Hangover Hell Begins At Forty

Twenty-somethings think they're immortal and guzzle brew to prove it.

But the party ends at age forty says science.

Older bodies swap alcohol-absorbing muscle for fatty tissue. The old sack of bones hold less water exaggerating and making the effects of dehydration more pronounced.

And it's dehydration that turns your skull into a ringing bell and the rest of your body into a slogging-Russian-weight-lifter trying to roll out of the sack the next day.

Finally, older people already struggling with sleep issues throw alcohol on brain refusing REM sleep. With less sleep the mild hangover morphs into a massive headache and the brain can't crawl out of it's catatonic stupor as well as it did when twenty.

Got fantasy for your twenty-fifth year class reunion?  Suck it in man, you're gonna end up nursing a single glass of wine all night and lying about your life, not waking up with your face stuck to the sidewalk like you did on Senior Ditch Day.

Party on Garth, party on Wayne, okay...I think I'm gonna hurl, dude...