800 Pounder Sets Crematorium Ablaze

Southside Cremation Services in Richmond, Va, took delivery of an 800 pound cadaver yesterday morning and began the heavy lifting required to conflagrate the corpse.  

But by noon the horrendous heat generated from flash frying so much body fat all at once was too much for the oversized ovens and the roof exploded in flames.

After the fire dept cleaned up, Southside manager Jerry Hendrix offered the family this consolation prize, “There was no damage to the body that would not be normal; it remained within the retort and we are about to proceed with the remainder of the cremation.”

No roof?  No problem!  The family is gonna get their 100 pound sack of ashes anyway...

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