Seven Reasons Asylums Are Necessary

Just when you thought things couldn't get weirder things took a hairpin turn for the weirderest.  Here find seven (for brevity sake) ways people are ready for the end of the world because when people start to do this stuff we are all doomed anyway.

Bagel head: The Japanese craze requires sitting still for hours on a stool while saline is injected  into the forehead. The swelling persists for a couple of days.  The question is not 'will it hurt' but rather, what for?  Long lines stretching out in Tokyo lined with bagel boneheads anxious to self-mutilate in this way.

The most expensive cup of coffee is made from cat shit: Kopi Luwak comes from civet feces.  The 'privilege' of sucking down a cup of  the rare beverage in NYC is around $30US.

African penis snatching:  Gotta have at least one penis story, right?  Witchcraft is a big deal in Africa and one of the prizes in the witch arsenal is freshly harvested penis.  How is it done...the snatcher uses a taser or something like it to paralyze the victim then the 'act' of castration follows quickly.

Tattoo billboards:  The most famous idiot to turn his face into a porn site billboard is a guy named Billy Gibby.  After covering his face with porn site names the goon changed his name to Hostgator Dotcom. And you thought a little butterfly on your wife's butt cheek was the worst thing you had to worry about.

Barbie is me: Some women have such low self-esteem they use plastic surgery to transform themselves into lifeless looking Barbie dolls and Japanese Anime girls. The most famous is a Ukranian girl who not only carved her face up but spends half a day putting on the right makeup and contact lenses to match.  She spent her life savings on the goofy clothes too.

Russian bear glue sniffers: Bears in the Kronotsky Nature Reserve discovered barrels of aviation fuel and gasoline are easy prey.  The bears are are so addicted to the stuff they no longer forage for food. Sounds like a crackhouse in Detroit, huh.

Fairy followers: The term 'otherkin' refers to the idea one may be possessed by the spirit of a fairy, elf, hobbit, leprechaun, wolf, or name your own schizophrenic fictional character.  Whole cults (like the Wicca) have cropped up in Japan and Europe.  Members are often video game obsessed or indulge in the black arts for fun and joy. If you run across one of these door knobs retreat.  They may not be armed but they could bite you still.

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