Scientist Says Bras Are A Bust

Professor Jean-Denis Rouillon works at the University of Besançon in France.  He is a sports science expert and a guy with way, way too much time and grant money on his hands.

But heck, if you're gonna waste time and other people's money why not blow the bucks studying bras and the two things that go into them?  After a long and not so tedious professional career staring at women's boobs Jean-Denis concludes that, yep you guessed it, the bra is a pain in the bust.

Professor Rouillon said: 'Medically, physiologically, anatomically – breasts gain no benefit from being denied gravity. On the contrary, they get saggier with a bra.' (gotta imagine him saying this with a thick French accent to get the full effect).

With the help of a slide rule, caliper, and a steely stare, Rouillon spent years measuring changes in the bearings of 130 women's breasteses.

Capucine (note how people in France often one word names), a 28-year-old woman in the study, says she has not worn a bra for two years and that, 'There are multiple benefits: I breathe more easily, I carry myself better, and I have less back pain.'

If true short sell shares in Victoria's Secret, Playtex, Bali, Barely There, Olga, Lilyette, Glarmorise, and Vanity Fair. And don't ask how the Angle knows so many bra brands - it's just part of the grueling job of researching women's boobs.

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