Flavored Farting Shields

One of the last intractable, fractious problems facing mankind is the fetid, foul-smelling, funky evil expulsion of intestinal gas.

But hope is on the horizon and over at Amazon.

From the geniuses at Flat D Innovations comes the Flat D Flatulence Deodorizing Pad.   Other items frequently bought with the pads are a bag of 'Subtle Butt' charcoal filters and year's supply of Preparation-H.

The product does have a few restrictions, so make sure to read and understand the warning labels before placing them in your shorts or panties and close to your ass:
  • Due to health and safety, this item is non-returnable.
  • Doctor-recommended (don't use near open flame).
  • Washable and reusable dependent on severity of incident.
  • Pad is thin and yet covers the majority of the danger zone.
  • Includes double-sided FOUF tape. Farting Of Unusual Force.
And forget asking how we find these things...