Choices may include: A. sinking the hussy's watercraft but that could mean prison time B. moving to another spot on the dock but that would mean putting up with harbor wakes C. train your cockatoo to swear like a merchant seaman using the ex's first name - day and night in a cacophony of cussing that can't be curtailed. Bingo!
Lynne Taylor chose option C landing her in court facing a $15 fine for violating an animal noise ordinance.
Kathleen Melker and houseboat hopper Craig Fontaine are giving up. Taylor has the bird cursing Melker and Melker has her cat crossing canals to go after the bird. And the warring houseboats are pissing off the other warf-rats.
Judges in superior and family courts have handed out restraining orders to violators on both sides, even banning Melker’s cat, Pharaoh, from stepping onto Taylor’s deck planking.
Civil libertarian Harvey Silverglate says this is a First Amendment speech issue, “We all have to listen to stuff we don’t like, and you do assume a certain amount of risk when you live across the yard from your ex-spouse...you really can’t make this stuff up.”
The evil effort Lynne made training the bird took seed-piles of patience. And it's paying off in a bounty of cockatoo crap. But it does leave Lynne with a long-term problem once the ex motors off to quieter shores. Even foul-mouthed cockatoos live as long as people.
Still, Lynne may yet get the last word if she releases the aggravating avian back into the wild and it follows Craig and Kathy's motor wake to some other shore. Ah, revenge, a dish best served by a well trained house pet!
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