John Alleman took the lower road crawling onto a Las Vegas morgue slab with enough cheeseburger clogging his arteries to fell a sub-Saharan Elephant. John was a non believer.
Are the eateries to blame? You know, shoot the thousand calorie burger messengers? No. Alleman killed himself, in fact, he became such a regular at the Heart Attack Grill the company named a line of clothing after him.
But there is a troubling trend among food vendors catering to the calorie crazies. The burger at Heart Attack Grill favored by John Alleman's was called the Quadruple Bypass Burger - a 2-pound pile of plumpish puerile beefburger pocked in charred fat-bumps.
Now Jake's Wayback Burger in Watertown, New York has made the 2,000 calorie 6-pound Triple-Triple a regular menu item. John won't be in for that one.
The burger race is on just in time for the national obesity epidemic - oh joy.