Gbigs Angle

Guy Invents Yolk Yanking Thingamajig

Need to get the yoke out of a dozen eggs to make a meringue, mousse, souffle. creme brulee. chipotle mayonnaise, custard or sponge cake?

Meet the New Zealand mechanical engineer Hamish Dobbie who took a crack at making a better yolk-trap after he watched his struggling gal pal adding more shell than egg white to her recipes.

'After making a real mess, and having to dig egg shells out of the bowl, she said that there must be a better way of doing it,' Dobbie narrated.

Ten months later Dobbie did it, he made the YOLKR. And he's gonna let you get one for a paltry £18 ($28.18).

Dobbie added: 'The trick was getting the shape of the nozzle right so it didn't break the yolk when it was sucked up.' So if you need to suck up a bunch of egg yolks and leave the whites behind move to New Zealand and get one of these goofy gadgets - your egg eating public will be glad you did.

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Bacon Flavored Milkshakes At Jack-In-The-Box

Jack In The Box takes no prisoners and makes no apology - it's about feeding the insatiable, gluttonous, gobbling masses.

The marriage of salty, high-fat, nitrite-laced carcinogenic, high-cholesterol bacon dumped into a white-sugar-loaded, high-fat, artery-clogging, high-calorie milkshake is the chain's newest gift to the gargantuans.

Strap the cup-o-pork on in two sizes, the larger jamming 1,081 calories, 37 grams of saturated fat and 108 grams of sugar into your diabetic future.

As bad as this thing is, it pales compared to other fat-body menu items at the eatery. The company's large Oreo shake, for instance, packs more than 1,400 calories and 75 grams of fat. Why not order two?

Jack In The Box wasn't first. Denny's has been feeding the unsuspecting public the same thing since last April. Where's Michelle Obama? Oh yea, she's in Ireland dragging her two brats around staying in $80,000 a night hotels.

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Israeli's Invent Wound Welding Torch

An Israeli medic has invented a painless welding torch that replaces stitches, staples and sticky tape today used to close surgical wounds. Scars and infection become non issues for the tissues too.

A clinical trial just completed involving three c-sections requiring standard eight-inch bikini-line slices were welded shut using the IonMed's bio-plasma-torch. Six-months later there's no trace of the surgery. It's way way cool folks.

The device is called BioWeld and works off the same principal as a plasma welding and cutting torch used in the semi-conductor industry. The main difference is the skin never gets heated over 40C and the 'glue' used to make the weld a simple sugar-based compound.

The torch kills bacteria, encourages vessel growth. leaves no scar and most importantly is done in under three-minutes without special training.

Don't be shocked an Israeli company came up with this cracker-jack device. Pound for pound Israel is home to more biotech than any other country on Earth.

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iPhone Masturbation App Debuts In NYC

What's left for the iPhone?

How about an app with a timid female voice over a stream of pictures depicting pertinent parts of the female hoozie-woozie carefully verbalizing instruction on the ancient and whispered art of auto-erotica for females?

In other words, here you go ladies - time to stop texting and start diddling.

NYC-based designer Tina Gong (how about that for a name for a masturbatory guru?) is behind the 'software.' The salacious gem euphemistically entitled 'HappyPlayTime.' The branding pitch billed as a fun way for girls to 'learn techniques and facts about getting off'.

'The app's...a quick demonstration of different masturbation techniques for each level, followed by a freestyle portion...' Sounds more like training for the sex Olympics.

See where this is going? Commuter trains filled with smartphones buzzing and women in business suits writhing - 'oh God, oh God' from coast to coast, before, during, and after work.

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Mother Hits Son In Middle Of Anger Management Class

Misty Lawson, 30, of Louisville, KY was arrested after punching her pre-pubescent son while both were attending an in-home anger management counseling session.

Ms Lawson confessed she 'smacked' her son twice but 'only' because the 10-year-old called her a 'bitch.' Rationalizing the violence, she added 'They make it sound like I beat my child like an adult.'

Not her first arrest, in June 2011 Lawson was arrested for allegedly leaving her kids in a hot car outside a grocery store. Misty has also been arrested for pot, resisting arrest, receiving stolen property, and contempt of court.

Lucky for her two sons authorities have taken them from her. Mom is a mess.

Hey Misty...TEN YEAR OLDS ARE NOT MEN. Being called a bitch by a child isn't an insult, its a childhood behavior problem a healthy 'adult parent' would deal with, not get violent over.

Wonder if Misty can guess who her sons mimic when they misbehave?

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50MPH Jet Bicycle Death Trap

The Angle's dumbshit of the week award goes to a 32-year-old Brit plumber named Colin Furze.

Colin sets speed records on little piles of junk. For example, he holds the record for World's fastest powered wheelchair scooter.

So to top the scooter Colin grabbed his mother's ancient Rayleigh pushbike and strapped a jet engine on the rear. The pushbike is a kind of 1950s version of an old fat-tire Schwinn girls bike.

The rickety frame was extended a bit so the jet engine didn't cook Colin's ass when he mounted it for a ride. That's the smart part of Colin's design. The grim part is crafting a home-built jet-cycle from an old bicycle that makes the idea a fatality waiting to happen.

Oh, and an extra special twist is that Colin gets going up to 50mph in his street clothes without helmet or boots.

What else did Colin do to get an entry in the Guinness Book? Nothing much, he just built the World's largest bonfire in his backyard.

For Colin the future's all laid out. Sorta like when Steve Irwin the Aussie wildlife guy and crocodile wrangler jumped into the water that one last time and got zapped by a stingray waiting to happen.

8th Grader Arrested/Charged For Wearing NRA Tee-Shirt

While Obama and Napolitano are failing to protect the country from terror bombers and wasting time and money frisking fragile old ladies in airports the knee-jerks in the schools are likewise harassing innocent students and violating civil rights.

Fourteen-year-old Jared Marcum is a victim of the fascist mood in his school this week. He made the mistake of wearing a tee-shirt with an NRA slogan and a hunting rifle on it. Just the image of the hunting rifle made his bullying liberal teachers go weenie.

The West Virginia Logan County School District's dress code policy prohibits profanity, violence, discriminatory messages but says nothing about gun images. Yet that didn't stop the errant teacher and the misguided administration from kicking Jared out of school and having him arrested on charges of obstruction and disturbing the education process.

"I never thought it would go this far because honestly I don't see a problem with this...especially when policy doesn't forbid it," Jared said.

Jared's dad Allen Lardieri says he's pissed that he had to rush from work to pick his son up from jail. "He did not violate any school policy," Lardieri fumed. "He did not become aggressive."

In fact Jared is a good student. His record was spotless, until now.

Once the DA refuses to pursue the bogus case against Jared the family have themselves a fun, fat easily winnable law suit against the school district. On what grounds? How about false arrest, wrongful suspension, violation of 1st and 2nd amendment civil rights, harassment, loss of pay, intimidation, and malfeasance in office - for starters.

Update 6-16: DA Wants Jared In Jail

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Conservatives Have Better Sex Than Liberals

Liberals and conservatives agree on nothing and fight about everything. This time, conservatives get to crow - they have better sex.

MatchDotCom Singles in America polled 5000 singles who revealed that although conservatives have less sex than liberals, they orgasm 99% of the time, compared to just 40% for the lame liberals.

The disparity centers on how liberals versus conservatives select mates

Liberals are more shallow, and less analytical choosing people based on clothing, looks, and food preferences. Conservatives, instead, look past the shell in search of a compatible and mature commitment to a long-term relationship.

The blood-feud between liberals and conservatives will never end. And for good reason, liberals are rascals, and conservatives are the salt of the earth. Can you believe the antics of Bill Clinton, Tony Weiner, John Kennedy and John Edwards? Wow.

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Virus Alert: 'Highlander' Eats Everything Again

The internet, cell phones, anything that communicates and runs software are all under constant assault from the evil hacker cult.

An insidious virus called 'Ainslot.L' logs your online activities, steals bank information, downloads malicious software, seizes complete control of your computer, and makes sure it has no competition by wiping out any other virus already on your system.

Hence the nickname 'Highlander' - there can only be one!

The nasty package is also a 'bot'. Highlander adds your machine to its worldwide 'botnet' thus stealing your broadband bandwidth too.

There's hope for the prepared. Highlander arrives in an email which claims to be from a clothing company called CULT.

The CULT email pretends you have placed a $320 order. Then tries to intimidate by claiming the invoice amount will be charged to your credit card unless you respond. Clicking the embedded link in the message triggers a download of the malicious code.

WARNING: NEVER open an email from unknown senders. NEVER click on a link in an email unless you know the sender and the link-target-site. NEVER click on a link on a web page unless you know the target-site. NEVER open an attachment unless you know what's in it.

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PETA's Persistent Pornography Pitch

PETA has a well deserved reputation for pomposity, hysterics and puerile howling.

Whats the beef? Brit ex-pat Ingrid Newkirk has a hard-on for humans. The agitated animal activist has morphed into a kind of Hugh Hefner of the go-meatless world.

In fact Newkirk cooked up the slogan, 'animals are not ours to eat, wear, experiment on, or use for entertainment.'. So obsessed with her self-appointed Christ-like mission to place animals above humans, Newkirk once proclaimed, "We are complete press sluts," she told The New Yorker in 2003. "It is our obligation."

Ingrid admits she whores for press attention and specializes in the use of naked women and absurd analogy to push her foolishness.

Ms Newkirk's latest installment is a poster of four former Miss USA's naked, breast and muff cupping, stooped over the purportless punch-line, 'Feel beautiful in your own skin, and let animals keep theirs.'

Peddling soft porn and denuded women is a PETA trademark. Ingrid insists there's an analogy between the skinning of animals and the skinning of humans. As if anyone would want a pair of chest hair ear muffs.

If fur coats are the problem, why go after men with suggestive images of naked women? Oh yea, Ingrid still thinks men are in charge. Yet another delusion Ingrid suffers under.

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World's Biggest Camera Has 6-Foot Tall Negatives

Why make a camera that's 12-feet tall and 35-feet long?

So you can make a negative that's 6-feet tall. Ah, but you keep asking, why make such a big negative? So you can make a building sized photograph with a 1:1 astonishingly detailed print.

Dennis Manarchy created the 'Eye Of America' to photograph the faces and history of vanishing U.S. culture.

A perfectionist at heart, and a famed photographer who wants to create 24-foot tall 'perfect' black-and-white photos of the lucky few he chooses to represent the varied cultural elements of the USA.

Dennis will cover 200,000 miles and all 50 states. A full10-years on the road.

There are other efforts to preserve whats left of the evaporating US culture. All of WWI and the Civil War are of course gone, but soon so will WWII, settlers in the East and West, American Indians, Eskimos, Cajuns, old miners from the west all soon to forever be gone.

Imagine these gigantic portraits on buildings instead of the hideous graffiti 'art' and banal billboard advertising that pollutes structures now?

Obama's EPA Shipping Coal To China

When in San Francisco last year Barry was overheard to crow he would kill the coal fired energy plants in the US.
Obama's EPA has almost finished the job.

Were it not for fracking and the natural gas boom utility bills would already be up 100%. Guess what? Obama wants to kill fracking too.

Sierra Club's Michael Brune is running around with an erectiong these day, he notes the EPA “will make it nearly impossible to build a new coal plant.”

Guess what Mikee? Coal jobs and unscrubbed coal burning is moving to China. And they don't care about CO2. You won!

Obama says he's coming out with a brand new set of environmental alarmist crap in July. Brace yourselves folks.

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Meth: Aryan Nation Partners With Black Gangs

Richard Tries, 38, a member of the Aryan nations, teamed up with Robert 'Biz' Swinney, 22, hardcore gang-banger become business partners

Tries is a hardened white racist, and Swinney a hardened black gang member. Killing each other would be the norm, but when it comes to big money, small feuds fade.

The 'operation' divides labor between supply and processing. Profits split 50/50. Swinney sold large quantities of pseudoephedrine to Tries who then cooks up street meth to sell back to poor blacks for big bucks.

Federal law restricts the amount of cold medicines (source of pseudoephedrine) bought in a 30-day period. Swinney employed homeless, gang members, anyone who'd buy their quota of the over-counter product for a buck.

The bust proves blood enemies will team up when drugs and money can be made. If a dimwitted gang banger like Swinney can game the law, then the law obviously is a joke.

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Bill Maher Calls Sarah Palin's Kid A 'Retard'

Bill Maher crafted a whole cottage industry out of head-in-ass commentary.

And he has a hard-on for Sarah Palin. It's like the guy fantasizes about her day and night. A kind of hobbit faced, greased-back, beaked-nosed, libbie stalker.

Maher was doing some of his lame stand-up in Vegas over the weekend when he resorted to calling Sarah Palin's Down's son Trig 'retarded.'

Sarah was informed of the comment by a reporter who was in the audience.

Pissed and justifiably outraged Sarah fired off a tweet to Maher: 'Hey bully, on behalf of all kids whom you hatefully mock in order to make yourself feel big, I hope one flattens your lily white wimpy a#*.'

So far silence from the pucker-mouthed coward. Maher was the reason bullies picked on nerds in his high school.

'Bill Maher feels he can get away with such jaw-droppingly offensive verbal attacks on Sarah Palin because virtually the entire media-academia-entertainment complex agrees with him,' Matthew Vadum, editor at the Capital Research Center in D.C. said. 'Clinging to their political correctness and disdain for her quintessentially American values, the left-wing cocktail circuit regards Palin as a punch line.'

So what? Oh yea, we are talking about liberals now. You know, the hypocrites that love to hate and pretend the burbling in their addled minds is intelligent observation.

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Obama Bites Into Syrian War

Well, it's finally happening. Obama's fourth tidy little war is Syria.

Syria has a hot sectarian and religious war going where already 100,000 are dead and 2 million shoved out of their homes and country. Syria is not just a civil war though, it's smack-dab in the middle of Muslim central.

When Obama gets there he won't just be shooting the shit out of Syrian's, he will eventually be facing Russian, Chinese, and Iranian hardware too.

Basically it's Obama's biggest mistake yet.

Barry is gonna send arms to the Syrian Rebels who are unabashed allies of Al Qaeda. And he's going to start blowing $50 million a day running a no-fly zone over the war-torn region. Update: 6-15 Obama backs off no-fly zone. .

Of course assholes like RINO Johnny McCain are happy. And of course, Obama's standard bot supporters have to be peeing in their designer Levi's wondering what the hell happened to 'their' president. First Gitmo doesn't close, then dead unsupported ambassadors in Libya (another of Obama's tidy little wars), then the government spying and IRS targeting, and now this.

No need to get into all the crazy cross-currents and details. Heck, if Obama voters wanted this they would have elected McCain in 2008.

Remember, the wildcard is Iran. And with this move Obama is taking military action against the proxy forces Iran supports in Syria.

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Yale University's Eugenics Program

Eugenics is a discredited, deleterious, defunct social movement.

The concept emerged during the second world war when Adolf Hitler launched a program to 'breed' Aryan supermen. Hitler's idea gave birth to a state-sanction 'racial hygiene' program that involved purging 'mongrel' human characteristics in order to get a Nietzsche Übermensch.

Eugenics was widely popular in the early decades of the 20th century. Famous Eugenics advocates dating as far back as 1910 were Winston Churchill, George Bernard Shaw, Margaret Sanger, Alexander Graham Bell, and the Darwin brothers.

And by 1940, Yale University?

Yale offered to evacuate the kids of Oxford University staff in 1940. The motive clouded in the possibility that a sinister Eugenics plan was at the root of the exodus.

Eugenics advocates at the university may have extended the invitation because they planned to repopulate a holocaust in Britain with a replacement race of intellectually superior children.

The 'Yale Faculty Committee for Receiving Oxford and Cambridge University Children' invited and received 125 Oxford kids and 35 mothers. The group sailed the SS Antonia from Liverpool to New Haven, CT on 8 July 1940.

Gaddis Smith, Emeritus Professor of History at Yale, describes Yale's president James Angell, who ruled in 1937, as 'a fanatic eugenicist in the worst meaning of that word.' And that once the group arrived, there was a 'concern' that one of the mothers was Jewish.

How do 'intellectually superior' liberals advocate such sinister and freakish ideas? Oh, they think they're superior, remember.

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Primer: How To Spot Left Wing Media Bias

Liberal bias is reflected in a conscious choices by reporters and editors to spin the facts.

The left-wing isn't interested in the public's trust or often not even the facts. They are the useful set of idiots for the Democrats.

But that's ending. The Internet is the new printing press. The monopoly of the left wing media is crumbling and there's no excuse for getting thee to a reliable news source.

As you read or listen to media pundits test the content using the following listed ways the nefarious knuckleheads routinely use to misguide and misdirect.

Teacher Victim Of Domestic Violence Fired

The Sandy Hook shootings are producing panic and fear in both public and private schools nationwide. Irrational fear filling gun grabbers is even producing crazy toy gun buybacks. And now there's fear of teachers with families in turmoil.

Second-grade teacher Carie Charlesworth is a 14-year veteran of the San Diego Diocese school district working at the Holy Trinity School. But today she is fired. Not for her conduct or comments but because her ex-husband is an asshole threatening her, her kids, and anyone who might get in his way.

Charlesworth's ex is a convicted domestic violence felon whose been showing up at the school despite court issued restraining orders requiring him to stay away. The last time he showed up the school went into lock-down.

The diocese sent a letter to Charlesworth stating her ex-husband's "threatening and menacing behavior," means they "cannot allow" her to continue teaching at the Holy Trinity School.

Charlesworth has four kids also attending the Trinity School. All, including her kids have been ejected from the facility. Not only is she out of work, she is banned from teaching anywhere in the Diocesan system.

Several parents at Holy Trinity said the district did the right thing in a no-win situation because they feared for the safety of their own children. Several parents mentioned being part of a movement to “pull kids out of the school” if Charlesworth returned.

Smacks of the Salem witch trials huh folks? Whatever happened to Christian compassion and coming to the aid of innocent women and kids? The Angle guesses Catholics don't roll that way. Oh well.

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Cancer Death Rates Unchanged In 50 Years

Cancer is the big 'C'. Despite daily 'breakthrough' stories, the overall death rate from cancer hasn't changed in the 50 years.

Cancer is 'smarter' than science.

"We truly grossly underestimated the cleverness of cancer," says Ralph deVere White, director of the U.C. Davis Cancer Center.

"Cancer is hundreds if not thousands of different diseases," says David Weinstock, of Harvard's Dana-Farber Cancer Institute. "Saying, 'Why don't we have a cure to cancer,' is like saying, 'Why don't we have a cure to infection.'"

Killing cancer cells involves killing healthy cells. Chemo-therapy is really the use of cell-killing toxic chemicals applied in a 'shotgun' approach. Sorta like shooting a housefly with howitzer cannon.

The final solution is still decades off. And will require the kind of genetic engineering and gene therapy that may also lead to elimination of disease prenatally. Cure cancer before a person is even born!

The Last Alarm Clock You Will Ever Own

Can't get your ass out of bed? Here's an overkill product guaranteed to keep you sleepless...

The Ramos Alarm Clock was invented by Paul Sammut.

The clock can't be turned off unless you physically walk across the house and find the wireless panel to enter a PIN code you set yourself.

Oh sure you reduce the walk by placing the wireless panel next to your bed, but you still have to finger the keypad in the darkness to enter the PIN code.

Paul anticipated the vapid riser. The clock can be programmed with multiple PIN codes. You will stand dumbfounded in front of the wireless panel trying to remember all the PIN codes while the clock buzzer wakes you, everyone else in the house and possibly half the neighborhood too.

The clock has a lock-down mode that prevents tampering 'till within 30 minutes of wake-up time. The only way out is to not buy the product in the first place.

An added bonus requires the user to enter the date each day. Apparently Paul wants you to play slave to the clock - you are being punished for your nasty habit of sleeping in all those years.

One more thing, Paul says he did incorporate a 10-second 'snooze' feature that turns the alarm buzzer into a civil defense siren. Paul calls it his 'kindness' feature!