The ATF has seized a mini-crossbow which fires a toothpick sized dart. The CDC's genetic-predisposition division says the puissance and potency of the darts are palpable.
The CDC says the symptomology include strong guilt-ridden memories of heinous gay acts and worse. The victims germinate a ghastly gaydar and become inescapably drawn to gay bars, parades and bathouses. Some were even picked-up prowling laundermats hunting for women's underwear.
The ACLU, ATF, BLM, CDC, CDL, DOD, DOJ, EPA, FEMA, FBI, ICE and IRS are asking for your help. If you see someone acting queerly call a cop immediately.
The straight you save may be yourself...so far there is no known cure.