Cellphones Cause Cancer

It's official...after years of suspicion a new study has emphatically shown a link between cancer and cellphone microwave radiation exposure.

'These data are a clear sign of the real risks this kind of radiation poses for human health,' study author Dr. Igor Yakymenko of the National Academy Of Sciences, Ukraine warns. 

Adults on a cellphone 20 minutes a day for 5 years increase risk of a brain tumor by 3X.  Using the phone 1 hour day for 4 years hikes the risk 3X to 5X.  Early onset Parkinson's and Alzheimer's are also risks.

Kids were not tracked but due to still developing brains are even more vulnerable.  Hands-free or face finality folks...

HIV Cure From Cancer Drug

Researchers say they can activate latent HIV, a first step necessary to 'flushing out' the virus from silent reservoirs.

Millions are HIV positive across the world. They depend on anti-retroviral therapy (HAART) to stay alive.

HIV hides reservoirs as inactive virus that are invisible to the body's immune system.  So Once treatment is stopped these pools empty virus back into the body and the infection comes roaring back.

A UC Davis team say their compound PEP005 - the active ingredient in a FDA approved anti-cancer drug PICATO - increases HIV activation in patient's blood samples.

If true, the combination of this therapy with other drugs already used to kill the virus could lead to a complete eradication and an end to HIV and AIDS.

Kissing Causes Cancer

That's right, oral osculation is carcinogenic.

In fact, kissing is worse than smoking and booze in the race to malignancy bedlam. How?

Tongue kissing lodges the human papilloma virus (HPV) in the oropharynx.   HPV is behind 70% of head and neck cancer says Royal Darwin Hospital, Dr Mahiban Thomas.

Remember weedkillers, coffee, toast, broccoli, onions, strawberry's, plastic water bottles, air travel, rice, beer, the sun, chest xrays, cell phones, lack of sex, being fat as a teenager, grilled meat, and bacon?

Just add kissing to the end of the list and you're good to go.

Diaper Bag Bugger Busted

Teri Smith, 37, of Salt Lake City, UT is charged with three counts of wiretapping after she admitted to placing a microphone in a diaper bag to tape conversations between her ex-husband and their two kids.

The bugger and her ex are engaged in a long custody battle over the kids.

Dad discovered the recorder and confronted Smith but found another recorder in a child's coat pocket several days later. So he turned her narrow rear over to the cops.

Each wiretapping charge is a third-degree felony carrying jail time of five years and/or a fine of up to $5,000.

Obama Good For Guns

Gun production and sales have doubled under Obama.

“The ATF confirms...Barack Obama deserves the 'Gun Salesman of the Decade' award,” said Erich Pratt, of Gun Owners of America.

"People...[are]...afraid that Obama will take away their Second Amendment rights.”  And with good reason, Obama is even going after Social Security recipient's gun rights.

The mass shooting in Louisiana today underscores another inconvenient truth - you are a sitting duck if unarmed in a gun free zone....

Cecil The Lion Is Dead

Cecil the Lion, 13, was the oldest and grandest lion in Hwange National Park, Zimbabwe.

Cecil was lured off the park then shot with an arrow by Minnesota dentist Walter Palmer who paid $55k for the 'privilege.'

The hapless beast was tracked for two days and finished off with a rifle. Palmer then cut off the head and skinned the animal leaving the headless carcass to rot in the sun.

Cecil's demise threatens his pride full of cubs since a new lion may kill them in his absence.  Two of Cecil's cubs were killed last week.

Cancer From Sleep Loss

A mouse study has uncovered a link between irregular sleep and cancer.

'This is the first study that unequivocally shows a link between chronic light-dark inversions and breast cancer development,' researchers noted.

So far this week we have cancer warnings for weedkillers, coffee, toast, broccoli, onions, strawberrys, plastic water bottles, air travel, rice, beer, the sun, chest xrays, cell phones, lack of sex, being fat as a teenager, grilled meat, and bacon.

Guess we better get a bigger notepad.

One-Quarter Of US Kids Poor

Almost a quarter of kids in the USA live below the poverty line.  And that's just an average...

Looking at the problem from a race angle, 39% of black kids are poor, 37% of American Indian kids are poor, and 33% of Hispanic kids are poor.

All this despite the record debt spending on social programs and other nonsense.

When Obama took office the poverty rate for kids was 18%, today it's 24%...call me crazy, but shouldn't blowing trillions on poverty programs be driving poverty down not up?

Obama's Social Security Gun Ban

Gun sales are restricted based on State and FBI background checks. The idea is to keep felons and head-cases from owning a gun.

Obama wants to pervert the Social Security system by preventing gun ownership for those who have others manage their benefit money.

Who's getting guns?  The black murder rate is 8 times higher than all other groups combined. Of course, black shooters aren't on Social Security.

Once again, Obama ignores the real problem and goes after law abiding citizens and their constitution rights.

Cancer From Weedkiller

Seems like cancer is everywhere...toast and coffee contain acrylamides, plastics leech vinyl chloride, and broccoli-onions-strawberries have acetaldehyde a known carcinogen.

Still, a good scare is not a thing to waste...who cares if people get crazy from all the arm-waving, right?

Glyphosate is in weed killers like Roundup.  The chemical is so pervasive it's been found in human breast milk, urine and foods like bread.

The International Agency for Research on Cancer (IARC) says it's “probably” carcinogenic and some countries banned it's use.  But are they full of shit?

The German Federal Institute for Risk Assessment says in over 30 studies there was “no validated or significant relationship” between glyphosate and cancer.

So now what?  Even if you find organic bread you can't toast or spread strawberry jam on it or wash it down with a bottled water or a cup of coffee.

CDC Warns No Chicken Kissing

The Centers for Disease Control has issues a nationwide health alert warning people not to kiss a chicken.

"Our 9-year-old daughter wanted a dog for her birthday and we surprised her with chickens instead. She was at first disappointed," said parent Ruth Harrigan living in upstate New York.

The child and the chicken are inseperaple now.  The chicken is so popular that Ruth's neighbors have gotten their kids chickens too.

"Chickens actually have salmonella naturally and they don't get sick from it, but humans do, and the main symptoms are diarrhea, fever and abdominal pain," Dr. Robert Glatter of the CDC.

The Harrigan's don't care...despite nearly 400 dying from salmonella each year...

Chimp Hand Superior To Human Hand

A study published in the magazine Nature Communications contends chimp hands are superior to human hands.

“The findings suggest that the structure of the modern human hand is largely primitive in nature...,” said Kurtis Hiatt from George Washington University.

Has anyone seen a chimp on a construction site?  How about a monkey brain surgeon?  Maybe a simian violin virtuoso?

Do these goofs get that human hands build civilizations and put homo sapiens on top of the food chain while Pan troglodytes (species name for monkeys) sit on hairy asses flicking feces and scavenging termite mounds for food? 

Obama's Counterfeit Law

Pamela Downs was arrested in a Kingsport, TN grocery-gas-station passing a counterfeit five dollar bill.

The cops searched Downs' apartment and found paper, scissors, glue and a printer apparently used to print an estimated $30,000 to $50,000.

Downs told authorities she read online that President Obama had made a new law that permitted her to print her own money because she is on a fixed income.

Well, Obama may not be printing money, but the Federal Reserve does and their money is a helluva lot more impressive than Pam's, apparently...

Wind Turbine Brain Breaker

People living near wind farms are reporting sleep deprivation, mood swings, migraines and depression.  Medicine has not been able to pinpoint the cause, until now.

Dr Christian Koch of the Max Planck Institute for Human Development in Berlin used brain scans to prove infrasound as low as 8hz – a whole octave below human hearing – is registering in the primary auditory cortex. 

The wind industry correctly contends that wind turbines make sounds below human hearing.  But this research proves the 'inaudible' sounds are affecting human brains.

Australia is ending wind farm subsidies.  While Obama's around no such prudent measure will be taken in the USA.  Gotta wait till after the next election...

Dildo Leads To Domestic Violence Arrest

Annette Kielhurn and 'partner' Gamze Capaner-Ridley were divvying up their crap in front of a cop when Kielhurn grabbed Capaner-Ridly by the arm and drove a dildo into her face.

Officer Eric Blomgren arrested Keilhurn who was later charged with domestic battery.

Court records show Kielhurn was arrested in June for trespassing (case pending) and served three years in prison for narcotics trafficking.

Kielhurn's a former prison guard and tattooed Capaner-Ridley's name across her chest.   And now apparently, she's sans dildo, a bunch of clothes, and a lesbian partner to match the name on her boobs... 

$1M Ruby Red Slippers Reward

One of four pairs of ten cent stage props from the 1939 classic Wizard of Oz was stolen ten years ago from Judy Garland's Minnesota hometown museum.

The stolen ruby red high heels were insured for $1 million.

But some goof from Arizona is offering $1 million bucks for information leading to the location and the arrest of the thief  anyway. 

In L Frank Baum's original book the shoes Dorothy wore were silver.  But the costume designer on the Wizard Of Oz changed them to glittering red, '...to take advantage of...Technicolor movies.'

These days you only find red high heels on $2 hookers...shows how much times have changed...

Feds Blow $2M On Nagging Wives

 

The Obama admin has more than doubled the debt. On what?

Since 2012 Obama's NIH has spent $2 million targeting men who use smokeless tobacco by recruiting their wives and girlfriends to nag them to death.

“American women don’t need the federal government spending money to get us to nag our husbands to stop using tobacco, we do that just fine on our own,” said Penny Nance, president of Concerned Women for America.

Subsidizing women to nag? Yikes...

McDonalds UnHappy Meal

McDonalds is stuffing a toy in Happy Meals some customers say swears like a Shanghai'd sailor shipwrecked at sea.

To wit, 'what the fuck' followed by 'all be damned' instead of 'para la bukay', 'hahaha' and 'eh eh'.

McDonalds says people mishear the sounds insisting the Minion Caveman speaks 'Minionese'; a combo of Japanese, French, Indian, English, Spanish and Italian.

McDonald's says the toy stays.  Brilliant marketing move or beastly blunder? You be the judge...

Blue State Bust

The USA has record debt, poverty, and 110 million on food aid.

So whose following socialist Greece into the abyss?

#50 ILLINOIS
#49 NEW JERSEY
#48 MASSACHUSETTS
#47 CONNECTICUT
#46 NEW YORK
#44 CALIFORNIA
#42 MAINE
#40 HAWAII
#39 VERMONT
#38 RHODE ISLAND
#37 MARYLAND

What do they have in common other than fermenting fiscal foolery? They're all high tax blue states run into the ground by Democrats...

Slow Sales In PenisVagina, Sweden

Location, location, location are the three pillars of real estate. And nowhere is that lesson learned harder than in Snorrslida, Sweden.

A $47k house has sat on the market for nearly three years. Why? Because Snorrslida translated means PenisVagina.

Real estate agent Henrik Hakansson insists PenisVagina is not the reason. He says it's because the house is rundown.

But confused Henrik added, '...we've sold this house before and we believe we can do it again. It was sold about ten years ago, and back then it was in the same condition as it is today.'

Which begs the question...who buys a rundown house in PenisVagina and expects to sell it ten years later in the same rundown condition?

Woman Ransoms Fetus

Some say the life of a fetus is less compelling than a derived 'right' to kill kids in the womb.

Sound harsh?  Well unless you're a cynic and say a human fetus is just a glob of snot in a sink...it's the brutal truth.

One smart-ass female in North Carolina is daring anyone to pay her $1 million bucks otherwise it's curtains for her little womb-riding tike.

Here's a better idea. The Angle will pay for her sterilization...and not one dime of blood money more...

WiFi Zombie Disease

An English woman insists she has Electromagnetic Hypersensitivity (EHS) - a 'disease' medical science apparently doesn't recognize.

Jackie Lindsay, 50 claims she faces an onslaught from cell phones, radio, WiFi hotspots and her neighbors homes all of which she says bends her over with an anaphylactic shock.

Jackie turned off her house power and uses candles for light and gas for cooking.  Of course she also needs to avoid food with electrolytes...like all vegetables, anything with salt in it, all dairy products and tap water.

When she goes outside she wears a suit and an elephant-man-like-head-cover laced with silver thread. Oh and she carries a hand held EMS tester too.

Wonder if Jackie knows all light is electromagnetic radiation and her head is filled with electro-chemical synaptic neurons?  Ooops.

IUDs For Eleven-Year-Olds

Teen pregnancy? No problem.

Public schools in Washington state are equipping 5th grade girls with IUDs and releasing them back into the wild...

An anonymous spokesperson says, 'a student who does not want their parents to know they are seeking reproductive health services is allowed to apply...using their own income, and if they are insured under their parents’ plan, the insurance would not be billed.'

Can an eleven-year-old or twelve-year-old 'consent' to the insertion of an IUD? Apparently in Seattle it's an uh-huh...

Gay Iwo Jima Flag Raising

Is it wrong to coopt heroic military achievements in the name of political quackery?  You be the judge...

Ten year ago four near naked presumed gay men reenacted the Marine's Iwo Jima memorial by raising a LGBT rainbow flag in the same way the Marines raised the Stars and Stripes on Mt Suribachi. 

No big deal, no one knew except gays.  But the photo has resurfaced after SCOTUS disgraced itself and created a national marriage law.

The photographer Ed Freeman said he never intended the image be disrespectful and said people are just pissed over the SCOTUS decision.

Ed's likely right, but the image is viral now and dead marines can say nothing about it...

Man Makes Cat Bowling Ball

David Hunter Todd, of Edmond, Oklahoma, is sitting in a cell with an animal cruelty beef after allegedly swinging his black cat Luna around like a bowling ball.

A neighbor recorded Todd and called the cops.

When interrogated Todd denied the deed, then viewed the video. Todd quickly confessed, 'I just get frustrated and I take it personally and I know it's not personal, I just snapped.'

Edmond Animal Services officer Cara Drake said the cat had multiple injuries and a head trauma, 'She seemed like she was almost dead.'

PETA has been notified.  Bubba the cat lover, Todd's cellmate has also been informed....