Science says the 'optimal' time for carnal cavorting is very specific.
Allow 23 minutes at 10pm on any Saturday night and make sure to leave the lights on. Do that and you'll achieve maximum effect. Try the same thing on Tuesday and you will sleep alone.
And don't try the dippity-do-dah more than once per week or on some other day. The magic won't transfer.
When couples want to break the routine 19% get a hotel room, 16% do it outside on a lawn chair, 16% drop a bar of soap in the shower, 13% crouch on the couch, and the remaining 10% pretend to be a teenager again and do it in a parked car or on a kitchen countertop. About 1% try doing on a public park bench, but they always get caught and have to pay a fine.
Special circumstances: If retired everyday is Saturday. So the biggest problem is remembering how, why and not really where. Oh joy.
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