Eddy's Wildlife Studio in downtown Slater, MO will freeze dry your dead pet. The fee is based on weight but you have to wait a year to get the feckless fur ball back.
And don't expect the stiffened, lifeless frozen likeness to lick your toes or bark and fuss when you come home.
Enter Eddy's quaint showroom and find a scary collection of dogs, cats, a lone iguana and the stray cockatiel or two. There's even a motionless bobcat back in the back but that one was a demo unit, not someones pet.
The process does take one whole year cooling down the carcass in a hulking, freeze-dry metal drum before painstakingly being reassembled, mounted, re-eyed, and returned to their owners.
Most taxidermist shun the trade entirely. They note that unlike a deer, moose, or mountain lion, pet owners become ingrained with every gesture, nuance, poop habit, and sound their deceased dogs made when alive. So a stiffened likeness most often fails to delight.
But Eddy is a master who seems to get it right enough times that his business has never been better. And there is nothing he won't refrigerate. Be it guinea pig, turtle, ferret, field mouse, finch, spider, or snake.
Spider? Now that's ridiculous.