Casket, Cremation Or Liquification

There may soon be a third way to enter the infinite unknown when an old law in New Hampshire is resurrected this week.

The Live Free Or Die state once allowed people to choose liquification over a casket or oven, but tossed the law 2006.  Now some unseemly seniors want the liquiformed law resuscitated.

Ah, but you really want to know now it works, right?  Okay rubberneckers here you go..

The process uses lye, 300-degree heat and 60 pounds of pressure per square inch to dissolve bodies in big stainless-steel cylinders. Once the stew is cooked grandpa is turned into a coffee-colored liquid with the consistency of motor oil and reeking of a gagging ammonia smell.

Given the smell and the probability of thick gooey motor oil-like taffy leaking out of the urn, loved ones will just have to let the factory pour the remains down a drain. 

Bringing home a vessel oozing coffee-colored grandpa, thick as old motor oil and smelling like a month old baby diaper is not only wrong, it's probably immoral.

Sorry folks.