Gun Greets Guy Pulling Dog Poop From Car

New Mexico Pueblo painter Mateo Romero says a Santa Fe cop pointed a rifle at him while he was cleaning dog poop out of his SUV.

According the police report, the officer pulled out a rifle and detained Romero after neighbor Maria Markus reported a burglary in progress at her home.

Romero says he parked in Markus's driveway because his Shih Tzu - Han Solo took a dump in the car while he was driving past her house. Romero says Markus boxed him in with her car and called 911.

Romero complained that Markus refused to talk to him before police arrived. So there was little he could do except continue to shovel out the hot pile while the cops were apparently en route.

Lesson? When a pet or a kid starts unloading before you get home, keep driving and take care of it in your own driveway. Some neighbors apparently lack the sense of humor necessary to tolerate cock-ah cleanup on their turf.  And the cops are not above poop-profiling people.

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California Strikes 'Husband' And 'Wife' From State Law

California voters approved Prop 22 in 2000 blocking gay marriage. The vote was struck down by California's Supreme Court in 2008, prompting voters to amend the constitution and ban gay marriage again.

Last year, the U.S. Supreme Court upheld the 9th Circuit's striking of the ban as unconstitutional.

Despite the will of the people, gay marriage is now a done deal - and spreading nationwide.

Armed with the SCOTUS decision, gay state Sen. Mark Leno of San Francisco wanted to 'clean up' the messy traditions of heterosexual marriage in California.  So he created SB1306.  Gov. Jerry Brown signed SB1306 yesterday.

The newly signed law lets fudge-packers and muff-divers unite in matrimony.

The law also requires the words 'husband' and 'wife' be stricken from all monuments, monoliths, buildings, books, pillars, pylons, cereal packages, comic books, registrys, transcripts, chronicles, newspapers, magazines, pamphlets, trophies, boat hulls, tombstones, freeway overpasses, outhouses, obituaries, birth certificates and tree trunks in the state.

And replaced with 'I now prounounce you spouse and spouse.'

Dee-do-dee-do-dee-do-dee-do.  Narrator: 'You are about to enter another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind...Next stop, the Twilight Zone!'

Graffiti Tagger Fries On Third Rail Of NYC Subway

The word 'graffiti' comes from the Italian word graffiato ('scratched').

Graffiti bandits 'tag' freeway sound walls, railroad boxcars, white delivery trucks and the tiled surfaces inside the once pristine walls and cars of the New York subway system.  They cost taxpayers billions.

Jason Wulf, 42, was probably 'tagging' just before 10pm at the 25th Street Station in Sunset Park, Brooklyn when it happened. The Queens-based graffiti goon was found dead on the tracks at the station after being electrocuted by the third rail.

Though some say the notorious defacer was a hero the truth is Jason was an obsessed ego-maniac who had no real self-worth. Wulf had been arrested 13 times since 2008, including this past February for criminal mischief, graffiti and trespassing,

Wouldn't it be a hoot if someone emptied a can of contractor orange on his headstone?  Where's that funeral service again?

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Drunk Driver Says Dog Was Driving

The place: Quickie Mart, Oconee County, GA.
The crime: Hot dog.
The suspect: 60-year-old, Wesley Mark Terrell.

The cops got a call about a canine locked in a car in front of a fast food joint on a 100 degree day in sweat hog Georgia. Sheriff Sgt. Partain says the inside temperature of the car was indeed over 123 degrees. 

After locating the car's owner Wesley Mark Terrell, officer Partain couldn't avoid Wesley's forceful feculent breath wreaking like the floor of a post apocalyptic frat house party.

How sauced-up was Wesley?  Well the curmudgeon told the cop his overheated dog drove him to the store to buy some corn.

Unconvinced, Partain arrested Terrell and he was later charged with Animal Cruelty and DUI.

The dog was turned over to Animal Control too cool down.  And Terrell?  He's training a cat how to drive now.

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1 In 3 Southerners Below Poverty Line

Poverty zoomed to record levels while Obama's been playing golf. 

Not really news, but the sheer magnitude and devastation Democrat party policies have had on both the national debt and the poor cannot be understated.

A grim new report from the U.S. Census Bureau shows a solid band of high poverty concentration running from Arizona to North Carolina.

A staggering 25% of the U.S. population, 77million Americans, lived in poverty areas in 2010 - a shocking 56% jump from the 2000 census and a full 20% jump since Obama took over.

The gap between rich and poor is now as bad as when the robber barons JD Rockefeller, Andrew Carnegie and Cornelius Vanderbilt were trying to top each other on the backs and blood of ordinary people.

Even more fun? When Johnson announced the war on poverty in 1964 the jobless rate for whites and blacks was the same. Today, after $4 trillion has been blown on poverty programs, blacks are victim to double the jobless rate than whites suffer.

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Berkeley Mandates Free Pot To Poor

Despite marijuana listed under the Federal Controlled Substance Act as a Schedule I drug, Berkeley is sanctioning illegal sales of Cannabis Sativa city-wide.

Heck, the city council even wants to make sure the 'poor' dope smokers get their doobies too, despite the high cost.

The city of Berkeley is requiring 'medical' marijuana shops give away 2% of their stock annually to low-income 'patients.'

“We think this is the responsible thing to do for those less fortunate in our community,” said Berkeley City Councilmember Darryl Moore.

Hey Darryl encouraging people to break federal drug laws is not a 'responsible thing to do,' you obtuse, pointee-headed goon.

Wonder what the limp-dicks in Berkeley would do if the NRA handed out free guns to the poor?  Wouldn't that be a hoot?

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Dog Vomits Wedding Ring Lost For Five Years

Five years ago, Lois Matykowski lost her wedding ring. But no one suspected Tucker had it 'till he coughed it up a week ago.

"He's known in the family to be the food burglar," said Lois.

Two weeks ago Lois and her granddaughter were feasting on Popsicles when Tucker snapped the one in her hand and swallowed it whole.

Apparently the sugar hit and the Popsicle stick were too much for Tucker and he up-chucked a his own weight of indescribable stuff two days later.

But wait, what the hell is that in the middle of the goop? Matykowski's wedding ring, the one that disappeared five years ago. When the ring disappeared Lois said, "I was devastated, how do you replace something like that?

The vet theorized the Popsicle stick dislodged the matrimonial band stuck inside the hapless hound for half a decade. Hoping to find other hardware disappearing over the years, the vet took a series of x-rays, but bubkiss.

Despite Tucker being a jewel thief, Matykowski carries no grudge. "I'm just elated," she said. "He threw up on the carpeting and I don't even care."

Still, the prudent parent will keep Tucker away from the kids toys just in case...

Gap Between Rich And Poor Doubled

Obama likes to play card games.  Obama has emptied the deck on the race, gender, illegals, and class division cards.  Obama has fanned the flames of economic divisions yet he has failed to help those that he conned into voting for him.

The gap between the poor, middle class and the rich has doubled thanks to a crap jobs market and a bubble in the stock market.

In 2007, 5% of Americans had 16.5 times the median household.  By 2013 the top 1% have 24 times the media household.

Worse? Median household wealth declined 43% in the same period thanks to lower wages and still stagnant housing prices.
Just 10% of households own 80% of stocks.  Homeowners are underwater again, 20% still owe more than their houses are worth, and 50% are paying over 30% of their incomes on house payments.

With 94 million out of the job market, and 50 million below the poverty why do some still use the word 'recovery'?  Oh yea, they are liberal liars.

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40 Million Americans Losing Homes, Again

Obama seems hellbent on driving just about everyone, blacks included, into a poverty, homelessness, joblessness, and a subsistence existence.  Why?  Cricket sound...

Remember the subprime housing crash that created the Great Recession?  Did you think it ended because Obama said so?

Today, right now, this minute even after six years of pretending to fix it, there are forty million Americans on the edge of losing their homes, again.  And even more horrifying?  Obama already has fifty million in poverty and a record one million living on the streets without a home.

Are you next?  What will you do?  How about learn to live in your car? In that vein, the Angle offers seventeen ways to make the experience less humiliating and not even close to enjoyable.

1. get a car and don't sleep in the trunk
2. get a P.O. Box so you can get government mail
3. get an EBT (Food Stamps) card delivered to your P.O Box
4. get earplugs (and spares when they fall under the gas pedal)
5. get permission to use a high school shower (not during classes)
6. get out of the car during the day so it doesn't look like you live in it
7. get an ice chest for clothes (you won't need a safe, you are broke)
8. get some jumper cables to mooch jumps when your battery dies
9. get garbage bags for your dirty clothes and save up for laundry day
10. get out of the car to pee and poop if not near a toilet
11. don't store food unless you wanna live with ants, snakes and roaches
12. don't yell at people from inside your car, get out and do it
13. don't ask a cop for a light, a tow, or spare change
14. don't run your engine to keep warm or you'll never move again
15. don't park near train tracks, sports stadiums or your old house
16. don't be afraid, the other cars are full of people just like you
17. don't let Obama drive you out of your house in the first place

Feel better now? No?  Wow, you must be hard to please.

EPA Employees Pooping In Hallways

The EPA is having a bad week.

On Monday SCOTUS spanked both Obama and the agency for exceeding their power. “An agency has no power to ‘tailor’ legislation to bureaucratic policy goals by rewriting unambiguous statutory terms,” the court said.

Killing half the energy production of the USA in the name of false science is business as usual at the rogue agency.

So it seems kinda fitting and proper that EPA employees are pooping in the hallways and sabotaging toilets at work.  After all, their utility bills are taking a hit too.

EPA Administrator Howard Cantor sent out an email describing "several incidents" of toilets clogged with paper towels and other vandalism. And that an "individual" was "placing feces in the hallway."

So what does a giant federal bureaucracy do to stop a hallway pooper? Hire a six-figure consultant of course; a "national expert" in "workplace violence."

Problem solved, laughing...

Gary Oldman Pounds The PC Police

Surprise! The hyper talented Gary Oldman is a self-described 'libertarian' hiding in plain site. 

"You have to be very careful what you say," Oldman referring to how Hollywood PC cops keep people in line.

Opining on the clear double standard perpetrated by liberals Oldman laid it out bare and raw...

"Well, if I called Nancy Pelosi a cunt—and I’ll go one better, a fucking useless cunt—I can’t really say that. But Bill Maher and Jon Stewart can, and nobody’s going to stop them from working because of it..."

Then the actor turns a little sardonic, "...Any night of the week you only need to turn on one of these news channels and watch for half an hour. Read the newspaper. Go online. Our world has gone to hell."

A hell people'd by leg-licking lap dog liberals.  Will they win?  Stay tuned...

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George Will: Five Ways To Stop Obama

George Will is a conservative but not prone to conspiracy theory.  So why is Will identifying five methods for stopping Obama's anti-constitutional excesses? 

Because he says Obama's uniquely rogue at this point.

So how does one stop a rogue president?

Impeachment. Obama is guilty of impeachable offenses.  Sadly, impeachment is near-impossible. The House has the votes to bring the charges, but the Senate lacks 2/3rds membership willing to do the right thing.

Legislative Standing. Will wants SCOTUS to allow legislative standing so that Congress can stop the executive overreach.  Not gonna happen.

Constitutional Amendments.  Narrow the power of the feds in the Constitution itself.  That's like asking Obama resign.  What's the chances of that?

Expanding RICO. Allow private civil suits against the executive branch.  Talk about a litigious society.  Suddenly there would be 100 million lawsuits against Obama.

State Action.  Remember the civil war?  State's rights pretty much went South when the shooting stopped.  In fact, that's the pivot point that made the Fed lord over the states.

See why Obama knows he can get away with it now?  Sad, huh?

9th Circuit Rules Living In A Car Okay

Starting with Teddy Roosevelt's New Nationalism and later Wilson's New Freedom, FDR's New Deal, JFK's New Frontier, and Lyndon Johnson's Great Society 'progressives' welfare spending has outstripped even military spending during the last 113 years.

But why are there more homeless adults and kids roaming the streets since Ofail took over? Well, remember the Subprime Housing Crash where the Democrats destroyed middle class housing and drove nearly 100 million people out of the workforce?

California is a liberal hell-hole of hypocrisy and water wasters. So is it a surprise to find Los Angeles with a law making criminals out of homeless people?  And what about Obama housing hundreds of thousands of illegals inside military bases?

Well LA just got spanked for their little tidy ordinance. The 9th U.S. Circuit last week ruled the 1983 law was vaguely written and discriminates against homeless and poor people. Who ran Los Angeles in 1983? The first black mayor Tom Bradely.

Wanna have some fun poor folk?  Relocate to any street in Beverly Hills.  Should anyone harasses or molests you, call a cop and have the mayor arrested - the courts are on your side people.

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Harry Reid: Democrats Don't 'Have Any Billionaires'

Screw loose Harry Reid would be funny if he weren't so serious.   Even if Harry never met Nancy they sound eerily the same, huh?

Reid spittled the following on the Senate floor yesterday: one side--the Democrats--doesn't "have any" billionaire backers.

So why does Harry think we should A. believe him and B. care at all, because he says, "The decisions by the Supreme Court have left the American people with the status quo in which one side's billionaires are pitted against the other side's billionaires...except one side doesn't have any billionaires."

Guess Reid didn't look at the tax returns for George Soros, Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, Larry Ellison (Oracle), James Simons (hedge fund king), Irwin Jacobs (Qualcomm), Marc Benioff (Salesforce.com), Ann Cox Chambers (Cox Cable), and Penny Pritzker (Hyatt Hotels) for starters.

Hey Harry, Searchlight doesn't want you back either.

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Drought: San Francisco Water Waste

Jerry Brown politely asked people to voluntarily cut water use by 20% due to the worst drought in California history.

San Francisco told Brown to go drink his own urine.

The city overrun by hyper-liberal green nympholepts wants the rest of their state to do-as-I-say-not-do-as-I-do. Surprise!

San Francisco, San Bernardino, Riverside, and San Diego counties dribbled out a mere 1% drop in water use since the warning.  Overall, the state has cut guzzling by just 5%.

An inconvenient water truth forcing Liberals to abuse the environment?  Better recalculate the numbers, it can't be true...

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Paraplegic's Penis Plight

Canada has socialized medicine.  But you can still sue for malpractice if you end up with a short end on your stick.

A paraplegic man from Repentingy, Quebec, wants $142,000 from Le Gardeur Hospital for leaving him with a one-inch shorter penis and a divorce.

The sad sack said he was injured having sex with his wife. He alleges a urologist diagnosed a “minor trauma” and sent him home.

The man says he and his wife struggled to have sex for several weeks before he went back and was finally diagnosed with a fractured penis. The surgery left him with a large scar and an inch shorter member.

Apparently his wife felt short-changed too, and split.

If he gets the money the Angle assumes he'll either find a new wife not looking for length, or get fitted with a plastic prosthetic penis and point it at the princesses.

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Obama Flunks Climate Science 101

Obama, surprise, is a Global Warming cultist.

A brilliant writer, James Delingpole at Breitbart News took apart Obama's climate change chant at UC Irvine last week. 

Obama opened with, "I'm not a scientist." which was the only accurate statement of the speech.  So why did Obama continue anyway?

"I do know the overwhelming majority of scientists who work on climate change, including some who once disputed the data, have put the debate to rest."    Wrong. Obama simply repeats the multiply discredited "97 per cent" consensus meme.

"Today's Congress is full of folks who stubbornly and automatically reject the scientific evidence."    True. Democrats carrying water for the cult group reject overwhelming evidence there's been no warming since 1997.

"They will tell you climate change is a hoax or fad."    The 'they' here are those who accept the current data objectively and agree the planet is cooling, not warming.

“When President Kennedy set us on a course to the moon...I don’t remember anybody saying the moon wasn’t there or that it was made of cheese.”    This is 'grade school level logical fallacy.' Kennedy's moon landing, ironically, was an exercise in real science - nothing like the fake climate models built on manipulated data.

True, Obama and those like him have no case.  And that's a big problem given he has so much power and pretends that he does.

Chris Mathews: Born Again Tea Party Guy?

Hell is definitely freezing over when Obama leg tingler Chris Mathews suddenly wakes up and slaps a big wet kiss on the lips of Tea Party Patriots.

Remember, this is the same guy that no doubt used the derogatory and gay sexual term 'tea bagger' when referring to what he no doubt was convinced is a dumb, racist, even possibly violent anti-Obama group.

Mathews says of Tea Party guy David Brat, "he's certainly up to the ranks of most politicians I've ever dealt with. He speaks in a speculative manner and an intellectual manner. He can handle any debate on this program or my program."

Mathews continues, "This looking down our noses at tea party people has got to stop, they have a message, they're as American as any liberal is, and they're really angry about the failure of the system."

Looks like the alleged Obama Messiah shine is finally all the way off.

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Knife Wielding Homeless Man Hides Under Child's Bed

Remember the bogey man?  Laying there in a cold sweat pretty darn sure someone's behind the darkened door, or worse, coiled up under the bed ready to attack you in the middle of the night?

While dad was away, the kids were curled up with mom on her bed.  Suddenly the muffled sound that grabs your groin broke the silence of the darkened house.

“I picked the billy club up that I keep by my bed when my husband is away, and I got up from the bed, dialed 911 and turned the hall light on,” mom later told the cops.

The cops found Kenneth Webb, 56, who was indeed hiding under one of the kid'd beds. Ken had a knife and a jewelry box and some change on him and admitted he had cut through the screen to gain entry to the house.

Webb was charged with two counts of burglary and unlawful possession of a weapon.

Now doncha feel kinda silly telling your kids there's no such thing as a bogey man?  Oh, and mom?  Better swap the billy club for a gun, Kenny had a knife ya know...

Top Ten Dogs Insurers Deny

Insurance companies wanna know what kind of dog you have before you get signed up for homeowners and renters coverage.

Why?  Because insurance companies are in the business of putting a price tag on risk.  And paying for your poor choice of pet is not in their vocabulary.

So you don't think you need or want homeowners insurance?  Then you can forget getting a mortgage loan; banks will insist.

And that's where your pet you pick becomes a problem.

The top ten dogs inflicting the lion share of 1000 bites per day are:

1. Pit Bulls and Mix.  Between 1982-2013 these menaces have killed 275 people and maimed 1808. Yet the ASPCA says they get a bad rap.
2. Rottweilers.  Killed 81, maimed 294.
3. Alaskan and Siberian Huskies. Killed 25, maimed 30.
4. Wolf Hybrids. Killed 20, maimed 50.
5. Bull Mastiff (presa canario).  You get the idea...
6. German Shepard
7. Chow Chows.
8. Akita.
9. Boxer.
10. Doberman Pinschers.

Ah, but those cute little viscous, frothing, snarling, unpredictable, bred to kill pit pulls are so cuddly, huh numbnuts...

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