MSNBC Cleans House

MSNBC trails Fox News horrifically so is pivoting away from left-wing quackery and toward hard news.

Melissa-Harris Perry is among the first of such hacks to be shown the door.  Her last appearance on air was right after she defied her bosses and did a show on the Beyonce black panther debacle at the Super Bowl.

Perry whined, “I will not be used as a tool for their purposes, I am not a token, mammy, or little brown bobble head. I am not owned by...MSNBC.”

Eric Holder took to Twitter daftly defending the race-baiting Perry,  “She brought to television voices/perspectives too often unheard/ignored. Truth was her guide.”

Sorry Eric, the 'truth' wasn't central to what you did or anything the "little brown bobble head" did on air, either.

Iowa Arms Kids

Iowa's House of Rep passed a bill last week allowing kids fourteen or younger to handle a semi-automatic handgun, revolver or ammo under parental supervision.

Iowa already lets kids fire rifles and shotguns. But if a tot picks up a handgun it's a felony.

Opponents claim the bill is 'ridiculous' and will lead to a 'militia of toddlers'.

Rep. Jake Highfill says, 'Allowing people to learn at a young age the respect that a gun commands is one of the most important things you can do.'

Notice gun grabbers want kids to learn about sex and abortion as toddlers.  But guns?  The usual crap from the curmudgeons.

Sharpton's Trump Tantrum

Al Sharpton says he'll flee the USA when Donald Trump wins the presidency...he claims fear of being deported.

Maybe Sharpton forgot he owes the IRS millions?

Al could get a big bus and take Michael Moore, Joy Behar, Pelosi, Reid, Obama, Shummer, Sanders, PETA, Penn, Durbin, Wasserman-Schultz, Farrakhan, Streisand, Soros, Boxer, Warren, Whoopie, the Dixie Chicks, everyone in BlackLivesMatter, everyone at NBC, CNN, NYT, Media Matters, DailyKos and Huffington Post with him.

Hillary and Holder have to stay though because Trump is gonna prosecute them while Mexico builds the wall.

NASA's Mystery Space Music

After decades of silence NASA released a 1969 tape from the Apollo 10 mission which recorded 'music' from the far side of the moon.

'You hear that? That whistling sound? Whooooooooo!' one astronaut says. Another answers, 'It sounds like, you know, outer space-type music.' 'Well, that sure is weird music,' the first guy concludes.

The 'music' lasted the whole hour the capsule was on the far side of the moon.

Magnetic field or atmosphere interference? Nope. The moon has no magnetic field and not enough atmosphere to interfere with radios.

The origin of the 'music' remains a mystery.

Man Killed On Facebook

Terri-Marie Palmer, 23, broke down after being convicted for killing her boyfriend Damon Searson, 24, citing his Facebook obsession.

Palmer posted: “He pissed me off sitting on Facebook, completely blanking me when I’m talking to him."

Palmer complained, “Crying myself to sleep for the second time this week and it’s only Wednesday. Thanks Damon. I’m so angry and hurt I honestly want to fucking stab you.”

On August 14, 2015 she stabbed him to death with a butter knife.  She'll serve 12 years before her first parole hearing.  And won't be allowed on Facebook for the rest of her life.

Coach Fired For Race Remark

Indiana basketball coach Vicki Rogers got bounced from her job after a pre-game pep talk pissed off some parents.

One witness said the coach said, “I don’t care what you think about what I am about to say, but you better not go out there and act black like the ghetto girls at Pierre Moran.”

One parent, whose daughter is black, says she fears her daughter will associate “ghetto” with bad behavior and her skin color now.

Despite the team voting to bring the coach back the school says Rogers has to complete a "sensitivity training" before being allowed to return.

Wonder if the race Nazi's will try for a war tribunal verdict on Ms Rogers?

Night Lights Cause Cancer

A new Israeli study concludes artificial light at night (ALAN) causes weight gain and breast/prostate cancers.

The culprit appears to be a disruption of melatonin, a hormone produced by animals and humans to control metabolism and kill cancers.

Nataliya Rybnikova of Haifa University compiled satellite images of ALAN from more than 80 countries.  High obesity and cancer rates correlated in countries with high ALAN.

The takeaway? Get a day job and get your ass in bed by 10pm.

ISIS Dirty Bomb Fear

Back in 2011 Obama pulled US troops handing Iraq to ISIS.  It's Obama's legacy stain wasting US life and treasure.

But the real horror is more insidious.

Last year a suitcase full of nuclear material went missing in Basra leading to the legitimate fear that ISIS took the stuff.

If true, ISIS will no doubt make a dirty bomb.  Possibly the only questions left remaining are when and where, not if...

Student Loan Deadbeats Arrested

The US Marshals Service is arresting people for not repaying their federal student loans.

Paul Aker, left says seven armed US Marshals took him from his house to federal court where he had to sign a payment plan for the 30-year in arrears loan.

The federal government hired private debt collectors who are getting judgements in federal court and getting the US Marshals Service to arrest those who have failed to pay their long overdue loans.

The Marshalls service says Aker isn't the first and won't be the last since some 1200 to 1500 such warrants are already on the books.

No wonder these kids are frothing for Sanders' "free college" bribe.

FCC: Free Speech Dying

FCC commissioner Ajit Pai says free speech is dying.

"Is it unthinkable that some government agency would say ... everything from the Drudge Report to Fox News … is playing unfairly? I don't think so," Pai correctly warns.

Pai points the finger at the left who are more and more ready to squash speech they don't like. 

"Largely what we're seeing, especially on college campuses, is that if my view is in the majority and I don't agree with your view, then I have the right to shout you down, disrupt your events, or otherwise suppress your ability to get your voice heard."

Ironic the once robust defense of free speech at Berkeley has been demolished.  Today's college kids are eager to dislodge, dis-invite, deride, and drive away anyone who challenges their left-wing professors. 

Sex Stops Senility

New science from Coventry University raises hope for those fearing and fighting off senility.

The team rounded up 7000 old-timers ranging in age fifty to eighty-nine years old.  The hapless ancients were quizzed about their sex lives and made to answer number of questions on a series of mental tests.

Men who can still drive Miss Daisy home scored 23% higher than guys retired from grazing in the booty pasture.

And women who reported they can still find the salami did well too.

Researchers suspect sex hormones, like dopamine and oxytocin, are driving brain reward centers during sex leading to longer and stiffer cognitive function.

Bad Haircut Bad Blood

San Diegoan Adrian Blanchce Swain, 29, not pictured left, happily paid barber Manny Montero for a $20 haircut and left a $20 tip.

An hour later, Swain swung back to the shop to complain about the 'do.' When Manny failed to placate Adrian she pulled out a gun and tried to fire three times at the unyielding barber, but the gun jammed.

Montero and co-barber Chris Tatum tackled Swain. Tatum says, 'When she came back in, she did not have the same haircut that she actually left with.'

Tatum said the cops found razors inside Swain's car and had apparently 'shaved her [own] hair'.

Holy crap-on-a-cracker Adrian, you do know it grows back, right?

Adult Diapers Explode

Kimberly-Clark makes the Depend Silhouette disposable diapers for adults. 

As birth rates fall baby-boomers are rolling into old age at horrifying rates.  In a year more adult nappies will be sold than baby poop catchers.

One in three adults—more than 80% of them women—have bladder control issues.   So K-C makes the Poise Impressa which inserts into the vagina like a tampon and promptly pinches off urine.

Ads for the Impressa tout, “lets you laugh without leaks.”
K-C plans to laugh and pee all the way to the bank.

Princeton Professor Arrested

Princeton African-American studies professor Imani Perry contends she was racially profiled, harassed and unjustifiably detained by two white cop

Imani was allegedly doing 67 in a 45 mph zone.  Once pulled-over the officers found she had a suspended license and a warrant for her arrest.

After bailing out Imani jumped on Facebook to text she was arrested for a single parking ticket.  She also claimed she was cavity searched by a male cop.  But the cops say just her pockets were emptied...ooops.

“...this demand for behavioral perfection from Black people in response to disproportionate policing and punishment is a terrible red herring.”

Hey Imani!  There's no such thing as black (or any) privilege to speed, drive on suspended license, and have outstanding warrants.   Get it?

Paris Passenger Hell

Ever get a gut check something pissie is gonna happen on a plane?

Airbus charter flight was at cruise altitude to Paris when a passenger suddenly jumped up, ripped off his shirt, dropped trow and started peeing on another passenger because he couldn't smoke or drink.

In 2011, Gerard Depardieu was on a flight from Paris to Dublin and no toilet on takeoff so he whipped out Mssr Clouseau and unleashed a stream into the center aisle.

Something about Paris gets people urinating in the air apparently.

Teen Pours Boiling Water On Cat

Chicago teen Leon Teague has been arrested and charged with a felony count of animal torture and a misdemeanor count of depicting animal cruelty.

The moron proudly posted a video of the act on Facebook.

“If you think I did it, lock me up, I know the system. If I admit to this, I’m going to jail. Glock Boy MurDoc is my Facebook name and people come in and out of my apartment all the time.”

Leon is gonna get to share a bunk with cat lover Bubba in jail. Posting their first night on Facebook would be a hoot too, doncha think folks?

Poverty Breeds Obesity

‘We were surprised by the lasting impact that one’s childhood environment plays in guiding food intake in adulthood,’ said researcher Sarah Hill, from Texas Christian University.

‘...people who grew up in relatively impoverished environments...have a harder time controlling food intake...than those who grew up in wealthier environments.’

The poor get extra penalized because they eat cheap/bulk foods high in carbohydrates, fats and sugars. And those eating habits die hard.

The really grim part? The link remained regardless of the person’s wealth later in life!    Right Oprah?

Breast Milk Meds

Did you know polio vaccine inventor Albert Sabin proved mice beat polio when fed human breast milk?

Now people are rushing online to buy breast milk for smoothies, skin cremes, acne ointments, contact lens solution, coffee creamer, sunburn lotions, and ear infection salves.

Betcha most will forgo the fad and stick with a little frozen yogurt for the smoothies, saline solution for contact lenses and Neosporin for the ouchies.

3D Printed Bike

A team of students at Delft U in Holland created the world's first stainless steel bike using 3D-printing.

Normally 3D printers build up objects horizontally on a flat surface but these kids added a robotic arm to extrude resin onto horizontal and vertical surfaces!

Called the Arc Bicycle, the high-tech velocipede weighs about the same as a steel-framed bike.

Maybe Amazon can overnight one via drone?

Pot Suppositories

Government 'fixing' social snotballs - good.  Government blocking bong hits - bad.  Right hemp hypocrites?

Weed by any other name is 420, bobo bush, chiba chiba, dinkie dow, gage, hooch, ju-ju, maryjane, reefer, and zambi.  Imbibers are called airheads, potheads, and dingleberrys.

Till now ganja's been smoked, drank, eaten and claimed to cure everything from Alzheimer's to Zoster (shingles).  But the truth is more sinister...

So if pot can cure cancer why not menstrual mayhem?

Fat Barbie Kid Test

Little girls have had a love affair with the thin, long-legged, porcelain skin, long-haired, blond Barbie doll for almost 60 years.

But 'feminists' demanded Barbie reflect 'real' little girls and so the makers widened the line.

Now Barbie comes in black, Asian, brunette, red-head, blue-haired and 'plus sized' complete with stretch marks and bad skin.

Note. Ken is still the same buff, tanned gay blade he's always been...

What do kids think about fat Barbie?  Check the video and find out!