2,500 Volt Weed Zapper Hits Market

Electrical engineer and inventor Dr. Mike Diprose has crafted a weed-lethal device 100% effective against the most tenacious tracheophyte (weed).

The good news? The device eliminates toxic, polluting herbicides, and the drudgery of digging weeds by hand.

The bad news? The weed exterminator fires a 2,500-volt charge, the same amperage and voltage used to execute hapless killers in an electric chair.

The death ray attacks the weed's vascular system, boiling water in the plant cells and breaking down cell walls. The unwanted foliage is cooked from the inside out, down to the stem, and out the root chute.

Mike operates his invention wearing thick rubber boots, rubber globes, and a grounding rod penetrating his head.  The lawnmower sized transformer has to be strapped to a hand-truck.

Good thing because a short would raise blood gas temps to 284F - likewise popping the poop chute like a hellfire missile fired from an Apache attack helicopter.

Homeowners or even professional exterminators won't get to buy one.  Instead, Mike is setting a 'licensed' network of factory trained, fearless, and heavily insured professional weed killers with a death wish.

The whole thing conjures images of saucer shaped ships in H.G. Wells War of the World's, doesn't it?  Instead of people getting vaporized, Mike is going after gardens and driveways.