Most Violent Country In Europe

The British Firearm Act of 1997 was pushed by gun control Brits who wanted a total ban on all guns. In the end they didn't ban all guns, "but served to essentially prohibit the ownership of handguns in Britain."

Whats the result? Disaster.

By 2009 Britain was "the most violent country in Europe." Not only is Britain the most violent country in Europe, it also has "the worse rate for all types of violence than the U.S. and South Africa."

So the next time some liberal gun-control goon gets in your face and give Britain as an example. Pull out this chart and slam them to the mat.

Remember, left-wingers DEPEND on you being more ignorant than they are to win a point.

Teacher Fired For Killer Robot Threat

When a cop or a commando snaps, people die.  When a teacher goes over the edge, well kids need to worry about killer robots.

At least they do at the Oceanside Unified School District.

Educator Tuyet-Mai Thi Vo got mad as hell one day and issued the following promise to her students.

According to authorities, “Ms. Vo told her class that if robots were teachers, Ms. Vo would program the robot to shoot the students every time the students didn’t pay attention, talked back, or even talked at all...”

An online poll of Ms. Vo's conduct reveals most people agree with her, they actually thought she was being too generous in her treatment of pupils.

What the hell is going on in California schools, man...

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Highest Paid Woman CEO Was A Man

The good news? The highest paid female CEO, Martine Rothblatt, former space lawyer made $38 million bucks last year, a good chunk of change by anyone's standard.

The bad news? The highest paid female CEO is a guy, or at least was a guy before the sex change surgery.

As you look at Martine's interview see if you can find the woman in there somewhere...

So, what might be the subtext here?  How about men blocked near the top make the switch to get the job? 

Holy mother of God, seriously?  And what's a space lawyer, anyway?


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Refuse Lunch With Fat Friends

Fat people are everywhere, you may be one yourself.  The country has 55 million on food stamps, and a 70% obesity rate.  Something is wrong.

Scientists from Southern Illinois and Cornell universities studied how fat people can affect your eating habits;  "Consistent with the 'lower health commitment' hypothesis, these results demonstrated that people may eat larger portions of unhealthy food and smaller portions of healthy food when eating with an overweight person...".

The researchers think it's all about conformity.

So be forewarned and forearmed.  If ya wanna get fat(ter) then hang out and fritter some fries with a fat friend.  It's all about peer pressure...

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Naked Golf Tees Enrages Feminist

Stephanie Davies-Arai, 55, was in a sporting goods store when she saw something that she claims promotes violence against women.  A set of 'Nuddie Tees' distributed by NuddieTees.com.

Stephanie says, 'They are really horrible. I was actually upset. It’s basically saying that knocking the head off a woman is a joke, something that is really funny.'

A spokesman for store says the shop will not stop selling the item which sold 'really well' for the past ten years. Yes, ten years folks.  And in that time there are have been dozens of police reports blaming Nuddie Tees for acts of violence against women, right? Wrong.

And now that Ms Davies-Arals' laughable reaction has gone viral the black and Caucasian colored tees are flying off the shelves...thanks Steph!

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Hillary's Top Ten Temperament Tells

Yesterday Ben Shapiro, Senior Editor-At-Large of Breitbart News wrote a fun

piece about Hillary Clinton.  The opus reminds us just how different and possibly dangerous Hillary is in real life.

1. Boozer.  Terry McAuliffe, longtime Clinton pal noted, “She loves to sit, throw ‘em back…She’s a girl from Illinois who likes to throw ‘em down with the rest of us.” 
2. Over The Hill.  Hillary will be 68 in 2016. She will be old, but what about her health?
3. Crime.  Hillary has been knee-deep in criminal investigations. She was the only First Lady be subpoenaed and fingerprinted by the FBI.
4. Saul Alinsky.  Much has been written about Obama's worship of Saul Alinsky, but Obama's adoration pales compared to Hillary's personal relationship with the socialist goon behind 'community organizing.'
5. Channeling Eleanor.  Bob Woodward wrote in The Choice how Hillary chatted often with the long-dead Eleanor Roosevelt and Mahatma Gandhi with seance maven Jean Houston holding her hands.

 Shapiro adds five more, take a look.

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Date Rape Nail Polish

Once upon a time in America kids went to college to get an education, get a great job, and sometimes meet and marry mister or miss right soon after graduation.

Wow, are we a long way from Kansas, Toto...

A group of undergrads at North Carolina State University are developing a nail varnish that reacts when the 'date rape' drugs Rohypnol, GHB and Xanax are dumped in a drink.

"With our nail polish, any woman will be empowered to discreetly ensure her safety by simply stirring her drink with her finger...," says the NCU engineers.

Whatever happened to just a plain old good-night kiss? 

What's next? Student designed body armor for those days when the campus shooters show up?  Wait, that's not a bad idea either...

Denmark Town GPS Tags Homeless

The city council in Odense, Denmark, strapped GPS tracking devices on twenty homeless people.

Why?  Tom Rodding of the Odense council said 'they' want to keep track of the movements of the vagrants in order to improve city planning.  Neat justification, huh folks?

"As far as I know, this has never been tried anywhere else in the world before," Rodding said.  Ya think?

Well, Tom here in the USA the NSA uses cell phones to track people.  So why not give the homeless a cell phone instead?  Then they can just call you when they want something...

Obamacare Architect: 75 And You're Done

Rahm Emanuel's older brother Ezekiel is an even bigger menace than Rahm.  Ezekiel Emanuel was the Special Advisor for Health Policy to Peter Orszag, OMB director for Obama.  In that role, Ezekiel became one of the masterminds of Obamacare.

Both men are well known for being left-wing horse's asses, but it is Ezekiel that gains this weeks 'smoking monkey' award for his article in The Atlantic last week in which he pronounced:

“Seventy-five. That’s how long I want to live: 75 years.” his family is freaking out. But he insists, “I am sure of my position…here is a simple truth that many of us seem to resist: living too long is also a loss. It renders many of us, if not disabled, then faltering and declining, a state that may not be worse than death but is nonetheless deprived.”

The architect of Obamacare says 75 is the end of the line?  Can you smell a death panel folks?

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Obama Planning An October Surprise?

Grizzled, grouchy, partisan Democrat and ex-boozer Bob Beckel bristled on 'The Five' an election threat yesterday.

“I’ll tell you: I would expect an October surprise,” Beckel bellowed. “I think I know what is — I’m not going to say it, but I think I know what it is — and it is going to shake things up, and it has to do with national security.”

Let's follow Beckel's deluded glazed doughnut trail.

Obama thinks his 2012 reelection hinged mainly on the killing of Usama Bin Laden.  

So what might a goon like Obama dream up to bolster the demonic Democrats in November?  How about timing an assassination of Abu Bakr al Baghdadi the head if ISIS?

Though it was Obama himself who released Baghdadi in 2009!  Killing Baghdadi would be like deja vu killing Bin Laden all over again, right?

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Artificial Micro-Humans By 2017

Did you think the future was going to be more hilarious than horrific? 

Think again...

Scientists are using gene modification (GM) technology to develop artificial humans intended to replace animals in laboratory testing.  No joke...

The GM humans will contain smartphone-sized microchips that will be programmed to replicate ten human organs.

People are already eating GM beef, breads and biscuits.  So why not farms of tiny GM humans pumping out organs for the larger versions?  Or maybe let the micro-humans have the planet and the rest of us can give them our organs...

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Half Of Woman Can't Find Their Vagina's

What? Women don't know where their vagina's are?

Britain's Gynecological Cancer Awareness month was impetus to conduct  a study to determine just how much women know about their own anatomy's.

The results revealed just 55% of 26-35 year old's couldn't identify a vagina on a picture of the female reproductive system.

And 40% of 16-25 year old's resort to using names such as ‘lady parts’ or ‘women’s bits’ to discuss gynecological health and 65% said they have a problem using the words ‘vagina’ or ‘vulva’.

If women don't know where their va-jay-jay's are then how the hell can they be expected to know the difference between Obama and a real president?

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Study: Smell Difference Between Liberals And Conservatives

Ever stand in the middle of a party and wonder whether you can actually smell a liberal?

Researchers, led by Brown University political scientist Rose McDermott, found conservatives and liberals have different body odors.

"It appears nature stacks the deck to make politically similar partners more attractive to each other in unconscious ways," Rose says.

Previous findings also found that conservatives keep their dorm rooms cleaner, drink less, prefer grape jelly, and are more loyal.  Liberals by contrast are slobs, drink gin and vodka, prefer strawberry jam, and practice the perverted art of situational ethics (if it feels good - do it).

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Gun Greets Guy Pulling Dog Poop From Car

New Mexico Pueblo painter Mateo Romero says a Santa Fe cop pointed a rifle at him while he was cleaning dog poop out of his SUV.

According the police report, the officer pulled out a rifle and detained Romero after neighbor Maria Markus reported a burglary in progress at her home.

Romero says he parked in Markus's driveway because his Shih Tzu - Han Solo took a dump in the car while he was driving past her house. Romero says Markus boxed him in with her car and called 911.

Romero complained that Markus refused to talk to him before police arrived. So there was little he could do except continue to shovel out the hot pile while the cops were apparently en route.

Lesson? When a pet or a kid starts unloading before you get home, keep driving and take care of it in your own driveway. Some neighbors apparently lack the sense of humor necessary to tolerate cock-ah cleanup on their turf.  And the cops are not above poop-profiling people.

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California Strikes 'Husband' And 'Wife' From State Law

California voters approved Prop 22 in 2000 blocking gay marriage. The vote was struck down by California's Supreme Court in 2008, prompting voters to amend the constitution and ban gay marriage again.

Last year, the U.S. Supreme Court upheld the 9th Circuit's striking of the ban as unconstitutional.

Despite the will of the people, gay marriage is now a done deal - and spreading nationwide.

Armed with the SCOTUS decision, gay state Sen. Mark Leno of San Francisco wanted to 'clean up' the messy traditions of heterosexual marriage in California.  So he created SB1306.  Gov. Jerry Brown signed SB1306 yesterday.

The newly signed law lets fudge-packers and muff-divers unite in matrimony.

The law also requires the words 'husband' and 'wife' be stricken from all monuments, monoliths, buildings, books, pillars, pylons, cereal packages, comic books, registrys, transcripts, chronicles, newspapers, magazines, pamphlets, trophies, boat hulls, tombstones, freeway overpasses, outhouses, obituaries, birth certificates and tree trunks in the state.

And replaced with 'I now prounounce you spouse and spouse.'

Dee-do-dee-do-dee-do-dee-do.  Narrator: 'You are about to enter another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind...Next stop, the Twilight Zone!'

Graffiti Tagger Fries On Third Rail Of NYC Subway

The word 'graffiti' comes from the Italian word graffiato ('scratched').

Graffiti bandits 'tag' freeway sound walls, railroad boxcars, white delivery trucks and the tiled surfaces inside the once pristine walls and cars of the New York subway system.  They cost taxpayers billions.

Jason Wulf, 42, was probably 'tagging' just before 10pm at the 25th Street Station in Sunset Park, Brooklyn when it happened. The Queens-based graffiti goon was found dead on the tracks at the station after being electrocuted by the third rail.

Though some say the notorious defacer was a hero the truth is Jason was an obsessed ego-maniac who had no real self-worth. Wulf had been arrested 13 times since 2008, including this past February for criminal mischief, graffiti and trespassing,

Wouldn't it be a hoot if someone emptied a can of contractor orange on his headstone?  Where's that funeral service again?

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Drunk Driver Says Dog Was Driving

The place: Quickie Mart, Oconee County, GA.
The crime: Hot dog.
The suspect: 60-year-old, Wesley Mark Terrell.

The cops got a call about a canine locked in a car in front of a fast food joint on a 100 degree day in sweat hog Georgia. Sheriff Sgt. Partain says the inside temperature of the car was indeed over 123 degrees. 

After locating the car's owner Wesley Mark Terrell, officer Partain couldn't avoid Wesley's forceful feculent breath wreaking like the floor of a post apocalyptic frat house party.

How sauced-up was Wesley?  Well the curmudgeon told the cop his overheated dog drove him to the store to buy some corn.

Unconvinced, Partain arrested Terrell and he was later charged with Animal Cruelty and DUI.

The dog was turned over to Animal Control too cool down.  And Terrell?  He's training a cat how to drive now.

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1 In 3 Southerners Below Poverty Line

Poverty zoomed to record levels while Obama's been playing golf. 

Not really news, but the sheer magnitude and devastation Democrat party policies have had on both the national debt and the poor cannot be understated.

A grim new report from the U.S. Census Bureau shows a solid band of high poverty concentration running from Arizona to North Carolina.

A staggering 25% of the U.S. population, 77million Americans, lived in poverty areas in 2010 - a shocking 56% jump from the 2000 census and a full 20% jump since Obama took over.

The gap between rich and poor is now as bad as when the robber barons JD Rockefeller, Andrew Carnegie and Cornelius Vanderbilt were trying to top each other on the backs and blood of ordinary people.

Even more fun? When Johnson announced the war on poverty in 1964 the jobless rate for whites and blacks was the same. Today, after $4 trillion has been blown on poverty programs, blacks are victim to double the jobless rate than whites suffer.

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Berkeley Mandates Free Pot To Poor

Despite marijuana listed under the Federal Controlled Substance Act as a Schedule I drug, Berkeley is sanctioning illegal sales of Cannabis Sativa city-wide.

Heck, the city council even wants to make sure the 'poor' dope smokers get their doobies too, despite the high cost.

The city of Berkeley is requiring 'medical' marijuana shops give away 2% of their stock annually to low-income 'patients.'

“We think this is the responsible thing to do for those less fortunate in our community,” said Berkeley City Councilmember Darryl Moore.

Hey Darryl encouraging people to break federal drug laws is not a 'responsible thing to do,' you obtuse, pointee-headed goon.

Wonder what the limp-dicks in Berkeley would do if the NRA handed out free guns to the poor?  Wouldn't that be a hoot?

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Dog Vomits Wedding Ring Lost For Five Years

Five years ago, Lois Matykowski lost her wedding ring. But no one suspected Tucker had it 'till he coughed it up a week ago.

"He's known in the family to be the food burglar," said Lois.

Two weeks ago Lois and her granddaughter were feasting on Popsicles when Tucker snapped the one in her hand and swallowed it whole.

Apparently the sugar hit and the Popsicle stick were too much for Tucker and he up-chucked a his own weight of indescribable stuff two days later.

But wait, what the hell is that in the middle of the goop? Matykowski's wedding ring, the one that disappeared five years ago. When the ring disappeared Lois said, "I was devastated, how do you replace something like that?

The vet theorized the Popsicle stick dislodged the matrimonial band stuck inside the hapless hound for half a decade. Hoping to find other hardware disappearing over the years, the vet took a series of x-rays, but bubkiss.

Despite Tucker being a jewel thief, Matykowski carries no grudge. "I'm just elated," she said. "He threw up on the carpeting and I don't even care."

Still, the prudent parent will keep Tucker away from the kids toys just in case...