Fat Man Dies Fused To Chair

A morbidly obese man died lodged in a chair he couldn't leave for two years. Two years?

The 500 plus-pound 43-year-old from Bellaire, Ohio, was discovered unconscious by his girlfriend. He had a girlfriend?

She says she fed him sitting in the chair in part because it was too painful for him to rise, and in part because no other chair  was strong enough to support him.

No mention how his bodily byproducts were handled.

Emergency crews had to use a chainsaw to cut a hole in the side of his house and then hoist him onto a flat-bed truck.  Soon after arriving at the hospital, he died. He made it to the hospital?

PC language cops say the guy was 'weight challenged.'  But no matter how you butter his butt or sugar coat his lollipop weighing more than a 500 pound sack of shit qualifies you to be called a:

Grease Trap, Disappearing-Penis-Act, Super Tanker, Big Boned, Queen Kong, Ice Box Junkie, Bootie Barge, Gravity Challenged, Ass Shadow, Dump Truck, Lard Evolved, Goliath-Class, Wider-Than-Tall, Man-Tub,  Thunder Thighs, Sofa-On-Shoes, Crisco Kid, Rumpapotamus, Big Bertha, Tiny Dancer, Cellulisa, Trailer Park, Blimpie, Heavy Tipper, Butter Butt, Wide Load, Can't-See-My-Feet, Cookie Monster, Oprah House, Zip-Code, Jabba Man, UFO (Ubber Fat Object), Forklifter, Heavy Tipper, Barn-Sized, Feast Beast, Doughnut Shop, Cankles (Can't See Ankles), Pepsi Puffer, Prince-O-Pounds,  Ted Zeppelin, Fat Farm, Scale Breaker, Carla Load, Culo Gordo, Circus Freak, Trapped Ina Nitemare, Thigh-Monster, Triptofat, Freight Train, Pork Pantry, Doughboy, Blunder Butt, Dude Is Huge, Foldzilla, Garbage Truck, Bunz-O-Bacon, Elephantina, Muffin Momma, Porkie, Lard Ass, Freak Of Nature, Flesh Beast, Double-Muffin Top, Spam Vacuum, Fatdango, Timmy Tanker, Obese Denise, Ass Of Horrors, Anger Eater, Roll'n Ronnie, Gas Bag, Michellin Man, Pignacious, Sweat Lodge, Cholestrol Crises, Two Ton Tony, Mud Butt, Tallow Tessie, Stinky, Hefty Hank, Mouthra, Sofa Tester, Fannie Annie, Madam Blubberfly, Freddie French Fries, Fat Bastid, Spud Butt, Pie-Hole Hanna, Root Beer Bob, Full Stack, Wind Farm, Factory Reject, Bed Bound And Beyond, Skids Maker, Pork-U-Pounds, BBW, Flabanator, Bob The Slob, Soda Junkie, Sag Story, Grotesqula, Man Boobs, Sugar Momma, Serial Eater, Double-Triple Plus Sized, Twinkie Factory, Transylveinia, Sir Large-A-Lot, Flatulencia, Trainstopper, Chubalito, Rubenesque, Buffet Buzzard, Juggles, Born Big, Chubby Chase, Bone Crusher, Boom Boom, White Whale, Feces Factory, Land Phil

Cruel?  Good grief people this guy grew and died too big to get out of a chair! 

(Disturbing: Americans Eat 500 Million Pounds Of Peanut Butter Annually).

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