Sex Stops Senility

New science from Coventry University raises hope for those fearing and fighting off senility.

The team rounded up 7000 old-timers ranging in age fifty to eighty-nine years old.  The hapless ancients were quizzed about their sex lives and made to answer number of questions on a series of mental tests.

Men who can still drive Miss Daisy home scored 23% higher than guys retired from grazing in the booty pasture.

And women who reported they can still find the salami did well too.

Researchers suspect sex hormones, like dopamine and oxytocin, are driving brain reward centers during sex leading to longer and stiffer cognitive function.