9th Circuit Bans Stars And Stripes In Schools

Did you think you'd live long enough to see the American Flag banned from public school campuses?

Remember left-wing radicals in the 60s burning the flag?  Remember the flag sewn onto asses and dragged thru the mud and trampled in public?

The courts said it was cool because it was protected speech.  The flag symbolizes the sacrifice of millions in defense of freedom and that same freedom allows anyone to desecrate the flag itself.  Ironic huh?.

Now fast forward to the Obama era.   A high school in Gilroy, CA saw tensions rise as a group of 'white' kids began to wear shirts with the US flag on them, and a counter group of 'Latino' kids started parading the Mexican flag in protest. Oh, and yes...the 'Latino' kids had a fun afternoon of flag burning too.

The courts are supposed to protect the speaker and arrest the thugs threatening free speech, not suppress the speaker’s speech. But the 9th circuit has once again sided with the thugs that hate the country.  They banned the US flag from public school campuses.

Of course the ruling won't stand. SCOTUS has more than enough 1st amendment case law to uphold wearing the flag on a tee-shirt. But it's grim to witness once again a band of country haters win.  And once again thanks to American citizens sitting on a federal bench.

Hairy Women Freed At Last

Hairy women have it hard.  The mono-brows and the sasquates spend hair-raising hours plucking, waxing, threading, epilating and lasering the turvy tufts of vibrisa and a lot of the longer stuff too.

Is there hope for the piliferous? Maybe.

One woman with Greek parents thinks she has it all down.  Anna McGee has spent 30 years trying every creme, lotion, tool, and trance promising much and producing little.  So she set out on her own.

Anna wants whiskered women worldwide to check their cheeks, chins, nostrils, upper lips, underarms, forearms, legs, backs, stomachs, toes, fingers, and bikini lines one last time and give her ideas a try. 

No guarantees, but hey, it's free advise and we all know what that's worth - right?.

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Warning: Penis Cancer Rising

Penis cancer was once pretty rare.  But the disease has risen 20% over the past 30 years. Why?

Risk factors include smoking, non circumcision, HPV (Human Papilloma Virus), and planting your penis in precarious, perilous and perverted places.

Penis cancer is easy to beat if caught early but guys going in for sex checks are getting misdiagnosed.

In 2011, 58-year-old Nigel Smith went in for a check and came out being told he just had a little knot on his dick. Nigel figured he could fix the problem by sleeping on the couch and avoiding his wife. Last year Nigel underwent a partial penectomy (partial removal of the penis). The knot turned out to be cancer.

Nigel notes, 'By the time I saw a urologist, the cancer was stage 3 – one stage away from terminal. I’m now in temporary remission but there’s a 50/50 chance that the disease will return as a secondary cancer – maybe in my lungs or liver.'

For Nigel sex is a thing of the past and neither he nor his wife are pleased.

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Wealthy Women Want Conservative Men

Wealthy liberal, moderate and conservative women prefer conservative men says MillionaireMatch.com.

An astonishing 77% of self-identified Democrat Party female millionaires, and 82% of female millionaires overall, said they 'would prefer to date a conservative man.'  'Simply put, conservative men are real men. They are the breadwinners, they wear the pants and they treat you like a lady,' one respondent said.

Still, 10% of the women thought metro-sexual males were more like them and understood their needs better.

Many of the women based their assumptions on stereotyping of course, but there is substance to why liberal men are perceived as weak and waffling. The dirty secret is liberal males are manipulators and lack the ability to tell the difference between right and wrong. And strong, intelligent women sense the truth about them.

That still doesn't mean all conservative men are saints, heck no.  The list of turds is full on both sides.

But real men are able to do it all; be sensitive to others needs, be steadfast in the face of adversity, fight against the nihilism of the left, be productive, moral, and above all be unabashed and unapologetic in their love, respect and fierce protectiveness of their families.

And it appears real women want such men in their lives.

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USA Suffering National Clown Shortage

Is it possible with all the clowns in the Whitehouse and US Senate there's actually a clown shortage in the country?

“What’s happening is attrition,” said Clowns of America International President Glen Kohlberger. “The older clowns are passing away.”

Memberships in Clowns Of America is way down.  And like the great generation who carried the country through WWII the old clowns are likewise dying off at an accelerated pace.  And no one is putting on the big floppy shoes to replace them.

“The challenge is getting younger people involved in clowning,” said Deanna (Dee Dee) Hartmier. Wonder if Dee Dee knows about the Occupy movement?   The suspicion is that after high school kids are less interested in clowning around and so don't consider refining skills they picked-up in gym class as a possible career move. 

Ringling Bros. seems to be unaffected for now - they're even demanding deeper clown resumes.  The circus says they keep a tight roster of just twenty-six clowns around, and only twelve of them are allowed in the ring at a time.

“Our audience expects to be wowed,” said David Kiser, Ringling Bros. director of talent. “No longer is it good enough to just drop your pants and focus on boxer shorts.”  Guess that exempts Bill Clinton and Pee Wee Herman from trying out.

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1 In 4 Americans Think Sun Orbits Earth

The National Science Foundation does an bi-annual survey to gauge the general level of science knowledge among a random group of 3000 people or so.

The questions are about as basic as possible and the results this time are unsurprising given the ponderous decline of public education in the USA.

Ten questions in the physical and biological sciences were on the quiz.  The average score was 6.5 - a farcical fat fail.  But that's not the worst part.

Just 74% knew the Earth revolved around the Sun.

Of course liberals will want to drive more money into the problem.  And the Democrats will once again try to blame 'backward right-wing bible thumpers' or Bush.  The answer of course is the exact opposite.

Liberal public education is a national disgrace.  US schools began the decline about the same time the Democrats cobbled together their War On Poverty.  Since 1964 the 50-year effort has resulted in record poverty and a colossal $7.2 trillion bucks of wasted spending. 

Einstein aptly once noted, one definition of 'insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.'

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Mom Subjects Son To Cruel Social Experiment

Without any science to back her assumptions 23-year-old Lisa Price is playing dice with her own son's psyche in a kind of cruel home-spun child-rearing experiment.

Lisa postulates, 'Gender stereotypes can be so damaging....they teach little boys to be aggressive and dominant over women... It's detrimental for them and for females'

Little one-year-old Max is led to his bedroom by mommy Lisa and comes out wearing a dark blue, knee-length dress decorated with pink flamingos.  Then Max starts to play with one of his many dolls pretending to take it for a walk.  At one point holding it to his chest pretending to breast feed the toy.

Lisa admits when people visit they react with shock. But Lisa is hellbent on raising her son in what she calls a 'gender neutral parenting' mode. ‘I hope that Max won’t get teased when he’s older. But part of what we are trying to do with Max is to instill such a sense of confidence, and a sense of who he is, that he won’t care what anyone else thinks.'

Lisa says her 'epiphany' to play with her sons development came a year ago when she took part in an online amateur discussion of high-profile rape cases. Her take-away? 'Gender stereotypes can be so damaging.'

Guess gender neutral means dressing a boy in girls clothes?  Lisa, you do know rape is about power and control, not sex or gender?  When Max grows up and figures out what you did what message do you think he will guess you sent?

Lisa also admits she knows Max will run into trouble showing up to school in girls clothing, so she says she's gonna home school him.  Max will benefit from the home schooling, but he probably can do without the jack-booted-feminist emasculation stripping him of his male inheritance.

Max has no say in the lunacy.  None of us gets to pick our parents, right?

Woman Flames Tick Dog Explodes In Fireball

Getting ticks and fleas off a dog is messy.  First, locate the tick, light a stick match and blow it out, press the red-hot match-tip to the ticks ass, then pinch the blood-filled tick-butt with a pair of pliers and yank.

The match is needed because ya a got the tick's attention first.  Just yanking it out raw will leave behind the head leading to a bad infection and an unhappy canine.

Florida dog owner Telma Botcherby went the pesticide route with Ruby her pet, instead.  After dousing the dog Telma looked down at the floor and spotted one of the ticks running for cover.  She later told police she took out a cigarette lighter and tried to blow torch it before it got back on the dog.

Ruby got excited and ran over to check out the tick BBQ.  The fumes rolling off Ruby from the pesticide spray exploded in a fireball.

Temla's hubby grabbed the dog inferno and dove into the swimming pool.  The vet later noted the action saved the Ruby's life.  But Ruby suffered 2nd degree burns over 25% of her hairless body.  And has to stand-up to sleep now.

The lesson is simple.  Use the pliers and avoid the flammable poisons.  You're dog will sleep better.

Science: Shroud Of Turin Is Real, Again

The on again - off again authenticity chase surrounding the Shroud Of Turin is a two thousands year quest. 

In 1988 the Catholic Church gave science a chunk of the cloth to do carbon dating.  The tests suggested the relic was only 728 years old, and therefore a forgery.

Hang on Mordecai, there's more...Did you know there was a major earthquake in 33AD sometime just after the crucifixion of Jesus Christ?  That part is science, not bibilical retelling.  

Okay, so what?

An Italian team at the Politecnico di Torino says the powerful magnitude 8.2 earthquake would have released neutron particles from crushed rock.  The neutrons may explain the X-ray-like image on the linen burial cloth due to a reaction with nitrogen nuclei say the scientists. 

More relevant the radiation emissions would have jammed the whole thing with carbon-14 isotopes. If true, the 1988 experiment would have been bogus.  The Shroud would indeed be placed at the time of Christ and not a forgery!

Mark Antonacci is president of the Resurrection of the Shroud Foundation and has petitioned Pope Francis to allow molecular analysis in order to verify the molecular theory.

Wuddya think?  Is the game back on?

Bushwacker Most Feared Bull In Rodeo

Meet the 1,700-pound American Bucking Bull Bushwacker crowned King of the Bulls.  The bull that everyone fears and no one can ride.

Bushwacker travels to work in a $50,000 trailer he bought himself. The big bovine was World Champion in 2010, 2011 and 2013 and was runner-up 2012.  And that's why a $25,000 bonus is needed to entice anyone to try before he parks his trailer for the last time.

Rodeos award points to both cowboy and bull.  Of 57 riders in five years just one stayed on.  'I was 10 feet tall and bulletproof when it was over,' crowed cowboy J B Mauney. 

Mauney says Bushwacker isn't tough because he's big and strong, a lotta bulls are bigger and stronger.  Nah, Bushwacker gets them off by being 'smart'  says Mauney.

Bushwacker starts by taking an 8-yard all air leap out of the chute then drops his double-half-ton frame down hard and starts to kick.  The combo is more than enough to send the most hardened cowpokes onto their asses.

Bushwacker is feared and respected for being the best and for being fair.  He never tries to stomp or gore them with a horn when they get bucked off. Gotta be glad for that!

Getting Bushwacker to play rodeo is a little tough because he can't stand people. . Still, he's a pro says owner Moreno, so he does what he does and then waits for trailer ride back home.

Janet Napolitano's Fantasy To Skate At Sochi

Is it wrong to be shocked and disgusted at the notion having Janet Napolitano strap on a pair of skates and lumber out onto the ice at Sochi?

Napolitano took time off from her job as president of the University of California to replace Obama as the head of the US delegation at Sochi  Obama was sticking his thumb in Russia's eye not attending no doubt because the meek Barry feels justifiably overshadowed by a much more sophisticated and clever Vladimir Putin.

CNNs debate sabotager Cindy Crowley interviewed the former boss of Homeland Security on her return to California.   

CROWLEY: '...if you could...participate in any sport...at the Sochi Olympics, what would that be?'  NAPOLITANO: 'I have to say, when you see the figure skaters and the beauty of their performances, it does make one jealous.'

Yikes! Suppose Janet did somehow break loose from her moorings and manage to get out onto the ice?  The Russians would be forced to call-up one of their circus bears and send the creature out to complete the show.  

Betcha spectators would have trouble telling them apart.

Zimmerman Versus DMX Fight Cancelled

Just as fast as the grudge 'charity' match between George Zimmerman and rapper DMX was announced the fight's been called off.  Surprised?

Zimmerman's boxing promoter Damon Feldman said 15,000 guys wanted in on the action. But Feldman's backing out because public backlash got too ferocious.  Remember, Zimmerman is hated by the liberals, and no one hates hotter than a liberal.

The guy picked to fight the 30-year-old Zimmerman was the aging 47-year-old rapper DMX.  DMX promised to break every rule in boxing 'to make sure to fuck him right up'.  The rapper said he was going to urinate on Zimmerman's face if he won.  Sort of a new low in boxing trash talk.

But alas it's not to be.  Looks like blustering blacks are just gonna have to wait till a boxing promoter with a little more backbone steps up and gives Zimmerman his chance to humiliate DMX in the ring.

French Railroad Holocaust Past Catches Up

Maryland wants bidders on their $6 billion buck light rail project. But it doesn't want the French state owned railroad SNFC to try.  Why?

Because the unrepentant company hauled holocaust victims to their deaths and to this day refuses to compensate families or apologize.

Some 50,000 Marylanders signed a petition demanding the railroad with the dirty past not participate.  Maryland state senator Joan Carter Conway told Le Monde: ‘The persistent refusal of SNCF to take responsibility for its role in the Holocaust remains an insult to its victims.’

Alain Leray, head of SNCF in America whines about ‘possible discrimination’. Leray insists his company has a right to operate in the USA. Sorta like when SNCF did business with the Nazis, right Alain?

Oh, for the record? Over 70,000 French Jews were rounded up by French cops and herded onto SNCF trains for their final ride to the death camps.

Sure scores of other German companies and plenty of Italian companies are likewise tainted with the same Holocaust past, but so what?  Not every drunk driver gets caught either.  Doesn't mean the ones we do catch shouldn't pay the penalty.

Trayvon Defender Donna Edwards Bombs DC Press Dinner

The Congressional Black Caucus are the primary water carriers on the plantation the Democrats have setup to keep willing idiots in the black community on the grounds and voting for white Democrats like Nancy Pelosi and Bill Clinton.

Donna Edwards is a water bucket tender and member of the Black Caucus. She was last seen on FoxNews Sunday just after the George Zimmerman verdict calling for action to change state laws to 'make sure that all of our young Trayvons have justice.'

Donna was invited to speak at the Washington Press Dinner last week and delivered what is now being called the 'most painful' speech yet seen in decades.  What did she say?

Edwards first played a home video in which she pretended to be John Boehner's mistress.  She followed the goofy video with a speech written by The Daily Show, Lizz Winstead. The Winstead piece was supposed to take a stab at Mike Huckabee who characterized Democrat's view of woman as big government 'Uncle Sugar' aiding women to control their libidos. To wit, Edward's snot-bubble retort, “Come on, help me y’all: I want to give a really special shout out to Nancy Pelosi and all my sisters in the libido caucus--holla’!”

In the end, the excruciating tirade did little more than prove Donna is pretty pissed-off over just about anything a Republican might utter.

One reporter said, “I think everyone in that room wanted to drag their fingernails across their face.” Another guessed, “You can confidently say the urinals in the mens’ bathroom was full.”

Looks like justice for Trayvon is gonna have to wait for some other misguided angry black woman to jump up and give a horrific speech at a press dinner.  Donna, you're fired!.

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Squealing Pigs In Heat Lead To 911 Call

Maine is filled with stories of shipwrecks, ghosts in old lighthouses, noises in the woods, and long, cold winters.  

Last week the cops in China, Maine got a domestic violence call. Someone reported loud, banshee-like screaming coming from a house 'down Hanson road.'  

The officers turned the corner onto the wet, muddy, red rutted lane leading to a rural farm.  The officers jumped from the patrol car, pushed the rickety screen door to the side and busted through the out-of-plumb wooden door.  A startled resident flinched, spun around and looked up.

What's going on, officers?  Screaming?  Oh, you must be talking about my pigs...  The lady could barely get the words out that she raises pigs and the screaming came from an overjoyed male pig placed in a pen with five sows in heat.

The police report read in part...no altercation found, no drunken husband cornering a battered mate, not even a toothless drug addict fighting over a stash; nothing ‘other than the screaming male pig.’

The 911 caller must be from New York. Case closed.

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Obama: ObamaCare Job Losses Are 'Opportunity'

Shock!  The CBO report released yesterday confirms the long held suspicion that ObamaCare is killing full-time jobs and adding trillions to the national debt.

The errant law puts a limit on the number of hours an employee can work and still avoid being sucked into the dreaded ID stealing, cost doubling, doctor shortage making, abortion funding exchanges.

The CBO says ObamaCare injects a disincentive to work by offering subsidized reasons to stay home.

The Obama goons had advanced warning of the report and cooked up probably the most absurd, astoundingly patronizing, laughable spin in politics. Even for a WH that specializes in twisting reality.

The idea is to paint job losses as an 'unemployment opportunity.'  Harry Reid says quitting or losing your full-time job makes you a 'free agent.'

According to Obama, Obamacare frees Americans who are all 'trapped in a job.'  Yikes!

Liberal lames love to launder.  Remember, cold is warm for these idiots too - no matter what the climate does, it's still a catastrophe of man-made doings.  So why not call a job loss a gain?  It's not a lie if you believe it yourself, right Harry?

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Science: 3D Scans Reveal Proper Hamburger Grip

Well, it's about time science solved the life pressing problem of how best to hold a hamburger.  The conundrum has baffled burger biters since Fletcher Davis of Athens, Texas conjured up his self-described 'burgers' at the St. Louis World's Fair in 1880.

So what's the answer?  Two fisted or one, five fingered or ten, squeezed, squashed, gnawed or nibbled burger aficionados need to know.

Using 3D scanners and a sophisticated computer model three researchers – experts in mechanics, engineering, and dentistry – spent four months cracking the quandary.

The solution turned out to be a two handed thumbs back, three fingered front little fingers bottom grasp.   The technique is said to control spillage, squirting, pickle pooping and bun bruising avoiding the dreaded paws on patty syndrome.

Oh, and the team advises 'warming' the mouth muscles. The exercise will help avoid under-shooting the first bite and risking a catsup squirt on your lap or glasses. 

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Top Ten Most Dangerous Neighborhoods In USA

Get ready to not be surprised.  Neighborhood.com has your list of the  neighborhoods to keep your butt out of if you wanna avoid being shot, keep your car, and hang-on to your wallet. 

Oh, 'coincidentally' all are black dominated hoods: 

10: Saginaw, MI (E Holland Ave / E Genesee Ave)
9: Atlanta, GA (Hopkins St SE / Adair Ave SE)
8: Greenville, SC (Woodside)
7: Detroit, MI (Wyoming St / Orangelawn St)
6: Houston, TX (Scott St / Wilmington St)
5: Spartanburg, SC (Washington Heights)
4: Chicago, IL (S Halsted St / W 77th St)
3: Detroit, MI (Gratiot Ave / Rosemary)
2: Detroit, MI (Mack Ave / Helen St)

And the winner is: Detroit, MI (W Chicago / Livernois Ave).

Basically, your chances of being shot in most of these cities is about 1 in 4.  Which explains why black males have a 50/50 chance of being shot at or before age 30.  So much for equal opportunity, huh folks?

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Black Groups: Remove 'Black' From Crime Reports

The University Of Minnesota went on lockdown due to an attempted robbery two months ago.  Since then 25 robberies have taken place. So the university is issuing crime and safety bulletins in an attempt to keep people on their toes and on the lookout - the problem?

The university includes black in the warnings.

The Black Faculty Association, Black Men’s Forum, and Huntley House for African American Males sent a letter to University President Eric Kaler demanding the race reference 'black' be dropped from campus security bulletins.  

Ian Taylor Jr., president of the Black Men’s Forum said, 'The repeated black, black, black suspect...and what that does it really discomforts the mental and physical comfort for students...”

The black groups want everyone to undergoe diversity training and refrain from what they charge as racial profiling.  The groups want crime reports to describe clothing, voice accents, and descriptions of cars, instead.

Wait a minute, aren't reversed Oakland Raider hats pulled over nappy hair, low-rider-baggy pants, hoodies, gold capped front teefs, spitting unintelligible ebonics, and speeding off in a black Crown Victoria race profiling too?

Biker Buried Riding His Harley

Bill Stanley really, really, really loved riding his full dress 1967 Harley-Davidson Electra Glide. So much so he took the bike with him to the grave, literally.

The 82-year old had time to plan for the big day dying slowly from lung cancer.  

So he and his sons fashioned the platform and plexiglass box big and strong enough to hold Bill on his bike dressed in helmet, sun glasses and full leather riding gear five-years ahead of schedule.

Bill didn't just want the motorcycle in the grave with him, oh no, he wanted to be attached to the vehicle sitting upright with arms outstretched in an eerie life-like street-riding pose. So the embalmers fashioned a metal frame bent in the right places to make it happen.

Surrounded by family and other biker pals snaping pictures, Bill was lowered into the king-sized grave by a crane.  And for the enviro-weenies ready to whine about Bill's idea, notice he did paint his cage in environmentally responsible, non-leaded, bio-degradable green.

Hope someone didn't hit a turn blinker as they lowered him into the ground...

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