Psychologist describe five distinct personality types hanging out in the office. Recognizing them and learning how to deal with them may just mean your very survival.
1. The Ball Buster - a person that would stomp-out his/her own mother's guts to get ahead. A kind of Caligula of the cubicles. Stay clear of him/her. Sink back into the business carpet but don't cowl if they come close - when they smell weakness they wade-in for the kill. They don't play team and they don't take prisoners.
2. The Mother Hen - the keeper of gossip and fake shoulder to cry on. Stay clear of her. The game is false trust. Sorta like J. Edgar Hoover - they have a file on everyone so no one can fire them or cross the moat and attack their castle. Don't be fooled by their outgoing manner - it's an act.
3. The Party Hardy - this guy thinks work is an excuse to play. The game is to cruise at low level till each holiday arrives. Then jump into high gear and get others to make asses of themselves at company events. Everybody loves this guy. But don't be fooled. He/she is a parasite riding on others work efforts. When this guy comes by the day is shot - he wants to play not get stuff done.
4. The Gym Nut - here's the hyper-energy drink. He/she runs on dopamine from too much work-out. These people start their day sweating on a treadmill. By the time they get to work, they've already had two bear claws and five cups of coffee. They get all their work done in 30 minutes leaving the rest of the day running circles around you. And still have enough energy at quitting time to ride a bicycle 20 miles home.
5. The Engineer/Nerd - these people smell a little and have food on their desk from last years Christmas party. They are anti-social and sometimes even a little scary. No one understands what they're talking about and most people avoid them unless their work is critical to a deadline. God help you if one of them rises to become CEO of your company. The Big Bang Theory and profanity will replace professionalism.
Play a little game with yourself. See if you can spot these people before they find you. Don't run up and tell them who they are, just sit back and snicker a little swimming in the knowledge that you have them nailed and know exactly how to handle them - or not.
