Elderly Food Fight At Early Bird Dinner

The place: Golden Corral in Wilkesboro, NC. The time: 3:45 p.m. The perp: 64-year-old Polly Richards. The victims: 69-year-old Lynwood Moore and another senior standing next to Polly in the buffet line.

Eatery surveillance video shows Richards cussing at Moore before grabbing his shirt and shoving him against the wall. Richards then slapped Moore's face.

Just as Moore realized he was in up to his depends and despite recently loading up on garrison of heart stents Moore said later he feared for his life. Despite his fear Moore defiantly grabbed Richard's arms and pushed her hard enough to drive her fall to the floor.

At that point cops say Richards threw a plate of food at Moore hitting 62-year-old Fay Cardwell seated at a table obviously too close to the action. Cardwell is expected to recover but did receive a knot on her shin and knee from after her own face-plant on the linoleum.

Employees later told the cops the video is misleading. In fact, they say it was Moore and not Richards who started the food fight by jumping Richards in the food line.

The cops discounted the employee witnesses and arrested Richards who offered the officers a summation of her sentiments just as the cuffs were applied, "just take me to the fuckin' jail then."

Richards skipped her jail food though and quickly posted a $1500 bond.  Oh yea, she also got slapped herself with two counts of assault and battery.

Music Teacher Pawns Instruments For Drugs

The decline in public schools is well known and old news.  More and more we see kids in school victimized by a whole generation of degenerates hired to protect them.

Now we have a music teacher selling off school musical instruments to pay for drugs.

NY state police say 32-year-old nerd Danielle Conner-Willowglade admits taking the stuff.  She sits in a cell today arrested along with her boyfriend, 32-year-old Nicholas Bump, her accomplice.

Apparently a trooper noticed a large shiny tuba in the backseat of Conner-Willowglade's car during a traffic stop.

So what gives?  The Angle blames the trend on the degradation of the culture at large thanks mainly to secular-progressive narcissism; an outgrowth from 1960s hedonism.  The 60s dopers became teachers and have spawned a whole generation of character-defective teachers of their own.

Witness the crazy crap coming out of California democrats, the legalize pot movement, the Occupy movement, and role models like Bill Clinton, John Kerry, Al Gore, Obama and Oliver Stone - all of them pot smoking kids who grew up during the 60s.

Anything goes and everything is tolerated with these guys and that attitude is trickling down the legs of the youth of today.

The Avoid People App Debuts

Ya feeling a little xenophobic after a decade of social media apps surrounded you both at home and at work?

Now that your Facebook, Twitter, Foresquare and Instagram likes, follows and geo-locales are full when does your 'alone time' happen?  Well, how about now...

Social media programmer Brian Moore and former Buzzfeed director Chris Baker made careers creating all that familiarity. In a grand gesture of defiance both are now working to untangle that web of close social compaction.

Their new app is called the 'Cloak' and it uses social media itself to create an 'antisocial network' giving you a way to avoid people.

Once activated Cloak locates and put a picture of all pals geographically 'close' to your current location.   Poof.   Now it's up to you to 'get away from there' and fall back into the shadows.

No pressure, man...  The only thing missing is the dagger.

Related
Remembering Greta Garbo
Facebook Adds Facial Recognition

Rapist Killed With Own Gun

The first three rules of guns is to assess the threat, act without hesitation and never turn your back until the fight is over. A 26-year-old New Orleans man (name and race not given), luckily, didn't know the rules.

Police reported the man "approached an adult male and female as they were walking, produced a handgun, and demanded they walk into a building that was being renovated. Once they entered the yard [of the building], the man sexually assaulted the woman, at which time the male that was with her disarmed [the attacker] and fatally shot him."

The presence of a male companion wasn't enough to protect the woman from being raped, but the quick thinking and outrage of the male companion did produce justice in the end.  Poof.  One less rapist, one more reason to conceal and carry.

Related
Prison Pill Stretches Sentence
Diabetics Have Nail Polish Breath

Urban Outfitters Touts Tampon Booze Tubes

How about an irresponsible retailer helping girls sneak schnapps into bars and rock concerts?  Sounds kinda sinister huh folks?

Urban Outfitters makes no pretense about Tampon Booze Tubes. The tiny plastic test tubes wrapped in yellow and green giving the stealthy appearance of name brand tampons.

The pitch is for a $14 pack of five and are said to be ideal for smuggling in the contraband 'because, honestly? Nobody's gonna question tampons.'

Listed on Amazon one drunken customer wrote, 'This is a great idea and I fell in love with the whole concept. What man or (woman) searching your bag will even think twice about what he sees!!! Excellent!'

Great, what are parents supposed to do now?  Hang on Cassandra, what's in your tampons?  Sales must be grim at Urban Outfitters going after the tipsy teen crowd.

Michael Jackson Abused 'Bubbles'

Both Elvis and Michael Jackson are dead. Elvis from an impacted colon and drugs.  Jackson from an impacted psyche and drugs.

But unlike Elvis who collected sheriff's badges and hung out in his bathroom alot, Jackson collected zoo animals and other stuff not fun to mention.

Of all the exotic animals Jackson had caged up on his giant California Neverland Ranch there was one special 'friend' Jackson had roaming around his mansion flinging poop on the walls.  It was a monkey he named 'Bubbles.'

But there was apparently trouble in Jackson land according to Jane Goodall.  You remember Jane.  She's the British primatologist, ethologist, anthropologist, and UN Messenger of Peace who got to know monkeys pretty well flinging poop with them in Africa.

Goodall says she confronted Michael Jackson about his alleged  'physical abuse and beating' of Bubbles and it 'ticked him off. Goodall is handing out flyers to the British press on the subject..

LaToya Jackson's ex-hubby Jack Gordon also says, 'I saw Michael punch Bubbles, kick him in the stomach. Michael used to say, 'He doesn't feel it. He's a chimpanzee. I have to discipline him.'

Jackson sent Bubbles away before he died. Bubbles, now 30, lives in an animal sanctuary in Florida.   Why does anyone care now?  Why not...

Related
Feminist Professor Attacks Pro-Life Student

Hawaii Toughens Dog And Cat Eating Laws

The story is an old one.  One country eats dogs, cats, monkeys, snails and spiders another country is put off their steak, bacon and eggs when they find out about it.

Dog owners in Hawaii crowded a government committee meeting demanding the slaughter and consumption of dogs and cats on the islands cease and desist...  You know, because two whole reports a year surface in regard to the practice.

The Oahu Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals said dogs and cats are considered members of  families.  “Dogs are people too, because they have the ability to experience emotions,” said Honolulu resident Jane Shiraki.  Makes ya kinda wonder what Jane thinks of her human kids huh?

State Rep. Romy Cachola said he sympathized with the bleeding-heart pet owners but still had to ask,
“I cannot understand why we’re doing this."    The 'this' was the barking demand to toughen existing law already in place banning the dining choice. 

The committee could only think to add other pets to the list and close the meeting before the pit bull owners took notice.  We guess those might have included goldfish, hamsters, horses, iguanas, geckos, guinea pigs, rabbits, parrots, ferrets, box turtles, and snakes.

Really folks, who eats their pet parrot?

Related
Ride-A-Hog To Work

Nine Substations To Total USA Blackout

Would you be surprised to discover the entire country can be blacked-out for a whole year and a half should terrorists target just nine out of fifty-five thousand substations in the national electric grid? 

'Destroy nine interconnection substations and the entire United States grid would be down for at least 18 months, probably longer,' wrote Federal Energy Regulatory Commission's director of external affairs Leonard Tao in a June memo made public today.

Worse? Oh yea there is a worse. Nine out of a possible thirty are the key to the disaster.  Protecting all thirty is both an economic and physical impossibility say authorities.

Right now Homeland Security is focusing exclusively on nuclear power plants.  You know, the guys that brought you naked body scanners and pat-downs of the elderly and infirm.

The San Jose, CA attack in April of last year was complete and done with rifles only.  The guys that did it knew how, when, where, and exactly what to do - including cutting the fiber-optic comm lines that let them get away before the cops showed up.

The only real question remaining now is not if, but when.  Incidentally, just a week long nationwide blackout would be enough to destroy whats left of Obama's frail economy.  And force martial law in all the big urban cities.  Still need a reason to get a gun?

Related
USA Hands Internet Control To ICANN

Obama To Lift Transsexual Military Ban

Former U.S. surgeon general Dr. Joycelyn Elders (the goon Clinton appointed in his first term) formed a commission asserting there 'is no compelling medical reason' for the U.S. military to prohibit transgender (trannies) from serving.

 Elders commission further urged Obama to lift the decades-old ban without approval from Congress.

Elders' commission says there's nearly 16,000 such 'transsexuals' already serving in the military, a fact that seems  to elude considering the problems associated with someone sporting both sets of genitalia.

The commission argued that letting transexuals in 'would place almost no burden on the military.'

But Center for Military Readiness President Elaine Donnelly disagrees. She says putting transgender people in barracks, showers and other sex-segregated could cause sexual assaults to increase and infringe on the privacy of non-transgender personnel. Ya think?

Gays serve openly in the military is not going well either. Morale and readiness have been harmed according to a long line of retired brass. Remember, active duty are not allowed to express an opinion that counters the commander in chief.

When did the shortage of able bodied heterosexual men happen, anyway?

Related
Feminist Studies Teacher Accused of Assaulting Teen Prolife Demonstrator
Obama Did Shut Vet Memorials Knowing Vets Were Coming

House Cat Holds Owners Hostage

A Portland, Or couple made a frantic 911 call while trapped in their bedroom claiming to be terrorized by their own giant 22-pound part Himalayan house cat.

Lee Palmer said he kicked the cat “in the rear” to protect his child. Apparently the feline attacked their toddler and Palmer reacted with his foot first.  Palmer said the animal then “just went off over the edge” — leading Palmer and his girlfriend to barricade themselves, their baby and the family dog in the bedroom for safety.

Two days after the cops subdued "catzilla" the family says they'll get therapy for the erratic pet and try to achieve an uneasy alliance and give the cat-shrink a shot.

The story has gone viral and that brought offers from cat lovers worldwide to take the beast off their hands. But Palmer says all he needs is a good emergency backup plan and a pair of really tiny cat handcuffs.

The central question remains who really needs the therapy most; the cat or the family? 

Update 3-19: Violent Cat Gets Animal Shelter Prison Sentence

Related
Teen Torches Mom For Pot Money

Ukraine Cries Foul Will Rebuild Nuclear Arsenal

The USA (Bill Clinton signed), Great Britain and Russia agreed in the 1994 "Budapest Memorandum" to "assure Ukraine's territorial integrity" in return for Ukraine giving up the nuclear arsenal it housed on behalf of the USSR.

Russia broke the treaty and violated Ukraine's territorial integrity. The USA (Obama) and the UK have turned their backs. Ukraine says their side of the agreement is now null and void.  So reenter the nuclear arsenal.

Can you blame them?

"We gave up nuclear weapons because of this agreement," said Pavio Rizanenko. "Now there's a strong sentiment in Ukraine that we made a big mistake."

If and when the Ukraine makes good on their nuclear threat, the little game being played by Obama and Putin will look like a minor marital spat.

Pet Paint Invented

Pet owners are a rascally bunch.  Some people treat their dogs better than their own kids, or other people.  Some even invest in wardrobes and leave their estate to them.

But a new product promises such owners a much quicker way to humiliate themselves and their furry four-legged bow-wows.

After 2 years of research, Abe Geary, 35, from Carpinteria CA came up with PetPaint.

Abe says he got the idea because he was too scardy-cat to blurt out a marriage proposal.  So he looked for a quick way to decorate his dog with the words but came up butkus.

Undaunted, Abe waited to invent the paint himself and schlepped the words 'Marry Me' on his pet Schnauzer - Billie.  Astoundingly his girlfriend (not named Billie) said 'yes' to both him and the dog.

Who stares at their sad-sack poodle and figures a pound of paint will improve him?  Apparently a lot, Abe has a hit on his hands.   It's akin to the 'ink' craze tattooing crap all over the body storing up an end-life of regrets.

Happily the paint washes off  and is biodegradable so the ASPCA, PETA and the EPA are okay with Abe's idea.  In fact, rumor has it PETA has ordered gallons of the stuff....

Related
Student Charged Forcing Beer Into Dog

Rev Wright's Daughter Convicted Of Fraud

The Rev Jeremiah Wright's daughter Jeri Wright has emerged like the kids of other famous race-hustlers, a newly minted convicted felon.

Why is this a story?  Because it's about corruption and power wrapped up in a giant big burrito of race politics and taxpayer cash.  And it hits inside the fellowship ring Barak Obama brought to the presidency.

Remember, like Bill Clinton before him, Obama had baggage he wanted to leave at the airport in Chicago when he ran for the presidency.  For Bill it was the trail of trysts and rumors of rape.  For Obama is was the Rev Wright and his frothing, pulpit-pounding, country-hating sermons that made some of us suspect Obama may not carry the correct set of principles into the whitehouse.

Now we know.  Obama hasn't brought love of country nor competency and character to the job, but it's way, way, way too late now.

Corruption doesn't fall far from the tree of temptation.  Jeri Wright stole money from taxpayer funded poverty projects, and Jesse Jackson Jr. did pretty much the same thing except it was campaign cash.

The irony?  Jeri raided the tax payer funded program 'We Are Our Brother's Keeper.'  Jeri must have misunderstood and substituted 'We Keep Our Brothers Wallets.'

Related
1 In 3 Black Males Will Do Jail Time
Big Black Politicians Fall
Corruption Not Color Blind

Science Patents Orgasm Machine

No gimmick..no snake oil..no shit.  Science took the time to work on an implantable orgasm device for women.  Why?  Who knows but the device may pretty much end the bar scene as we know it.

Smaller than a pack of cigarettes, the 'machine' is implanted in the buttocks.  Electrodes are implanted in the spinal chord and in the 'G' spot.  The rest is pretty simple - squeeze and moan, or if so inclined, squeeze and squeak.  Either way, the middle-man is bypassed - pun intended.

Dr. Stuart Meloy,  a surgeon at Piedmont Anesthesia and Pain Consultants in Winston-Salem, N.C., stumbled onto the idea when he was schlepping around the area when his patient asked, ‘You’re going to have to teach my husband to do that’.”

Of course, only the desperate and courageous need apply.  Remember, this involves sticking wire and current into the spinal chord, and placing another set in the vagina.  There are limits to ecstasy.  Even orgasms courtesy of a butt-mounted appliance and a limited five year warranty have a limited battery life.

If this thing takes off, Bill Clinton is gonna have to find a new hobby.

New York Goes To War Over Charter Schools

Gotta love it folks.  New York's rats nest of left-wing leg-lickers are having their first food fight.

New York City went from bad (Bloomberg) to ya gotta be kidding me (Bill DeBlasio).  DeBlasio is perfect if you want to wipe your city out in a quick hurry.  And already NY governor Andy Cuomo sees a problem.

Cuomo jumped out of his governor's limo yesterday and took to NYC streets alongside charter school parents. Cuomo is taking a public stand against de Blasio for shutting down three of the NYC's most successful charter schools.

It's like watching Hitler goose Himmler at a Nazi party rally.

"We are going to save charter schools, and you are making it happen by being here today," Cuomo pumped the crowd. Wow. Are these two guys playing on the same team? Laughing.

De Blasio called the rallies a "sideshow" and even took a shot at grannie Bloomberg's charter school plan coloring them as "abhorrent."  In real words, the old left-wing-loons idea of a school plan isn't union-disabled enough for the new left-wing-loons idea of a school plan.

California has to be laughing right now. Wait...liberals are humorless and lack the IQ to spot irony remember, nevermind.

Related
Watch Jew Hating Liberal Meltdown Over Israel Vote
DeBlasio Falls To 39% In Polls Already

IRS Lois Lerner Tempts Contempt

Chairman Darrell Issa has a simple job to do now that Lois Lerner showed up and refused to answer questions under a waived fifth amendment she gave up last May 2013 when she gave a speech before Issa's IRS Oversight committee.

Remember Lois?  She was the Director of the IRS Exempt Organizations division and played the pivotal role in denying tax exempt status to a number of Tea Party groups.

Issa correctly and angrily adjourned the meeting after just fifteen minutes but not before Rep. Elijah Cummings made a poopee in his chair.

Cummings is one of the spitting koolaiders in the Democrat Party black caucus. Issa ignored Cummings after he started to rant shutting off his microphone - as well he should.  Cummings is the clumsy clown trying to shield Lerner and others from public scrutiny.  Anyone care to guess why?

We the people want Lerner held in contempt. Let Lois plop her narrow rear in a jail cell so she can better ponder her fate and conclude she needs to cough up the truth regarding her conduct while at the IRS.

The testimony from Lerner is a big deal not just because it's a battle between the evil Democrats and the fumbling Republicans. The scandal sniffs around the insidious edges of big government intimidation and of an out of control IRS that actively preys on citizens and allows political bigotry to affect their conduct.

Related
Dem Rep. Alan Grayson's Restraining Order
Black Chef Who Cried Paula Deen Racism Broke
DNC Delegates Can't Name A Single Benghazi Hillary Accomplishment

Now It's Environmental Racism

The past five years have been a real bitch for the eco-fascists and their quickly eroding support among the general populace.  The reason?  There is no data to back their doomsday environmental meltdown scenarios.  Sorta like an 'inconvenient truth' as Al Gore might say.

So what's left if you just gotta have it your way and you are a frothing, ankle-biting, leg-licking liberal and just won't take no for an answer?  Use the race card, of course.

Pissed off over a bill coming out of the House Energy Subcommittee concerning suggested updates to the 1976 Toxic Chemicals Control Act activists are crying foul.  Why?

Because they want ALL chemicals, even tiny little insignificant ones no matter what the cost to be cleaned up immediately.  And the GOP wants to prioritize and go after the big ugly ones first.

Michele Roberts, co-coordinator of the Environmental Justice Health Alliance pulled out her race card, “This bill harms communities of color disproportionately. Most of these chemicals are either manufactured, stored in, or disposed of in primarily communities of color."

There it is folks. We finally got ourselves a full blown connection between race and the environment now. They got to kill coal, wonder why it took so long to start the race hustle?

Science Invents The 3-D Printed Heart Sack

Researchers at both the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign and Washington University have created a heart bag on a 3-D printer that is keeping a rabbit's heart pumping forever.

It kinda looks like a faded strawberry.

The thin membrane is elastic, designed to stretch over a heart like a condom, and is outfitted with dozens of tiny electrodes that monitor cardiac function.

The science guys say the device won't be ready for humans for another fifteen years. Once fitted it will ensure the wearer gets the jolt in the precise spot when his/her heart tries to quit.

Plus the device comes with an iPhone app so the doctor can take a look see anytime he wants. That's unless Apple computer manages to go out of business before then because the CEO is a Global Warming nitwit.

Isn't that special?

Related
Apple CEO Tim Cook: Global Warming Skeptics Should Dump Stock

Spandex Builds Butt Bras

Girdles were invented to replace the corsets of the 19th century. Girdles gave women the support they wanted, but avoided the gut busting, blood-puddling, cinch-pinch and rib-crushing the old corsets inflicted.

Girdles also addressed the oft flagging thighs women sported preventing them from  slipping into peddle-pushers and skirts that became the rage in the 1950s. When jeans took over in the 60s, girdles were goners.

Spandex wants women back into the game. The undergarment conglomerate launched a $58 ‘Trust Your Thinstincts Booty Bra.'

Spandex insists the garment in simple terms is ‘a bra…for your butt.’  The booty-bra lifts and separates just like the hooter holsters women use to keep the girls dangling in the front from falling to the floor.

Spandex noticed the vanity crowd investing in a record number of 'ass reassignments.'. Spandex thinks their line of ass-slings will make it easier and less costly to accomplish the same thing.

We will see.

Related
Breast Milk No Better Than Formula And Causes Asthma
Bug Eating New Paleo Diet Rage

Planned Parenthood President: When Life Begins Not ‘Really Relevant’

What evil enterprise is setup to kill kids in the womb funded by taxpayer cash?  Planned Parenthood...  Given what goes on inside their butcher shops even the name is a sick joke.

The abortion queen running Planned Parenthood is Cecile Richards. Cecile typifies the cynicism pro-kid-killers routinely embody.  Like the SS running the holocaust camps, Cecile sails through her day detached and insidiously indifferent.

When pressed whether the conundrum over when life begins plays into abortion Cecile snaps: “I don’t know if it’s really relevant to the conversation.”

She lets herself off in the same way Nazi's did during the Nuremberg trials. Cecile insists the purpose of her organization is not to answer a question that “will be debated through the centuries,” but to provide options for pregnant women.

Related
Eugenicists Rejoice: 72% Of Aborted Mississippi Babies Are Black
Girl Scouts Hire Lesbian As Chief 'Girl Experience Officer'