers are just as incompetent as Obama, Pelosi, and Reid?

Wanna bet a creamy-fat lawsuit would leave a bad taste in Ben & Jerry's shareholder's mouths?

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Men Repulsed By Women With Tattoos

The top turn-off for men are tattoos - not on themselves, on the ladies.  A full 80% of males said a tattoo, especially a 'tramp-stamp' signals slut to their sensisbilities.

Women though are fine with body art on boys.  Women dislike beards, stubbly or full flowing - facial hair-follicles freaks the females fondness factor.

Second on both gender lists is bad breath.

As a guy, if you want to ensure a life of solitary singleness let that face hair out a bit, have a little food dangling on the longer hairs.  And savor last nites pizza, beer and bong on your breath before hitting the clubs.

The ladies are allowed a few piercings, but they don't get to put a ring thru a nipple or any lip in any opening anywhere visible or otherwise.

So, if a girl wants to spends nights home watching chic-flicks couch-potatoeing with other rejects inside an apartment full of renegade cats running roughshod over the bean-bag chairs all she need do is tattoo her last boyfriends name on her face.  And forget to floss the sardine pate from between those cigarette stained canines.

Not to worry though.   Tattoos can be removed.  And bad breath beaten.   The bigger risk is being born at the bottom of a gene-pool filled with mutant in-breeders who produce Rasputin doubles and women who look too much like Helen Thomas even on a good day.

In those cases not even clear skin and meticulous oral hygiene are gonna improve your chances much.  So you may as well indulge yourself and load up on ink and root canals - life is short and ya gotta have SOME fun before you check in the equipment.

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TSA Panics Patting Penis Record Holder

The guy with the world's record sized penis was catching a flight out of San Francisco.

After encountering Jonah Falcon's special attribute the male TSA agent insisted there was a pipe bomb, or a 'device' in his shorts and threw bomb detection powder over his body.

TSA claimed Jonah posed a 'biological threat.'  Well, that may be what 'she' said, but Johah's crime is not a national security threat. In fact, some might claim Jonah is a national treasure.

Jonah has a 9-inch lap lizard limp growing to a full 13.5-inches erect - the length of an average woman's arm.

Jonah recalls the encounter, ‘One of the guards asked if my pockets were empty and I said ’Yes.’ I said, ’It’s my dick.’  Anticipating problems Jonah came prepared, ‘I had my ’stuff’ strapped to the left. I wasn’t erect at the time...He gave me a pat down but made sure to go around my penis with his hands.'

Unfazed Jonah says in order to avoid delay on his next flight and risk more molestation of his manhood, he is gonna wear shorts. But that may present a whole new set of problems unless he gets knee-length pants.  Oh yea, Jonah is a white guy...isn't that supposed to be wrong?

Still, ya gotta hand it to TSA - who incidentally refused to comment on this story. No matter what comes thru that line, no matter how dangerously big or nasty the challenge, TSA is gonna take charge and find out what's going on 'down there.'  And dad-gum-it we all 'feel' safer for their efforts, don't we?

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Fat Man Dies Fused To Chair

A morbidly obese man died lodged in a chair he couldn't leave for two years. Two years?

The 500 plus-pound 43-year-old from Bellaire, Ohio, was discovered unconscious by his girlfriend. He had a girlfriend?

She says she fed him sitting in the chair in part because it was too painful for him to rise, and in part because no other chair  was strong enough to support him.

No mention how his bodily byproducts were handled.

Emergency crews had to use a chainsaw to cut a hole in the side of his house and then hoist him onto a flat-bed truck.  Soon after arriving at the hospital, he died. He made it to the hospital?

PC language cops say the guy was 'weight challenged.'  But no matter how you butter his butt or sugar coat his lollipop weighing more than a 500 pound sack of shit qualifies you to be called a:

Grease Trap, Disappearing-Penis-Act, Super Tanker, Big Boned, Queen Kong, Ice Box Junkie, Bootie Barge, Gravity Challenged, Ass Shadow, Dump Truck, Lard Evolved, Goliath-Class, Wider-Than-Tall, Man-Tub,  Thunder Thighs, Sofa-On-Shoes, Crisco Kid, Rumpapotamus, Big Bertha, Tiny Dancer, Cellulisa, Trailer Park, Blimpie, Heavy Tipper, Butter Butt, Wide Load, Can't-See-My-Feet, Cookie Monster, Oprah House, Zip-Code, Jabba Man, UFO (Ubber Fat Object), Forklifter, Heavy Tipper, Barn-Sized, Feast Beast, Doughnut Shop, Cankles (Can't See Ankles), Pepsi Puffer, Prince-O-Pounds,  Ted Zeppelin, Fat Farm, Scale Breaker, Carla Load, Culo Gordo, Circus Freak, Trapped Ina Nitemare, Thigh-Monster, Triptofat, Freight Train, Pork Pantry, Doughboy, Blunder Butt, Dude Is Huge, Foldzilla, Garbage Truck, Bunz-O-Bacon, Elephantina, Muffin Momma, Porkie, Lard Ass, Freak Of Nature, Flesh Beast, Double-Muffin Top, Spam Vacuum, Fatdango, Timmy Tanker, Obese Denise, Ass Of Horrors, Anger Eater, Roll'n Ronnie, Gas Bag, Michellin Man, Pignacious, Sweat Lodge, Cholestrol Crises, Two Ton Tony, Mud Butt, Tallow Tessie, Stinky, Hefty Hank, Mouthra, Sofa Tester, Fannie Annie, Madam Blubberfly, Freddie French Fries, Fat Bastid, Spud Butt, Pie-Hole Hanna, Root Beer Bob, Full Stack, Wind Farm, Factory Reject, Bed Bound And Beyond, Skids Maker, Pork-U-Pounds, BBW, Flabanator, Bob The Slob, Soda Junkie, Sag Story, Grotesqula, Man Boobs, Sugar Momma, Serial Eater, Double-Triple Plus Sized, Twinkie Factory, Transylveinia, Sir Large-A-Lot, Flatulencia, Trainstopper, Chubalito, Rubenesque, Buffet Buzzard, Juggles, Born Big, Chubby Chase, Bone Crusher, Boom Boom, White Whale, Feces Factory, Land Phil

Cruel?  Good grief people this guy grew and died too big to get out of a chair! 

(Disturbing: Americans Eat 500 Million Pounds Of Peanut Butter Annually).

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Climate Change Skeptics Are Racist

Here is the crazed face of what passes for a 'Climate Change' expert. Nut-loose Kari Norgaard is a sociology and environmental studies propaganda charlatan. You know, the non-academic pursuit of half-backed ideas, such as Global Warming.

Kari's face says a lot, doesn't it. If you weren't told she worked in Oregon, she could easily pass as a poster child for the under-50 IQ set. Sadly, it is worse than that - this screwball suggests, with no expertise at all of course, that anyone who rejects or is skeptical regarding global warming is a racist, and a lunatic.

The race card over Global Warming? The left-wing mind is truly disturbed. Kari is not very smart is she...the underlying agenda is pretty clear now.

Kari wants to rid the planet of human beings, except for her and her fatuous fat-headed friends, of course. The bottom line for Kari is not science, or the pursuit of truth, its eugenics (abortion), and alarmism based on no facts or evidence (climate change).

Norgaard is performing at the ‘Planet Under Pressure’ conference in London. There, she suggested that “cultural resistance” to accepting man-made global warming “must be recognized and treated” as an aberrant sociological behavior. Well, there it is, the pot calling the kettle black.

The truth is less exciting. Kari and her breeder pals are the head cases - and they have escaped the asylum.

Dog Days Of Halloween

Okay.  You didn't win life's lottery and showed up on Earth punished as a poodle.  Some schmuck picked you out of a littler of ten other poodle losers and took you home.  At first it looked good.

You settled in chomping tooth-shattering dry lardy brown food they assumed you'd like.  And you took regular dumps on the lawn as trained.  You had it made.  Then it happened.

Halloween. And your owners needed a laugh.  The idea was to stretch a tutu and frilly headgear over your head.  That's when your identity crises began.

But hey your a poodle not a politician.  Could be worse, the neighbor has a chihuahua dressed up like a hobbit.

Like last year the kids will come from all corners of neighborhood incessantly ringing the doorbell looking for free candy far into the night.  Your acute dog hearing becomes your enemy.   Just about every kid you thought you knew from the neighborhood makes you push out a little pee each time the door opens.  There stands little zombies, lurching and laughing at you?

The truth? Adults need Halloween more than the kids do.   Reinventing pets and kids in freakish fashion and frightful foolishness never really gets old.  Even when you escape the humiliation yourself.

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Man Sets Self On Fire After Drinking Gasoline

During the Vietnam war Buddhist monks in orange robes poured gasoline over their bodies and exploded into flame . Dramatic and deadly.

North Carolina seems to have more than its share of good old boys with three-word-names wandering around in search of gas and cigarettes.

The late 43-year-old Gary Allen Banning of Havelock, N.C. was not a Buddhist monk.

Banning was at a friend’s apartment and went into the kitchen finding a jar of 'soda' by the sink. After gulping, Gary realized it was gasoline and quickly spit it out. Some of the gas landed on his shirt. (why was there a mason-jar of gasoline on a kitchen counter?)

After a few minutes, Banning went outside to smoke a cigarette. The second he lit the cancer-nail remnants of gasoline on his shirt burst into flames. Banning died a short time later in the hospital.

The difference between Gary and the Buddhist monk is noteworthy. The monks lit themselves intentionally in protest over Johnson's war. Gary did it because the inbreeding leading to him left out the gene that would warn an intelligent person that gasoline is still flammable, even after it dries on your tee-shirt.

Yoda Is World's Ugliest Dog

Elwood, who is often referred to as “Yoda” or “E.T.,” competed against 13 other dogs at the Sonoma-Marin County Fair’s annual ugly dog contest in Petaluma, California

Where else would the World's Ugliest Dog contest be held, judged, and the ugly dogs found?  Sonoma-Marin California, of course, land of fruits, nuts, freaks, flakes, and all the bizarro world that left-wing central has devolved.

Elwood is the dogs name, but he goes by the nickname 'Yoda', a shocking example of a Chinese-crested Chihuahua mix - and we are talking mixed, like a pile of debris from a two-story house obliterated by a tornado is mixed.

Yoda's owner Terry Schumacher fled when she first encountered the two-pound dog abandoned behind an apartment building, guessing the animal was a rat. So naturally she couldn't look away, in fact, she just had to have him.

For Yoda, the mix of hairless ears, frizzy muddy fur, cloudy crazy eyes, and a protruding tongue were more than enough to wipe out the rest of the competition.

Yoda seemed well pleased, as he wobbled across the stage after being named, whereupon, he stumbled off the edge of the platform, thumping the ground, amid the clamoring press, and horrified onlookers.  Not to worry, Yoda was fine, and went home soon after to his bowl of ugly food, in his ugly little corner of the house, to live out his ugly days, in ugly splendor, crowned most ugly in the land of ugly.

The cruelty of nature has no bounds.

Portland Parents Sue For 'wrongful birth'

Four years ago Ariel and Deborah Levy were pretty jazzed when their daughter was born. But soon after the little girl's first blood test - trouble.

Newborn Kalanit had Down's syndrome.

Deborah did have the prenatal test for Down's syndrome - chorionic villus sampling. The tests results were 'normal' - no Down's syndrome.

After raising little Kalanit for four years, the couple are suing Legacy's Center for Maternal-Fetal Medicine for allegedly blowing the tests.

The suit alleges had they known Kalanit was Down's syndrome, they would have aborted her. And now they want Legacy to pay for the added cost and anxiety of being 'stuck' with a special needs kid - $3 million.

The trial is locked down, no photos of the couple. Many view them as heartless blamers. The couple admit openly they would have 'selected' Kalanit for an abortion. Fully 89% of parents who test positive for Down syndrome do exactly that.

Looking closer, this thing is a tragedy for all concerned. The couple already had a pair of sons, normal, intelligent, and achieving. The daughter was not a planned pregnancy - Deborah was already 34 and had the CVS test done quickly.

A 'wrongful birth' win by this couple would certainly cast a brand new chill over medicine.  Second guessing fickle parents over prenatal test results will be a trial lawyers wet dream.

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Camden Officially Poorest City In USA

Michelle Obama wants to ignore millions of homeless now wandering the urban underbelly.

Sure, there have always been homeless. We once called them hobos, bums, tramps, beggars, drifters, vagabonds and street people.   But while Obama wants to blame others, the tragedy has grown to record levels.

Over half of Detroit's population is poor and living among the ruins of a city once famous for making cars and music.  In Camden the scourge is even worse.  Camden wins the title of most impoverished city.   The 'official' jobless rate is 9.9% but the actual number of people without work is way over 20%.

Like Detroit, Camden looks like Dresden after the fire-bombings. Only the structures are filled with people who would be dead from starvation were it not for the red ink spending on food programs.  Camden has no tax base, not with half the city wandering the streets and the other half with jobs that lack the income to pay taxes.

After four years of failed economic policy under Obama the Camden disaster is a nationwide phenomenon.  Every city has homeless and blight spreading ever more far and wide.  Bernanke's money printing does not trickle down to these people.  And Michelle Obama says they don't exist.

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