Suddenly a mountainous 400 pound bearded woman parted the crowd and stabbed the demure male in the neck.
The at-large female waddled-off wearing a billowing white shirt and ginormous jeans but was apprehended the next day when 'she' returned to get her junk. Like she could hide anyway.
The bearded behemoth was booked in county jail on assault with a deadly weapon and for scaring the poop out of some poor guy with a nicotine craving.
