Flu, Diarrhea, Pink Eye From An iPhone

Brace yourselves phobia freaks. The cell phone has a sinister side-effect.  .

Diarrhea, flu, colds, pink eye, and ear infections are lurking on your iPhone.  Spread by spitting while speaking then ricochets to nose-glancing, finger-smearing and hand-gripping.

Apple forbids 'window/household cleaners, aerosol sprays, solvents, alcohol, or ammonia' on an iPhone so few think to clean them. 

Labs testing random cell phones show levels of coliform (fecal matter) contamination far higher than found on doorhandles and toilets of public restrooms.  Some 4,200 units of bacteria was found on a single phone!  Just 10 units will make you sicker than an emaciated patient on a cancer ward!

An extra added bonus?  People bring the disease vectors to bed, set them next to food, sweat on them in gyms, and pass them around in schools. Toddlers love to sit on them and put them in their mouths!

Wanna get sick?  Give your iPhone a big lick before going to bed - you'll wake the next day with a fever and an excuse not to go to work.  Then, you can stay in bed all day playing games on the iPhone!