The G-Spot Shot

What?  You haven't heard about the G-Spot shot yet?

Man's Woman's quest to reach earlier, easier, longer, and lasting orgasms are all the rage in the age of no holds barred slide-the-salami recreational sex.  And just when you thought women were getting their fill along comes another kind of injection that promises to hoist coitus to cumulus cloud level.

The collagen expander shot.

The $1300 buck lunch-break collagen jab temporarily stretches the G-spot's from barely there to pert and prominent . Once primed women claim the illusive coital crescendo comes quickly, cleanly even too easily. 

Naturally the land of Loonie Tunes where lava lamps, Lamborghini's and liposuction are as common as a heat lamp in a hot house, Hollywood is crazed with the climax booster.  Women are rushing to the Vaginal Rejuvenation Institute of America on Sunset in West Hollywood for their fun fix.  Over 2000 are regular - you see this requires a monthly booster shot, but heck, money isnt tight, right?

Like any infomercial, this one needs a testimonial too.   Caroline Cushworth, location not divulged quizzed her boyfriend about the idea.  After pondering the question for 2.5 microseconds the muddled male nodded and opened up his wallet.  'That first time, the whole thing was so intense I was actually a bit scared. I was so overcome, but thankfully the intensity is something I've got used to. I still have multiple orgasms every time I have sex, but they no longer leave me flat on my back.'

Well there you have it.  Go get 'em ladies.  Oh, and make sure you got yourself a guy that has the stamina of a high paid porn penis or the fee and formation will fall on fallow ground.  And you will be left with dragging a dildo over the area from dusk to dawn and developing a freakish tennis arm, instead.

Coronary Burger Battles Broaden

There are two ways to go when one day you wake up with flabanus maximus (fat ass).  Get on a serious diet and lose the lard or defy sage advise and become a regular customer at the Heart Attack Grill.

John Alleman took the lower road crawling onto a Las Vegas morgue slab with enough cheeseburger clogging his arteries to fell a sub-Saharan Elephant.  John was a non believer.

Are the eateries to blame?  You know, shoot the thousand calorie burger messengers?  No.  Alleman killed himself, in fact, he became such a regular at the Heart Attack Grill the company named a line of clothing after him.

But there is a troubling trend among food vendors catering to the calorie crazies.  The burger at Heart Attack Grill favored by John Alleman's was called the Quadruple Bypass Burger - a 2-pound pile of plumpish puerile beefburger pocked in charred fat-bumps.

Now Jake's Wayback Burger in Watertown, New York has made the 2,000 calorie 6-pound Triple-Triple a regular menu item.  John won't be in for that one.

 The burger race is on just in time for the national obesity epidemic - oh joy.

Kid Gulps 42 Fridge Magnets In 42 Seconds

An unnamed Russian mommy left her 16-month old in the kitchen for less than five minutes, but that's all it took.

When she got back she went спятивший (Russian for crazy).  The toddler swallowed nearly nearly 50 magnetized chotskies covering her refrigerator in as few seconds time.

The manic-stricken mom piled the kid into the Lada Granta and got her to a local clinic.  The x-ray lit up like a slot in a Vegas casino.

The little magnetron needed specialists.  In short order surgeons at Chelyabinsk Oblast Children's Hospital were plucking the novelties from the kid's gut.

Chief pediatric surgeon Nikolay Rostovtsev said he had never seen anything like 42 magnets in a colon before, the prior record was 20.

Sounds like the Russians should stay away from magnetized fridge festoons.  And build moats around their refrigerators.

Ann Coulter Destroys Piers Morgan

Liberal males are emasculated shells - Piers Morgan is a British version of one.  Most of them bent over to political correctness long ago. Few can articulate the arrogant incongruity in the feminized farceurs better than Ann Coulter.

Listen carefully to the video below.  Morgan patronizes Coulter and gets his boxers yanked down around his ankles.  Morgan is left sniveling, grumbling, and talking to himself at the end.

Ann is the cutting edge blowing the lid off liberal word policing.  Left-wingers practice the fascism of word-demoralization because they can't win the debate on merit.  As Ann would say 'screw them' if they can't take the heat.

Coulter is a heroine of the first order and far more intelligent than Piers Morgan.   Morgan, Chris Mathews and Bill Maher are Neanderthals compared to Ann.  Wait.  Morgan, Chris Mathews and Bill Maher are Neanderthals.

$7 Million 'Popcorn Lung' Payout

Frivolous or fair?  You be the judge.

Wayne Watson, 59, from Colorado, came down with lung cancer in 2007. Dr. Ceclie Rose asked him if he ate microwave popcorn.

Shocked, Wayne said he was hooked on the stuff.

So Wayne sued the King Scoopers supermarket where he shopped and the maker of the popcorn (not named).

In the trial, his attorneys argued that supermarket and popcorn maker needed to put warning labels on the product so sloths like Wayne can be steered to other snack foods and not the one that he thinks gave him his lung cancer.

Countering his claim, lawyers for King Soopers wondered if Watson's career selling carpet cleaning fluid may have led to his lung condition instead. And it turns out Wayne's popcorn quantity consumption numbers were also exaggerated.

Unfazed by the lack of scientific evidence, Wayne's hazardous occupation risks, and Wayne's quantity misstatements the jury found in favor of the popcorn addict and handed him a cool $7.2 Million bucks.

Where did Dr. Ceclie get her learned perspective on the subject? In 2007 she wrote letters to the to the federal government detailing this case and is apparently now a crusader on the subject. But is there any science to back her ideas? No. Has the FDA, OSHA or CDC put out a warning on popcorn lung cancer? No.

What else ya got Ceclie?

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Study: Fat Faced Men Are Racist

The era of racism is upon us and so science is hot on the trail unmasking the vermin before they have a chance to breed.

Remember, a racist is below a pedophile, serial cop killer, wife beater, drug dealer, gang banger, extortionist, suicide bomber, rapist, armed robber, crack addict, hate monger or vegetarian.  At least that's how the race-hustlers peddle and proliferate their poppycock.

Eric Hehman at the University of Delaware did a study he says proves men with faces wider than higher ratios (fWHR) are more likely to be dogged, recalcitrant, relentless, reckless racists than men with not wide faces.

Hehman's theory insists fat-faced males are hyper testosterone cases thus prone to aggressive behavior. Aggressive behavior is associated with brutish, beastly, boorish, racist monsters, of course.

Other researchers seemed to divert from Eric's indictments surmising the wide-short faced guys are really independent thinkers who resists political correctness and simply say what they think, even if it sounds bad.

How many remember the Nazi's Eugenics studies? Nazi's claimed face shapes proved who was not 'aryan' enough.  Are the liberal academics trying to repeat history?  And what  happens to the fat-faced guys once they are tagged and bagged?

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Fat News Reporter Gets Apology

Remember the Randy Newman song short people are...?  Left-winger Randy is allowed to poke fun at people because only liberals are allowed to denigrate people.

WKBT anchor Jennifer Livingston is a TV news whale.

A viewer wrote a letter complaining that Livingston was not a 'suitable example for this community's young people' - particularly girls - because her 'physical condition hadn't improved for many years'.

The letter went viral.  Livingston got defensive.  The station gave her air time to call the guy a 'bully.'

Jenny chose to deflect rather than fess up and admit to her rotund reporting.  The road to thinness begins by serious self-appraisal and honesty.

The truth is fat people, not just those a little overweight, but sloven blubber-butts are a pathetic manifestation of gluttony.  Why coddle or cut them a break?  Excuses such as big bones, or over active glands, or astrological predestiny are myths.  You are fat because you CHOOSE to eat too much food.

Remember, people can't help being short, but they CAN stop the face food frenzy.  Right Randy?  Oh yea, the letter writer has since apologized to Jenny so she can go on being a fat-body now unfettered.

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Cussing Cockatoo Valentines Revenge

What's your solution when an ex-husband starts to fill the bait jar of the floozie living in the houseboat next slip?

Choices may include:  A. sinking the hussy's watercraft but that could mean prison time B. moving to another spot on the dock but that would mean putting up with harbor wakes C. train your cockatoo to swear like a merchant seaman using the ex's first name - day and night in a cacophony of cussing  that can't be curtailed. Bingo!

Lynne Taylor chose option C landing her in court facing a $15 fine for violating an animal noise ordinance.

Kathleen Melker and houseboat hopper Craig Fontaine are giving up.  Taylor has the bird cursing Melker and Melker has her cat crossing canals to go after the bird. And the warring houseboats are pissing off the other warf-rats. 

Judges in superior and family courts have handed out restraining orders to violators on both sides, even banning Melker’s cat, Pharaoh, from stepping onto Taylor’s deck planking.

Civil libertarian Harvey Silverglate says this is a First Amendment speech issue, “We all have to listen to stuff we don’t like, and you do assume a certain amount of risk when you live across the yard from your ex-spouse...you really can’t make this stuff up.”

The evil effort Lynne made training the bird took seed-piles of patience.  And it's paying off in a bounty of cockatoo crap. But it does leave Lynne with a long-term problem once the ex motors off to quieter shores.  Even foul-mouthed cockatoos live as long as people.

Still, Lynne may yet get the last word if she releases the aggravating avian back into the wild and it follows Craig and Kathy's motor wake to some other shore.  Ah, revenge, a dish best served by a well trained house pet!

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Brain DNA Of Liberals And Conservatives

The brains of liberals and conservatives are different due to DNA.   

Cognitive neuroscientist Ryota Kanai of the University College London found  liberals tended to have larger anterior cingulate cortex, a region of the brain linked to ambiguity.

Conservatives have a larger amygdala, an area linked with disdain for lying and malicious disinformation.

The idea that liberals are doomed to develop the earmark deficiencies of hypocrisy, selfishness (narcissism), irrational/impulsive thinking, and conspiracy theory are a grim prognosis at best.

But it does explain how nature can produce anomolies like Chris Matthews, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, and John Edwards.

Woman Overdoses On Coca-Cola

But ya gotta drink 2-gallons a day.  And if your doing gallons of Coke a day you no doubt have a lot of other really serious problems too.

The luckless 30-year-old Coke addict  Natasha Harris of Invercargill, New Zealand, succumbed to tachycardia arrhythmia. In other words her heart was pounding faster than a car driven by a boozed-up blind man on a busy street.

Natasha knew she was in trouble, though. She tried to quit before but ended up with serious tremors, palpitations, mood swings, night sweats, and sometimes high-velocity vomiting like the possessed girl in the Exorcist movie.

Coke in New Zealand denies culpability. Formerly stating, 'Therefore we are disappointed that the coroner has chosen to focus on the combination of Ms. Harris’ excessive consumption of Coca-Cola, together with other health and lifestyle factors, as the probable cause of her death.'

Pouring a snot-load of sugar down your gut daily will liquify your pancreas and keep your nervous system on red-alert.  Still, Coke didn't do it, Megan did.  And she paid the ultimate price for her lack of self-control. As we all must.

Student Sues Professor For C+ Grade

Once upon a time in America people assumed that to get ahead one needed to work hard, be smart and accept success with grace. But if things didn't work out one needed to self-assess and work harder.  Not sue someone for personal failure.

But in the age of 'entitlement' and 'race card' excuse making, bullying, and going to court are the new answers to good old fashioned self-determination and effort.

Chris Dorner was a sub-par police officer fired for incompetence but he charged racism for his lack of success.  And so race-hustler Jesse Jackson wants to elevate the cop killer to folk hero status under the banner of race victim-hood.

College kids have gotten the memo too.  Lehigh University student Megan Thode got a C+  in one of her core courses.  So she got a lawyer, Dick Orloski who contends the grade scuttled her dream of becoming a licensed professional counselor.  Dick insists there exists a 'conspiracy' to force Megan out of the graduate degree program.  So Ms Thode wants $1.3 million in damages.

Oh yea, and Megan is the daughter of another professor at Lehigh.  So she pays no tuition.  Not that it matters but Megan apparently needed a 'B' to get to the next step but she didn't get the work done and so ended up with a C+.   Megan immediately leaned on daddy and issued ultimatums to the professor and lawyered-up - no doubt with daddy's okay.

So now it's up to a court to either spank Megan for being the spoiled entitlement minded brat she is, or reward her for acting-out and artificially bestow her with a grade she didn't earn.  Stay tuned.

Grandma Threatens To Castrate Politician

Former Planned Parenthood volunteer takes proposal to cut funds personally - rendere castrato..

The  eight-something-year-old is accused of threatening to castrate a politician who wants to castrate funding for Planned Parenthood.  The FBI is investigating.

Indiana GOP Rep. Mike Pence introduced the bill  and may be the target.

The larger more important issue is about public funding of abortions.
 
Democrats are struggling to circumvent the long-standing tradition that taxpayers not be involved in funding the unsavory, unethical, even immoral practice of killing kids in the womb.  Why?  Dems want as many kids aborted as possible of course..

Photography: Women As Animals

Seven-hours and four days posing next to dangerous cheetahs while the wildlife photographer Lennette Newell gets her prize picture, a nameless model cheats death in the name of 'art'.

Well, it's novel, painting people to look like animals, not in a Halloweenee cheezie kind of way.  We are talking precisely, perfectly, dead-on-balls; people equal animals in a snapshot 'fooled ya' moment.

Ms Newell said: 'I wanted to show humans and their animal brothers in a new light that we maybe hadn't been seen before.' Animal brothers? Looks are deceiving, but hot news flash, cheetahs, elephants, baboons, and pythons are not 'our brothers'. Why do some people keep trying to 'be' their pets?

Get this, the biggest problem Ms Newell thought she had was making sure the 'animals' were treated humanely. Classic. Screw the humans just make sure the animals get lunch on time.

Well, in many ways humans are more cruel, more irrational and blood-thirsty than the 'animals' we share the planet with, but so what? Maybe cheetahs and chimps would rather have the house payments, and deal with the ravages of a confused urban life.  Ms Newell is an arteeeest she doesn't bother with a loft payment.

Surprise! Obamacare Doctor Drought

California the tarnished tax-mad third-world state is undergoing a wealth and doctor drain thanks to empty-headed 'progressive' predilections. 

Given the dire imbalance of income earners to parasites in California Obamacare will lead to malpractice as the state tries to replace doctors with technicians.

State Sen. Ed Hernandez (D-West Covina) admits there aren't enough doctors to treat a vastly expanded patient pool. So he wants to swap docs for quacks.

Dr. Paul Phinney, California Medical Assn. says giving non-physicians more autonomy will lower patient safety. Costs will increase because those workers fearful of making a mistake tend to order more tests and prescribe more antibiotics.

Scare tactic? Don't bet your life on it. Obamaquack lowers quality. See how it works now, folks?

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iPad Toilet Roll Stand Makes Debut

Apple is in trouble.  Without Steve Jobs the company has no idea man.   Remember, Apple nearly died when John Scully fired Jobs the first time.  And now that Steve is gone for good the company has no chance.

After a month of steep decline in share price Apple announced a feeble new product instead of an industry shattering counterpoint to Google and Samsung's onslaught technologies.  A wristwatch!

The toilet seems to be the primary office chair when using the iPad so a few vendors have scammed up oddities to handle the duty.  The Angle reported on the kiddie potty with iPad mount.

Today the iPad Pedestal Stand arrives.  Company CT Digital wants to get in on your bowel movements by providing a place to mount your iPad when taking those extended-stay dumps.  The pitch?  How about '...add luxury and convenience to your home or bathroom décor.'

Cool.  Got the toilet paper now just gotta get an iPad and a pair of knee-pads.

Flu, Diarrhea, Pink Eye From An iPhone

Brace yourselves phobia freaks. The cell phone has a sinister side-effect.  .

Diarrhea, flu, colds, pink eye, and ear infections are lurking on your iPhone.  Spread by spitting while speaking then ricochets to nose-glancing, finger-smearing and hand-gripping.

Apple forbids 'window/household cleaners, aerosol sprays, solvents, alcohol, or ammonia' on an iPhone so few think to clean them. 

Labs testing random cell phones show levels of coliform (fecal matter) contamination far higher than found on doorhandles and toilets of public restrooms.  Some 4,200 units of bacteria was found on a single phone!  Just 10 units will make you sicker than an emaciated patient on a cancer ward!

An extra added bonus?  People bring the disease vectors to bed, set them next to food, sweat on them in gyms, and pass them around in schools. Toddlers love to sit on them and put them in their mouths!

Wanna get sick?  Give your iPhone a big lick before going to bed - you'll wake the next day with a fever and an excuse not to go to work.  Then, you can stay in bed all day playing games on the iPhone!

Hot Sauce Warning: Wear Gloves And Goggles

Food masochists live with the 'screamers.'  Some think manhood is measured in the dexterity or dementia to inhale a habanero or scarf a Sichuan pepper.

The Scoville scale measures capsaicinoids.  Capsaicin is the defensive chemistry peppers evolved to keep herbivores and fungi away.

Any of the top ten will make the average eater stop breathing or go blind.

10. Buffalo Wild Wings Blazin’: 350,000 Scovilles
9. Mad Dog 357: 357,000
8. CaJohns Frostbite White: 500,000
7. Melinda’s Red Savina: 577,000
6. Ghost Pepper Jolokia: 650,000
5. Blair’s 2 A.M. Reserve: 800,000
4. Ghost Chile of India: 1 Million
3. Blair’s 3 AM Reserve: 1.5 Million
2. Pepper Palace: 3.5 Million

These nine muscular hydrostat (tongue) stingers are a laugh compared to the number one way to destroy your digestive system.  To purchase the top-dog one must first sign a waiver, be 18 years of age, and agree to wear goggles, gloves and store the item in a cool, dry place - for life.

Meet '16 Million PURE Capsaicin Crystals, 1ml. Kit - Limited Quantities'

The Angle utterly disclaims any and all responsibility should a reader-lunatic buy and try anything listed herein.  Suicide by hot sauce is a heinous way to go folks.

Left-Wing Haters Everywhere

The four groups that 'regressives' hate the most are conservative women, minorities, religions, and the Tea Party.

Attacks on Michael Steele (infamous blackface Photoshop), Clarence Thomas, and Michele Malkin are proof.

Certainly the irrational tirades and false accusation against Sarah Palin (Arizona Shootings), the Tea Party (racist charges), the Mormon Church, and Israel are other prime examples.

Liberals claim to support tolerance but use hate speech instead.

Al Gore mocked kids with Downs Syndrome by referring to his political critics as having “an extra chromosome.”

In 2007, White House Press Secretary Tony Snow revealed his cancer had returned. Commentators on the left-wing Daily Kos website seemed over-joyed, “the world would be better off without him”

Hillary Clinton referred to a subordinate as a “Jew bastard”.

Obama has fueled racial and ethnic tension among partisans urging them to “punish our enemies and reward our friends.”

Louis Farrakhan speaking at a mosque in Egypt,  'They (Jews) stole land in Palestine… And this Synagogue of Satan knows that the end of their time of rule is up. The jig is up.'

Donald Duck On Defensive

In the age of Obama racism is said the be prevalent, pervading and omnipotent.  But only for not blacks.

When you hear or see a liberal chirp racism substitute the word 'Juden' and you have the exact historical parallel.  And the racism boogey-man is unrelenting.

A second black family in a week has accused a cartoon character at Disneyland of snubbing their kids allegedly due to racism.

Mother Nastasia White said her son, Razzi was ignored by Donald Duck. Donald, Nastasia insists turned to hug a 'white' baby in a stroller rather than pay attention to her kid.

Asked if she was being hyper-sensitive Nastasia got louder, 'I didn't because it was done in a blatant and ugly way.'

The Disney folks did give the White's the benefit of the doubt bestowing free passes to cover any future visit. But the crusading mom wants more, much more. The White's got themselves a lawyer suing Disneyland for their presumed racist trauma.

Jesse Jackson said today he 'feels the pain' of the cop killer in LA. Oh yea, the cop killer is a black guy. Look for Obama, Holder and Sharpton to demonize Disney now, the same way they and the libbie press went after George Zimmerman.

After all, Herr Obama can't let the Jews bigots get away with it now can he.

Fudd-Duck Ticket Fail To Unseat Obama

The GOP convinced the dynamic Warner Brothers duo, Elmer Fudd and Daffy Duck to run against Obama/Biden in the 2012 horse-race.  But the duo didn't even come close.

Elmer J. Fudd has been hunting since the election. Asked what his favorite target was he replied, 'Be vewy vewy quiet, I'm hunting wabbits, huh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh.'

Fudd's running mate, Daffy Duck was a surprise pick for second spot on the ticket.  But apparently the public was not impressed.

Obama's tenure leaves a trail of disastrous debt, and records in poverty and government expansion. But not even the solid alternative offered by the Fudd-Duck ticket could unseat the worst president in American history.

And now Fudd faces a gun control push by Obama that may well strip him of his 2nd amendment right to shotguns and ACME boobie traps.