Holy Shnikeez! Tiger Woods Dueling Blonds

Recently rumors had Tiger Woods doubling-down on his dead marriage.  The seven-iron stroker allegedly offered a cool $200 million (double the divorce settlement) to 'guarantee' his good behavior provided ex Elin takes him back.

Elin's counter offer of a $350 million buck 'he cheats she scores' prenup clause may still be hovering out there.  Meanwhile, she is apparently okay with public outings accompanied by the extracurricular escapader.

The two were circling each other like a pair of pit bulls snarling over a chunk of road kill.  Only this pile of dead flesh is worth half of Woods' $600 million pile of gold golf balls.

Woods had been busy burning off his bimbo lust since Elin gave him his cart-path papers.  Friends of Tiger say he complains the one-nighters are 'unsatisfying.'  Elin has been busy too, dating a couple of billionaires and an assorted set of second-string tanned six-packers.

Today we find the twitter-verse ablaze with tweets from Lindsey Vonn the World Cup Ski racer.  Lindsey says she and Tiger are sharing Apr├Ęs-Ski brats and beer now. Notice anything suspicious?  Except for the ski poles the two blondes are nearly interchangeable!

Well, the legend in Nike golf shoes better put his big head in charge and fire that other littler head. Next time Elin or whover replaces her will take all his toys if he wanders off the golf course again.. 

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